#216 -- Killjoy (2000)

Rating: 2.5 / 5
Director: Craig Ross Jr.

Let me explain to you how I choose the movies I watch, because the fact that I even watched this movie last night is really strange to me. If I watch something on Netflix or On Demand, I sift through the titles for about an hour until I finally decide on a movie. But in my room, I have a stack of DVDs in those little white sleeves. If I watch one of those, I choose it randomly. I don't even look at it before I put it in the DVD player, so I have no idea what I'll be watching until the movie starts. When I reviewed Slip, I mention two horror movies that I found a little bit similar. Those two movies were Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood, and Killjoy. So I find it extremely weird that, for the past two days, I've randomly chosen those two movies. So weird, in fact, that I felt compelled to share it with everyone, even though I know that no one cares. It is a phenomenon that cannot be explained, much like Killjoy himself. Was I excited about it? No, not really. I saw this movie many years ago, and I didn't particularly like it then (even when I was younger and terrified of clowns). I guess you've got to have a certain sense of humor to enjoy this; and I just don't have it.

Killjoy is the story of a boy named Michael. He and his counterparts are supposedly in high school, though they apparently have no parents, and they can live alone with their boyfriends. They don't seem like high school students at all, but that's another story, I guess. Michael had a crush on Jada, a beautiful, sweet, young girl. But Jada was with a guy named Lorenzo, a gun-toting thug who got extremely jealous. Though it was obvious that Lorenzo did not respect Jada at all, he didn't want anyone else even speaking to her. Jada warned Michael; she said that if Lorenzo saw them talking, he would kill Michael. Michael, of course, didn't heed her warning, and instead asked her to their upcoming dance. At just the right moment, Lorenzo showed up. He was angry, and he and his two thug friends beat the stuffing out of Michael.

Michael went home and practiced some black magic. He called forth one of his dolls--a little clown he called Killjoy--to come to life. Nothing happened. Then Lorenzo and his gang tricked Michael outside the safety of his home, kidnapped him, and took him out to the woods. They held a gun to his head, yelled obscenities at him, and scared the daylights out of him. That, supposedly, was their plan. Lorenzo said that the gun was not loaded, and his intentions were only to scare Michael. But, unfortunately for Michael, the gun actually was loaded, and he was shot and killed.

One year later, Michael's black magic started to work. A clown showed up in an ice cream truck outside of Lorenzo's place. Lorenzo had gone to be with his new lady, and his two thug friends were inside getting high. With a serious case of the munchies, that ice cream truck looked extremely inviting. Killjoy told them that he was an undercover drug dealer using the ice cream truck as a disguise. He beckoned them inside to see his merchandise, and they were instantly transported into another dimension, via a rainbow vortex of some sort. They ended up in a warehouse, where Killjoy took them out. One of them was burnt up, while the other was smashed by a car. Nothing too inventive. Killjoy did eventually catch up to Lorenzo, and he took him down as well.

A homeless man caught up with Jada, her friend Monique, and Jada's new boyfriend Jamal. He explained everything about what Michael had done. He'd gone to black magic because all he wanted was for Jada to be his girl. The only way he figure that was possible was to get rid of what stood in his way: Lorenzo. He was trying to make sure there was no one left except the two of them. The only way to get rid of Killjoy was to kill the doll that he had risen from.

Killjoy is interesting, I guess. But killer clowns are supposed to be terrifying; this one was just annoying. Ever since the first time I saw it, Killjoy reminded me of Michael Jackson. So he is what would happen if MJ decided to throw a circus at Neverland Ranch. (fun fact: Killjoy was played by Angel Vargas, who also played Tito Jackson in the Jacksons TV movie)  He was goofy, but not exactly in a good way. We know of other characters who can be silly, funny, and still be scary (most notably Freddy Krueger), but Killjoy is not one of them. He was trying his damndest to be funny, but he only came across as stupid and annoying.

The story is kind of sweet, I guess, but if you think about it...it really isn't. Michael came back from the dead so that he could ask Jada out finally. He did all of this to have a a girl who he wasn't even sure felt the same way. Personally, I'd make sure she loved me before I'd go to all the trouble. I'd make sure she loved me before I got myself killed for her. Because if she didn't feel the same way, then his affections were pointless, and he should not had died in those woods. He shouldn't have even if she did love him, but it at least would have had meaning.

So, did I love Killjoy. No, even though I really wanted to. Everyone knows that, once I got over my fear of clowns, I grew to really love them. I love some killer clowns, when they're done right. I don't love Killjoy, because he, to me, isn't what a killer clown is supposed to be. First of all, he's supposed to be menacing. When you see him, you're supposed to think, "Uh-oh, shit's going down," not, "Oh my, he's fucking retarded." They're supposed to be scary, or at least creepy, or something. They can also be funny, but that should add to their creepiness, not diminish it. The movie itself was silly, and the characters were dumb. To me, Killjoy just wasn't what it should have been and could have been. It was a silly movie that tried to be great.

Apparently, it has an audience somewhere. Somewhere, people responded to it, because it spawned two sequels that I have not yet seen. I can only hope this series took the opposite route of others, and got better as it went along.

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