#259 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 13: Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

Rating: 3.5 / 5
Director: Michael Cooney

Okay, guys, this is it. It's the last day of Creepmas, and Christmas is drawing nearer. We've got a little less than two weeks to get all of our shopping and stressing done, and if you're anything like me, you've got a long way to go. But hopefully soon our bank accounts will no longer be completely empty, and we can get back to our lives. I don't know about you, but all of these Creepmas festivities have really got me in the holiday spirit.

Today brings us the sequel to the horror-comedy Jack Frost. This one is quite different from the first, because it's actually a lot more entertaining. It goes in a different direction than its predecessor, and I believe that was a smart move.

It's a year after the first of the Snowman killings and Sheriff Sam Tiler is more than a little paranoid. He's having to see a shady therapist and everything. So when a couple of their friends decide to get married on an island, Sam and his wife decide to go along. The first few murders are shrugged off, at least by the man who runs the place--who calls himself The Colonel. He tells everyone stories about shark attacks, but no one really believes him. A couple believe there's a murderer among them, but of course no one even considers the possibility of a killer snowman. Even Sam's friends, and his wife, think he's crazy for thinking of it. The only other person who sees the possibility is Agent Manners. Yep, that's right. The FBI agent who helped Sam out in the first movie is back. You probably thought he was dead, since he got stabbed in the face with a giant icicle, but you'd be surprised at what plastic surgery and an eye patch can do.

Now, at first, I thought, "Oh great, another Christmas movie set in a warm climate." I've gotten really sick of those, so I was hesitant when the movie started out. But Jack Frost is magic, and he's able to turn that tropical island into a snowy deathtrap. He freezes everything, makes it snow, and makes it possible for him to take his snowman form, rather than just a wiggling, talking carrot. Yes, for the first half of the movie he was nothing but a talking carrot lying on the ground.

Once everyone realizes that Sam was right all along, and that Jack Frost is, indeed, back from the grave they put him in, they devise a plan to stop him once again. So they load up some squirt guns filled with anti-freeze, and they create a trap. But no one knew exactly why Jack was able to return. The bottles he was trapped in were dug up, and some genetic experiments brought him back to life.

But they changed him. That, and the fact that, when he was melted into the anti-freeze in the first movie, his DNA kind of fused with Sam's. So this go 'round, the anti-freeze didn't work. Sure, it hurt him a little and kind of pissed him off, but he was still very much alive. After that failed attempt, Sam went a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs, and he wasn't good for anything for the rest of the movie--except mumbling to himself and looking like a crazy person.

When Jack swallowed some of the anti-freeze they shot at him, he choked a little and threw up a big disgusting snowball. They all took it back in their room and tried to figure out whether it was a normal snowball, or if it was Jack trying to play a trick on them. They tried melting it for a while, but it just wouldn't go down. They eventually realized that it wasn't a snowball at all, but it was an egg. A freaking egg! The egg hatched, and out came an adorable little Snowbaby. Yep, Jack Frost can reproduce this time. So not only do they have the giant killer snowman to worry about, but they've all his little evil offspring trying to kill them as well. It reminded me a little bit of Gremlins, because when the Snowbabies weren't killing people, they were just off getting drunk and having a good time. There was even one of them that had an icicle mohawk, which reminded me of Stripe, the leader of the gremlins. They were cute as can be, but they were pretty vicious too.

It took everyone a while to figure out how to kill them this time, but once they did...it was pretty damn hilarious. Turns out, when Jack's and Sam's DNA fused together, Jack picked up one of Jack's allergies. If that alone isn't funny enough for you...Just watch the movie, and the item that kills them will bring tears of laughter to your eyes.

Snowbaby!

And now...the best part. At the end, when the loving couple realizes it's officially their wedding day, they decide to have a little on-the-spot reception. They say some wedding-like mumbo jumbo, and then Jack pops up and says, "I now pronounce you...Totally freakin' dead!" If for no other reason, just watch the movie to see that one scene. It's probably one of the funniest things I've heard in a horror movie, and I've seen a lot of funny horror movies.

So there you have it. Jack Frost 2 is an improvement upon the original. Where the original was one of those kind of serious, but mostly silly types of horror movies...this one was just downright silly. It was funny, it had some blood, costume parties, a little side-boob, and it's a jolly good Christmas ride. My last day of Creepmas turned out pretty damn good, and I'm glad for it. I'd hate to end it on a sour note.

So Merry Creepmas everyone. Have a good holiday, be safe, and remember..."Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack gouged eyes out with candle sticks." So if you see some innocent snowmen out there this Christmas, they might not be so innocent after all.

#258 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 12: The Christmas Tale [Cuento de Navidad] (2005)

Year: 2005
Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Paco Plaza

Today brings us yet another foreign film, this time in Spanish. I found in on Fearnet's VOD, and I wasn't really sure what to expect from it. The synopsis it gave was that a couple of kids find a woman dressed as Santa out in the woods, and she turns out to be a robber. My first thought was, "that doesn't sound like a horror movie at all," but I trusted Fearnet, so I watched it. In reality, the majority of the movie really isn't horror. It doesn't start to even remotely resemble a horror movie until the very end.

So there's this group of friends: there's the sweet little girl, the asshole leader, the nerd (who happens to be obsessed with The Karate Kid, and wants to be just like Daniel), the sweet boy, and maybe some others that I can't remember. The most memorable are Moni (the sweet girl, played by Ivana Baquero from Pan's Labyrinth), and Tito, since they are the most relatable of the bunch. Moni is indeed a sweet little girl who tries to help out the prisoner as much as she can; and Tito is the comedic relief with his Karate Kid obsession and all. Anyways, they find this lady in a hole out in the woods. She's dressed as Santa, and she tells them a sob story about how she was trying to surprise her nephews for Christmas, took a detour through the woods, and fell in a hole. Two of the kids left to find the police, while the rest remained behind and try to help her out of the hole. While the two were at the police station, they saw a flyer that told them the lady was a criminal, so they returned without notifying anyone. They then decided to keep the woman prisoner, wait to see if there would be a reward, and then maybe turn her in later. But by then they knew that she had stolen two million dollars, and they wanted some of that cash. So they refused to bring her any food or supplies until she revealed the location of the money.

I must note that a couple of the kids were very into some movie called Zombie Invasion. Once, they decided to try out the "zombie ritual" they saw in the movie, to see if they could turn their prisoner into one of the living dead. So, when they returned to let her out of the whole (after making sure all the money was there), she was dead. Or at least, somewhat. She escaped from the  hole, and went chasing after the kids with an axe. The final chase scenes took place in an amusement park of some sort, which made it quite a sight to see:  this bloody, messed up woman chasing a bunch
of kids with an axe through a park. The kids knew from the movie that the only way to kill a zombie was to stab it through the eye, so they came up with several different plans on how to do this. Only one of them worked, of course, and it was pretty grisly. There were a couple of other gnarly scenes as well (most notably when the lady was trying to escape and her fingernail was ripped from her hand). In the end, the film-makers played a naughty trick on us viewers with a twist that I saw coming. But since I saw it coming, I thought it was too obvious, and I was sure they wouldn't go there. So when they did go there, I was equally shocked because I'd expected to not expect it. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

The Good 

I think all of the kids did a wonderful job in their roles. They played the roles of friends turning on each other very well, and they were very strong characters. It was a story of kids getting caught up in a bad situation that was mainly caused by their vivid imaginations. It also showed how children can be just as monstrous as adults, in the way that they kept her prisoner and practically tortured her until they got what they wanted. I think this was the most disturbing part. The "leader" of the group was the most disturbing, as he didn't seem to care whether the woman lived or died, and no child should ever show that sort of hatred.

It was a Stand By Me type of horror movie, in that it depicts children getting into a situation that children should never be in. In it, too, the children find smart ways to get out of the sticky situation without any help from adults.

The part of Rebecca, the robber, was played equally well. She was part dangerous and frightening, and part pitiable and sad. I wasn't sure if I should feel bad for her, or hate her and wish for the kids to kill her. In the end, I rooted for the kids because, after all, they're only children and I could never wish them dead. The final scenes were quite suspenseful, because as a viewer, I hoped desperately that all of the children (except maybe the leader, because he was a bit of an asshole) made it out unscathed.

The effects, though quite limited as there were no murders, were done well. The fingernail bit was absolutely cringe-worthy, and the make-up they put on Rebecca was great. She was played by Maru Valdivelso, who is quite a pretty lady. But Rebecca was horrid: ugly and scary, and definitely not someone you'd want to come across in a dark alley.

The Bad 


The movie was definitely slow. While they found Rebecca early on, it mostly focused on their interactions with her while she was in the hole. It was disturbing to see the way the children treated her, but there really was nothing else going on for a while. It wasn't until the last thirty minutes or so, when the chase scenes began, that it started to pick up and get really interesting. Yes, that's a problem. But the scenes leading up to that part were really good, and they succeeded and developing the kids' characters in ways that made me care about them. I do wish the action would have started sooner, but it only hurt my rating a little bit.

Everyone knows I'm a gore whore, so I'd like to say that I wish there was more blood to make it even more disturbing. But I'm kind of torn. Since the movie focused almost entirely on children (Rebecca and one police officer were the only two adults ever present), it's kind of hard to wish for more gore. Though I do think it would be easier to classify this as "horror" if at least one of the kids had been killed. Because, let's face it, kids dying is the most horrifying and terrible thing in the world.


I've never really watched Christmas themed horror movies up until this year's Creepmas. I've watched three foreign ones so far. I never realized that Christmas is pretty much a universal holiday. Everyone seems to celebrate it, everyone knows Santa, and everyone has their own little stories to tell about him. Sure, some are a little different, but he's always present, it seems. Just an interesting thing I've noticed that I honestly should have noticed sooner, probably.


Overall, I think The Christmas Tale was an interesting movie with good characters and a unique story to tell.

#257 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 11: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Jalamari Helander

Contains some spoilers

Today brings us another foreign film that focuses on the myth of Santa Claus. It's a little different from the last one I reviewed, Saint Nick, but at the same time it's very similar. The myth behind jolly 'ol Saint Nick is that he was actually a monster. He would punish naughty children by boiling them in a cauldron, or ripping them to shreds so that absolutely nothing remained. After a while, villagers grew tired of him, so they led him to his death by burying him underneath some ice. When winter was over, they dug up the ice block he was encased in and buried it underneath a bunch of rocks. In modern day Finland, that burial mound is known as the Korvatunturi Mountains. When a group of excavators unearths the ancient burial ground, they unleash with it a horde of strange beings.

The story focuses on a young boy, Pietari, and his father, a local reindeer herder. Pieterari and his friend witnessed the beginning of the excavation, and Pietari became obsessed with the legend behind Santa Claus. He did some research and learned of his evil ways, and when all of his friends started disappearing, he was certain that Santa had returned to punish those who had been naughty. His father found a sickly old man trapped in a wolf pit, and Pietari was sure it was Santa Claus. Later on in the movie, we learn that he was only one of Santa's elves, and that the real true form of Santa was far more disturbing.

I went into this expecting a horror movie and, if you've already watched it, you probably did too. That's what we were meant to think. But if you haven't yet seen it, don't be mistaken. It's not a horror movie. There are some elements of horror, though I'm stretching it a bit just so I can justify having it on my horror movie blog. It could be categorized as a fantasy/horror, but mostly it's just fantasy. It's almost child-friendly, if not for all the old men running around naked.

The Good

The movie was filmed beautifully, a trait I find pretty much synonymous with foreign movies. The scenery was beautiful, and it definitely looked good. The legend behind Santa Claus was interesting, but that is nothing new. I'm always interested in stories that take something familiar, and twist it up until it becomes completely foreign. The relationship between Pietari and his father was also interesting. You could definitely see love there, though they did seem a little distant, and I found myself feeling certain that the death of Pietari's mother had something to do with that (though they never relayed the whereabouts of his mother, I simply assumed). The "elf" they found in the wolf pit was certainly disturbing, and not only because he was a gross, naked old man. He didn't speak, hardly ever moved, and he piqued my interest.

The Bad

I'm going to start with something fairly simple. If you, like me, cannot stand animal violence (or carcasses) in any way, shape, or form, there are some parts of this movie you'll find offensive. One is the pig's head Pietari's father hangs up as bait for some wolves. The other is the rest of the pig, which Pietari's father hacks up in his barn. Another is the hundred-some reindeer that are slaughtered  which is the first sign that something in the village is amiss.
I understand that it's part of the story, and I'm not mad about it. But it was definitely something that I didn't want to see.

Old-man balls. If you're opposed to full-frontals, especially those of really old men, then..yeah, you'll have some issues.

And my biggest issue...The true form of Santa. I was so intrigued by this, and I so desperately wished to see it. When they finally discovered him, he was still encased in ice. It was huge, and the only thing we could see of it were the two giant horns protruding from it. Does that sound bad-ass, or what? I'm not sure what he was exactly, but I'm guessing he was some sort of giant, ancient Minotaur or something. Or at least, I'd like to believe that because Minotaurs are awesome (not as great as Centaurs, but great nonetheless). Unfortunately, though, they blow it up before we get to see anything. Huge disappointment.

Rare Exports certainly wasn't what I expected. It was marketed as a horror movie, and it was on all the Christmas horror movie lists...But it's more of a fantasy. That's where most of my disappointment comes from. When you go into a movie expecting something horrific, and you don't get that, you're bound to be disappointed by it. I think if I had watched it not ever having heard of it before, I would have enjoyed it more. That being said, it's really not a bad movie, and I'd definitely recommend that you watch it. It's a different look on the mythos of Santa and his helpers, and it's far from dull. There are some slow moments, but it will pique your interest enough so that you don't become bored with it. Just don't go into it expecting a horror movie, because you won't get it.

#256 -- 13 Days of Creemas Day 10: Silent Night, Zombie Night (2009)

Rating: 3 / 5

Director: Sean Cain

A Christmas themed horror movie, if done in the right way, can be absolutely fabulous, for the simple fact that Christmas and horror are not two things that are supposed to be together. Christmas and zombies should never be together either. Who would want to fight off hordes of the undead when they're supposed to be unwrapping awesome gifts? So, here I thought I was in for some good holiday/zombie fun. But I was disappointed when I realized that this one, like Christmas Season Massacre, took place in California. Ugh. I think Californians should be banned from making Christmas movies, period. Just because there is no possible way for me to feel Christmasy while watching it. This one plays out just like any other zombie movie, and there are hardly any references to Christmas at all. Oh, they tell us that it's Christmas time. We see some decorations, and there's even a fat zombie dressed as Santa (but he was killed way too soon, if you ask me). But other than that, it might as well have been the middle of July for all we knew. Besides that, though, it really wasn't a bad movie. 

I was disappointed in the holiday aspect of the movie, but the zombie parts were actually pretty good. A week or so before Christmas, the outbreak began. The story follows two cops, and the wife of one of them. They're trapped in an apartment, trying desperately to keep from being eaten. We do eventually meet a couple other survivors, but they don't last long enough for us to care. One of them happened to be Felissa Rose, who was Angela in Sleepaway Camp. Another was Lew Temple, who you might recognize as one of the wimpy prisoners in this season of The Walking Dead. Speaking of TWD, Frank, the main character here, realizes that there's a way to mask his human scent and make his way through the zombies undetected. But it's nothing so cool as spreading zombie gore all over himself, as Rick and Glenn did. Instead, he sprays himself with some sort of deer lure or something, which honestly is just stupid. 

The Good

For a low budget movie, it was made pretty well. The effects were good, and the actors did a good job in their roles. The zombies were all great, and they stole the show if I'm to be honest with you. They were very menacing and crazy, so I give props to them.

Just like any good zombie movie, it was full of love, loss, and betrayal. I always enjoy the movies that focus not only on the apocalypse, but what the situation does to its characters. We saw a husband and a wife almost fall apart, best friends lose respect for each other, and that friendship fall apart. There was a lot of distrust going on, but there was also a lot of teamwork and people helping each other out. 

The Bad

They had an interesting idea for this one. There were two different kind of zombies: the fast ones, and the slow, sluggish ones. This is an idea I've been waiting to see on the screen, since zombies should be portrayed   in a way that shows the different stages of decomposition. But they failed to expand on the idea, so it just kind of floated there with no meaning, which was severely disappointing. 

The ending was far too abrupt, and it left the only character we're really able to care about dead. There wasn't really any resolution. The zombies weren't destroyed, we didn't see a mental or emotional resolution really; no gaining strength after everyone else dies. Nothing. It just ended. It was like they couldn't figure out where else to go with the movie, so they gave us an ending that left everything to be desired. I see this so often, and I really wish people would just end their stories already. It's not a real story if it doesn't have an ending. 

It was just like all the rest. There really wasn't anything to set it apart from the five billion other zombie movies out there. And once you've seen one, you've pretty much seen them all. Every once in a while, you'll come across something that's different, but you have to really dig for it. This is not one of those. It had a chance with the different kind of zombies idea, but they let that fall dead with their characters. 

Last Thoughts

There was as much good in the movie as there was bad, which I'm not sure is a good thing. But like I said, it's not that bad of a movie. I've definitely seen worse. The most disappointing,

though, was the lack of Christmas. It claims to be a Christmas movie, it hints at it in the title, but we didn't get to see any of it. Overall, though, it's not bad for what it is. It's an okay addition to my Creepmas watch list.

#255 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 9: Saint Nick (2010)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Dick Maas

This little gem comes from the Netherlands, where Christmas traditions are apparently very different from America. I thought that, maybe, their traditions really were different, so I did some research. But it turns out that they're actually pretty similar. So, all in the spirit of the movie, I guess.

In 1492 (about the same time that America was being discovered, by the way), Saint Nick was invading villages and robbing and killing the townspeople. He had a group of henchman who would climb down chimneys to rob people of their goodies. But the townspeople had had enough of it, and they decided to rid themselves of their adversaries. They killed all the henchman in gruesome ways, before setting fire to Saint Nick's ship, killing whoever they'd missed. All of this happened on December fifth, which apparently was Saint Nick's birthday. Now, they say that if there happens to be a full moon on December fifth (which happens every thirty-two years), Saint Nick will return to kill everyone that he could.

The story follows a group of high school kids getting ready to celebrate the holiday season. They all know the "myth" of Saint Niklas, but only a select few actually believe it. The first to encounter the deadly saint is Frank. He and his friends were on their way to a party of some sort, dressed as Saint Nick and his henchman, when the real deal showed up to kill all but one of them.

Frank, the survivor, was blamed for the murders and arrested. He was able to escape with the help of a rogue police officer (who had encountered Saint Nick himself as a child) who had a plan to kill the old jolly man. Armed with a boat load of explosives, they set out to get rid of Saint Nick for good.

The Good

I really enjoyed this movie, so I think just about everything was good. The production values were fantastic. It definitely looked good, and the effects were splendid. I was really impressed with the effects, and the kill scenes were all amazing. The story of Saint Nick was interesting as well. When he and his henchman returned to Amsterdam, they still look as they did when they were killed: all burnt up disfigured. They practically looked like zombies, and the make-up was wonderful in that area as well. He was also very menacing and scary, and seeing him riding his beautiful white horse across rooftops was a wonderful sight to behold. The horse, as well, was somewhat zombie-like. The attacks it had endure were still plain on its body, making it quite menacing--though it was still very beautiful. Saint Niklas' weapon of choice was his staff, a long golden thing with a curly Q on top, which apparently had blades woven into it. He used it quite effectively, and it was a good weapon to use for decapitation purposes. The movie was definitely gruesome and bloody, something that I honestly wasn't expecting.

The Bad

I can't really say much about the actors in the movie, since it was dubbed in English and I couldn't tell much about their performances. The dubbing actors were not very good, though. Eventually, I started watching the real actors' faces, and I think I can say that they did a good job, but I can't be certain. I wish I could have seen it in its original language with subtitles, so I could get a real feel for the characters, rather than just bad voice-overs. But even as it is, I can deal with it. I really enjoyed the movie, bad dubbing or not.


So today's Creepmas entry was definitely better than the last.

I'd had this saved on Netflix for a while, waiting to watch it during Creepmas. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I thought the cover looked neat. I'm glad I finally got to watch it, and I found it highly entertaining. My suggestion to you is that, if you can, you should watch it with subtitles rather than dubbing. But if, like me, it's only available to you this way, you'll still enjoy it. I'd call this one of the better Christmas horror movies there are, and it should definitely be on your Creepmas watch list.

#254 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 8: Black Christmas (2006)

Rating: 2 / 5
Director: Glen Morgan

I have officially changed my opinion of the original Black Christmas. It was only a couple of days ago that I watched it, so it's still pretty fresh in my mind. I remember the problems I had with it, but none of those issues seem valid any longer. This just goes to show that a higher budget and better effects doesn't always make a better movie.

This is going to have some spoilers because I'm assuming, if you're reading this, you've already seen the original. If you haven't, then you should, and this review won't really ruin too much of the original for you. Okay, so there's sorority girls getting murdered. That much doesn't change. But it's different from the original in almost every other way.

Let's try something different today and make a list. So, here are the ways that it differs from the original.

1) I was on the lookout for the very first kill in the movie. In the original, it was the "virgin" character, and she was suffocated in her closet. I couldn't really tell which murder was supposed to resemble that one, except for..all of them. The only time someone wasn't suffocated was when they had their eyes gouged out. These two things did play a part in the story, though, so I guess it's okay.
2) You'll remember that, in the original, we knew absolutely nothing about the killer, Billy. And I mean, nothing. Aside from the fact that he was crazy, of course. But this one starts off with telling us all about him. So we really do get a look into his mind and memories, perhaps a little too much (most notably when he was raped by his mother, creating an inbred spawn that would grow up to help him kill the sorority sisters. That would be the mysterious "Agnes," by the way). Oh, and Billy had some sort of liver disease that caused him to be born with yellow skin. Does this play an important role in the story? No, not really. The only thing I could get was that was the reason that his mother hated him. Maybe. Or maybe they just thought he'd be scarier if he was yellow? I really have no fucking clue why they decided on taking that route. It honestly makes no sense whatsoever. But who am I to question their motives?
3) There was no red herring in this one. In the original, we were made to believe that it was Jess's boyfriend killing the girls and making the weird phone calls. But here, we knew right off the bat who was doing it. I did see something that seemed like an attempt to throw us off, but it was a terrible attempt and only lasted for two seconds.
4) It wasn't able to build suspense like the original one, I think mostly because we knew everything about Billy within ten minutes of the movie. They all had cell phones, and a caller ID, so when the phone calls came, they automatically knew they were coming from their friends' phones...inside the house. So there was no, "Oh shit, he's here!" moment.
5) In the original, Billy's phone calls were disturbing and terrifying. Not here. They consisted mostly of, "she's my family now," and "I'm going to kill you." Whoop de freakin' doo da. He did change voices occasionally, but it was nothing like the original. Where, originally, the phone calls were the most interesting and terrifying aspect, in this one I just didn't care. About anything.
6) They actually decided to check the attic for their missing friends!

Let's talk a little more about Billy, since that's really the only thing worth noting. So, he was born yellow, we got that. His mother hated him, and she hated her husband as well. She and her lover decided to kill her husband by suffocating him with a trash bag. Billy witnessed this murder, and so his loving mommy locked him up in the attic (which explains, I guess, why he decided to lock everyone up there.) One night, Billy's mom and stepdad were getting busy on the staircase, and the guy fell asleep. Angry, but still horny, his mom went up to the attic and got some from him. Nine months later, Agnes arrived. Mom loved Agnes, for whatever reason. When Billy realized that other children (including his sister) had a normal Christmas, while he was stuck in the attic, he lost his marbles and decided to kill everyone. He succeeded with mom and stepdad, but Agnes got away with just a missing eye.

Oh, another thing that's different: there are two killers. Yep. When you see someone get suffocated with a trash bag, that's Billy. Missing eye? That's Agnes' handy work. Agnes grew up to be one ugly bitch who looked an awful lot like a man--probably because she was played by a man. There were no cops. No John Saxon to save the day. Just Harriet the Spy, one of the "Mean Girls," and a bunch of other characters no one cares about. Even the "Barb" character, who stayed drunk the entire time, wasn't entertaining.

I now have a better appreciation for the original movie. Then, I thought knowing nothing about Billy was a problem. Now I see that it was better that way. Maybe if they had created a better character for him in the remake (one who wasn't yellow for no reason), it could have been better. I couldn't feel sorry for him; I couldn't be angry with him. I just didn't care. The only thing I could do is wonder why in the hell he was yellow. Seriously, what the fuck?

So, this is a remake I can honestly say was far worse than the original. But I'll give it some thanks for making me realize how good the 1974 movie was.

#253 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 7: Gremlins (1984)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Joe Dante

I saw this movie when I was a kid, and I never considered it a horror movie. It was more like one of those movies that made me want things that I couldn't possibly have. Other little girls had Disney movies, I had Gremlins. They wanted their Prince Charming, I wanted a fucking Mogwai. I even forced my aunt to name her dog Gizmo so I could kind of pretend. But alas, I still haven't found my Mogwai. I also never really considered this a Christmas movie, even though it did take place on the holiday. But it's on everyone's Christmas horror list, so here it is on mine.

It's about a boy named Billy who gets an interesting Christmas gift from his wacky inventor father. Daddy spent a great bit of cash on the little thing in a shop in Chinatown, just because it was different and he thought Billy might like it. Even though he was warned that, "with Mogwai comes great responsibility," he never even considered that the world (or at least their town) would almost be destroyed. So Daddy took little Gizmo home to Billy, explained the rules, and everything was fucked up. There are three rules for Mogwai care: keep it away from bright lights, do not get it wet, and NEVER feed it after midnight. The first rule is broken by Corey Feldman when he spills some water on Gizmo. When he does, two things happen. First, little balls of fur pop out of him and turn into other Mogwai. Second, it seems pretty painful for him, so it succeeds in making us feel really bad. The other Mogwai end up a little different than Gizmo, though. Where Gizmo is a sweet, adorable little thing, the others are little hellions and none of them like poor Gizmo.

The second rule of Mogwai care is broken thanks to an unplugged clock, when Billy things it's earlier than it actually is and feeds them all some fried chicken. Thankfully, Gizmo isn't hungry at that point, and he is perfectly fine. But the others? They turn into vicious little hideous monsters!

Mogwai are cute. Everyone knows that. Even if you're not entirely familiar with the movie, you've probably seen Gizmo at some point in your life. And you're not human if he's not the cutest thing you've ever seen. But once they turn into Gremlins, they're pretty nasty. And not only in their physical appearance;

Cuteness overload! 

they're little slobs, perverts and jerkwads. They're just overall bad seeds. Which, I guess, is why they decide to go around town killing people and fucking shit up.

The Good

I've already  mentioned it, but I can't say it enough. Gizmo is the cutest thing EVER. From his tiny little face, his tiny little furry body; to the fact that he likes to sing, watch old movies, and pretend he's a racecar driver...Everything about him screams, "Love me!" Well, we do, Gizmo. We most certainly do.

The Gremlins are actually pretty scary, and kind of funny at times. At one point, they invade the local pub, get shitfaced and act like hooligans. One of them even puts on a trench coat and flashes the bartender. Hoorah! Their kills are pretty cool too--like sucking a man into a mailbox, and things like that.

It's '80s cheese at its best. There are some graphic kills, some corny characters and some all around weird shit going down. It's everything we've come to love about the decade, plus a cute little creature that I desperately wish to own.

Everyone's heard the expression about Gremlins messing up all your machines. Well, this movie adequately explains it. I think I've got about ten million of those little buggers in my house, and they all focus on my computer. I wish they'd mess something else up for a change.

The Bad

Chill out, guys. There's just one tiny little thing. Once the Gremlins showed up, Gizmo pretty much stayed hidden in Billy's backpack. He was so scared, the poor little fella. I wish there would have been more Gizmo, because I love him so and it saddens me to say that he wasn't present enough. I think they should make a movie that is nothing but Gizmo in that little Santa hat, singing while Billy plays the keyboard. I would SO watch that.

What I learned

There are a few things I learned about the movie this time around that I didn't know to begin with. First of all, Joe Dante directed the movie. I never paid attention to directors until recently, and I wouldn't have known him when I was a kid if I had. But he directed a couple of episodes of Masters of Horror, so I was happy to see that I recognized him.

Second, and most interesting in my opinion--the voice of Gizmo was done by none other than Howie

FREAKIN' Mandel. I didn't know it, and for some reason, I find it extremely hilarious. I really have no idea, why, but it's funny.

If you buy any sort of animal from a creepy old man in Chinatown...Well, scratch that. The creepy old man actually refused to sell the Mogwai, but his grandson, apparently, just wanted to get rid of it. So, if some little Asian kid pawns a strange animal off on you, and he tells you that you've got to take special care of it...You'd better listen, because it might just kill you.

And Remember...

"...if your air conditioner goes on the fritz, or your washing machine blows up, or your video recorder conks out...before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds; 'cause you never can tell...There just might be a gremlin in your house."

#252 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 6: Wind Chill (2007)

Rating: 2 / 5
Director: Gregory Jacobs

This is another one that really doesn't have anything to do with Christmas. But when I googled "Christmas horror movies," this one was on everyone's list...So I added it to mine. I learned that, not only does it not have anything to do with Christmas, but it doesn't really have anything to do with horror either. Oh, except for the bad ghosts. My bad.

It's not a bad movie in terms of technicalities. It certainly looks good; it just doesn't play out very well. The concept is not new to...well, anyone, really. So the fact that it has absolutely nothing new to offer (which can still be done with scenarios we've seen over and over) is what makes it fail.

It's about a girl and a guy (that's actually what they're credited as; no names) who decide to drive home together for their Christmas break from college. Girl lives in Delaware, and Guy says he does too, but he ends up just being a stalker. Whoops. I spoiled the whole movie. Oh well. Anyways, since Guy doesn't know a damn thing about Delaware, including how to get there, he gets lost. He, for whatever reason (probably because it was the only way the writers could figure out to get them stranded), he decides to take a scenic route. As horror movie enthusiasts, we know automatically that this isn't a good idea. Nevermind the fact that no one even thought to plow this road to get rid of the snow, meaning it's probably not used very often. Which also means--shocker!--no one will drive by to see Girl and Guy when they're run off the road, trapped in their car, and freezing to death. Except for the ghosts of an evil cop, the people he murdered, and the priests that let him die. This is brilliant writing, don't you think?

Even though Guy is a stalker, Girl starts to have feelings for him. Their relationship really could have turned into something, which was my only real hope for the movie. But sadly, that just doesn't happen. There is an interesting bit of foreshadowing, though it leads absolutely nowhere.

The Good

The movie is actually filmed pretty well, showing that it had at least somewhat of a budget. It looked good. But there was really nothing good about the

story itself. Only the shadow of what could have been a great movie.

The Bad

The ghosts were boring. They weren't scary at all; besides the one who coughed up some sort of snake or something. But I'm sure that was just gross, not scary. The relationship between Girl and Guy could have been okay, if he had not been a stalker. He asked around campus to find out where she was from; he read her text messages to find out that she needed a ride home; then he pretended that he was also from Delaware so that she'd agree to ride with him. And she grew to have feelings for this guy? They were pretty smart, though, so I guess that...no, it doesn't make up for it. The pacing was slow. There were no scares. There was no resolution, or at least none that anyone would care about. The characters were impossible to have any real feelings for, and it was just a dull movie.

Okay, I'm going to do something I've been wanting to do for some time now; I've just never really seen a good chance to do so. But I think it's perfect here.

What I think should have happened

Guy shouldn't have been a stalker. They should have made him out to be an all-round good guy who actually was heading in the same direction as Girl. That way, maybe they could have maybe grew into a healthy relationship. And then, when he died (sorry for the spoiler...), it would have actually meant something.

The ghosts definitely should have been scarier. I mean, it's considered a horror movie, right? Well, scare me, dammit! They should have actually been angry and mean. They surely shouldn't have run into the woods anytime they were spotted.

They had a conversation during their drive about the difference between reincarnation and eternal reccurence. The difference is: reincarnation means coming back as a different person, species, etc. EC is returning to live the same life over and over. I think they should have expanded on this idea, and made what felt like foreshadowing into actual foreshadowing. We could have learned at the end that Girl and Guy were simply re-living something they'd already been through. Or Girl could have returned to the beginning of the movie to re-live the scenario. Something that would have made the whole thing worthwhile.

They also found a newspaper article about a couple that was murdered back in the 50s. This should have gone hand in hand with the eternal recurrence thing. Girl and Guy were that couple, re-living 50 years worth of pain and suffering. Not just learning about a whole bunch of accidents that happened on a snow-covered road that hardly anyone used. Big whoop. Shit happens all the time.

So, what do you guys think? Which one sounds like a better movie?

Anyways, even though I'm bashing the hell out of it, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen. It's not even the worst of my Creepmas movies. But I still feel like it could have been a whole hell of a lot better, and that's just downright disappointing. I cannot stand seeing a movie with so much potential that fails to live up to what it could have been.

Day six of Creepmas--meh. It was okay.

#251 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 5: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Charles E. Sellier, Jr.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Billy. His grandfather was a crazy old man who told him a scary story about Jolly St. Nick. He told him that Santa would only bring toys to the good children; but to the naughty children, he would only bring punishment. That night, Billy saw his parents murdered by a robber in a Santa suit. He and his baby brother, Ricky, were sent to an orphanage to live with a mean old nun, and Billy grew up with a severe phobia of the fat man in the red suit. When Billy got old enough, he got a job at a local toy store. He seemed fairly normal at first (and pretty good looking, I may say so); that was until Christmas time rolled around. His phobia had not diminished at all. When his boss asked him to play Santa for the children, things really got ugly. They put some alcohol in him at an after-work party, and Billy started to believe he really was Santa. He knew that he needed to punish all the naughty boys and girls. Axe in hand, he set out to rid the world of the bad ones, and bring gifts (terrible gifts, but gifts nonetheless) to those who were good.

This is another one that I'd heard plenty of good things about. It's been called one of the greatest Christmas horror movies out there. I know, I know--that's not really saying a whole lot, but it still had me intrigued. I will tell you, though, it's pretty damn good. If you're a fan of '80s slasher movies, then this one is right up your alley. Which is exactly why I liked it. There were some truly tense scenes (like Billy asking a little girl whether or not she had been naughty), some laugh-worthy scenes, and some genuinely funny moments (like a ten year old Billy completely knocking out a grown ass man). All together, it was a very entertaining movie.

The Good

The characters. There were several characters that I found interesting. First, and most obvious, was Billy. I'm always intrigued by the killers, so long as they're done well, and Billy's story was definitely a good one. He suffered a very tragic and traumatic experience at a very young age. He grew up with a phobia that almost no one else had. He was completely alone. It only took that one little thing to set him off and send him on a killing spree. Billy was a very sympathetic killer, which everyone knows I love. I thought that Mother Superior, who ran the orphanage was a good character as well. Though she was a horrible old lady, the part was played well, and she was truly disturbing--almost more so than Billy. It was this lady who helped Bill turn into what he became. She believed firmly in punishing children in order to make them behave. When he was a child, she would spank Billy with a belt, and she even tied him to his bed so he couldn't leave his room after he had a nightmare. She assured them that punishment was a necessary and good thing for a child. So, it's really no wonder Billy turned out the way he did. There was one other nun, Sister Margaret, who was a very good character. She was very nice to Billy. She stood up for him and tried to help him out on a daily basis. From the expressions on her face, I could tell what she was thinking. She didn't want to work for the evil Mother Superior; but she knew that, if she left, there would be no one around to stand up for the children. I was also interested in Billy's little brother, Ricky. He was a baby when their parents were killed, and we hardly saw him again throughout the entire movie. I was interested in how he turned out, which was partially revealed at the end, and it was spooky as well. It also hinted at a sequel, and I've come to realize that there are actually quite a few.

The kills. They were true slasher-movie kills: inventive, but sometimes kind of cheesy. Like strangling a man with some Christmas lights, or impaling a woman on the antlers of a stuffed deer (that woman was Linnea Quigley, by the way). Of course, they kind of show just how messed up Billy was. If he just wanted to kill these people, he would have just killed them. But he wanted to make sure they knew they were being punished. The gore, surprisingly, was not over the top, but it was done well.

The Bad

Some of the dialogue was cheesy, but that is to be expected. I had no problem with that. When Billy killed, he yelled "Punish!" at his victims. It was either that or, "Naughty!" Sure, it's funny, but really it only made him look stupid. He wasn't a dumb guy, though, so I'm not sure why they decided to make him speak like a neanderthal before he killed. It kind of took away from his scariness, though he wasn't really all that scary to begin with. So, really, the bad's not all that bad, it doesn't hurt the movie at all.

The movie was actually hated by many when it was first released, I think mostly because it depicted a killer Santa Claus. It was yanked from theaters, thanks to a bunch of tight-ass pissed off mothers. But it's really not that bad. The biggest problem I have with it is that it's not suspenseful. We know right off the bat who the killer is, so there is no wondering. No big revelation. The only thing we had to wonder about was how he would kill the next victim. But other than that, I say that it's a very well made movie, and a wonderful addition to my Creepmas movie list.

Day five of Creepmas went pretty well for me. I saw a movie I'd heard a lot of praise for, and I really enjoyed it. I hope your fifth day goes as well as mine.

#250 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 4: Black Christmas (1974)

Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Bob Clark


Contains light spoilers

I have always been interested in seeing this movie, simply because the idea was intriguing. It's a simple premise, but those usually are the best. Now, for the fourth day of Creepmas, I have finally done it. Usually, after I watch a movie, I like to read other reviews before I write mine. I do this because it often points things out that I didn't notice while I was watching the movie, and it helps me get a better feel for it. For this one, I read two other reviews, both of which were wonderful--and now I'm really not sure how I feel about the movie.

The idea is not something I'm new to, though it did come before the others I've seen like it. I will say that it's probably one of the best. It also predates those silly horror movie cliches that everyone's come to love, so it's a little bit different in some ways. First of all, the sweet virginal girl is the first to die, rather than the last. The bad seeds--the drunks, the neurotic, the pregnant and planning an abortion--are then left to fend off the evil. One thing you should know is that this movie does not rely on jump scares or excessive gore; it relies simply on your imagination. The kill scenes are limited, but that's not really a problem. The problem lies in the characters and the lack of resolution. But that might not be a problem at all. Like I said, I'm not entirely sure.

The movie isn't really about Christmas. There are no Santa Claus or elf killers here. The events in question simply occur on Christmas, making the holiday very bleak for those involved. The girls at a sorority house receive obscene phone calls on a regular basis. They shrug it off at first, thinking that the caller is simply a perverted creep, or perhaps a prankster with a twisted sense of humor. But when one of their sisters (the sweet girl mentioned earlier) turns up missing, and a murdered little girl is found nearby, they start to fear that the phone calls might not be so innocent after all. Several of the girls leave to return home for the holidays, leaving only a select few to endure the horror that is to follow. One of those girls was Olivia Hussey, who would go on to play Audra Denbrough in Stephen King's "It." She is the main character, and the final girl, which is the first problem I have with the movie. She was okay at first, but when she revealed her plans to have an abortion, she made it absolutely impossible for me to care for her at all. Her boyfriend, Peter, wanted to marry her, but she would have none of it, for the same reasons that she wanted the abortion. There were still things she wanted to do with her life. I understand that, Jess, but you really should have thought about that before you opened your legs. It's your fault, not the baby's, you selfish whore. Ranting aside, there were other reasons I didn't like her as well. I imagine that she was absolutely terrified--or at least, she should have been--but I saw none of it. She seemed far too calm throughout the majority of the movie, up until she was notified that the caller was inside the house, at which time she really broke down and showed some emotion. I was really more interested in a girl named Barb, simply because she was funny. She was drunk almost the entire time she was on screen, and she told a police officer that the street she lived on was called "Fellatio." This led to a pretty hilarious scene inside the police station. But she suffered from a hangover and was a sleep for most of the movie. John Saxon also had a role as the lieutenant in charge of the case, and he did an excellent job as usual.

The phone calls the girls get from the killer are the most terrifying aspect of the movie. He refers to himself as Billy, speaks to a woman named Agnes who has a dark secret he wants no one to know, acts out sexual and murderous deeds in several different voices, and laughs maniacally as he's doing it. He also seems to know a thing or two about Jess, which leads us to our conclusion of who we think he is. But we're never given any insight into what he's thinking or why he's doing these things. We never learn who Billy or Agnes are, or of the secret in question. All of these things are somewhat implied and left to our imaginations.

Fairly early in the movie, we're given an idea of who the mysterious caller might be. We're actually pretty damn sure of who it is, and it makes us anxious for Jess to realize the truth. She does, eventually, but it turns out that we were all wrong. At the end, there was absolutely no resolution to the problems. The killer was never found; there were two bodies left in the attic, and they were never found either. Absolutely no one thought to look in the attic, either when their friend went missing, or when everything was said and done. I'm not sure what the point of that was. The movie ends with a shot of the house, the telephone ringing, and the killer once again talking to Agnes about their secret.

In the end, I think I agree with both of the other reviews I read. I do think there were some continuity issues going on here, and the movie was certainly flawed in areas. But I also believe that it was the crew's failures that gave it its charm. The implications and offscreen deeds are what make it scary. It is the not knowing that frightens us. Do I think it's the scariest movie ever made? No, certainly not. But is it an entertaining ride? Definitely. I've never been a huge fan of '70s movies (thought, to be fair, I haven't seen that many), but I can say that this is the best I've seen come from that decade, aside from Halloween.

Black Christmas is definitely a movie you should be checking out this Creepmas.

#249 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 3: Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

Rating: 1 / 5
Director: Jeremy Wallace

Everyone who knows me knows that I love a good bad horror movie. But even I have to draw the line somewhere. The third day of Creepmas brings us this Christmas themed horror movie that is just plain bad. What drew me to it was the title. I thought it might be some good, silly fun. But I was wrong. The story is okay, but the movie is just downright terrible in almost every way imaginable.

It's about a guy named Tommy "Oneshoe" McGroo. Let me tell you a little something about Tommy's past, and this is the part that I think is actually good. In high school, Tommy was extremely unpopular. He was a poor kid who dressed badly and smelled funny. So all the other kids picked on him. One day, Tommy was kicked in the balls, and he had one of his shoes stolen. Since he was so poor, he wasn't able to get another shoe. Hence the nickname, "Oneshoe." Christmas wasn't far away, so he started writing letters to Santa, begging for another shoe. But, Santa's not real, of course. His parents knew he was a fan of pirates, so instead of getting a new shoe for Christmas, he got an eye patch with a bedazzled Christmas tree on it. So outraged by this terrible present, Tommy began killing people. Every Christmas after that, he celebrated by killing the classmates that humiliated him.

And that's where it stops being good. Tommy is not even the least bit frightening. He wears cut-off jeans, a wife-beater, a bandana, his eye patch, and of course, only one shoe. The movie followed a group of Tommy's classmates. They decided to hang out where they thought Tommy took his victims, wait for him, and take him out before he could kill anyone else. But the problem was that they were even stupider than Tommy. So, the Christmas massacre began.

The Good: Let's take a look at what was actually good about the movie. As I already said, I liked Tommy's back-story. It was sad, and everyone knows I love a sympathetic killer. I felt bad for the guy. Until I saw him, that is. I will also say that the gore effects were pretty damn good. Not in the "they were good for such a shitty movie," kind of way. I was genuinely impressed by them.

The Bad: Yes, those are the only good things about the movie. Now let's get to the bad. We've already established that the killer looked stupid and wasn't scary at all. The victims were a bunch of brainless idiots. They were grown ass people who acted like children, and one still even dressed like a ten year-old. There was absolutely no way to care about any of them, and I found myself wishing they'd all just die so the movie would be over with. The actors were horrible, the dialogue was awful and uninteresting. The characters' actions made no sense--like someone who can't hear a running chainsaw coming up behind them, but they can hear a twig snapping loud enough to shit their pants. Stupid. The setting of the movie also made no sense. It's supposed to be a Christmas movie, right? Well, it does take place on Christmas Even, but it's in a place called Christmastown, California. Ugh. So the sun was shining bright, the victims were hanging out at a freaking lake, riding on boats and swimming, so there was no Christmas feel to it at all. The only thing that can remotely remind you of Christmas is the jingle bells sound effect whenever Tommy struck. That's it. SPOILERS AHEAD! The ending was stupid, and it also made no sense. Everyone died, and Tommy ended up with a wife and a kid, even though he had a spike sticking out of his forehead and shouldn't have been alive at all. Sure, if he was a super-human killer like Jason or Michael, but that was never even hinted at. He was just a freak who wandered off into the woods and was never seen again. A spike to the brain should have definitely killed him. But no, he just left it in there while he was hanging out around his own Christmas tree with his new family. And why the hell would she marry a bloody man with a freaking spike in his face? Especially after he murdered her husband, and raped her to make their son...Makes no sense.

So Christmas Season Massacre is a shitty movie that makes absolutely no sense. It has very little to do with Christmas at all, and you should all steer clear of it. Day three of Creepmas turned out pretty badly for me. I hope all the rest of you are having better luck.

#248 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 2: Jack Frost (1996)

Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Michael Cooney

The second day of Creepmas brings us a Jolly horror movie that everyone's heard of; but this is the first time I've seen it. All this time I've thought it was this wonderful movie that everyone loved. I'm not sure if everyone loves it, but I don't. It's not that I hate it; but compared to yesterday's movie, it just isn't all that great.

It kind of follows the basic premise of Child's Play and The Gingerdead Man, which I reviewed a couple of days ago. It's about a serial killer named---you guessed it!--Jack Frost. He was captured by the sheriff of a town called Snowmonton (very original, right?) and sentenced to death. While he was being transported to wherever the execution would take place, the vehicle was in a terrible car crash. Okay, it really wasn't all that terrible. But when the car crashed, some kind of chemical was released that made Jack's body melt into the snow. It was a chemical that some crazy doctor was working on so that, during an apocalypse, humans could be resurrected as inanimate objects. So, not only did Jack melt into the snow, but he turned into a snowman. A killer snowman, that is! And to top it off, he was able to melt and re-freeze at will. As far as killer snowmen go, I've only seen one other, and that was in a movie that was so intentionally horrible that it really can't be compared to it. I guess Jack Frost is pretty good.

Once Jack is in full snowman form, he goes on a rampage, killing everyone in town on his way to find the sheriff and have his revenge. One of those townspeople killed is none other than a young Shannon Elizabeth. Her death, though, was the worst of the bunch. Jack melted into some bath water, and re-froze so that she was sort of stuck inside of him. He then bashed her head in on the bathroom wall. Other deaths--such as an axe shoved down a man's throat, a woman being strung up on her own Christmas tree with a star stuck in her skull, a kid getting his head cut off by a sled, and people getting stabbed with giant icicles--were much better.

Finally, the sheriff and townspeople remembered the story of Frosty the Snowman, and realized that snow can freaking melt, they figured that heat might be able to destroy him. Go fucking figure. So, armed with hair dryers and a furnace, they were kind of able to get the best of him. Except there is a sequel, so we know that he wasn't really killed. Of course, the best killers never are.

I'm fairly new to the Christmas themed horror movies, but I've already got a tiny list. The best, of course, is Nightmare Before Christmas (even though it's not a  horror movie, it still incorporates Halloween into Christmas, so it definitely counts here). Second on my list is yesterday's movie, Santa's Slay, and Jack Frost comes in at third so far. I'm looking forward to watching more and finding the best of the bunch.

Head on over to the Creepmas Blog if you haven't already, and check out some more Creepmas goodies.

#247 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 1: Santa's Slay (2005)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: David Steiman

Spreading holiday fear this Christmas...

So, Christmas time is coming again. While this means empty bank accounts for the most of us, it also means that the 13 Days of Creepmas is back. I had trouble finding topics for Creepmas last year, as I wasn't really aware of all the Christmas themed horror movies out there. This year, I'm going to try my best to find a bunch of movies to watch so my Creepmas can be more eventful and enjoyable. Head on over to the Creepmas Blog for more info, and to find all the other blogs participating. As for my first entry, I bring you a wonderful comedic horror movie about a killer Santa Claus.

Bill Goldberg stars as the evil Santa Claus, who happens to be the son of Satan and some girl named Erica. The myth says that, one thousand years ago, God sent down one of his angels to defeat the evil Santa. They placed a bet, Santa lost, and he was forced to spend the next thousand years being jolly and handing out gifts to children. But those thousand years are up, and Santa's back for some good 'ol jolly destruction. The story centers around a sixteen year-old boy named Nicholas, and his grandfather. Grandpa seems crazy, but has a secret that will prove very useful to the boy as he faces off with Santa.

Christmas is over when I say it's over!

The movie starts off with a family having Christmas dinner, when Santa comes down the chimney and kills them all. This family consists of Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart (from Urban Legend), James Caan (Elf),   and Fran Drescher. They're all killed in some pretty interesting and awesome ways, and I knew right away this was going to be a movie I'd enjoy. Fran Drescher's character had her hair set on fire, which I'm sure many people wished for back in her Nanny days, but I think it would have been more symbolic had something happened to her voice box. I'm not hatin', because I'll admit to being a Nanny fan...just sayin'. Santa's kills are definitely inventive. He uses pretty much anything he can get his hands on--like candy canes, flagpoles, stripper poles, turkey legs, Christmas tree-toppers, and exploding presents to name a few--and not to mention the fact that he could breathe fire. And it was Bill Goldberg, a big ass guy, so he probably really didn't need a weapon at all.

I didn't really know what to expect from it. The main reason I wanted to watch it was Bill Goldberg, and he most certainly didn't disappoint. He was funny and menacing at the same time, and very enjoyable. But I was surprised to find that it's one of those incredible "so bad it's good" movies; except that it's really not all that bad. It's just silly, but what can you expect from a movie about a killer Santa?
I really can't think of anything negative to say about this movie, other than I'm sad that I didn't watch it sooner! It was wonderful, and my Creepmas has gotten off to a really great start. Every Creeper needs this movie on their Christmas watch-list. So go watch it now, and get into the Creepmas spirit.