MMM Day 4: #337 -- Monster from a Prehistoric Planet (1967)

Director: Haruyasu Noguchi
Rating: 3 / 5

First off, this title is a little bit misleading. Don't be fooled the way I was. I thought there was going to be some time and/or space travel going on here, and that we'd be dealing with some dinosaurs or something. But that's not the case. The "prehistoric planet" is an island...On Earth, in Japan. The original Japanese title translates to "The Giant Beast, Gappa," or something along those lines, and that makes a lot more sense. I guess they figured "Monster from a Prehistoric Planet" sounded cooler. Well, it definitely roped me in. That's not to say that it's a bad movie, but I was ready for some T-Rex action, and I didn't get it.

Synopsis: A group of explorers travel to said island to locate some exotic animals for their company's upcoming tourist attraction: an island/park called Playmate Land. They meet island natives who worship a god called Gappa that resides in a forbidden part of the island. Intrigued, the explorers venture into this forbidden area and discover an egg. The egg hatches, and out comes a baby lizard. They take the baby back home for research, and to get it ready for the park's opening. But that made Mama and Daddy Gappa very angry, and they went a'searching for their baby.

So, what exactly is a Gappa? To me, it looked like a giant pigeon with a tail. That could breathe fire. Since it was a bird-lizard, it had great homing abilities, and Mama and Daddy found their baby easily. Since this was a great discovery, the scientists/money-hungry-executives were all over it. So, when Mama and Daddy showed up and started tearing the city apart trying to find their baby, they refused to believe the solution was as simple as giving the thing back. Or rather, they just refused to give it back, because they'd lose money. They succeeded in scaring the two away for a while, and they retreated to the waters. Then, the idiots lured the things back up, thinking that they'd be able to kill them this time. When they were unable to obliterate the things, they finally decided to give the baby back.

At times, I found the movie hard to follow, because I felt like it jumped around a lot. Maybe it's just me. But I was still able to get the gist of things. Stupid people do stupid things, and Japan is destroyed -- as it often is. I liked the Gappa monster, though. It was definitely comical, and it reminded me of something I'd see on an old episode of The Power Rangers. I kept waiting for Megazord to swoop in and save the day. Despite the fact that there were no dinosaurs, or time travel like I expected, I still found it entertaining.

#332 -- Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Director: Guillermo del Toro
Rating: 5 / 5

Once again, I'm caught reviewing a movie that's not technically horror. IMDB classifies it as drama/fantasy/war. But I really don't give a shit what anyone else calls it. There are elements at work here that just scream horror to me. Besides, it's one of my favorite movies, and I'll review it if I want to, dammit.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, the princess of the Underworld escaped into the human realm. Having been in the dark for so long, the sun blinded her and made her forget who she was. Devastated, her father had portals erected all around the world, awaiting her return. He was certain that she would return one day; perhaps in a different form, in a different time. But she would return, and he would be ready to embrace her.

In Spain, in the 1940s, during war-time, a young girl named Ofelia moved to the countryside with her mother. They lived with Ofelia's new stepfather, Captain Vidal, an evil and malicious army captain. Her mother was with child and very sick, though Captain Vidal didn't care about her at all. All he cared about was having a son that would carry on his name (which didn't work for him). Vidal wasn't only cruel to his enemies; he was cruel to everyone he came in contact with, unless they completely obeyed him without question. Even then, they could never be sure that he wouldn't turn on them. With her mother being ill, and herself being surrounded by death and violence, it's no surprise that Ofelia longed for an escape. A fairy-like creature led her to a labyrinth out in the woods, where she met the Faun. The Faun told her that she was the long-lost princess of the Underworld, and that her father was awaiting her return. Before she could return to her throne, however, she would have to complete a set of tasks to prove that her soul hadn't turned mortal. The Faun gave her a magical book that would explain each of her tasks, and these tasks had to be completed by the full moon.

Pale Man

Ofelia's tasks led her on an incredible adventure, and she met some very interesting creatures. There was a giant toad living in the trunk of a massive tree; the fairy-like creatures I mentioned earlier, which were able to shapeshift and sometimes resembled stick-bugs. There were two creatures that out-shined all the rest. First, a creature called Pale Man, who reminded me of Lord Voldemort, with his flat snake-like nose. His eyes weren't in his head, though; they were in his hands. His body was disgusting, yet somehow compelling (he looked like a naked old man, thankfully not anatomically correct), and he was genuinely creepy as fuck. Then there's the Faun, who was an absolute masterpiece. He's based on the Pan of Greek mythology, which is obvious by the title. Pan was a goat/human hybrid in those mythologies, and that was taken to another level completely here. Visually, Pan's Labyrinth is one-hundred-percent stunning and beautiful. The story was incredible, and I liked how it stayed true to mythology while creating something completely different (like how Ofelia was not supposed to eat anything when she entered the lair of Pale Man, as with Persephone when she first entered the Underworld). The conflicting emotions of child-like wonder, fear, hatred, and love definitely made for a wild ride.

The Faun

To me, Pan's Labyrinth is a perfect movie. It has everything that a good movie should have: wonderful characters, beautiful cinematography, uniquely compelling and spooky creatures; suspense, and scenes that will make you genuinely worry about the characters you've come to love. It is a very dark fairy tale that is both beautiful and frightening.

Fun fact: Some of you might already know this, but I certainly did it. Doug Jones, who played both The Faun and Pale Man, also played Abe in the Hellboy series. I think this guy has a knack for portraying fantastical and awesome creatures.

#317 -- Ringu (1998)

Director: Hideo Nakata
Rating: 3 / 5

I have a confession to make. Sometimes, I like to pretend I'm cool because I watch foreign movies. But truthfully, sometimes I just don't get them. For the most part, I do really enjoy Asian horror movies, but I can hardly call myself an expert on the subject. Sometimes I just can't get behind them. So, if you catch me saying something like "That's a remake of [insert Asian movie title], you should watch the original," don't pay attention. I'm just talking shit. I actually have no idea what I'm talking about.

That being said, I only slightly enjoyed Ringu. While the story behind it is definitely intriguing and terrifying, the movie itself just failed to give me that special feeling. The story here follows Asakawa, a reporter who finds herself surrounded by the mysterious legend of a killer video tape. She was researching and talking to locals about this tape, when her niece died. She came to believe that her death had something to do with the tape, so she took her research to another level. She ended up in possession of the tape and found herself with only one week to live. Her ex husband helps her in her research, and the search to find a cure for this "curse."

At the basics of it, the remake is the same. It's got the same basic story and follows a woman, her husband (or ex, I can't remember if they went the same way there), and their son. But the remake had several things that this one didn't. For one thing, this one just wasn't scary. There were a few scenes that I assume were meant as jump scares, but they just didn't set in. Even the typical Asian-horror theme -- the creepy, long, black hair -- didn't work very well for me. I think the terror here lies in the "what-if". The idea of this kind of thing happening to you is absolutely terrifying. The idea that you know, without a doubt, that you're going to die in a week...and you're racing the clock to figure out how to prevent that is scary as hell. But watching it on screen just didn't do anything for me. The majority of the time was spent with the characters doing research and travelling back and forth between locations.

There was one interesting concept that I don't remember being present in the remake -- that Sadako and her mother had magical powers, and that is what led to their deaths. Her mother was a psychic, and Sadako was able to kill people simply by wishing it. But other than that, it was generally unremarkable. I've seen Ringu 0, which is a prequel to this one, and I enjoyed it more. It focuses on Sadako's life before she was killed. Even though I can hardly classify it as horror as it's not scary either, it's an extremely sad story that I could get behind simply because of the emotions.

So, here we have something very rare. I actually liked the American version better. I thought it was scarier, it explained the ghostly occurrences better, and it succeeded in getting under my skin. When I first saw it, I was worried that I'd be afraid to watch television anymore. That didn't happen, of course, but you get my point. It left a mark. This one didn't.

#285 -- Ju-On (2002)

Director: Takashi Shimizu
Rating: 4 / 5

Usually, my stand on originals vs. remakes is pretty simple. Very rarely to I enjoy a remake better than the original, and I stand very firmly by those originals. But here, I'm really not sure where I stand  in the battle.

By now, I think it's safe to say that everyone's familiar with the story, but here's the quote from the beginning just in case you're not. "The curse of one who dies in the grip of a powerful rage. It gathers and takes effect in the places that person was alive. Those who encounter it die, and a new curse is born." At the very core of it, that's what Ju-On is all about. It centers around a certain house in Tokyo where a family died, and now everyone who enters the house meet their ends as well. Here, the main character is a girl named Rika who works at the Social Welfare Center, and is sent to the house to look after the elderly woman living there. Her son and daughter in law are who-knows-where, and she seems to be gripped by a terrible fear of something that only she can see...for now. The "grudge" will kill anyone who enters that house, and if they happen to escape with their lives, it will follow them. So, really, there's no way to escape this curse.

I am a fan of Asian horror, everyone knows that. I love the atmosphere of them, and I think they're some of the scariest movies ever made. Even though most of them do share the same basic ideas, they always have something new to offer, and I almost always love them. The problem that I have, most of the time, with the remakes, is that they lack that atmosphere that I love. Asian horror movies have that way of making us feel suspense, building up to a certain moment, and then slapping us in the face with some long-haired woman that will surely fill our nightmares for days to come. There's definitely something unique and special about them; something that most remakes just don't have. Here, though, both original and remake were directed by the same man, and even starred the same actors as Kayako and Toshio, the two ghosts in the house. So, really, they're essentially the same, aside from the fact that the remake caters to Americans. I think this one might be confusing to some of us, simply due to the cultural differences. That, and if you look away from the subtitles for two seconds, you'll be completely lost. There were some parts here that I didn't understand, but I'm just going to go ahead and say that's only because I'm not Japanese.

Even though the two are pretty much the same, there are a few differences. In Ju-On, the story of Kayako and her husband wasn't explained quite as much as in the remake. It tells us that she apparently had been cheating, and that her husband, outraged, killed her, their son, and their cat, before killing himself. But we didn't get all that mumbo jumbo about Bill Pullman and how she was a stalker. It also didn't stop once the main character's story was finished; it continued on about some teenagers going into the house for some dangerous fun, and then an entirely new curse was born (with a new set of angry spirits). This is the part that really threw me off to begin with. But I figure that the curse (or the grudge) doesn't have to involve the same set of people all the time. It simply states that it involves people who die in the grip of a powerful rage. See, those teenagers were abandoned by one of their friends, and they were left in the house to get killed by Kayako. This made them very angry, so they followed their friend home and tormented her until her mind unraveled.

Again, the two movies are essentially the same, so I'm not sure how I feel about each of them in the original vs. remake battle. They're both very good movies and, no matter how you look at them, Kayako's death rattle is absolutely terrifying in any language. So I think I'm going to call it a draw.

#283 -- A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

Director: Jee-woon Kim
Rating: 3.5 / 5

I had been waiting to see this ever since the last time that I watched The Uninvited, which is its American remake. It took me longer than it should have to link the two movies together, but once I did, I knew I had to see this one. I knew that it was going to be very different than its American counterpart, but I never imagined just how different it would be. It actually shocked me at first, and I wan't sure what to think of it. I'm still not entirely sure what to take away from this movie, but you can be sure that it's different.

A Tale of Two Sisters is about a family that is seemingly full of mentally unstable people. The first of the move shows us the two sisters, Su-Yeon and Su-Mi, returning home from a mental hospital. We only ever saw Su-Mi at the hospital, so it's safe to assume that Su-Yeon was simply accompanying their father to pick her sister up, and that she was never admitted into the hospital herself. She, in fact, seems to be the most mentally stable of the bunch. Their father seems a bit reclusive and isn't seen very much; their stepmother seems a bit overbearing and quick with punishments, and Su-Mi seems quick to anger and slow to trust. Su-Yeon is a shy girl who only seems to deal with her relatives' issues. She follows her sister everywhere and does what she says, she cowers before her stepmother, and I can't remember her ever even interacting with her father.

It is quickly made obvious just how little Su-Mi trusts her stepmother. There are several arguments between the two which seem a bit trivial at first, but make a little sense once you realize what's going on in Su-Mi's head. When she discovers some marks on Su-Yeon, she is certain that their stepmother is to blame. She confronts the woman, and she admits to punishin Su-Yeon, by locking her away in a wardrobe in her bedroom. This seems bad enough to begin with, but by the end of the movie it is expanded upon in a scene that is extremely cruel and disturbing.

Meanwhile, Su-Mi is plagued by nightmarish figures appearing before her, and it seems that there could possibly be some sort of spirit lurking in their house, and that it might be that of the girls' dead mother.

There are a couple of ways that this one differs from most Asian horror movies; or the ones I've seen, at least. It does rely on atmosphere, as most do, but it doesn't rely as much on spookiness. There are no creepy ladies with long black hair crawling around on ceilings here. What could make this movie scary to some is the idea of what might be. It isn't nearly as in-your-face as the American remake. It doesn't give you every detail of the story, which might turn some people away. It definitely shocked and confused me. Most of the details are left up to the imagination, and you have to interpret the things you'r seeing in order to figure it out. Sometimes I like movies like this, since there's never just one clear meaning. The movie is what you make it out to be. I went into this having already seen the remake, and I thought that maybe the two would play out a little similarly. They didn't. That was where I went wrong; that's why the movie confused me so much: because it went in a different direction than the one I was sure it was going to take. It was somewhat similar to the remake, but again, it wasn't quite as up front about it.

[spoilers ahead]

My interpretation comes from a line said by the girls' stepmother. "You want to forget something. Totally wipe it out of your mind. But you never can. It can't go away, you see. It follows you around like a ghost." There were hints throughout the movie that there might be a spirit in their house, but I think the only ghost present was the ghost of regret. In the end, it is revealed that Su-Yeon had been dead all along, and it is plain to see that Su-Mi is not in her right state of mind, and that she might have (most likely did) killed her sister. It is not completely clear to me, but I believe she locked her away in that wardrobe to starve to death while trying to claw her way out. The things that she was seeing, the assumptions she was making about her stepmother: they were all ways that her mind was trying to erase the evil thing she had done. She still saw her sister every day, everywhere she went, and her mind created this situation in which she was not the guilty one. She placed the blame on her stepmother, an outsider, rather than feel the weight on her own shoulders.

[end of spoilers]

A Tale of Two Sisters is not a movie for everyone. The pacing is quite slow, and there aren't any real scares here. The scares are entirely in the viewers' minds, as we imagine the evil things taking place. If you're a fan of those creepy movies like Ringu and Ju-On, with those creepy long-haired women on ceilings, you're not going to find that here. If you enjoy the creepy atmosphere of those same movies, you won't find that here either. It is full of bright colors, a wonderful summertime setting, and the music was very soothing to me. The things taking place and the way we see them are totally contradictory. You feel like things should be happy there, but they're not. That's what makes the atmosphere creepy. It's a subtle sort of terror, unlike what most horror movies strive for. Again, it's not for everyone. Some, like me, might be a bit confused at first. Director Jee-woon Kim gives a lot of credit to his audience, and he lets us figure things out for ourselves rather than slapping us in the face with facts. You really have to think about this one if you're to completely understand it. I still don't completely understand it, but I've got my own ideas and interpretations. That's exactly what you'll have to take away from the movie as well.

#258 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 12: The Christmas Tale [Cuento de Navidad] (2005)

Year: 2005
Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Paco Plaza

Today brings us yet another foreign film, this time in Spanish. I found in on Fearnet's VOD, and I wasn't really sure what to expect from it. The synopsis it gave was that a couple of kids find a woman dressed as Santa out in the woods, and she turns out to be a robber. My first thought was, "that doesn't sound like a horror movie at all," but I trusted Fearnet, so I watched it. In reality, the majority of the movie really isn't horror. It doesn't start to even remotely resemble a horror movie until the very end.

So there's this group of friends: there's the sweet little girl, the asshole leader, the nerd (who happens to be obsessed with The Karate Kid, and wants to be just like Daniel), the sweet boy, and maybe some others that I can't remember. The most memorable are Moni (the sweet girl, played by Ivana Baquero from Pan's Labyrinth), and Tito, since they are the most relatable of the bunch. Moni is indeed a sweet little girl who tries to help out the prisoner as much as she can; and Tito is the comedic relief with his Karate Kid obsession and all. Anyways, they find this lady in a hole out in the woods. She's dressed as Santa, and she tells them a sob story about how she was trying to surprise her nephews for Christmas, took a detour through the woods, and fell in a hole. Two of the kids left to find the police, while the rest remained behind and try to help her out of the hole. While the two were at the police station, they saw a flyer that told them the lady was a criminal, so they returned without notifying anyone. They then decided to keep the woman prisoner, wait to see if there would be a reward, and then maybe turn her in later. But by then they knew that she had stolen two million dollars, and they wanted some of that cash. So they refused to bring her any food or supplies until she revealed the location of the money.

I must note that a couple of the kids were very into some movie called Zombie Invasion. Once, they decided to try out the "zombie ritual" they saw in the movie, to see if they could turn their prisoner into one of the living dead. So, when they returned to let her out of the whole (after making sure all the money was there), she was dead. Or at least, somewhat. She escaped from the  hole, and went chasing after the kids with an axe. The final chase scenes took place in an amusement park of some sort, which made it quite a sight to see:  this bloody, messed up woman chasing a bunch
of kids with an axe through a park. The kids knew from the movie that the only way to kill a zombie was to stab it through the eye, so they came up with several different plans on how to do this. Only one of them worked, of course, and it was pretty grisly. There were a couple of other gnarly scenes as well (most notably when the lady was trying to escape and her fingernail was ripped from her hand). In the end, the film-makers played a naughty trick on us viewers with a twist that I saw coming. But since I saw it coming, I thought it was too obvious, and I was sure they wouldn't go there. So when they did go there, I was equally shocked because I'd expected to not expect it. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

The Good 

I think all of the kids did a wonderful job in their roles. They played the roles of friends turning on each other very well, and they were very strong characters. It was a story of kids getting caught up in a bad situation that was mainly caused by their vivid imaginations. It also showed how children can be just as monstrous as adults, in the way that they kept her prisoner and practically tortured her until they got what they wanted. I think this was the most disturbing part. The "leader" of the group was the most disturbing, as he didn't seem to care whether the woman lived or died, and no child should ever show that sort of hatred.

It was a Stand By Me type of horror movie, in that it depicts children getting into a situation that children should never be in. In it, too, the children find smart ways to get out of the sticky situation without any help from adults.

The part of Rebecca, the robber, was played equally well. She was part dangerous and frightening, and part pitiable and sad. I wasn't sure if I should feel bad for her, or hate her and wish for the kids to kill her. In the end, I rooted for the kids because, after all, they're only children and I could never wish them dead. The final scenes were quite suspenseful, because as a viewer, I hoped desperately that all of the children (except maybe the leader, because he was a bit of an asshole) made it out unscathed.

The effects, though quite limited as there were no murders, were done well. The fingernail bit was absolutely cringe-worthy, and the make-up they put on Rebecca was great. She was played by Maru Valdivelso, who is quite a pretty lady. But Rebecca was horrid: ugly and scary, and definitely not someone you'd want to come across in a dark alley.

The Bad 


The movie was definitely slow. While they found Rebecca early on, it mostly focused on their interactions with her while she was in the hole. It was disturbing to see the way the children treated her, but there really was nothing else going on for a while. It wasn't until the last thirty minutes or so, when the chase scenes began, that it started to pick up and get really interesting. Yes, that's a problem. But the scenes leading up to that part were really good, and they succeeded and developing the kids' characters in ways that made me care about them. I do wish the action would have started sooner, but it only hurt my rating a little bit.

Everyone knows I'm a gore whore, so I'd like to say that I wish there was more blood to make it even more disturbing. But I'm kind of torn. Since the movie focused almost entirely on children (Rebecca and one police officer were the only two adults ever present), it's kind of hard to wish for more gore. Though I do think it would be easier to classify this as "horror" if at least one of the kids had been killed. Because, let's face it, kids dying is the most horrifying and terrible thing in the world.


I've never really watched Christmas themed horror movies up until this year's Creepmas. I've watched three foreign ones so far. I never realized that Christmas is pretty much a universal holiday. Everyone seems to celebrate it, everyone knows Santa, and everyone has their own little stories to tell about him. Sure, some are a little different, but he's always present, it seems. Just an interesting thing I've noticed that I honestly should have noticed sooner, probably.


Overall, I think The Christmas Tale was an interesting movie with good characters and a unique story to tell.

#255 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 9: Saint Nick (2010)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Dick Maas

This little gem comes from the Netherlands, where Christmas traditions are apparently very different from America. I thought that, maybe, their traditions really were different, so I did some research. But it turns out that they're actually pretty similar. So, all in the spirit of the movie, I guess.

In 1492 (about the same time that America was being discovered, by the way), Saint Nick was invading villages and robbing and killing the townspeople. He had a group of henchman who would climb down chimneys to rob people of their goodies. But the townspeople had had enough of it, and they decided to rid themselves of their adversaries. They killed all the henchman in gruesome ways, before setting fire to Saint Nick's ship, killing whoever they'd missed. All of this happened on December fifth, which apparently was Saint Nick's birthday. Now, they say that if there happens to be a full moon on December fifth (which happens every thirty-two years), Saint Nick will return to kill everyone that he could.

The story follows a group of high school kids getting ready to celebrate the holiday season. They all know the "myth" of Saint Niklas, but only a select few actually believe it. The first to encounter the deadly saint is Frank. He and his friends were on their way to a party of some sort, dressed as Saint Nick and his henchman, when the real deal showed up to kill all but one of them.

Frank, the survivor, was blamed for the murders and arrested. He was able to escape with the help of a rogue police officer (who had encountered Saint Nick himself as a child) who had a plan to kill the old jolly man. Armed with a boat load of explosives, they set out to get rid of Saint Nick for good.

The Good

I really enjoyed this movie, so I think just about everything was good. The production values were fantastic. It definitely looked good, and the effects were splendid. I was really impressed with the effects, and the kill scenes were all amazing. The story of Saint Nick was interesting as well. When he and his henchman returned to Amsterdam, they still look as they did when they were killed: all burnt up disfigured. They practically looked like zombies, and the make-up was wonderful in that area as well. He was also very menacing and scary, and seeing him riding his beautiful white horse across rooftops was a wonderful sight to behold. The horse, as well, was somewhat zombie-like. The attacks it had endure were still plain on its body, making it quite menacing--though it was still very beautiful. Saint Niklas' weapon of choice was his staff, a long golden thing with a curly Q on top, which apparently had blades woven into it. He used it quite effectively, and it was a good weapon to use for decapitation purposes. The movie was definitely gruesome and bloody, something that I honestly wasn't expecting.

The Bad

I can't really say much about the actors in the movie, since it was dubbed in English and I couldn't tell much about their performances. The dubbing actors were not very good, though. Eventually, I started watching the real actors' faces, and I think I can say that they did a good job, but I can't be certain. I wish I could have seen it in its original language with subtitles, so I could get a real feel for the characters, rather than just bad voice-overs. But even as it is, I can deal with it. I really enjoyed the movie, bad dubbing or not.


So today's Creepmas entry was definitely better than the last.

I'd had this saved on Netflix for a while, waiting to watch it during Creepmas. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I thought the cover looked neat. I'm glad I finally got to watch it, and I found it highly entertaining. My suggestion to you is that, if you can, you should watch it with subtitles rather than dubbing. But if, like me, it's only available to you this way, you'll still enjoy it. I'd call this one of the better Christmas horror movies there are, and it should definitely be on your Creepmas watch list.

#222 -- The Grudge (2004)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Takashi Shimizu

I'm finally starting to recognize a few Japanese directors. It's a really good thing, because I love Japanese horror, but I never really know what to look for as far as who knows what they're doing. I did notice that Sam Raimi is one of the producers, which always gives me high hopes. Ted Raimi had a small role in the movie, too, of course. But anyways, back to the my Japanese directors. I know Takashi Miike is wonderful, but I'm still on the fence about Shimizu. The only other of his films I've seen is Marebito, and I didn't enjoy that one very much. Ju-On, however, I really did enjoy. I wouldn't call it one of my favorite movies, though, which is why I also really enjoy the remake. This is one of the few remakes (especially of Japanese horror) that I feel is just as good as the original, and that's probably because they were both directed by Shimizu. I think that, if an American had tried his/her hands at the remake, it wouldn't have been as good. Americans are very good when it comes to blood and guts and a lot of gore, but the kings and queens of creepiness definitely goes to the folks in Japan. Maybe Japanese people are just creepy by nature, I'm not sure. But they sure as hell know how to creep the fuck out of me.

I think at this point, people know what this is all about. Whether you're a fan of the original, or you've seen the remake, everyone knows about Kayako. It is Japanese legend that when someone dies in anger or sorrow, that the anger remains. So, when Kayako was murdered (along with her son and their cat) by her jealous husband, that rage stayed in their house. A family moved in three years later; two of them were killed, and one was left mute and presumably insane. Karen (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her boyfriend, Doug (Jason Behr) were exchange students from America, and Karen volunteered at a care center. She was sent to the house to look over the elderly woman I mentioned earlier, because the woman's former care-taker was missing (she was up in the attic with Kayako). As soon as she entered the house, she knew something was wrong. She finally met Toshio, the young boy who had been murdered, and Kayako. The old woman was killed, and Karen was hospitalized briefly. It didn't leave her insane, but it did leave her with a sense of purpose. She was determined to learn the story of Kayako and Toshio, and to figure out why their spirits couldn't leave the house.

She did some digging, and found that Kayako had fallen in love (or was obsessed with) an American college professor (Bill Pullman). The professor was married, and probably didn't share her feelings. But when Kayako's husband learned of it, he was outraged. He killed her, drowned their son and his cat, and then hung himself. Karen thought burning the house to the ground would end the curse. But the house was not destroyed, and neither was the grudge. Because we all know that the only person who can end a grudge is the person who holds it. And, personally, I don't think Kayako will ever get over being murdered by her own husband.

I think this series of movies has become a legend if not only for its sound effects. As if corpse-like women crawling down stairs in very unnatural positions isn't scary enough, there had to be even more terrifying sound effects. There was Toshio's angry cat sounds, and Kayako's death rattle. That death rattle is completely terrifying, because...well, I don't really know why. I think that might be what it sounds like when someone's dying, and it definitely meant death to all who heard it. Maybe just because it's so foreign; we don't hear sounds like that everyday, and we know what it means for the characters. When we hear it, we shudder, because we can imagine the long, black hair and the deathly woman who comes crawling from around the corner after it.

If you take nothing else from The Grudge, it at least gives you a new way to torture your easily frightened friends. Just throw a little death rattle at them, and watch them piss their pants waiting for Kayako to get them.

#197 -- Marebito (2004)

Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Takashi Shimizu

May contain spoilers

If I was able to understand the ideas behind this movie, I would have probably enjoyed it a lot more. I could travel through the depths of the internet to find such things, but I lack the energy and interest to do so. I feel like there was a psychological or philosophical message to be portrayed here, but I just didn't get it. Shimizu failed to fully convey his messages, at least to a simpleton like myself.

It is about a freelance cameraman, Masuoka, who carries his camera everywhere he goes. He should be pitied, since he is unable to live life fully. He only sees things as they appear through his camera's lens. He is a cameraman by day and a voyeur by night, as he shoots windows and doors, hoping to get a glimpse of the goings on inside. He sees a woman staring out into the street, ponders what she searches for, and dubs her a paranoid whose soul he has saved by recording her. He believes that the images he captures are spirits, but that is not what he is looking for. Ghosts are a normal part of life for a lot of people, and they are not to be feared; fear is what he is searching for. He records a man committing suicide by stabbing himself in the eye. He notices the fear in the man's eyes, and believes that he cut out his eye to avoid seeing whatever it was that scared him so badly. Masuoka wishes to experience this kind of terror; he wants to see what the man saw before taking his own life. While watching the video, the man's eyes look directly at Masuko, causing him to have some terrifying visions of strange underground human-like creatures. This leads him to the subway and down, down below Tokyo and into the netherworld.

He meets a couple of people (one being the ghost of the man who killed himself) who tell him about the creatures: Deros (detrimental robots). They are some sort of bloodsucking creatures, and are to be greatly feared. He keeps traveling, until his comes to a beautiful landscape he calls The Mountains of Madness. In a cave among these mountains, he finds a beautiful young girl in chains. He takes her home to his apartment, names her F, and tries to take care of her.

He's informed by a mysterious man on the telephone that he isn't doing his part, and that F will die there if he doesn't shape up. He soon realizes that F feeds solely on blood, and begins to feed her himself. When the fear of dying (not because he doesn't want to, but because he is afraid of what will happen to her when he's gone) takes over, he begins giving her animal corpses to feed on. When it seems like the animals aren't enough, and F becomes weaker and weaker, he begins bringing her a human supply. He meets a woman who claims his daughter Fuyumi is missing (though he denies even having a daughter), and he kills her in an alley. He also kills a young high school girl. He fills baby bottles with their blood and takes them home to F.

After a while of this, he feels let down. He says that even the murder of two innocent women wasn't enough to drive him completely insane, which is what he really wanted. He wanted to feel the madness. But then he admits to killing his wife, and turning his daughter into an animal, so I'm sure it's clear that he was, indeed, insane. He ends up back in the cave with F (or Fuyumi), bloody, with her smiling down on him. In his eyes? Complete and utter terror. So I guess it's a happy ending; he got what he wanted.

The imagery was pretty good in Marebito. I really enjoyed the netherworld scenes, but they didn't last long enough in my opinion. I would've liked for the entire movie to take place in Underground Tokyo, because that premise was very interesting. I don't think this was meant to be a shocking horror, but rather a psychological one. It was meant to show the downfall of Masuoka, and the loss of his sanity. I think there might have been some other messages, but I didn't feel it. I liked my initial belief that F was some sort of underground dwelling creature, and that Masuoka had truly stumbled into the Netherworld. When that belief was shattered, the movie was ruined for me. Sometimes I am able to look deeper into the meanings of movies, but sometimes I'm a complete simpleton--like now. I just didn't see it, and the movie failed for me, but I didn't hate it. It was interesting, even if it wasn't one of my favorite J-horrors.

#190 -- Three...Extremes (2004)

Rating: 4 / 5
Directors: Fruit Chan, Park Chan-Wook, Takashi Miike

It'll be no surprise that I enjoyed this movie. I've yet to find an Asian horror movie that I didn't like, and this is no different. It's a nice little anthology, with three thirty-minute (ish) short films from different regions that will frighten and disturb. The last of the three is called Box, and was directed by Takashi Miike. I think every horror fan knows his name, and it's no wonder why. He directed one of my favorite movies of all time (One Missed Call) as well as Ichi the Killer, and Master's of Horror episode Imprint.The other directors I had not heard of before, but they seem pretty promising. While most Asian horror is terrifying, this one seems to just aim for disturbing. And it does not fail to deliver. These shorts will make you question morality, humanity, and sanity. The first you'll feel bad for enjoying, the second you'll feel bad for relating to, and the third....you'll just feel bad. I think I can now honestly say that Takashi Miike is one of my favorite directors, and I'm looking forward to checking out some more from Fruit Chan and Park Chan-Wook.

Dumplings--This one comes from China. An ex-actress, Mrs. Li, with an unfaithful husband is feeling pretty lousy about herself. She's getting older, her skin is starting to sag, and she just doesn't feel beautiful anymore. She feels that, if she looked the way she did when she was on television, it will save her marriage and make her husband love her again. Mrs. Li seeks out a woman called Aunt Mei, who is rumored to make the best dumplings in town. They're expensive, but they're well worth the price. These dumplings are supposed to rejuvenate and restore youth and beauty. Aunt Mei says that she is her best advertisement, as she is much older than she looks. Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, the problem is with the ingredients used to make the dumplings: aborted fetuses. Most of the fetuses are girls, because, as Aunt Mei says herself, boys are never aborted in China. So imagine both Mrs. Li and Aunt Mei's excitement when a young girl, carrying her own father's child, seeks out Aunt Mei for the abortion of her son. Only that's not enough for Mrs. Li. When she discovers she is pregnant, she figures that her own child would provide more nourishment and rejuvenation than someone else's, and she will stop at nothing to remain young and beautiful.

Dumplings is actually available as a full length movie, as well, and I believe it is available on Netflix if you're interested. I am definitely interested, because I understand that it's a lot more complicated than this shorter version. It goes deeper into Mrs. Lei's background, and it has an alternative ending that sounds much more disturbing than the one they went with here.

Cut--From South Korea--A brilliant director finds himself in a sticky situation when an extra from his movies abducts him and his wife. This guy is angry because, even though he's been in all of his movies, the director cannot remember him. This kid grew up poor with a bastard for a father, and he turned into a bastard himself. But the director grew up rich, stayed rich, and he's a good man. He's jealous, and he doesn't think it's fair that this man should have everything. So he's seeking to prove that the director isn't as good a man as he seems. He wants a confession: a confession of some kind of sin that will prove to him that this man is not perfect. He has him tied up and rigged to something (it never really went into what it was, or what it could do), and he had his wife's arms tied up and glued to her piano. Every once in a while he would cut off one of her fingers, which is devastating for a pianist. There was also a child tied up in the room with them. The director was to kill the child if he wanted to save his and his wife's lives. Some dark-ish secrets did come out, but they really weren't all that bad. The ending kind of confused me--I wasn't sure if the director had gone crazy, or if things just weren't as they seemed at first. But I still enjoyed this one too.

Box--From Japan--This one is definitely filmed beautifully, and it looks better than the rest. It's about a young novelist named Kyoko. When she was a child, she and her sister Shoko were a part of a little circus act. They were contortionists, and they would curl up into the little boxes, their partner (an older man) would lock the boxes up and re-open them only to find big bouquets of flowers. The girls were equally good at what they did, but Shoko got all the recognition and rewards for it. Kyoko was jealous. One night, she locked Shoko up in one of the boxes. I think she planned to pretend to be her sister for a while, just to see how the recognition felt. But their partner showed up, and there was a struggle that ended in a fire. Shoko was stuck in the box, and she died that night. Now, all grown up, Kyoko has nightmares about being locked in a tiny box and buried. At some points, it's hard to tell if it's a dream, or if her worst nightmares are coming true. While this one is beautiful, and directed by Mr. Miike, I wouldn't say it's the best of the three.

To me, Dumplings was the best of the bunch. It was the most disturbing to me, and it really made me question things. First of all, I am 100% against abortion, so it was disturbing right from the get-go. But to think of someone actually devouring aborted fetuses? There can't be anything worse. And the fact that she did it for the vainest of reasons just really irked me. And then she ate her own child to boot. So this one was definitely the most disturbing. We know that there are people out there who are obsessed with their image, so it wouldn't be very hard for me to imagine someone actually doing something like this. I think that makes it even more disturbing, if that were possible.

Overall, this was a very enjoyable anthology, with three wonderful short films directed by some very talented men.

#182 -- Twisted Sisters (2006)

Rating: 3 / 5
Director: Wolfgang Buld

This one stars Fiona Horsey, the girl with the killer vagina from Angst. It also stars Paul Conway, who was her love interest Dennis in that movie. This time he's a detective, and he's not so keen on her. The first thing we see is a woman picking a man up in a bar. We can tell right away that she's a bit of a whore, and things probably won't turn out very well for her. She takes that man back to his apartment, where she sleeps with him and then butchers and castrates him. That's her thing: sex, slaughter, castration. The sex seems kind of painful for her, and my first thought was, "Uh-oh, another case of vagina dentata?" But we learn later that the pain is emotional, rather than physical.

Then we meet Jennifer. She's a business woman with a pretty great life. She's got a wonderful boyfriend, Alan, a great job that she loves, and she's expecting her first child. Things are looking great for her, until a detective shows up who suspects her of murder. She gets roped into a murder investigation she knows nothing about, and she has no idea of how to get out of it. See, the thing is, there were witnesses who saw her with all of the men who were murdered. Even though she knows that she didn't kill anyone, she doesn't see a way out of it. It becomes even more stressful for her when the detective shows her a video of a woman with the man that  was murdered not long before. The woman looks exactly like her. When her parents hear of her situation, they let her know that she was adopted, and that she had a twin sister, Norah.

The story is that Jennifer and Norah's mother was raped, and their father was so outraged by this that he killed her, before taking his own life. Norah was sent to live with her aunt and uncle. They didn't want Jennifer because she cried too much, and she was adopted by a wonderful and loving couple. Norah wasn't so lucky. Her uncle was an abusive pedophile who liked to rape Norah on a nightly basis. She became pregnant with his child, and this ruined her ability to have any children in the future. It's understandable that she'd be a little fucked in the head. She said that she got pleasure from people hurting her, which is why she did what she did. Even though she was doing most of the hurting in those situations. I think the sex itself was painful for her, because she'd been traumatized by the act at a young age. But she hated--absolutely despised--Jennifer for having the life she thought she deserved. Her main goal was to destroy her sister, out of jealousy and anger. One night, she drugged Jennifer with some sleeping medicine, so that she could bring a man to her house and kill him. She hoped that this would prove to the police, without a doubt, that Jennifer was the murderer. She hoped that was what it would take to ruin Jennifer's life. Unfortunately for her, the police discovered that Jennifer did, indeed, have a twin sister, and that she'd been institutionalized. They finally believed her. Jennifer and Alan went to stay at a vacation home to get away from all the drama, but they didn't plan on Norah following them. When Alan was away, Norah tied Jennifer up in the attic, and she took her place. She lived with Alan for a little while, and she finally knew what real happiness was. She said she could see herself falling in love with him.

But Jennifer wouldn't have it. She escaped from the basement, and was on her way to end her evil sister, when the detectives showed up. Of course, they mistook Jennifer for Norah, and the other way around, and Jennifer got shot.

She survived, but would there be a way to get her old life back? Would anyone believe that she was Jennifer, and not her sister?

I will say that Fiona Horsey was pretty hot in this one. She was the sexy lady who fucks shit up, which is actually quite a terrifying thing. They called her "the devil with the angel's face." I wouldn't really call Norah anything even close to an angel, because she was definitely a very bad girl in every sense of the phrase. The guys knew it; that's why they were so drawn to her. She was easy, and she was always willing. It was also sad to see such a good girl roped into something so twisted. And twisted it was (hence the title). Norah was fucking vicious. She put a stick of firecrackers in one guy's ass, and blew his guts all to hell. Most just got castrated, which was simple enough, but the end result was far from pretty. And she was laughing while she was doing all of this. But I think the title was wrong. It should have been called One Twisted Bitch. Because Jennifer wasn't twisted at all. Of course. Girls named Jennifer can't be anything but sweethearts.

So, this one was quite interesting. I enjoyed it, but my problem was there wasn't very much suspense. We knew early on that Jennifer wasn't the killer. We believed it for a minute, but that illusion was shattered when the stranger in the hood and sunglasses (Norah) began following Jennifer. It was pretty obvious that someone else was involved. It became suspenseful for me when Norah had Jennifer tied up in the attic. I was worried that Jennifer wouldn't be able to get free; that she would starve or drown in her own piss, or something. I was also worried that Norah was going to kill Alan, but I think she had truly found happiness with him, and the fact that she'd finally ruined Jennifer's life. But in the end, it was an enjoyable movie, and I would recommend it.

#168 -- The Orphanage (2007)

Director: Juan Antonio Bayona
Rating: 3 / 5

I bought this movie because I saw Guillermo del Toro's name plastered on it. He was the mind behind Pan's Labyrinth, one of my favorite movies, so I had pretty high hopes for this one. I know now, though, that del Toro only produced this, and it was his so called protege who directed. Knowing this, though, makes me feel better about the fact that I didn't love it. It was about a woman named Laura who grew up in an orphanage. She was adopted, and she didn't see the place again until she was in her late thirties with an adopted son of her own. I'm assuming her son, Simon, didn't come into the world under the greatest of circumstances, because he was HIV positive. Laura and her family moved into the old orphanage, and they planned to open it back up as a home for special needs children. Simon met some imaginary friends which, as viewers, you and I know were only imaginary to Laura and her husband. What he was really seeing were ghosts--the ghosts of the children Laura grew up with in the orphanage. One of the ghosts was Tomas, a deformed boy with a creepy burlap sack over his head. He kept to himself when he was at the orphanage with Laura, so she never realized that he'd been killed by some of the other kids, while they were playing a prank on him on the beach. Tomas' mother wasn't happy about this, and shortly after Laura was adopted, she poisoned all the other children. Simon told Laura about a game his new friends liked to play. They stole some treasure, and you had to find it by the clues they laid out. So when Simon disappeared, Laura had to play a very dark game of treasure hunt to find her son.

I liked the idea of the treasure hunt thing, but it just wasn't played out enough, I don't think. I also liked the burlap-sack kid; that was the one creepy thing going on here, but we didn't get to see him all that often either. I think those were just attempts to keep our attention for a minute, while the rest of the movie was kind of bland. I was hoping for a Pan's Labyrinth like feel, but it didn't give me that either. It didn't have comedy or gore to save it either. There was one little bit of gore, where Tomas' mother was hit by a bus, and it took her jaw almost completely off. Seeing her jaw hanging was gruesome enough, but before we saw that, we saw Laura's husband giving her mouth to mouth. How do you give mouth to mouth to a woman who barely has a mouth? In the end, it's an okay movie that didn't quite understand the concept of scaring people. I actually did like the ending, though. It ended on a beautiful yet sad note, and it worked. There really was no other way it could have ended. So it gets my three point rating because it was an okay movie. It could have been better, but it also could have been worse.

#122 -- Foreign Movie Challenge: Bloody Reunion (2006)

Director: Dae-wung Lim
Rating: 4/5

This is my last entry in the foreign movie challenge. Sadly, I didn't get one in every day like I'd planned, but I still had a pretty interesting week of movie viewing. Today's choice was a Korean movie called Bloody Reunion (also known as "To Sir, With Love" though I'm not really sure why. Bloody Reunion actually fits the story better). It's an interesting movie with elements I've never seen in an Asian horror movie. It is about a group of people who go to visit with their old elementary school teacher, who is very ill. Their teacher, Mrs. Park, was apparently horribly cruel to them when they were in school, and they all came back to see just how she could live with herself knowing what she'd done to them. Mrs. Park had a deformed son who the children were all scared of when they were young (and whose deformity also caused her husband to commit suicide). When the group starts dying in grisly ways, it seems that the deformed child of Mrs. Park is the only one to blame.

THE GOOD

There were many good things going on in this one. First and foremost, the gore. This is the most gore I've seen in a serious Asian horror film. There are those that are meant to be silly, and they are almost always full of gore. But the more serious ones, the ones meant to actually frighten, usually rely on jump-scares and an eerie atmosphere. In that way, Bloody Reunion was very different. Also, it was a slasher movie! I have never seen an Asian slasher movie, so that was refreshing. The rabbit mask. Mrs. Park's son wore a bunny mask to cover his deformed face. It sounds kind of silly on paper, but it was actually pretty frightening. I also liked the character development. Each of the kids' stories concerning Mrs. Park were interesting and I was able to relate to them. Each of them felt put down by her; they were made to feel as if they were not good enough, and they grew up trying to change themselves to fit the image she had set in their minds. She ruined their lives. The story was a good one, but that's nothing new with Asian horror. And I must say: the kills. This little rabbit-man was truly vicious! He looked to be small, but he definitely was not weak.

THE BAD

The only bad thing I could say about this was that it didn't go into very much depth about the horrible things Mrs. Park did to her students. They each gave a vague speech about what happened to them, but I would have liked to see more. One student was told that she was too fat, and she grew up to become obsessed with her image, and she eventually spent all of her money on plastic surgery (which left her with a pair of messed up eyes). One was made to feel lousy because he lost a race, which caused him to focus his energy on becoming more athletic; this caused an injury that would effect him for the rest of his life. One girl who was poor gave Mrs. Park a homemade gift that she only laughed at because it wasn't as good as money, though she didn't seem to have any lasting difficulties because of it (I could be wrong, though). And one student seemed to have been sexually abused by Mrs. Park. They were easy to relate to, I just would have liked more description so that I could have felt that more. It's a very small point, and it didn't take away from the movie's overall entertainment.

I also didn't care very much for the ending. It was somehow good, yet disappointing at the same time. All the way through the movie, I was thinking "Hey! This is different" because I'd never seen an Asian horror movie quite like it. But at the end, it was just another revenge story. The story was good, and it explained a lot of things that had happened earlier. I didn't hate it, but I was hoping for a full-blown slasher movie. Also, at the end, the deformed child seemed to have disappeared. The ending had a twist that didn't involve him, but his role in everything was dismissed, it seemed. I wondered what happened to him, because I kind of liked him. I can always relate to the "freak."

THE STRANGE

I know I already said this in the "good" section, but I believe it belongs here as well: the rabbit mask. It is definitely strange, but in a most awesome way. Overall, Bloody Reunion is a great movie, with elements not typical for Asian horror, and it was a nice ending to the foreign movie challenge.

After a small break, I'll be starting a Classic Movie Challenge, where I'll watch nothing but old movies. So stay tuned for that! As for this challenge, I  enjoyed it and look forward to doing it again in the future.

#121 -- Foreign Movie Challenge: Funny Games (1997)

Director: Michael Haneke
Rating: 2/5

Today's choice was a German movie about a rich family spending time at their vacation home. Their vacation goes horribly awry when two young men from next door (supposedly) show up and cause mayhem. It all starts when one of the men asks the lady of the house--Anna--to borrow some eggs. After dropping and cracking the eggs a few times, Peter's accomplice--Paul--shows up and asks to try out one of Anna's husband Georg's golf clubs, which he uses to kill their dog. They keep them hostage in their own home, claiming that they want to play some games. This is what kept me interested in the movie. I was curious to see just what sort of funny games they wanted to play. But they games were not funny, nor were they interesting. One they called "Kitten in a bag" or something like that. They put a pillow case over Georg Junior's head, while making Anna strip naked. They didn't touch her; they just wanted to see if she had any flab. Next, they used the "eeny meeny miney mo" tequnique, using Anna's age to count, to figure out who they would kill first. The lucky winner was Georg Junior. Peter and Paul left after killing the boy, and Anna and Georg figured it was time to skedaddle. But Georg was badly wounded, so Anna had to go out all by herself. She stupidly decided to hitchhike, and was picked up and Peter and Paul once again. Their next game was called "The Loving Wife." They would let Anna decide how they would kill Georg--with a shotgun or with a knife--or she could take his place.





There were some very strange parts of this movie. Paul kept looking at the camera, as if he were talking to the audience. Once, it was just a wink. Then he asked what we thought Anna should do, whether or not she should play along with them. I think this was an attempt to make the audience feel like they were a part of these sick little games, making them even more uncomfortable than they already were to begin with. That, or they were trying to make the audience feel like voyeurs, watching these terrible things and doing nothing about them. I think it's an interesting idea, and could have been good if they had kept it going. But it only happened a few times, and that just made it weird. There was no suspense in this one; no horror, hardly any action whatsoever. The only thing that kept me going was interest in the games, which never became interesting. From the synopsis, it sounded like it could have been an interesting and depraved movie, but I was disappointed. I'm not saying these guys weren't depraved; they certainly were. The scary thing about it, though, is that this sort of thing actually does happen. That was the one redeeming quality here: that it was believable. The actors all did an amazing job, and I believed every bit of it. It just wasn't interesting. It was boring, especially the bit where Anna sits on a chair and stares into space for about five minutes. Then she gets up, turns the TV off, and stares into space for another five minutes. That's unacceptable in my book. Movies are supposed to hold your attention, not make you twiddle your fingers waiting for something to happen.

I found out that there is an American remake of this movie starring Michael Pitt, an actor that I thoroughly enjoy. I actually would like to see this, because I'm used to seeing Mr. Pitt play introverted characters who are easily pushed around. If he does indeed play Paul, this should be a nice change for me. If he's Peter, it won't be much different. But I digress. This movie was disappointing, and it definitely isn't for everyone. It's a little disturbing, but not enough for me.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

• Georg is pronounced much differently than I thought it was.
• Beware of skinny-legged golfer boys and their chubby accomplices.
• Don't let anyone borrow your eggs--EVER.

#120 -- Foreign Movie Challenge: Sick Nurses (2007)

Directors: Piraphan Laoyont & Thodsapol Siriwiwat
Rating: 4/5

A male doctor was dating a man who wanted to marry him. He told his boyfriend that he couldn't marry a man, so the boyfriend had a sex change. Instead of marrying him/her, like he promised, he started sleeping with his/her sister--and all the other nurses at the hospital too, it seems. Oh, and this was kind of a mad doctor, because he sold corpses to some unknown buyer. When the boyfriend/girlfriend found out about his infidelity, she went crazy and threatened to uncover their sick little business. Instead of going to prison, they all decided that she'd become their next sell. They killed her and tried to sell her; however, the buyer didn't show up on time. One of the girls mentioned that, "a soul will return to the one they love after seven days." Seven days after she died, she returned to seek vengeance, in some pretty grisly ways. The ghost possesses the girls' hands/arms and makes them harm themselves.




I love Asian horror. I've had it freak me out or just plain scare the shit out of me. But I've never watched one that grossed me out. I don't get grossed out by typical things, like most people. Decapitation and evisceration don't bother me. Actually, I think they're pretty awesome. It's simple things that I can imagine happening to me that weird me out. I can't imagine how it would feel to have my head cut off; but I can definitely imagine how it would feel to have a needle shoved down through my finger. This is the first Asian horror movie to have that effect on me, which is cool. The only thing I didn't like was that it jumped around a lot. It was in present time one minute, and all of a sudden it went to a flashback. I got kind of hard for me to keep up with what was happening, and what had already happened.

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR

• A woman is forced to cut off her own jawbone, and then she is choked by a pickled fetus.
• A woman has her cell phone embedded into her cheek.
• A woman is forced to dig through trashcans.
• A woman is almost strangled by hair.
• A woman is forced to knock her teeth out with her toothbrush.
• A woman has her head turned into a purse.

There were a lot of weird things going on in this one, as you can tell.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

• If your friend will have a sex change so you will marry him, you should probably run away from him.
• Selling dead bodies is risky business.
• Sleeping with your girlfriend's sister is even riskier business.
• Asians have very strong hair.

This was pretty good. The gore was wonderful, and that hospital was definitely painted red. There were some good gross out parts (for me, at least), but not very many real scares. The ghost wasn't very scary, especially when she sat provocatively to watch her handy-work. But overall it was a good movie. I mean, sexy Asian nurses? How can you go wrong with that?

#119 -- Foreign Movie Challenge: Let the Right One In (2008)

Director: Tomas Alfredson
Rating: 4/5

I saw the American version, Let Me In, before I saw this one. I really enjoyed the remake, but for some reason I liked this one better. It is the story of two twelve year-old kids in Sweden. The boy, Oskar, is tormented and bullied by his classmates, leaving him more than a little disturbed. Eli (pronounced kind of like "yelli") is a vampire. Eli lives with an older man who acts as a father figure to her, keeping her safe and acquiring meals for her. But he is starting to slip, which ultimately leads to his death. That leaves Eli with no one else to turn to but Oskar. They develop a friendly relationship, being that each really has no one else in their lives. When Oskar discovers Eli's secret, he is surprised and treats her with a little bit of disdain for a short while. Eventually, though, he comes to terms with his new girlfriend's identity, and they begin helping each other. Eli helps Oskar deal with his bullies, and Oskar helps Eli relocate so that she can continue living. The relationship between them is beautiful, in that "alone together" type of way. They're both outsiders, but they've got their own little secret club, so to say.



I found out while searching the web that this was actually based on a book by a Swedish author named John Ajvide Lindqvist. There are some disturbing things in the movie (murderous children, childhood sexuality, etc.), so I can only imagine how the book must be.

One thing I really liked about this one was Eli. She didn't talk much, and she didn't show feelings with her facial expressions. But there was something about her eyes. Maybe it's just me, but I could feel everything she was feeling by looking into her eyes. The actress portraying her did a wonderful job with that. And I can't deny that the language appealed to me too. I love hearing foreign languages, and it just makes it seem so much more exotic to me. I thought this movie was beautiful. It's interesting because it shows a sensitive vampire who still manages to be vicious and frightening. It's almost like Eli is Oskar's protector, because we know nothing can harm him as long as he is with her. And in a way, he is her protector as well. He protects her from her loneliness.

#118 -- Foreign Movie Challenge: Dead Snow (2009)

Director: Tommy Wirkola
Rating: 5/5

I'd been wanting to see this for a while, but I put it off for reasons unknown to me now. I studied German in high school, and I fell in love with that language. My teacher kind of dumbed it down for us, though, so when I hear German people speaking regularly, I'm totally lost and can't understand a word of it. I also love zombies, as you know. So, a German zombie movie was pretty much a must for me. But add into that that they are zombie freakin' NAZIS, and it gets a whole lot better. Nazis were pretty vicious to being with, right? So imagine undead Nazis hungry for flesh.

Back in the midst of World War II, a group of Nazi soldiers occupied the small town of Oksfjord. During a period of three years, they tortured the locals and stole their valuables. After a while, the locals became very irritated and ambushed the Nazis. Those who were not killed, ran off into the mountains and were assumed to have frozen to death. Those valuables stolen by the Nazis ended up in a little cabin in the mountains of present day Oksfjord, where a group of friends were spending their Easter vacation. They were patiently awaiting the arrival of another friend; but little did they know that their friend had become a zombie cheeseburger. Slowly the zombies showed up and started killing the group off one by one. The horror movie lover was the first to realize that they were being attacked by zombies, and he was obviously terrified; he was also the first to die (by having his head ripped in half). The reason for the zombie Nazis' uprising had something to do with those valuables in the cabin, but I'll leave you to figure that one out for yourself.






These zombies were fast, and they were ridiculously strong. Also, here's the kicker: they were actually smart. They still acted like an army, taking orders from their captain and all that jazz. Also, they had a motivation other than hunger. The hunger was definitely there, but that wasn't the only thing keeping them going. It was interesting, and a new spin on zombies, which I loved. And the gore was amazing! Who knew there were so many different ways to kill zombies out in the snow.

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR:

• A man goes to the outhouse to take a dump. As soon as he wipes his ass, a girl rushes in, takes all her clothes off and jumps his bones. When they're finished, he leaves, and she's pulled through the dump hole by a zombie.
• A girl watches her own guts being torn out.
• A man bites a zombie

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

• German outhouses have hearts carved into the doors, rather than moons.
• Getting bitten by a zombie will turn the victim into one of the undead. But biting a zombie just leaves a bad taste in their mouth.
• Germans are awesome (though I already knew that).

My final words are these: WATCH THIS MOVIE!

#117 -- Foreign Movie Challenge - Muoi: the Legend of a Portrait (2007)

Director: Tae-kyeong Kim
Rating: 4/5

I've seen many bloggers doing challenges. I wanted to do one, but I couldn't find any that were still active, so I decided to do my own. For the next seven days, I will watch nothing but foreign movies. If you'd like to join me in this challenge, just let me know so I can check out what you're doing and follow you if I haven't already. Today's entry in the Foreign Movie Challenge is Muoi: the Legend of a Portrait.

One hundred years ago, a girl named Muoi fell in love with a handsome artist. He starting painting a portrait of her, but was unable to finish it. Muoi found out that her lover was engaged to a jealous wealthy woman. His fiance tracked Muoi down and tortured her; she had one of her legs broken, and poured acid on her. Instead of facing her lover when he returned, she hung herself and swore vengeance. Her spirit was banished into the unfinished portrait, where it remained for a short time. The seal was broken, however, and her spirit was unleashed. Her lover returned to where her portrait hung. It was said that a person could wake her up, and ask her to seek vengeance on someone who has wronged them. But there's always a price to pay.

In the present time, a young novelist from Korea--Yun-Hui--traveled to Vietnam to visit with a friend--Seo-Yeon--for help researching her second book. Her first book was about Seo-Yeon, and it was based on terrible rumors. While learning the legend of Muoi, strange things began to happen. Yun-Hui was having terrible dreams, hearing strange noises, and she started to believe in Muoi's legend. Seo-Yeon was angry because of Yun-Hui's book, and she was never able to forgive her. She wanted revenge. There was only one way to end the curse-either Yun-Hui or Seo-Yeon had to die. Or so she thought...



I really liked this one. I'd never heard of a haunted portrait, so that was new to me. It definitely had its terrifying moments, and I loved the story of Muoi. The terrible betrayal between Seo-Yeon and Yun-Hui's friends was tragic and sad, and made everything that much more understandable. The only problem I had with this one was that it took a little too long for the action to start. I love Asian horror, with all those jump-scares, and women with long black hair crawling around. It definitely had some of that, but it just took too long for me. The ending was wonderful, in an awful kind of way. I know one thing for sure: I will never betray an Asian person--EVER. Almost all the movies I've seen involve betrayal and a vengeful ghost, so they must be big on trust. Their ghost might not haunt me, but I'm sure there'd be hell to pay in some other fashion. So if there's one thing to learn from Asian horror movies, it's to be very nice to your Asian friends.

#102 -- Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009)

Directors: Yoshihiro Nishimura & Naoyuki Tomomatsu
Rating: 5/5

Oh my god, I love Asians! Good grief, they make some good movies. This movie's scare factor? Zero. Its awesome factor? 5 billion. This one is sort of like a romance/action/kung fu/horror/comedy. It appeals to everyone, so there's absolutely no excuse for not seeing it. First off, we've got Monami, a beautiful young vampire girl who transfers to Tokyo High School and falls in love with a boy named Jugon. In Japan, it is a tradition for girls to give chocolate to boys to express their love for them. Monami takes it to the next level and presents Jugon with chocolate filled with her blood, transforming him into a vampire. The only problem is Keiko, Jugon's girlfriend; she doesn't like that idea very much. Keiko and Monami get into a scuffle, causing Keiko to fall from a balcony and crush her face against the pavement below. Fortunately for Keiko, her father is not only the vice principal of their school, but he is also the Japanese Dr. Frankenstein. He puts her back together using several interesting parts.

Frankenstein Girl

There are a few things you should know if you want to fully understand how awesome Frankenstein Girl is. First: there's a group of girls at Tokyo High School that call themselves the Wrist-Cutters Club. There's an annual Wrist-Cutters Rally, in which one girl is named wrist cutting champion. So, Part 1 of Frankenstein Girl: impenetrable arms of wrist cutting champion. There's another group of girls who are obsessed with tanning; so obsessed that they've decided they want to be black. They act like typical black girls and, trust me, it's completely hilarious. One of these girls has a dream of becoming a marathon runner. Part 2 of Frankenstein Girl: legs of an aspiring runner. Part 3 of Frankenstein Girl: Lungs of a Chinese smoker, who can apparently breathe out gas fumes. So, as you can tell, Frankenstein Girl ends up being pretty damn badass.

Vampire Girl is also a badass. She has a cloak which, like a superheroes costume, gives her some special powers. She can leap great lengths, and she has the ability to turn her blood into weapons (like giant bloody swords). So with Monami, it's best to make sure you kill her100%, because wounding her only gives her a  higher advantage.

Vampire Girl and Frankenstein Girl are both in love with the same boy, and we all know that never ends well. A battle of epic proportions ensues, and it is a battle that cannot be missed! But the question is: is Frankenstein Girl badass enough to defeat Vampire Girl, with her magic vampire cloak of awesomeness?

Ah, this movie is so freaking wonderful. It's silly, it's funny, and it is a gore whore's wet dream. Seriously, the gore in this one is UNBELIEVABLE! The fight scenes are amazing, the romance between Monami and Jugon is cute, though kind of creepy at first. I'm honestly at a loss for words. I don't think it would be possible to adequately explain the amount of awesome packed into this movie. I couldn't explain all the weirdness either, because there's a shitload of that too. The only advice I can give realistically is this: WATCH THIS MOVIE NOW!