#80 -- The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made (2005)

Director: Bill Zebub
Rating: 4 / 5

"Bananas are horrible creatures! They mutilate their prey!

No, I don't think so badly of this movie that I don't think it even deserves a title. That is actually what the movie is called, and rightly so. The director, who calls himself Bill Zebub, was going for a terrible horror movie. So don't expect it to actually be pretty good. He wanted it to be awful, and he succeeded. But I think certain people will like it, because I certainly did. It is completely horrible, but it's funny because of that. It starts off with a group of friends playing cards. The group starts dying off, by being killed - mostly - by bananas. One man slips on a bar of soap and busts his head open on the floor. Except it's not his head; it's a watermelon. There was no attempt to hide the fact that it was a watermelon, either. 

When all their friends die, Jeanne and Rocco (the hosts of the party) decide that there's no way the cops will believe that they didn't do it. So they go on the run. Along the way, the meet quite a bit of colorful characters. They meed a toilet paper mummy, zombees (zombie-like bumble bees with red eyes), a family of stereotypical rednecks, an alien with a raging hardon, a shit demon complete with corn-mouth, ghosts of slaves on the underground railroad, a baby-eater, and bunches of terrorists. America seems to be under a terrorist attack, so they have that to worry about that as well as running from the police. 

We also see a bunch of crazy people when Rocco ends up being admitted into an insane asylum. Jeanne gets turned into a giant, Rocco travels inside of her and discovers that she's pregnant. He aborts the baby with a lasergun. Jesus also plays a part in this movie, and I must warn everyone - IT'S BAD. If you're not into religious jokes, steer clear, please. Jesus happens to be a rapist, and tries to get jiggy with Jeanne. I don't want to go to much into this part of the movie, so as not to offend anyone, but it's pretty bad. Personally, I found it hilarious, but I understand that it will not be funny to everyone. There's also a horny werewolf, who changes at the sight of a bare ass (a full moon, ha-ha). Like I said, there are plenty of colorful characters.

The acting is horrible, the effects are horrible, the dialogue is awful. Everything is awful. There was practically no story to it, it made no sense, and you'll probably lose a few brain cells while watching this. Don't expect anything different. That was the plan when making this movie: Bill Zebub was intent on making the worst horror movie ever, and most will agree that he succeeded. Personally, I love movies that are purposely stupid. But it's not for everyone. Trust me. Proceed with caution. 

NOTE: This movie was actually remade in 2008 by Bill Zebub. I think he just wanted to make it a little bit better, but I'm not quite sure. Anyways, the remake seems to be a bit more popular than this one. It is practically impossible to find any sort of video or photos to go along with this movie (the photos I have up are screenshots from my DVD). If you do a google search, almost everything you will find will be for the 2008 version. So, it seems that this movie is completely dead. So, there is no trailer in The Trailer Park. I couldn't find a damn thing.

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