#298 -- Madhouse (1974)

Director: Jim Clark
Rating: 4 / 5

This was another one of those, "Ah, fuck it" type of deals. I was searching through Netflix for a while and couldn't decide on what to watch. I happened upon this one, Netflix thought I might like it, and I knew that Vincent Price was in it. I was tired of looking. So I trusted Netflix, and used my instinct and the knowledge that Vincent Price fucking rules, and I settled on it. Turns out, it's a pretty great movie.

Vincent played Paul Toombes, a man who became famous by playing a character called Dr. Death in a series of horror movies. During a party for the movies, his soon to be trophy wife was brutally murdered and be-headed. Paul honestly didn't know whether or not he committed the murder, and this led to his being institutionalized. He was never convicted of the murder, he was released back out into the public, and then he was sent to London to start working on a TV show based on his old movies. He stayed with his old friend Herbert, as well as an old co-star, Faye, who had lost her beauty, lived in the basement and was obsessed with spiders. They started shooting the television show, and before long, more people started getting killed by a strange man dressed as Dr. Death. And Paul still wasn't sure whether or not he was to blame. It seemed like, any time Dr. Death was involved, he went into a sort of trance, and woke up with someone dead. But could there be more to the murders?

Vincent as Dr. Death

What I liked about the movie was the suspense factor. Usually, in older movies like this, there's practically none -- at least not for me. So I was pleasantly surprised to find that it's actually quite suspenseful and fast paced. In the beginning, it's obvious to everyone that Paul is to blame for the murders. But as the movie progresses, more people are added to the list, until practically everyone Paul knows becomes a suspect. I really didn't know who to blame for the murders, though I did have my suspicions. That was the fun in it. There was practically no gore whatsoever, and where it was present it was in very small amounts. It wasn't a gore fest, but it was exciting. The excitement came from the chase. It came from trying to figure out just who the murderer was, and if Paul was, in fact, killing people without remembering it. By the end, it turned into a full-blown slasher movie, with people running through the studio being chased by the Dr. Death style killer.

Vincent Price was wonderful as usual, but his role in this movie was kind of weird for me. Since he wasn't sure if he was the murderer or not, his character played out like one of the victims, which is strange. I'm used to seeing him as a villain, and this movie showed me that 'ol Vince really didn't know how to scream. Any time he'd find a dead body, he'd let out the weirdest scream I've ever heard. I guess he was used to making other people scream, and it all just sounded weird to me. But that's probably just because I prefer him as a villain. By the end of the movie, his old creepiness came back, and he ended things with a rather magnificent soliloquy that, for me, answered the age-old question "why in the hell do people like horror movies?" So, if nothing else, Madhouse was a learning experience. Now when people ask me that question, I have a definite answer for them, and I thank it for that. It's nice to finally understand my weirdness.

The killer Dr. Death

I'd also like to mention one Adrienne Corri, who played Faye, the basement-dwelling spider lover. This woman was creepy as shit, and I think she should have been the star of the show, rather than the fake Dr. Death (alongside Vincent Price, of course.) She could have been one hell of a serial killer, and he was pretty frightening. I really loved the character, and Corri played her extremely well.

So, despite the lack of gore, and Vincent Price's weird screaming, Madhouse is a wonderful slasher movie with bits of humor, a cool story, great actors, nice suspense, and a fast pace. It's great for Price fans, or horror fans in general, I say. Check it out. You won't be sorry.

#291 -- Phantasm (1979)

Director: Don Coscarelli
Rating: 4 / 5

I've heard things about Phantasm all my life. I knew that it has a pretty good cult following, and that a lot of people really dig it. Heck, one of my favorite bands mentions it in one of their biggest songs. So I knew that, at some point, I'd have to see it. I didn't know anything about it before - nothing at all - and I still don't know anything, really. I'm not really sure what to think of it, but I feel like that was kind of the point.

It follows a young boy named Michael. I'm not sure how old he was; he looked twelve, but he acted much older (and he drove a motorcycle), so I'm assuming he was somewhere in his teen years. His parents were dead, leaving him and his older brother, Jody, all alone. Instead of having his big bro take care of him, it seemed like Michael wanted nothing but to look after Jody. It was kind of annoying at first, because Michael followed Jody around wherever he went. It was like he was obsessed with him or something. To be fair, though, Michael said that Jody was leaving (to go where, I have no clue), so I guess he just wanted to make sure that he didn't lose him as well. And he ended up saving his life more than once because of this, so it becomes less annoying as the movie goes on. Anyways, Jody was at a funeral for someone who I assume was a friend, or maybe a cousin. This guy was killed by a woman (the same woman that almost killed Jody, if it hadn't been for Michael spying on them), but I think his death went in the books as suicide. Jody didn't want Michael at the funeral, since apparently their parents' funeral gave him nightmares. But, of course, Michael couldn't stay away from his big brother. He went to the funeral anyway, hid in some bushes, and watched everything through a pair of binoculars. While he was spying on the funeral, Michael saw something very strange: a tall, creepy man who could lift coffins all by himself. He took their friend/cousin's coffin away, to do things with his body that you'll learn later on. This Tall Man, after that, begins to follow Michael around for reasons unknown. I don't have a clue why he was so drawn to him, or exactly what his deal was, but it caused Michael and Jody a good bit of trouble. The Tall Man was a weird dude, for sure. Not only was he creepy looking, but he apparently felt no pain, bled yellow, and had fingers that turned into weird little langolier-like monsters when they were severed. That, and he had little munchkin slaves (dead bodies cut down to half their size and forced to do his bidding) that hid out in the funeral home and scared people away when need be. So, Michael, Jody, and their ice-cream-man friend Reggie set out to figure out just what the deal is, and to get rid of The Tall Man for good. Eventually, they end up in a back room of the funeral home, where the portal to The Tall Man's planet is. Yep, that's right, aliens.

The Tall Man!

I actually tried to watch this many years ago, and wasn't able to for whatever reason. This time wasn't very easy for me, either. This time, I watched it right after I got home from work at six in the morning. I kept falling asleep, then waking up and having to rewind it. This made the whole thing kind of hard to follow for me. I think a second viewing, later on when I'm not sleepy, would help me to understand things better. Maybe. No, I didn't really get it, but I think that's the point. I'm not supposed to get it. And that's kind of what I like about it. I know that there's this tall alien man who wanted to kill Michael and his brother. He had his little minions, and he did his thing, and who cares why he did it? I don't, not really. The movie was very fast-paced, with plenty of action sequences with exploding hearses, overturned ice cream trucks, and three foot zombies being all vicious. There was also a weird ball that could chase people around, and it had knife and drills and things attached to it, so it could do some pretty nasty things. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the sequels, to see just what the ball can do, because it didn't do very much at all here. There was really only one death scene and, even though it was pretty grisly, it left something to be desired. If these things could do such things to people, why the hell didn't they do them more often? Maybe the movie wanted to focus more on The Tall Man and his pursuit of Michael and Jody. Phantasm is definitely one weird movie, but hey, I like 'em that way. There were a couple of quirky moments that made it that much more likable too, like a rockin' guitar session with Jody and Reggie, and a very odd scene where Michael visits a grandmother/granddaughter fortune-telling duo. In reality, the scene was horrible. The girl couldn't act her way out of a box, and I seriously thought the grandmother was dead, until she started laughing when Michael left. It was an odd scene, but what happened in it later helped Michael out. And it was quirky, like I said. It didn't seem altogether necessary, but it worked with the rest of the story.

Did I understand everything that was happening all the time? No. Do I care? Sure don't. The entire movie felt like sort of a mythical tale, which means that, like I said, we're not meant to understand everything. In the end it raises the question of whether or not these things were actually happening, or whether they were all another nightmare brought on by Michael's witnessing a funeral. To me, the fact that it might have been a dream only cements the notion that I wasn't supposed to "get" it. Or maybe I'm just trying to justify the fact that I didn't get it all the time. I don't know, I don't care. What I do know, now, is why Phantasm has received such a healthy following. It's a weird, quirky movie with characters you'll like and a story you won't ever forget.

#289 -- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Director: Tobe Hooper
Rating: 4 / 5

Everyone knows Leatherface, his family, and what they're all about. Some are old-timers, who know everything based on the originals. Some are youngsters and know more about the more recent string of movies. But me? I didn't know anything. I'd seen that one remake in 2003, but I didn't know much about it, and didn't remember much after I watched it. This is the first time - yes, that's right - that I have seen where Leatherface began. The most I've ever known about him and these movies is about Ed Gein, the man on which he was based. He was very loosely based on Gein, and the real man was a much more terrifying thing. But I can see now how they drew inspiration from him to create this piece of cinematic history. I've always felt like such a bad horror fan, being that I'd never seen this movie which receives such high praise. Now I feel...strange, because I feel like I should have enjoyed it a lot more than I did. Not saying I didn't like it; just saying, it's not as great as I'd hoped it would be. I feel like it would have been better had I watched this as a child, with absolutely no knowledge of it, what it was based on, and with nothing to base my experience on. If that had been the case, I think I would have enjoyed it much more. But as it is, I found it to be an okay movie that I respect...but wasn't blown away by.

It was about a group of friends making their way to an old house. It centers on Sally and her brother Franklin. After hearing about a string of grave robberies at the cemetery where their grandfather was buried, they decided to go have a look and make sure his grave wasn't among the ones that had been dug up. After making sure that he wasn't, they went to the house where they spent many days as children. On the way, the picked up a strange hitchhiker who seemed more than a little bit insane. He told them all about his family that ran the slaughterhouse, cut his own hand open, and then sliced into Franklin as well. They kicked him out of their van, of course, but they - mostly Franklin - became worried that the man was angry and might follow them. Little did they know, that man wasn't all they needed to worry about. A string of events led them to a farmhouse that wasn't far from their own, and they met up with a family of cannibalistic redneck crazies. There was the hitchhiker, his brother (Leatherface), a man who I assume was their father, and their grandfather who looked to have one foot already in the grave. There was no group slaying, or anything of that nature, as by the time Sally realized what she'd gotten herself into, her friends were already dead and stuffed in Leatherface's freezer. She ended up having to face this family all on her own.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did not have much of a budget to work with, and it shows. But there were some interesting things going on here. I particularly liked the summery feel of things. It was bright, hot, and the sun flares on the camera made me feel like it could have been a vacation video. The way things looked, in that area, made it feel like there should be happy and fun things going on, which is always an interesting thing in horror movies. The contradictory tones - in the way things look, and the events taking place- immediately make the viewer feel uncomfortable. Leatherface was not hidden in shadows for the majority of the movie; he was drenched in sunlight. There was also something about how everything seemed so natural. You're not being forced into being scared here. Again, there's nothing hidden in shadows, nothing jumping out at you at opportune moments. It feels almost like a relaying of information. Like, here, this is what happened, no tricks, no gimmicks. Everything going on felt like a natural series of events, like these things were supposed to happen. The movie was very subtle in that way, also. The viewer isn't slapped in the face with any of its so-called "scary" things, but we're left to simply feel them.

Texas Chainsaw isn't a blood-drenched horror movie, as some (like I did) might expect. It's not filled with gore and shocking murder scenes. What makes it scary is the mere knowledge of what is happening. Everyone outside of the group of friends was in on it. Everyone they met during their travels had something to do with that house and that family. That is where the terror lies: that no matter where you go, no matter who you meet, and no matter who you feel might help you...you're never truly safe. At the end, it can be assumed that Sally gets away. But there is no real resolution. She doesn't overcome the killers and get revenge on them for killing her friends. And that, too, is where the terror lies...in the fact that evil never truly dies.

Though all of this is well and good, and that subtle terror is something that many people love, I still feel as though things are not as I expected them to be. I had gone through my life knowing that the movies and the character are things that people in the horror community absolutely love and adore. I went all these years believing that I was missing out on something completely wonderful. But now that I've seen it, I feel like it was all hype. Though I can see where the brilliance in the movie lies, I wasn't as blown away by it as I figured I would be. I'm disappointed that it wasn't 100% amazing, as I'd expected. But even if I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped, I still respect it for what it is, and I understand why it's so beloved by my peers. Maybe as I continue on, watch the other movies in the series, and get to know these characters better, I'll be able to fully understand why everyone finds it so amazing. I look forward to delving deeper into this world that Tobe Hooper created.

#250 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 4: Black Christmas (1974)

Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Bob Clark


Contains light spoilers

I have always been interested in seeing this movie, simply because the idea was intriguing. It's a simple premise, but those usually are the best. Now, for the fourth day of Creepmas, I have finally done it. Usually, after I watch a movie, I like to read other reviews before I write mine. I do this because it often points things out that I didn't notice while I was watching the movie, and it helps me get a better feel for it. For this one, I read two other reviews, both of which were wonderful--and now I'm really not sure how I feel about the movie.

The idea is not something I'm new to, though it did come before the others I've seen like it. I will say that it's probably one of the best. It also predates those silly horror movie cliches that everyone's come to love, so it's a little bit different in some ways. First of all, the sweet virginal girl is the first to die, rather than the last. The bad seeds--the drunks, the neurotic, the pregnant and planning an abortion--are then left to fend off the evil. One thing you should know is that this movie does not rely on jump scares or excessive gore; it relies simply on your imagination. The kill scenes are limited, but that's not really a problem. The problem lies in the characters and the lack of resolution. But that might not be a problem at all. Like I said, I'm not entirely sure.

The movie isn't really about Christmas. There are no Santa Claus or elf killers here. The events in question simply occur on Christmas, making the holiday very bleak for those involved. The girls at a sorority house receive obscene phone calls on a regular basis. They shrug it off at first, thinking that the caller is simply a perverted creep, or perhaps a prankster with a twisted sense of humor. But when one of their sisters (the sweet girl mentioned earlier) turns up missing, and a murdered little girl is found nearby, they start to fear that the phone calls might not be so innocent after all. Several of the girls leave to return home for the holidays, leaving only a select few to endure the horror that is to follow. One of those girls was Olivia Hussey, who would go on to play Audra Denbrough in Stephen King's "It." She is the main character, and the final girl, which is the first problem I have with the movie. She was okay at first, but when she revealed her plans to have an abortion, she made it absolutely impossible for me to care for her at all. Her boyfriend, Peter, wanted to marry her, but she would have none of it, for the same reasons that she wanted the abortion. There were still things she wanted to do with her life. I understand that, Jess, but you really should have thought about that before you opened your legs. It's your fault, not the baby's, you selfish whore. Ranting aside, there were other reasons I didn't like her as well. I imagine that she was absolutely terrified--or at least, she should have been--but I saw none of it. She seemed far too calm throughout the majority of the movie, up until she was notified that the caller was inside the house, at which time she really broke down and showed some emotion. I was really more interested in a girl named Barb, simply because she was funny. She was drunk almost the entire time she was on screen, and she told a police officer that the street she lived on was called "Fellatio." This led to a pretty hilarious scene inside the police station. But she suffered from a hangover and was a sleep for most of the movie. John Saxon also had a role as the lieutenant in charge of the case, and he did an excellent job as usual.

The phone calls the girls get from the killer are the most terrifying aspect of the movie. He refers to himself as Billy, speaks to a woman named Agnes who has a dark secret he wants no one to know, acts out sexual and murderous deeds in several different voices, and laughs maniacally as he's doing it. He also seems to know a thing or two about Jess, which leads us to our conclusion of who we think he is. But we're never given any insight into what he's thinking or why he's doing these things. We never learn who Billy or Agnes are, or of the secret in question. All of these things are somewhat implied and left to our imaginations.

Fairly early in the movie, we're given an idea of who the mysterious caller might be. We're actually pretty damn sure of who it is, and it makes us anxious for Jess to realize the truth. She does, eventually, but it turns out that we were all wrong. At the end, there was absolutely no resolution to the problems. The killer was never found; there were two bodies left in the attic, and they were never found either. Absolutely no one thought to look in the attic, either when their friend went missing, or when everything was said and done. I'm not sure what the point of that was. The movie ends with a shot of the house, the telephone ringing, and the killer once again talking to Agnes about their secret.

In the end, I think I agree with both of the other reviews I read. I do think there were some continuity issues going on here, and the movie was certainly flawed in areas. But I also believe that it was the crew's failures that gave it its charm. The implications and offscreen deeds are what make it scary. It is the not knowing that frightens us. Do I think it's the scariest movie ever made? No, certainly not. But is it an entertaining ride? Definitely. I've never been a huge fan of '70s movies (thought, to be fair, I haven't seen that many), but I can say that this is the best I've seen come from that decade, aside from Halloween.

Black Christmas is definitely a movie you should be checking out this Creepmas.

#243 -- Blood Shack (1971)

Rating: 1 / 5
Director: Ray Dennis Steckler

Take a look at the cover of this movie. Looks pretty cool, huh? Don't be fooled, though, because the cover is very misleading. It makes it look like there's going to be some kind of crazed psychopath, or inmate or something, but there isn't. No, nothing so cool as that. There's actually absolutely nothing good about this movie. Well, aside from the fact that it's running time is less than an hour, so we don't have to sit through it for too long.

Synopsis from IMDB: A young woman inherits a ranch that is supposedly haunted by murderous beast called "The Chooper."

I have no idea what a "chooper" is exactly, but I imagine it's a horrible killer that fails to elicit any fear whatsoever. The movie started out with a group of three friends who wanted to visit the so-called blood shack. The girl of the group wanted to spend the night to prove that the Chooper didn't exist, but the guys were too chicken shit, so they left her there. She was killed, after being warned by the caretaker, Daniel, who didn't know the meaning of a shirt. Daniel was annoying, to say the least. His sole purpose was to warn people to stay out of the house, and of course, to be shirtless. Sometimes he wore a jacket; but never a shirt. It wasn't just people who went into the house that got killed, either. They could just be walking in front of it, and a killer would jump out of nowhere and scream while pretending to stab them with some kind of pointed object. The effects were horrible, but I can't really blame it for that. It was  made in the 70s with a minuscule budget. That's not the problem I have with the movie. The problem is that it's boring as hell. All the kills are exactly the same, the characters are boring and/or annoying, and the main female character did a completely unnecessary narration that really got on my nerves.

Now you know everything you need to know about Blood Shack!

It doesn't help that at least twenty minutes of the movie are spent watching a fucking rodeo. Who wants to watch a rodeo; I mean, honestly? The ending was 100% expected, and it was some serious Scooby Doo shit. "I was just trying to scare you off because I want to buy your ranch," type of thing. Oh, but Daniel was sure to tell our main lady--"Still, if you go in the house, the Chooper'll getcha!" So, I'm not really sure if there was a Chooper at all.

I will say there were a couple of good actors in here, but they were two little girls. The rest were horrible and annoying. The movie has nothing going for it except, like I said, that it doesn't last too long.

#135 -- "A" Challenge: Are You in the House Alone? (1978)

Director: Walter Grauman
Rating: 2/5

First of all, I have no idea why this is categorized as horror. There's nothing even remotely horror-like present. It's more of a drama. It's a pretty good drama, but I'm not reviewing drama movies, am I? So I'll review it as a horror movie, and as a horror it was terrible. It's about a young girl named Gail who seems to have everything: a best friend (Allison) and a sweet and sexy new boyfriend (Steve). She's planning on being a photographer one day, and if you ask her teachers, she's well on her way. But everything changes when Gail starts receiving creepy notes in her locker. One says, "I'm watching you," and the other says, "I know where you are, you tramp." It doesn't stop there, though. She gets some creepy phone calls too. The first was just heavy breathing, typical prankster stuff, so she doesn't look too far into that one. Then the caller starts laughing maniacally. In one phone call he states that he is "getting closer," and the other he asks if she is--surprise!--in the house alone. One night, while babysitting for a neighbor, he shows up and rapes her. This is a guy that she knows very well (or thought she did), and since his family is powerful around town, there isn't much she can do about it. They won't lock him up, or punish him in any way. Gail's father is mighty pissed, and seriously considers killing the boy, but that wouldn't do any good either. Instead, Gail decides to prove that he did it so that he can be punished as he should. When she sees that he's decided to go after another one of their classmates, she sets up a hidden camera to catch him in the act of placing the threatening note in the girl's locker. He finds her and isn't very happy, but everything works out--sort of--well.

Like I said, this isn't much of a horror movie. It was made for TV, so it's sort of like a woman-empowering after school special. It's got a good moral story, and good lesson to teach to women: don't be weak and fight for what you know is right. The cast was great (and included a very young and not very nice Dennis Quaid), and the relationships between Gail and her co-stars were incredible. It was very believable; it just wasn't horrifying. I know you're thinking, "Hey! Rape is very horrifying!" Yes, it is. But at the end of the day, Gail (or whoever was playing her) could have a drink with her attacker knowing that he didn't do a damn thing to her. Rape is horrible in the real world. My point is this...there was no suspense. To me, it was obvious who the bad guy was the entire time; I was just waiting for him to come out and show himself. It was slow and boring, and if a movie is going to call itself horror, it cannot be slow. Or at least, the slow pace should go along nicely with the story. It didn't work for me here. If I had gone into this thinking here's a nice drama movie about a young girl overcoming adversity, I probably would have liked it. But I went into it thinking it was an older version of When A Stranger Calls (a movie that frightened me a bit). So I was expecting at least a little bit of bloodshed. I was waiting for some action that never happened. I was very disappointed in this one, and I think Netflix should remove it from its "horror" section. There's nothing horror about it. I should also point out that it was based on a novel, and I feel the story is much better suited for that. Slow pacing works in books, not in movies.

#77 -- Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1973)

Director: Bob Clark

Rating: 2 / 5

A group of thespians travel to a creepy island with their theater director, Alan. Alan, it seems, is not only into the theater. He also dabbles a bit in the supernatural. He dons a hideous blue robe, digs up a corpse from a nearby cemetery, and performs a satanic ritual in order to raise the dead. He wants to turn the corpses into his slaves. No one expects it to work, but of course, it does...Eventually. When the zombies do rise up, it's not all that impressing. They're not the best zombies I've ever seen, but I can overlook that. I have nothing against bad zombie movies. It's the complete uninteresting-ness that bothers me.

It takes an hour for the dead things to actually come to life. All the time up to that point is spent wandering around the island, bickering at one another, and overall being extremely boring. The characters really aren't all that likeable, and neither is hardly anything else.

There are three semi-interesting points in the movie. 1) The way Alan dresses. It's not that it's all that interesting; it just happens to be the most frightening part of the movie. He looks like he's in a bad '70s movie. Oh, wait... 2) Anya, a very strange girl who feels symathy for the dead. She's the typical "we shouldn't do this" type of character, only she becomes pretty creepy in the process. 3) Jeff, who pisses his pants after Alan pulls a very scary (note: it's not that scary) prank on him. He keeps repeating, over and over and over, "I peed my pants. I PEED my pants." It's funny and, luckily, he shuts his trap before it gets too annoying. So, if you're up for something completely mindless, check it out. But I wouldn't really recommend it, unless you're just a mega fan of badly made '70s horror flicks. It's not the WORST movie I've ever seen, but it probably comes close. It might have been better if the characters were given more likeable personalities, or if the pacing was a little faster. But as it is, it just wasn't my cup 'o tea. 

#73 -- Halloween (1978)

Director: John Carpenter

Rating: 3 / 5

Please excuse me for a few moments, while I become incredibly cliche, and review Halloween on Halloween. I would also like to warn you: I have never been a fan of these movies, so pardon me if I get a little bit bitchy with it. While I'm not a fan of the movie, I do respect it, John Carpenter and even Michael Myers for what they've done for the industry of horror movies. 

Now that all that's out of the way, let's continue. In 1963, After a young boy murders his sister, he is sent away to a mental facility for fifteen years. Now, in 1978, he returns to his hometown to continue his killing. The movie centers on a young babysitter, Laurie, who Michael seems to be drawn to. It's been a good while since these movies came out, and I think it's safe to say that every horror fan out there knows the story. But we'll just pretend, for the moment, that we don't know. So, why is Michael so drawn to Laurie? Why does he so desperately want to kill her? Well, it doesn't explain very much here: only that he killed his sister when he was a child, is very dangerous, and out of his fucking mind. 

Dr. Loomis, who looked over Michael in the facility, tracks him down to Haddonfield. He's the jumpiest doctor I've ever seen. His part is comical to say the least, in that he jumps at every little sound or movement. He reminds me of my chihuahua. Laurie is busy looking after two children, and she ignores their warnings that the boogeyman is coming. It is a mistake, of course, because she learns that the boogeyman is real - just a little bit too late. I only say boogeyman because that is what they call him in the movie. He's the most un-scary boogeyman I've ever seen in my life. Laurie is your typical stupid teenager, except I think she's stupider than most. Her best effort at hiding is to leave the bedroom door open, hide in a closet and tie the doors together. 

Michael was ruined for me when they had him cover himself in a bed-sheet, put some horrid glasses on his face and then strangle a girl with a phone chord. It is beyond stupid, and Michael is - in my opinion - the worst slasher EVER. His kills are slow, boring, and the action is seriously lacking. I understand that it was made in the seventies on a limited budget, and I will admit that it's pretty good considering. While the movie isn't too bad, I just do not like the character of Michael Myers. He is boring - simple as that. Again, I'm not a fan of the movie, but I respect it. I understand that I will probably get some shit for this, considering Halloween's huge iconic status - but I really don't care. I considered going easy on Michael, but then I realized that this is my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want. So poo on Michael Myers. Poo on him! I give this movie three stars simply because of the impact it had on horror movies in general, and because my dear Jason might not exist if not for this dummy. 

#43 -- The Gore Gore Girls (1972)

Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis

Rating: 3 / 5

If you're looking for a nasty film with dark humor, then look no further! A private detective and a cute, and apparently very horny, reporter are investigating a series of murders. Strippers all around are being brutally murdered one by one. The PI is a bit of an asshole, but the reporter wants his ass anyway. She constantly makes advances at him, and he constantly pushes her away. The investigator, Abe, is indeed an asshole - but he's no doubt a funny asshole. I'm not sure if he was actually trying to be funny, though. He reminds me of Willy Wonka; I'm not sure why, because he looks nothing like him. It might be the cane he carries around all the time.

Notable murders: A girl gets her ass beaten by a meat tenderizer; a girl is killed while blowing a bubble, and the bubble fills up with blood; a girl's nipples are cut off, and milk spurts from them.

Yes, it is brutal; it is violent. There is no doubt about that. But is it a good movie? Well, I'll have to let you figure that one out for yourself, because I honestly can't decide. The gore whore in me was quite pleased with this one. It was funny as well, as I'm sure it was meant to be. The murders end up being fueled by envy. Everyone's jealous of strippers. Right? At the end, the creators of the film bid us adieu with an obviously self-mocking goodbye. 

Phew. It was an interesting ride, and I'm sure some would stand screaming "Hallelujah, it's over!" Me? Well, as my three stars reveal - meh. It was okay. Nothing completely wonderful, but nothing too awful either. The gore, while nowhere close to being expertly done, was good and still quite disturbing. There are faces and asses being bashed in, eyeballs being gouged out, throats being slit, and...booby milk being poured into little glasses. I believe this movie is something only the 1970s could provide us with. So thank them if you want, or curse them if you must. But whatever you do - don't go into this expecting to see large quantities of hot, naked women. While it is a movie about strippers, there is surprisingly little of that. Many of the girls remain in pasties and all of them (excluding the one afro'd black woman) are too white to dance. And, I'll be completely honest here, they're not all that attractive. So don't see this just for the T & A, because you'll be sadly disappointed. Instead, see it for the humor and the head-bashing. 

#41 -- The Initiation of Sarah (1978)

Director: Robert Day

Rating: 3 / 5

Sarah (an outsider with telekinetic powers) and her sister, Patty, are starting college. They've both been searching for sororities. But when the popular sorority (ANS) chooses Patty and excludes Sarah, the sisters start to drift apart. Sarah joins a less popular sorority (PED) that has had an ongoing feud with ANS, and things start to get even worse. During Hell Week, the sisters of ANS torment the girls of PED, and they force Patty to join in on the fun. 

When a prank sends Sarah over the edge, her house mother, Ms. Hunter, convinces Sarah that she must get revenge, and she helps her harness and control her unique power. But Ms. Hunter isn't just a concerned "mother." She seems to be some sort of witch, or involved in a Satanic cult. During their initiation, Ms. Hunter gets Sarah to telekinetically "destroy" the sisters of ANS. She, somehow, causes Jennifer (the head bitch over at ANS) to age instantly. Ms. Hunter then tries to convince Sarah to commit murder - to kill one of her new friends. But Sarah will have none of it. SPOILER. She sets the maze (where they are conducting the initiation) on fire, and kills Ms. Hunter as well as herself.

This made-for-TV movie is entertaining in its own way. It is a bit reminiscent of Stephen King's Carrie (1976). The basics of it are the same, while it gives us its own unique story and characters. It makes us feel for the characters, though sadly lacks in the action/suspense department. I particularly liked Roseanne Conner's grandmother as the satanic house mother. It wasn't very exciting but, as I said, entertaining to an extent. This one also stars Morgan Fairchild as Jennifer, the snooty bitch at ANS. Though a beautiful girl, we feel nothing but anger toward her for her meanness and trickery. Initiation is an all right movie, though I wouldn't call it wonderful. It was fun for a one-time view.