#15 -- Bio-Zombie (1998)

Director: Wilson Yip
Rating: 3 / 5

This one is definitely different from any other asian horror movie I've ever seen. I'm on the fence as to whether that's a good thing or not. 

We open with a scene done with a handheld camera, where two men are bootlegging a movie - the one we're watching - and complaining about having to take a dump. Then, we cut to our two main characters - Woody Invicible and Crazy Bee. They seem like assholes to begin with because, well...they kind of are. But you'll grow to love Crazy Bee. He sounds like a stoner, and he is silly as hell. I'm not sure if it was the dubbing that made him sound that way, or if that's how the character was actually written. But either way, it was entertaining. They work in the mall selling bootlegged movies. We also have Mr. and Mrs Kui, who sell cell phones. Mr. Kui IS an asshole - there's no doubt about it. Any time his wife says anything, his answer is "Shut up! What do you know, woman?" Then there are the two good-looking friends, Jelly and Rolls (Yes, Jelly Rolls. ha-ha). Loi, also known as "Sushi Boy", works at the sushi shop (who would'a thunk it), and is crazy about Rolls. 

We then cut to a couple of military men who've started working with Iraqis (who, they say, are the masters of weapons; even better than Americans). They've created a biochemically engineered zombie, with a tainted soft drink. One of the military men goes to check it out, and he gets attacked. The zombie breaks free and attacks all but one. The one left standing runs away, and as soon as he reaches the road...is hit by a car. And that car is driven by none other than Woody and Bee. They trick a police officer into believing that he is a friend and that he's had a little too much to drink. They then pour the tainted soft drink down his throat, and the rest is history.

They return to the mall. They need money, so they decide to rob Rolls. They sneak into the lady's restroom and ambush her. They put a mop bucket over her head so she couldn't see them. When they're done, they run away and act as if nothing happens. Rolls asks Woody for help in finding who robbed her, although she knows it was him and his friend. So, she offers to take him out to dinner in hopes of getting a drunken confession. But, the alcohol only leads to bathroom sex. The sex is interrupted by Loi, who comes in screaming "There's a monster in the men's room! He's been bitten. He doesn't turn into your typical zombie. He's still crazy about Rolls, and he ends up saving her life.

I actually watched this on my computer and took a few screenshots. I was so glad I was able to get this shot. This is Bee when he realizes that the security guard has been zombie-fied. I literally laughed out loud.

When Bee was bitten trying to save Mrs. Kui from a zombie, I almost cried. Woody talks to Bee afterward, trying to convince him that everything will be okay. Bee says that he made a birthday wish at midnight - that he could go see a movie with a pretty girl who likes him. He says that he doesn't want to be a zombie; he would rather die. He asks Woody to take a picture of him for his funeral, and requests that weapons be sent to him in the afterlife so he can kill the zombies before they have the chance to return to the living world. Woody ends up cutting Bee's head off - but he has to. He knows that is actually what Bee would have wanted.

I did like this movie. It was silly and made me laugh. It was different from other asian films I've seen, but I don't guess that's such a bad thing. Asian film-makers are definitely capable of creating original material, and that is why I love them. This isn't the best I've seen, but it's worth a watch - get your giggles with it. 

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