#153 -- Pot Zombies (2005)

Director: Justin Powers
Rating: 1.5/5

Imagine this: a couple of guys stumble upon some strange marijuana in the woods. The smoke it, and then they become zombies. They infect the entire town, causing a pot-fueled zombie apocalypse. A group of friends become trapped somewhere, hunted down by stoned zombies, and have to figure out a way to overcome this obstacle. They track down a soldier and learn all the secrets behind the strange drug that was created by the government/military/whatever. The soldier helps them and they eventually are able to get rid of the zombie infestation. Sounds pretty promising, right? Could be a pretty great addition to the Troma film roster? Yeah, well, no; because that's not what happened here.

I freakin' love Troma. I cannot stress that enough. They create the most amazing b-movies, and they are very high up on the horror-comedy food chain, if you ask me. I've said many times that I believe Lloyd Kaufman is a complete genius, and I will stand firm by that belief until the day I die. Thankfully, Uncle Lloyd didn't create this shitfest himself, though he did have a short cameo. This could have been really amazing had the right person got his hands on it, and I think that Mr. Kaufman should do a re-make and let it live up to its full potential. But until then, we're stuck with this crap. It did start off with a couple of guys finding some weird pot in the woods, and I think it actually was created by the military. They did smoke it, and they did become zombies. The pot did infect the entire town, but there was no group of friends who we're able to root for; there was no soldier or anyone of the sort. There was no resolution, no hero coming to save the day and rid the town of their infestation. The problem with this one was that it completely lacked a story of any kind. We saw a bunch of different people getting infected by the tainted marijuana, but we didn't know why. We never found out where it came from (or if we did, I don't remember), why it was there, or if there was a way to get rid of it. There was nothing except a bunch of unrelated people getting infected. They never connected to each other in any way. After they filled up the time with pointless zombie infections, the movie ended. That was it. To make it even worse, the zombies were horrible. They had gray skin and green glowing eyes. Yeah, their eyes glowed. But it wasn't even cool looking, because the glowing thing was animated in. It looked stupid. The whole movie was incredibly stupid. It did have scenes with little cartoon joints dancing around and acting silly. That was the best part. It had me laughing my ass off, though that might have been because it was really late at night and lack of sleep clouded my judgement. I'm not sure. But it's pretty sad when the only slightly redeeming quality was a bunch of dancing joints.

Like I said, I love Troma. And I love bad zombie movies. But this one was too bad even for me. I do like a little bit of story to go along with my zombies, and there was absolutely none here. And I mean zilch, nada, nein. It was completely pointless, and afterwards I found myself wondering why in the hell I wasted my time and tortured myself with this shit. I was truly disappointed because when I saw the Troma logo stamped on this movie, I had high hopes. My hopes were crushed, though, and this movie was not worthy of that logo. Oh, Troma, why have you betrayed me so? Don't watch this movie. If you want to lose some brain cells, just go smoke some pot. Whatever you see in the marijuana haze will be more interesting than this crap.

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