How To Be A Zombie - Book Review

How To Be A Zombie: The Essential Guide For Anyone Who Craves Brains

Rating: 5/5 - One of my new favorites!

Have you recently been transformed into a member of the undead? Feeling scared, confused, and don't know what to do? Then Serena Valentino's How To Be A Zombie is the perfect book for you. She will help you figure out what kind of zombie you are, and then guide you as you learn to cater to your own specific needs. She is very sympathetic toward the undead, and will give you unbiased opinions on what you should do to best survive through the zombie apocalypse. She covers everything from hunting, proper diet, and thwarting humans who wish to kill you; to fashion and romance. Everything you need to know about being a zombie is all right at your fingertips. You will learn about zombie books, movies and music as well. Everything the newly zombiefied might need can be conveniently found in this lovely book.


#92 -- Priest (2011)

Director: Scott Charles Stewart
Rating: 3/5

Yes, I realize this isn't exactly a horror movie; but it has horror qualities, so I'm including it here. First and foremost, you should know that these priests are not like the priests we know. They are superhuman warriors and vampire killers. Vampires have always existed, and they've always been a threat. Such a threat, in fact, that they started a war with the humans. The vampires were so quick and vicious, though, that the humans really didn't stand a chance. Until the priests were discovered, that is. Like I said, they were superhuman. They were trained in the church to become badass vamp killers. When the war was over, the remaining vampires were sent to reservations to live like prisoners. But of course, nothing evil stays buried for very long. So when our main character's niece gets abducted by vampires, he leaves the safety of one of the walled cities the church created in order to save his niece. He is accompanied by his niece's boyfriend, the sheriff in the "wastelands" (the wastelands are just away from the safe cities). I also think you should know that there are two types of vampires. There's the plain old vamps, which are nothing like we know them today. They're animal-like creatures with no eyes or noses - just gaping mouths with fangs. And they're pretty wicked. The others are called familiars, and they look human, except for the eyes and the fangs, of course.

This is more of an action movie than anything, but it does have that horror element of vampires. And the vampires are so vicious and awesome looking that it's just hard for me to keep this off my blog. Priest also had a very interesting explanation of how the vampires as we know them were born. So it stuck to the typical scheme of vampire movies, while at the same time creating its own twist, which I think was really good. I should also note that this movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic alternate world. While it is futuristic, there is also an element of antiquity too. It's old school, but it's technologically in your face. There is a lot of good action in this, and a moving story. The vamps are vicious, almost unstoppable, and pretty fucking awesome. And the priests? Who knew priests could be so badass? And I mean they are BAD ASS. So, if you like vampires, but you also like action movies, Priest is the movie for you.