#85 -- Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood (1988)

Director: John Carl Buechler
Rating: 5 / 5

First and foremost: Happy Friday the 13th! You know I'll jump on any excuse to talk about my beloved, and here it is. Up until now, I've been doing my Friday reviews in order of their release, but I figured I'd skip a couple so I could do this one. Part seven happens to be my favorite in the series; I cannot get enough of it. So, here we go.

This story is about a girl named Tina. When she was a little girl, her dad hit her mom in an argument. She was so pissed, she killed her dad using telekinesis. Yep, we've got a fucking superhero on our hands in this one, guys. Well, now Tina's all grown up. But her mind's a little frazzled, so she returns to the lake with her mother and her psychiatrist - to exorcise her demons, I guess you could say. Tina actually turns out to be pretty badass.

Tina gets chummy with a boy next door, who is throwing a surprise birthday party for his cousin. But cousin doesn't show up, and Tina's having visions that tell them why. All the kids next door are just like any other teenagers from Friday movies: drunk, fucking, and fucking dumb. Tina gets upset and, while trying to use her telekinesis to bring her father back from the dead, calls Jason up from the depths of Crystal Lake. Tina tries to save all the other dumbshit teenagers, but what's a girl to do when everyone just thinks she's crazy? Her psychiatrist, it turns out, is not concerned with Tina's well being at all - he's just studying her abilities so he can flaunt them. So when get a saw-thing to his face, we're all pretty happy (I'm actually not entirely sure what that weapon was, but it was pretty badass).

I've heard people say that this movie sucks, because it's too "gimmicky". But what the hell? They were trying something new, and even if you don't like the whole telekinesis thing, you've got to admit this movies fucking awesome. And if you don't, well then, fuck you. Like I said, this is my favorite movie EVER, and here are some reasons why.

- This was the first of four that Kane Hodder put on the hockey mask, and he wore it oh so fucking well. The effects team did an AMAZING job, and I think Jason looks better than he ever did before or ever will again. Half his face is missing, you can see his spine and some of the bones in his legs. He's vicious and terrifying and I fucking LOVE IT. Not only was the look better, but the character was better. I know I rant all the time about how awesome Kane is, but I just can't help it. Jason's rage can be felt in this one. I think Kane himself was angry about something, and this was his way of letting that out. Way to go, Kane, way to go. I love it!

- There are some pretty badass kills in this one too. There are spikes to throats, big saw-things to faces, axes & machetes to faces, and a whole lot of other awesome shit.

This should say it all. Am I the only one with a dirty mind who thinks his face looks like a lady's no-no parts?

So, to sum it up. THIS MOVIE FUCKING RULES. It might be a little "gimmicky" but who the fuck cares? I think this is the scariest out of all the rest, and everyone who worked on it did an amazing job.

So rock on, Jason. Happy 13th, now go kill some fuckers for me.


  1. I'll agree with you on the badassness of the kills, they were pretty awesome. For me though Part VI is still the best. It wasn't so much the telekinesis that got me, but the fact that Tina was utterly useless. She could've actually done something with it, but instead decided to go with a tree root. Really?

  2. Haha, that's true. She could've definitely used it in more unique ways. But I guess, maybe they didn't want to take the spotlight away from Jason? I mean, he's got to be the most bad ass in the movies, right? We can't have someone outshine him.