The Walking Dead mid season finale

I was kind of pissed when I realized that The Walking Dead wouldn't be returning next Sunday, but there was a lot of stuff going on last night. It will be returning on February 12th, so it won't be TOO bad of a wait. But it'll probably kill me anyways. I'll be a Walker by the time it returns. If you've yet to see last night's episode, this post will contain some spoilers. Continue at your own risk.

So, I really enjoyed last night's episode. But I have a few questions I'd like to ask you all, to see if we're on the same page here. My own little version of Talking Dead, I guess.

1. Am I the only one who wishes Shane would get eaten already? He's a complete asshole to everyone around him, and I'm really getting sick of it. He has no compassion or regard for his fellow man at all. Maybe that's the way you need to be in a world full of Walkers, but still. I understand he's a survivor, but he doesn't have to be such an asshole all the time.

2. Was Shane right in releasing all the Walkers from Hershel's barn? I know he was trying to prove a point while simultaneously ridding the camp of danger. But I'm sure he could have gone about it in a better way. I agree with what Rick was trying to do: talk to Hershel and convince him that they weren't safe. If that didn't work, sure, then Shane could have taken matters into his own hands. But releasing about a dozen Walkers onto his camp? Now THAT'S dangerous.

3. Who is the father of Lori's baby? I hope it's Rick's, but it probably does belong to Shane. I don't even want to know what he'll do farther along in her pregnancy or when the baby is finally born. Of course, with the lack of DNA testing in their apocalyptic world, we'll never really know who the father is. Maybe they should try to find Maury...

4. Who else is upset about Sophia? I had really hoped that little girl would be okay, especially after all the trouble everyone (mostly Daryl) went through trying to find her. When I saw her shambling out of Hershel's barn, I almost broke out in tears. I will say, though, that she was quite the creepy one. Also, is it good that Rick was the one that killed Sophia? I was hoping they'd let her mom do it, so it could be someone very close to her. That way, it wouldn't just be killing some Walker. But I guess anyone would have been better than Shane.

So what do you think? Come on! Let's have a discussion here.


#80 -- The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made (2005)

Director: Bill Zebub
Rating: 4 / 5

"Bananas are horrible creatures! They mutilate their prey!

No, I don't think so badly of this movie that I don't think it even deserves a title. That is actually what the movie is called, and rightly so. The director, who calls himself Bill Zebub, was going for a terrible horror movie. So don't expect it to actually be pretty good. He wanted it to be awful, and he succeeded. But I think certain people will like it, because I certainly did. It is completely horrible, but it's funny because of that. It starts off with a group of friends playing cards. The group starts dying off, by being killed - mostly - by bananas. One man slips on a bar of soap and busts his head open on the floor. Except it's not his head; it's a watermelon. There was no attempt to hide the fact that it was a watermelon, either. 

When all their friends die, Jeanne and Rocco (the hosts of the party) decide that there's no way the cops will believe that they didn't do it. So they go on the run. Along the way, the meet quite a bit of colorful characters. They meed a toilet paper mummy, zombees (zombie-like bumble bees with red eyes), a family of stereotypical rednecks, an alien with a raging hardon, a shit demon complete with corn-mouth, ghosts of slaves on the underground railroad, a baby-eater, and bunches of terrorists. America seems to be under a terrorist attack, so they have that to worry about that as well as running from the police. 

We also see a bunch of crazy people when Rocco ends up being admitted into an insane asylum. Jeanne gets turned into a giant, Rocco travels inside of her and discovers that she's pregnant. He aborts the baby with a lasergun. Jesus also plays a part in this movie, and I must warn everyone - IT'S BAD. If you're not into religious jokes, steer clear, please. Jesus happens to be a rapist, and tries to get jiggy with Jeanne. I don't want to go to much into this part of the movie, so as not to offend anyone, but it's pretty bad. Personally, I found it hilarious, but I understand that it will not be funny to everyone. There's also a horny werewolf, who changes at the sight of a bare ass (a full moon, ha-ha). Like I said, there are plenty of colorful characters.

The acting is horrible, the effects are horrible, the dialogue is awful. Everything is awful. There was practically no story to it, it made no sense, and you'll probably lose a few brain cells while watching this. Don't expect anything different. That was the plan when making this movie: Bill Zebub was intent on making the worst horror movie ever, and most will agree that he succeeded. Personally, I love movies that are purposely stupid. But it's not for everyone. Trust me. Proceed with caution. 

NOTE: This movie was actually remade in 2008 by Bill Zebub. I think he just wanted to make it a little bit better, but I'm not quite sure. Anyways, the remake seems to be a bit more popular than this one. It is practically impossible to find any sort of video or photos to go along with this movie (the photos I have up are screenshots from my DVD). If you do a google search, almost everything you will find will be for the 2008 version. So, it seems that this movie is completely dead. So, there is no trailer in The Trailer Park. I couldn't find a damn thing.


#79 -- Pervert! (2005)

Director: Jonathan Yudis
Rating: 3 / 5

I don't think you have to be a pervert to watch this movie, but it probably helps. When you've got a sick and nasty sense of humor like me, you'll enjoy it. Otherwise, you'll probably just think it's stupid and that you wasted your time. In Pervert! a young man, James, stays with his father somewhere out in the desert, it seems. His father, an old dirty man, somehow seems to get some really hot ladies. But he can't keep the ladies for too long, because James likes to steal them. Unfortunately, James doesn't get to keep them very long either, because they all end up dying mysteriously. 

We're led to believe for a while that it's some sort of boogeyman killing the women. We see a first-person view of something crawling from underneath James' bed to go out and hack some hotties. But we soon realize that the beast does NOT live under James' bed...It lives in his pants, and it is very jealous. Or, I shall say she. She loves James, and she doesn't want any other women near him. We find out that James had spoken with a witch doctor in order to help him attract women. But of course, all magic comes with a price. 

James' dad is somewhat of a freaky artist, and he creates sculptures of female bodies - out of meat. This leads us to believe for a while that it's actually the old fart killing the women. But no, he's just a lonely, crazy old man with some issues. James eventually ends up falling in love with a nurse that he'd hired to take care of his father. But the nurse had ulterior motives, and all did not go as planned. So, again, if you've got a twisted sense of humor and enjoy really cheesy and weird horror movies, Pervert! is the movie for you. 


Zombina and the Skeletones: The First Kiss

Ever since I started this blog, I wanted to do something with horror themed music; I just haven't gotten around to doing it. But that all stops now. If you've never heard of Zombina, you're really missing out. They are amazing musicians, with INCREDIBLE horror music. They're one of my favorite bands, and The First Kiss is one of my favorite songs. I like this song because it's a little bit different from the rest of their music. Most of their songs are pretty obvious. You understand immediately that it's about zombies, monsters, or whatever. But this one's not quite as obvious, and the lyrics are absolutely beautiful. It is about unwillingly being forced into the world of vampires.

Zombina and the Skeletones: The First Kiss

I have a confession for you
You're not my first
I'm older than I seem
though sometimes I still move too fast
I'm smarter than I look
but I have a checkered past
I have a confession for you
You won't be my last

The first kiss cuts deeper than the rest
It's a shame, but it's just the way it is
The first kiss cuts deeper than the rest
I will never breathe again

I have a confession for you
My love passed on long ago
When the world was black and white,
and I was oh so young
Now I'm obliged to take from you
what I need to stay strong
I have a confession for you
All I love is gone

The first kiss cuts deeper than the rest
It's a shame, but it's just the way it is
The first kiss cuts deeper than the rest
I will never breathe again

In between days
Only at night
I took his love
He took my life

Somehow my dress became undone
The moon stared down in disapproval
Like a dead man's head forced into a pitch black drain
Weeping stars to illustrate a glittering release from pain
From my loveless life
My lifeless love
would gleam just like the tears that hung above our heads
in these wooden beds
I think it's getting late
Now I kneel before St. Peter's gate,
the hot breath of Hell still on my neck as I wait
And I wait, and I wait, and I wait

The first kiss cuts deeper than the rest
It's a shame, but it's just the way it is
The first kiss cuts deeper than the rest
I will never breathe again

If you want to listen to the song, you can do so here.


Friday the (not-so) 13th, Part 6

Being a bookworm, I'm really interested in all the Friday the 13th books out there. I was surprised to find out that there are quite a lot of them. And, unfortunately, I cannot afford any of them. But here's a look at some of the books I've found.

Friday the 13th books

Camp Crystal Lake series

As far as I can tell, this series is follows the formula of the movies. Kids going to the lake only to be taken out one by one. They're not novelizations; they're just based on the film series. It seems pretty interesting to me, and I might check them out one day. You can buy these on Amazon, but there is a HUGE difference in pricing between new and used copies. You can get a new one for almost three-hundred dollars; or you can get a used one for thirty cents. It doesn't make sense to me, but when I do finally check it out, I'll be going for the used.

Buy "Mother's Day" on Amazon

Crystal Lake Memories

This is a complete history of the Friday the 13th series, with a foreward by Sean Cunningham. I took a peek inside the book at Amazon, and it seems like it is completely amazing. I would LOVE to have this book in my collection.

Buy it!

Making Friday the 13th

This is the only of the books that I actually own, and it's definitely wonderful. It, if you can't tell from the title, describes the making of each of the movies (not including the newest), including several behind the scenes photos. It is very interesting and has taught me a lot about the series.

Buy it!

Friday the 13th Novelization

These ARE novelizations of the movies, based upon the actual screenplay. I once read an excerpt of the second of these, and it goes a bit deeper into the story of Jason and his mother. I would also love to have these, so I can get to know my husband better (he doesn't talk much, so it's hard as it is to get to know him very well). I've found parts 1, 2, 3, and 6 of these books. I'm sure there are parts 4 & 5 as well, so we know there are at least six novelizations. I'm not sure if Simon Hawke has written books for all the other movies, though.

Buy it!

Friday the 13th series

This is also a series based upon the movies, all written by different authors. It seems interesting, though many of them received terrible reviews on Amazon. I'd still love to read them.

Buy 'em on Amazon!

Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

Out of all these other books, I want these comics more than anything. The story is this: Freddy is dead, and trapped inside Jason's mind. Along with Jason's mother, Freddy convinces him to retrieve the Necronomicon so that Freddy can be resurrected. Ash, along with other S-Mart employees, must stop the madness. According to what I read, Freddy eventually resurrects Jason's victims as deadites, and a huge battle between the three icons commences. I am dying - DYING - to read these. Seriously, I'm dying inside.

Buy it! And buy me one too! :p

There are several more books based upon the Friday the 13th series, and it would be impossible to go through every single one of them. But by following the links I've provided, you can probably find all of them.


#78 -- Skinwalkers (2006)

Director: James Isaac
Rating: 3 / 5

A lot of werewolves are very accepting of what they are. In fact, they not only accept it, but they embrace it; they love it. They love the feeling of tearing into human flesh; they describe it as being like a drug. They are addicted. But there are some other werewolves who do not see it that way. The see it as a curse, and all they want is for it to end. According to Native American legend, a half-breed boy will end the curse forever. Once the boy turns thirteen, he will have the power to end it all. A red moon will signal the coming of the boy's thirteenth birthday, and for one pack of werewolves, it is not a happy occasion.

Skinwalkers follows Timothy, the thirteen year old half-breed boy, and his family. All are werewolves except for his mother and a family friend. His family soon becomes a target for an opposing pack of werewolves who wish to kill Timothy in order to keep their animal-like lives. They do not want it to end, and they will do whatever they can to stop him from doing so. Timothy and his family must run for their lives in order to save him from those who wish to kill them; and also, to be able to lead normal lives. Many are lost on the way, sacrificing their lives in order to keep him safe. But will Timothy ever really be safe? 

I liked this movie. There was a good bit of action, though not a whole lot of gore. What was interesting was that the wolves in Timothy's family chained themselves up at night, so they couldn't get out and kill anyone. They're kind of like vegetarian werewolves. But it wasn't that they didn't want to eat people. The problem was that they did, and if they ever fed on a human, they would be stuck. They would become like the other Skinwalkers who embrace and love what they are, and they definitely didn't want that to happen. I liked this because it wasn't a typical werewolf movie, and they were actually werewolves. They were like wolfmen (the way they're supposed to be), and I like that. It wasn't the most wonderful movie I've ever seen, and the fear factor was practically zero. But the story was interesting, the characters were likable, and it was filmed beautifully. It's interesting and I'm glad I watched it. 


#77 -- Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1973)

Director: Bob Clark
Rating: 2 / 5

A group of thespians travel to a creepy island with their theater director, Alan. Alan, it seems, is not only into the theater. He also dabbles a bit in the supernatural. He dons a hideous blue robe, digs up a corpse from a nearby cemetery, and performs a satanic ritual in order to raise the dead. He wants to turn the corpses into his slaves. No one expects it to work, but of course, it does...Eventually. When the zombies do rise up, it's not all that impressing. They're not the best zombies I've ever seen, but I can overlook that. I have nothing against bad zombie movies. It's the complete uninteresting-ness that bothers me.

It takes an hour for the dead things to actually come to life. All the time up to that point is spent wandering around the island, bickering at one another, and overall being extremely boring. The characters really aren't all that likeable, and neither is hardly anything else.

There are three semi-interesting points in the movie. 1) The way Alan dresses. It's not that it's all that interesting; it just happens to be the most frightening part of the movie. He looks like he's in a bad '70s movie. Oh, wait... 2) Anya, a very strange girl who feels symathy for the dead. She's the typical "we shouldn't do this" type of character, only she becomes pretty creepy in the process. 3) Jeff, who pisses his pants after Alan pulls a very scary (note: it's not that scary) prank on him. He keeps repeating, over and over and over, "I peed my pants. I PEED my pants." It's funny and, luckily, he shuts his trap before it gets too annoying. So, if you're up for something completely mindless, check it out. But I wouldn't really recommend it, unless you're just a mega fan of badly made '70s horror flicks. It's not the WORST movie I've ever seen, but it probably comes close. It might have been better if the characters were given more likeable personalities, or if the pacing was a little faster. But as it is, it just wasn't my cup 'o tea. 


Chuckles the Clown

Oh lazy days, lazy days. When I first started this blog, I was watching horror movies every single day. Now, I hardly ever feel like. So, again, today is going to be lazy. I'm gonna share a picture that I drew, and a poem I wrote inspired by that picture. I've never been able to draw well, but I'm pretty proud of this little guy. It is extremely good, when it comes to me.

Chuckles is an evil clown who comes from outer space.
He came to Earth with one simple goal:
to tear away your face.
So when the blood begins to run
down your tattered skin,
don't be surprised when you find
Chuckles' evil grin.
He'll laugh and dance and sing funny songs
around your crumpled form.
He loves the way you screamed and cried
when your face was torn.
He'll laugh and laugh, and scream and wail
until his white face turns to red.
And he won't stop his mean charade
until you're good and dead.

This is all for fun, of course. It's not meant to be beautifully drawn or wonderfully written. Just something to pass the time. But either way, I hope you enjoy. :)


#76 -- House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Director: Rob Zombie
Rating: 4 / 5

If I didn't already expect it by his music, I would be shocked at how fucked up in the head Rob Zombie is. Of course, that's why we love him, so it's quite alright. I think he is a brilliant man when it comes to music, comedy and horror. And this is one of two movies that showcase that (the other being The Haunted World of El Superbeasto). I couldn't fully comprehend every aspect of this movie, but that didn't stop me from loving it. It is grisly and funny and just downright sick. It depicts scenes of murder, cannibalism, and necrophilia. What else could a girl ask for?

We follow a group of four friends who are on their way home for Halloween. They stop at a little gas station owned by one Captain Spaulding. If you're familiar with the movies, chances are you love Captain Spaulding, and rightfully so. Played by Sid Haig, Spaulding is like Eric Cartman: one of those assholes you can't help but love because he's so damn funny. He is a giant dick (not the good kind), but we can't hate him because we're too busy laughing. Spaulding has all sorts of creepy artifacts in his store, as well as a "murder ride," which depicts scenes of infamous murderers from across the country. It includes Albert Fish, Ed Gein, and Dr. Satan, a local legend. The story says that Dr. Satan worked at an insane asylum, and hoped to create a race of superhumans with his mental patients. He was arrested and hung; but his body went missing and was never seen again. The four friends want to see the tree that Dr. Satan was hung on, so Spaulding gives them directions. But they never make it to the tree.

They pick up a beautiful hitchhiker, Baby (the ever-lovely Sheri Moon Zombie), and all goes downhill. They soon discover that their friendly and hospitable hosts are fucking batshit crazy. But they're so obsessed with Dr. Satan, that the man of the house, Otis, agrees to take them to see him. But at this point, all they want to do is get out alive. They load the kids up in a coffin and lower them down into the ground. It is there that we finally meet Dr. Satan and his "creations." 

I can't deny it. This shit is weird. There are some scenes that seem completely disconnected to the main story, but they still kind of make sense. It is gory and the effects are done well. It is hilarious, because all the hillbillies are obscene and couldn't give two shits what the cityslickers think of them. Oh, and Fishboy of course, is amazing. Every time I see The Office (I say "see," because I don't watch it, because it's stupid as fuck, but I digress...) I have to laugh, because Rainn Wilson will always be Fishboy to me. Also, another point in the movie that I feel compelled to point out...At one point, Grandpa and Otis are watching The Munsters. It is the episode where Herman and Grandpa decide to be drag racers. I think we all know that their drag car inspired one of Rob Zombie's own songs: Dragula. Overall, I think House of 1000 Corpses is a great movie. If you're fucked up in the head you will definitely enjoy it. If you're not...Well, get the fuck out 'cause we don't take too kindly to normal folks around here. 


In My Eyes

I'm going to be lazy today. That seems to be happening a lot lately. But today I will share another one of my little poems with you guys.

In My Eyes

Dedicated to my beautiful and wonderful husband, Jason Voorhees.

It was a cold dark night and I had lost my way
Not a single part of me wanted to get away
The moon was full and the wind, it howled
What a perfect night to be disemboweled

Oh, evil eyes; filled with rage for humankind
Oh, hands so strong; to kill me off won’t take long

He was coming for me, axe in hand
I needn’t be here in his precious land
I should have run, but there was no fear
There was reason for my being here

Oh, kill me fast; make it slow and make it last
Oh, rip out my heart; play with it, shred it, rip it apart

I felt my life slowly slipping away
What a beautiful glorious day
I was just a number making his body count rise
But I’m sure he’d seen love in my helpless little eyes


#75 -- Ginger Snaps: Unleashed (2004)

Director: Brett Sullivan
Rating: 3 / 5

This movie picks up where Ginger Snaps left off. It doesn't make much sense for this movie to also be called Ginger Snaps (except, of course, because it's part of a series). Ginger already snapped, and Ginger is dead (she appears to Brigitte through hallucinations, though). It would make more sense for this one to be called Brigitte Snaps, but I guess that just doesn't sound as cool. If you remember the first movie, you know that Brigitte was infected by Ginger's blood, and she is now fighting her own change. She keeps shooting the Monkshood (the cure she found in the first movie) into her veins, but she learns that it only slows the transformation; it doesn't stop it. And to top all of that off, there is another werewolf hunting Brigitte down. She runs, but he always finds her. What does he want? Well, he wants to mate with her.

Brigitte ends up being admitted into a mental facility/rehab, and without her Munkshood, the other residents are in danger. Luckily, she gets help from a fellow patient, Ghost (who is staying at the hospital with her badly burned grandmother), to escape. They go back to Ghost's home, set traps for the monster hunting Brigitte, and try to keep Brigitte under control. But we soon learn that Ghost has more than a few mental issues, and Brigitte doesn't exactly get the ending that she'd hoped for.

This is a good installment to the Ginger Snaps trilogy, and Ghost adds just enough of a twist without becoming irritating or stupid. In the first movie, in the first stages of Ginger's transformation, Ginger was quite sexy. Brigitte, however, is just nasty. She does not make a pretty werewolf, but I think that's what they were going for. She was definitely scarier than Ginger. While I did enjoy this movie, it just can't compare to the first, in my opinion. But if you're a big fan of the first, you definitely need to check this one out. The first one left us wondering what would happen to Brigitte after she killed Ginger, and this one answers that question for us. 

My First Blog Award!

I was so shocked when I noticed a comment stating that I'd won an award. I never thought I'd get one! I'm a huge fan of the German language, so I think it's fitting that my first award have a German title. :)

Liebster ("Dearest" in German) Blog Award!

I'd like to thank Annie Walls for giving me this award. I am very thankful for it. Annie is a funny woman with lots of good things to say, and you should most definitely head on over to her blog to see for yourself.

As a part of receiving this award, I must choose five blogs I enjoy to bestow it upon. So, here's my five:
1. LoliClown's Little Blog of Horrors
2. Two Gory Chicks
3. Jigsaw's Lair
4. Back On Line Back On Duty
5. Dr. Terror's Blog of Horrors

The Rules for passing on the award:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link to their blog.
2. Pass the award onto 5 blogs that have less than 200 followers.

Thank you again!


Friday the (not-so) 13th, Part 5

Jason has fought a lot of people throughout the years, and several have survived. But we don't really know what happened to them, so let's take a look, shall we?

Camp Crystal Lake Survivors: Then & Now

Alice (Friday the 13th)

Ginny & Paul (Friday the 13th Part 2)

Note: Paul may or may not have been killed. But since we never saw it, and it was never confirmed, I will count him as a survivor.

Chris (Friday the 13th Part 3)

Tommy & Trish Jarvis (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)

Tommy Jarvis, Reggie & Pam (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

Yep. THREE survivors.

Tommy Jarvis & Megan (Friday the 13th: Jason Lives)

This is the first time I've seen Thom Matthews (Tommy, as well as Freddy in Return of the Living Dead) outside of the '80s, and sadly I could not find a recent photo of Jennifer Cooke, who played Megan in Jason Lives.

Tina & Nick (Friday the 13th: The New Blood)

Rennie & Sean (Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan)

Steven & Jessica (Friday the 13th: Jason Goes to Hell)

I'll stop there, because there's really no point in going any further. The remaining films came out in the past decade or so, so the actors/characters really look no different. Just watch the movies and you'll know what they look like now. In ten years or so, maybe I'll come back and do then-and-now posts about the rest of them. But for now, we're stopping in 1994.


My Favorite Horror Characters

I don't really feel like watching any movies tonight, so I'm going to keep it simple with a couple of lists.

Top 5 Horror Monsters

5. Ghosts/Spirits

I'm not a huge fan of ghosts/possessions and the like, probably because I'm not a believer in the supernatural. It just seems too far fetched for me. But there are times, when a movie is done incredibly well, that I do end up liking them. I think 13 Ghosts is my favorite of these kinds (the remake, because I didn't much care for the original).

4. Vampires

There's something special about vampires. They're beautiful and seductive, yet powerful and deadly. There's something magnificent about a creature that you know is dangerous, but you are drawn to them for that reason. I think this makes them, possibly, more dangerous than any other - because, unlike killers or zombies, we don't want to run away from them immediately.

3. Killer Clowns

I was afraid of clowns when I was younger; now I love them. There's something extremely creepy about them. It's a creature that is supposed to be silly and make children happy. But here's one that's smiling while it's ripping your guts out. Eek!

2. Zombies

Mhmmm. I have always loved zombies. There is something incredibly sexy about them, even though they are completely disgusting. Their skin is rotting and falling off, and most of them are missing half their bodies. But somehow I'm attracted to them. Maybe I've got necrophilia-like tendencies in my subconscious. Who knows? All I know is that I will always love me some zombies.

1. Slashers/Serial Killers

Perhaps the only thing sexier than a zombie is a psychotic serial killer. Crazy people have always been sexy to me. The crazier they are, the more I want to rip their clothes off. I know, I have problems, but I'm okay with it. The man in the photo is Albert Fish, one of the most infamous serial murderers in history. If you know anything about this man, you know that he was CRAZY AS FUCK. No, I don't think he's sexy, but that's only because he's old. But there's something so awesome in the simplicity of a serial killer. They're not creatures or ghosts or undead; they're just crazy fucks who can't help but to kill people.

Top 10 Horror Villains/Monsters

10. Michael Myers

I know I bitched about Michael in my review of Halloween, but that doesn't mean I completely despise him. I know my friends will be surprised as hell to see him on this list, but I just can't leave him off. He's an important figure in horror, and since I understand that, I can't help but respect him. Also, I'll get some shit for this, but I like Rob Zombie's version of Michael much better than the original. I know, I know - please refrain from throwing rocks at me. But that's just my opinion. Rob made Michael into a more sympathetic character, and honestly scarier. So that's why Mr. Myers made it onto my list.

9. Leprechaun

I'm not sure this guy has an actual name, but Leprechaun works well enough. I know he's silly. But he's so funny, cute and fucking gruesome that I can't help but love him. Also, I love any and everything involving Ireland and Irish heritage, so this is nice for me. I love this little guy!

8. Tarman

I'm not really sure what makes Tarman so special. He didn't really have a giant part in Return of the Living Dead, being that he was just another flesh-eater. Or, in this case, brain-eater. Perhaps it is the fact that he introduced the whole zombie-screaming-out-for-brains thing. I'm not sure. But what we have here is basically a skeleton covered with oozy gunk yelling, "BRAIIINSSS!" every time he is on screen. I don't know what makes him special, but he is very special indeed.

7. Pennywise the Dancing Clown

I don't usually like adaptations of Stephen King's books, but this one is different. It's probably because I saw the movie well before I ever read the book. But either way...IT is my all-time favorite book, and one of my favorite movies. I do believe they did a pretty good job with it, especially compared to some others I've seen. Pennywise the Dancing Clown - in book OR movie form - is creepy as hell. And funny! The only hard part is figuring out which way Tim Curry is more frightening.

6. Chucky/Charles Lee Ray

Most killer dolls are lame as shit, and all the ones I've seen cannot hold a candle to our dear Chucky. He's so cute, yet he's so fucked up and vicious. And as a redhead myself, I'm glad to see one who quit taking shit and got his revenge. Of course, that wasn't his motive, but still. It's nice to see a vicious, fucked up redhead that no one would fuck with.

5. Ghostface

I love Scream. It's nice to see that, in my generation, a good horror movie can still be made. It is simple and wonderful. And Ghostface is amazing. "What's your favorite scary movie?" I think it's great that he quizzes his victims before killing them, and I can only hope that when he decides to call my house, I'll be informed enough to live.

4. Toxie

Okay, he's not a villain. But he is a monster from a somewhat-horror movie. He is the monster hero, and we need to have a good guy among all these assholes, right? I think so. I love Toxie because he was a goofy, nerdy nobody who was turned into a deformed creature. Or as he says in the movie: "A hideously deformed creature with superhuman size and strength." Or, we can go with the tagline of the novel: "He was 98 pounds of solid nerd until he became The Toxic Avenger." Either way, Toxie is the shit.

3. Victor Crowley

Hatchet is wonderful in this day and age because, like Scream, it goes back to the simplicity of horror movies of old. Well, not that old. It calls itself old-school horror, because it uses the formula from the '80s movies I love so much. And Victor Crowley is such a sympathetic villain that I can't help but love him and want to give him lots of hugs. Plus, he's played by Kane Hodder. I mean, come on! How can I not love him?

2. Freddy Kreuger

Of course, the dream demon Freddy Kreuger could not possibly be left out. NOES is an amazing series, because it literally could have gone ANYWHERE. There's nothing they couldn't do with the movies, the kills or Freddy himself. The thing we love most about Freddy is his sense of humor. He succeeds in cracking us up and scaring the shit out of us at the same time.

1. Jason Voorhees

No one saw that coming, right? Of course, you should be able to tell by now that I FUCKING LOVE JASON VOORHEES. I don't want to go too much into it right now, because I have plenty of time for that every Friday. But I will say this: I am absolutely certain - without a doubt - that I will marry this man one day. And we will have beautiful little mongoloid children and go on family killing sprees.