Director: Griff Furst
Rating: 2 / 5
Mark Dacascos (yes, the host of Iron Chef) stars as "the last man on earth". Or at least, that's what we're made to believe. Some kind of apocalyptic catastrophe has taken place and he is the only one left standing. His wife and son have been killed, and he is surrounded by nothing but monsters. He is some sort of ninja or something, and he practices his ass-kicking moves in his super security home. He's even rigged some sort of device that alarms him when one of the monsters is close. Reading the synopsis, you'd think it would be pretty good. But...not so much. I was thinking, "Hey! Yeah, apocalyptic flesh-eating monsters!" But no.
Renchard (our "last man") receives a video instant message. He is so terrified because he has believed he was the only person alive. For the longest time, he refuses to answer it. So, we're subjected to the most annoying "beeping" for so long that we want to jump through the screen and strangle him until he sucks it up and answers the damn message. When he finally does, it is a girl. She is alone, and she needs help getting somewhere - somewhere that, supposedly, is free of monsters. So, he realizes that he's not alone. But he doesn't trust her. So he tells her no.
Meanwhile, he's placing bombs underneath the city. He's going to blow it up to get rid of the monsters. People throughout the city who have died...did they receive a proper burial? No way! He's left them where they were, and he talks to the charred corpses as if they're still alive. He even pays them for whatever he's taking from their stores. So, basically...he's gone completely batshit.
And then he receives a visit from two rowdy men. For whatever reason I can't remember, they force him to help the girl. So, they're off on a journey together to find her. Now, these guys are assholes. And they turn out to be his biggest threat - not the monsters. I wish they would've used the monsters more; I think this movie would have been a lot better. One of the rowdy men is killed by a monster. The other ends up almost killing Renchard, and trying to rape the girl. But Renchard and the girl get away safely, out of the city. And KABOOM! The city explodes while they're making out on a bench.
I did not like this movie. There was literally no excitement whatsoever. Like I said before, it could have been a lot better had they focused more on the monsters. Though I did buy it on a DVD along with seven other films, for only five dollars. So I don't know why I expected any different.
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