Directors: Lloyd Kaufman & James Gunn
Rating: 5 / 5
- Yet another example of why Lloyd Kaufman is a complete genius.
Main characters: Tromeo Que, and Juliet Capulet
All right, we start off with Tromeo (whose father, Monty Que, is an alcoholic black man) and Juliet (whose parents are evil). Tromeo and his friends love terrorizing Juliet's parents.
Because of a failing business, The Ques and the Capulets have been feuding for years.
Monty Que and Cap (Juliet's dad) are enemies because of something that happened in the past involving their film company, Silky Films. The two families harass each other, by throwing animal corpses into their houses, beating the shit out of each other, etc.
Tromeo and Juliet fall in love (whoah, what!? I'm so shocked!). Everyone is upset about this, especially her jackass of a father. Trust me. You, too, will grow to hate him.
However, Juliet is arranged to marry a man who works for a meat market. This man is completely emo. He freaks out over the smallest things and just about kills himself. He stabs himself repeatedly with a meat hook and beats the crap out of himself with the aid of a pig carcass.
But, of course, Juliet decides to marry Tromeo instead. Whooo, errbody's testy.
Juliet's mother tries desperately to stop them from being together. No, not because she's a bitch. Her husband is a complete ass to her, as well. But she definitely has good reason to keep them apart. I don't want to give away the surprise ending, so I'll just leave it at that. All the more reason to see this movie, right? Yes, I think so.
Also, perhaps one of the best parts of this movie is Debbie Rochon, who plays Juliet's nurse. She is pierced, tattooed, gay - and completely in love with Juliet. Yum.
This is a little while after they get married, and they're out together all day.
Juliet: Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Tromeo: Totally sucks!
Juliet takes this potion from a drug dealer, because it was supposed to make her fiance leave her. He sees her and, sure enough, jumps out the window.
Juliet: It's acne!
Tromeo, of course, doesn't care that she looks like a mutant pig from hell.