Happy Birthday

So, today is my 22nd birthday. Here's what I've done so far today:
1) I went shopping with my dad, to find my boyfriend's Christmas gifts. My dad bought me lunch at a yummy Mexican restaurant.
2) I came home to a birthday cake that my mom and cousin made for me.

My mom knows me well enough to make me a monster cake. I love her. :)

3) I tried to make some Christmas cookies, and I completely ruined them. The first batch was 100% BURNED, and the second batch...Well, something happened to the dough so that I couldn't even cut it with my awesome Christmas cookie cutters. I'm not sure what I did, but I'm still pretty upset about it. Explanation: I've been on a diet for the last month or so, and I've pretty much cut out all sweets. My boyfriend calls me the cookie monster, so you can guess that I FUCKING LOVE COOKIES. I was extremely excited to get a cookie for my birthday, but alas...I fucked up. Store-bought Christmas cookies, anyone?

4) Now...I'm bored, and desperately wishing that I had a cookie. My boyfriend is out shopping with my mom, and I'm watching my step-son play Super Mario Sluggers on the Wii.

PS. I really want a cookie. :(


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 13

So, it's the last day of Creepmas, and I'm fresh out of ideas. At least I lasted this long, right? Anyways, today I guess I'll share with you my plans for Christmas. It probably won't be too interesting, but I'm excited.

First of all, my eight year-old stepson will be coming to stay with us on the 22nd (the day before my birthday!). We'll be getting cookie dough and making Christmas cookies with him. Except I've kind of rubbed off on the poor boy, and he's loving zombies lately. He wants to make Zombie Santa cookies. We'll also be making a gingerbread house. I'm especially excited about this, because I've never made one before and I've always wanted to. I'm glad I'll get to experience that with him. And knowing the two of us, it will probably be a haunted gingerbread house.

After that, we'll be going to my boyfriend's sister's house on Christmas eve. We'll spend the night, and come back home to spend the rest of Christmas with my mom and dad. I'm expecting some horror-related gifts, because...well, my family knows me very well. I will post photos of those (if I'm right), and the cookies I'll be making with my little buddy. I'm really excited about this Christmas, mostly because of my newfound family. I think I've gotten some great things for everyone and I can't wait to hand out my gifts. It won't be extremely eventful, but I suspect I will have a great Christmas this year.

So, what are your plans for Christmas? Anything spooky going on? Or, like me, will you be spending a nice calm Christmas with the ones you love? Christmas is less than two weeks away, so I hope everyone's gotten all their shopping done. I know I haven't! But let me know what your plans are. Maybe some of you can give me some more spooky ideas. :)

In the meantime, remember....

Have yourself a scary little Christmas.

13 Days of Creepmas, Day 12

There's no doubt that there is a lot of creepy Christmas stuff in the world. Some of them I'm not sure are intentional. I've found some bizarre things throughout Creepmas, and I'd like to share some of those things with you.

Creepy/weird Christmas

This thing is creepy, and AMAZING!

Can anyone say "still lives with his mom?"

WTF? Is that a monkey raping a yeti? Just...what the hell.

Frankie wishes you all a Merry Creepmas

Living Dead Doll Nohell. She's creepy & cute. Look closely, and you'll see her pupils are snowflakes. :) They're all sold out at the moment, but you can check it out here.

Again...What the hell? And she's a red-head. We've already got a bad name, do you really have to make it worse?

This scares me more than it should, probably.

Zombie Santa says "fuck you" to Christmas.

I'm not sure why, but this Frosty, to me, is creepy as hell!

What do you guys think? Have you found any creepy Christmas cards? That's what I was looking for, but I couldn't find too many. I'd love to see some if you've found them!


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 11

Once again, I have more creepy Christmas music. This is a little bit different than the others, because the music is actually beautiful. I found it randomly through Google, and I really enjoyed it. It's called "Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas." Yes, that is the same title as the Tales From the Crypt Christmas CD, but this is very different. A pianist named Kris Knight takes classic Christmas tunes and gives them a sinister little twist. Not only is it creepy, it is incredibly beautiful music. The website allows you to hear clips of each of the songs, and you can buy the entire album on Amazon if you wish.

Go to scarylittlechristmas.com to hear this wonderful music.


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 10

Once again, I have some awesome Creepmas music for you. I have no idea who wrote/performed this song, but it is AWESOME. It's a nice twist to a holiday favorite, and I think all of you Creeps will enjoy it. Pay no attention to the video. Someone made a fan video for the song, and it's the only one I could find with decent sound quality. It's the song I'm trying to showcase. If you enjoy the video as well, though, that's fine and dandy.

Grandma Got Dismembered by a Chainsaw


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 9: The Tale of Zombie Santa

If any of you read my post about meeting Kane Hodder, you will know that I met a very interesting zombie in the parking lot. You will also know that this particular zombie quite resembled 'ol Saint Nick. And, if you know me, you will know that I thought, "Hey! I should write a story about that." And that's exactly what I did.

Read my story after the jump!

13 Days of Creepmas, Day 8

Again, I forgot about Creepmas yesterday. I guess I've just been too busy with Creepmas shopping to think about anything else. But here we are, and I shall post twice again today. First, I have another creepy Creepmas song for you guys.

Wednesday 13 - Buried by Christmas

Merry Christmas ho, ho, ho
I'll be six feet under the snow
Jingle bells along the way
I'm a dead motherfucker and I'm counting my days
I've been too naughty, I forgot to be nice
I guess violence is my vice
So check your list Santa, and check it twice
I'm a dead motherfucker all right

I'll be buried by Christmas x8
(all I want for Christmas is a custom fit casket with black velvet interior...Oh yeah, and a bucket of chicken.)

Seasons beatings and a jolly farewell
By Christmas Eve I'll be rotting so well
In a one horse open sleigh
Straight to Hell laughing all the way
I've been too naughty, I forgot to be nice
I guess violence is my vice
So check your list Santa, and check it twice
I'm a dead motherfucker all right

I'll be buried by Christmas x 8
(Santa, if you're out there, and you can hear me, your fat ass better have me a freshly dug grave)

I'll be buried by Christmas x 8

If you would like to listen, go here.


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 7: 4 Reasons I Think Santa is Evil

A few days ago, I posted creepy photos of kids with Santa. It is apparent that children these days think Santa is completely evil. But I have three reasons why us adults need to realize that they're absolutely right.

He's a child molester

I think the photo says it all. How do regular child molesters lure children in? They offer them things they want: candy, puppies, toys, etc. Why else would a big fat man crawl through your chimney while you're sleeping, carrying a huge sack full of toys for your children? Notice it's only the parents, or aunts and uncles, who give the children clothes for Christmas. Santa never brings clothes, because he doesn't want them wearing any.

He's a stalker

Okay, am I the only one uncomfortable with an old man watching me while I'm sleeping? There's nothing right about that. Yet Santa gets away with it, year after year.

Breaking & Entering, anyone?

Again with the chimney. I don't want anyone breaking into my house, especially if they're trying to rape my children. No thank you, Santa. Get your creepy ass away from me!

He likes hookers

I learned from the TV show "Manswers" that Saint Nickolas was actually the patron saint of hookers. Yes, Santa is the SAINT OF HOOKERS. It is said that he saved three hookers from...something, I don't remember. But the important thing is that there were three of them. Now you know why Santa's always saying, "Ho, ho, ho." Maybe he's out looking for them, and he thinks they're hiding in someone's house? He just figured the best way to get inside was to offer bunches of goodies to the little ones.

So there we go. Santa is evil. Anyone agree?


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 6

Today I have another poem, inspired by one of my Christmas-themed "Dead Babies."

Grandma Got Devoured by a Reindeer

Grandma got devoured by a reindeer
Walking home from our house just last night
The scent of the Christmas turkey lingered
And Rudolph knew he had to have a bite

Well Daddy said he's glad that she's a goner
'Cause she nagged him 'till he thought that he would die
Now that Granny's buried underneath the snow-pile
There'll be a smile on Daddy's face on Christmas night

Now Daddy's singing Christmas songs again
while the elves are all busy making toys
Everyone here is so full of Christmas spirit
I've never seen the North Pole so full of joy


#81 -- The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Director: Tim Burton
Rating: 5 / 5

I don't think I could possibly participate in the 13 Days of Creepmas without giving The Nightmare Before Christmas some attention. So, for the 5th day of Creepmas, I present a review of one of the best movies ever made.

Everyone knows Jack Skellington. And everyone who knows him loves him, I'm sure. He is hugely popular, and I think he always will be. I know he's definitely one of my favorite movie characters of all time. I know this is a horror movie blog, and this movie isn't exactly horror; but I'm going to review it anyway. I don't know; it might frighten some kids out there. For me, though, I was always terrified of the Gargoyles preview that came before it on my VHS. Anyways...becoming incredibly cliche in 3...2...1

Jack Skellington lives in Halloweentown. Like the North Pole, they spend 364 days of each year getting ready for their big day - Halloween! Everything's creepy and wonderful in Halloweentown once the day arrives, and Jack is in the middle of all of it. They have a ginormous celebration, and it wouldn't be complete without The Pumpkin King! However, Jack's getting tired of it. It is the same thing, year after year. And the Pumpkin King would like to do something different every once in a while.

So, as he's taking a depressing stroll through the forest, he stumbles upon several different portals - doors set into tree trunks. There is a portal for each holiday - Easter, Thanksgiving, Valentine's day, etc. But Jack is especially drawn to the sparkly green tree, and he takes a peek - only to tumble down into an incredible new world. Christmastown!

Everything is so beautiful in Christmastown. There is snow on the ground and smiling faces all around. Jack is ecstatic that he has finally found something different - different from all the gloom he sees back home. So when he returns to Halloweentown, he tells everyone about what he's seen and begs them to have Christmas this year instead. They get to work, busily making toys for all the children. Jack even has Santa Claus kidnapped so that he can get some inspriation. Not only does he have to worry about the Jolly Red Giant, but he has to worry about Oogie Boogie: the man who (along with three little spooky children) helped Jack capture 'Ol Saint Nick. Oogie Boogie captures Jack's true love, and he must save her. But that's just a bit of a side-story, so let's get back to the big picture.

When Christmas finally arrives, Jack gets back to Christmastown to deliver the presents. Only problem is that Jack's roots are in Halloweentown, and he made the gifts accordingly. The children are terribly frightened of the gifts they receive and their parents become worried. They begin calling the police and complaining, and eventually it is decided that Santa must die. Only Santa's trapped back in Halloweentown, and when they send out the cannons and guns, they're aiming straight for Jack!

I've been in love with this movie since I was a child. When I was about nine or ten, I would watch it every single day; I couldn't get enough of it. I think this, along with Friday the 13th, played a part in my love of spooky things. I think Tim Burton is somewhat of a genius. Though I haven't enjoyed every single one of his movies, he does create beautifully spooky things. The Nightmare Before Christmas will ALWAYS be one of my favorite movies.

13 Days of Creepmas, Day 4

I was so incredibly busy yesterday that I completely forgot to do my Creepmas post! I'm sorry, but I'm back on my game now. And to make up for it, I'll do two today.

When we were kids, did we ever realize how incredibly terrifying the mall-santas were? I know I always looked forward to having my picture taken with Santa, but maybe they weren't so weird then. I don't know. But kids these days seem terrified of them, and rightfully so. I think I would be too.

Creepy Santas

This one scares ME!

He's not really all that scary, but his mustache is!

"Be quiet. I'm about to eat your child."

I think one of the requirements for hiring a Santa should be that he NOT look like a child molester. Why has Santa, the most jolly man in the world, become so damn scary? All of these photos and more can be found at Creepysantahotos.com


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 3

I've gotten really into painting lately. So when I first heard about Creepmas, my first thought was to get some Christmas-y thing and paint it up to be...not so Christmas-y. I looked around for a while, and I found a cute little Snowman statue. So, I present to you: Frosty & The Zombie Kids

The texture of this thing was really weird, so it was actually kind of difficult to get the paint to stick in the right places. But I like the way it turned out, so it was worth it.


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 2

I'm sure everyone remembers a little show called Tales From the Crypt. I, myself, had a bit of a crush on the Crypt Keeper when I was a kid. I still think he's a cutie patootie. But that's not the point. Some might not know that the Crypt Keeper put out a Christmas CD. I own this CD, and it is incredible. So, here's a peek at the most awesome Christmas CD ever made.

Tales From the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

1. Intro to Album
2. Deck the Hall with Parts of Charlie
3. Juggle Bills
4. We Wish You'd Bury the Missus
5. Moe Teitlebaum
6. A Christmas Card for the Cryptkeeper
7. Christmas Rap
8. Intr to Cryptkeeper's Family Christmas
9. Cryptkeeper's Family Christmas
10. Twas the Fright Before Christmas
11. 12 Days of Cryptmas
12. Revenge of the Cryptkeeper
13. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
14. Should Old Cadavers Be Forgot

You can buy this CD on Amazon here. But for now, here's a Christmas treat for you all. My favorite song on the album: Christmas Rap.


13 Days of Creepmas, Day 1

So, Creepmas is finally here! I'm actually a bit nervous and worried, because I have no idea what I'm going to do for the last three days. But perhaps I'll figure that out before it gets here. Anywho, for my first day I will present you with a spooky Christmas song.

Zombina and the Skeletones - Chainsaw for Christmas

Last year my baby got me a game boy
I still haven't taken it out of the box, oh no
My family still gets me the same toys
They might as well be buying me rocks, oh yeah
Every year I sent the same list
first class to Santa's house
Every year I feel a little more sick
at the way Santa's messing me about

I want girl skin shoes
and a boy skin hat
I want the new Slayer album
and a couple of rats
But most of all...

I want a chainsaw for Christmas
I want a chainsaw for Christmas
I want a chainsaw for Christmas, yeah
'Cause I can give that gift to all of the world

I get the feeling we're gonna have some good fun
We'll have a party, party time, oh yeah
I hope my baby gets me a nail gun
and I hope he lets me try it out on his spine, oh yeah
I want an atom bomb
and a bald head wig
The Necronomicon
and some sandwiches!
But most of all...

I want a chainsaw for Christmas
I want a chainsaw for Christmas
I want a chainsaw for Christmas, yeah
'Cause I can give that gift to all of the world

To listen to this wonderful Creepmas song, go here