#130 -- The Video Dead (1987)

Director: Robert Scott
Rating: 3/5

Somewhere in the world, there's a television set that can only play one old, black and white movie called "Zombie Blood Nightmare." The television set is accidentally shipped to a writer, Mr. Jordan. It was supposed to go to a paranormal research facility, but as we know, mistakes will happen. Mr. Jordan doesn't like "Zombie Blood Nightmare," and unplugs the television. But it's no normal television, and it doesn't need the aid of electricity to do its dirty work. It replays scenes from the movie before a nasty undead man emerges and kills Mr. Jordan. Fast forward three months, and siblings Zoe and Jeff move into Mr. Jordan's house. Their parents are out of the country, and the siblings are getting the house ready for their arrival. A man named Joshua Daniels shows up at the house, warning Jeff of the evil television. Jeff naturally thinks he's full of shit and shuts the door in his face. Soon after, though, Jeff discovers the television. He watches Zombie Blood Nightmare for a minute, before the channel changes, showing him a beautiful woman. The woman talks to him, beckoning him; and then she emerges and begins to seduce Jeff. Before he can really get his jollies, though, she returns to the set to be murdered by a man calling himself "the garbage man." It is then that Jeff decides to flush his marijuana down the toilet. It doesn't take very long, though, for Jeff to realize that it wasn't the marijuana playing tricks on him. There are zombies all over the woods that surround their neighborhood, and Joshua returns later to help the kids get rid of them.

Apparently the best defense against the video dead is mirrors. Zombies don't like their reflections, and mirrors instantly repel them. Oh, and the zombies don't eat people. They just want to kill the living because...well, because they're jealous. They wish they were alive, and if they can't be neither can anyone else. That's also why they don't like their reflections: it reminds them of what they are. So, as Joshua informs Jeff, they're pretty easy to take down. You can take them down just like you would a regular human. Because they're convinced that they are alive, they will become big babies and freak out, thinking they're dying. When they're down, squirming on the ground, you can chop 'em to pieces with a chainsaw. I'm guessing any sort of sharp object would have worked, but our heroes chose a chainsaw. Unfortunately, though they may think they are living, they are most certainly not. So, chopping their legs off will do no good, because they will just come back later. Joshua and Jeff get themselves killed, leaving Zoe at the house to fend off the zombies on her own. She toughs it out, showing no fear, and invites the zombies into the house. After feeding them a little bit of dog food, she lures them into the basement with the promise of a night of dancing. Once there, she traps them, saving the neighborhood and perhaps the whole world. Or not.

This movie was a little bit--okay, maybe A LOT--lame. But that's what the '80s were all about, right? It wouldn't have been the '80s without a shitload of lame zombie movies. This isn't the best I've seen (Return of the Living Dead, anyone?), but it's not too shabby. The story is kind of stupid, but that's okay. The acting is pretty bad, but that's okay too. The zombie effects were hit and miss, and the gore was pretty much non-existent. But it was entertaining, and that's all that matters to me. I didn't love it, but I did like it. It kind of makes me want to tape a mirror to my television.

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