#324 -- Wolf (1994)

Director: Mike Nichols
Rating: 2.5 / 5

Let me tell you, the idea of Jack Nicholson as a werewolf if fucking amazing. I've always found him to be one creepy motherfucker, and to turn him into this supernatural beast with a hunger for people meat? Please! I was pretty sure that Wolf would be wonderful, but...well, I was wrong.

I do think that 'ol Jack is a terrific actor, and it's definitely not his fault that this movie didn't work for me. He played a guy named Will Randall who, after getting into a car accident, was bitten by a wolf. Afterward, he returned to his job at a publishing company, where he was being put out of a job by his younger co-worker (who happened to be sleeping with his wife...and this guy was supposed to be his friend). He left his wife and started sleeping with Michelle Pfeiffer who, seriously, should have played his daughter instead. That whole relationship made me uncomfortable for some reason. He was working on a way to get revenge on that asshole I mentioned earlier, and hopefully get his job back in the process. Oh, and sometimes he'd wake up thinking that he might have killed someone in the middle of the night.

Really, this is more of a drama movie that focuses on Will's relationships and the betrayals that he has to face. All that's okay, I guess, but I really didn't give a shit. The werewolf seemed like more of an afterthought, rather than the main focus of the movie. As a drama, it would have been better had Will fallen deeply in love with Pfeiffer's character. He said he loved her, sure, but I wasn't really able to feel that. All I felt was that he was extremely angry about his friend betraying him, and that maybe that was why he couldn't control his transformations as well as he should have. As a horror movie....there are several ways that it could have been better. The pacing was extremely slow, and the whole thing was just boring. They spent more time in the bedroom than anything, and even that wasn't any good. It wasn't steamy or sexy at all, because the entire time I was thinking that he was way too old for her. If she'd called him Daddy, I would've lost it. Also, Jack Nicholson as a werewolf wasn't as awesome as I'd thought it would be. He just looked weird. Maybe it was their special effects; I'm not sure. But I think he's creepier the way he is, without putting on those contacts and fangs and dumping all that extra hair on him.

There was a fight scene at the end of the movie, so there is some action; but it takes far too long for it to show up, and when it does, it's not that great. It's lame. So, I'm sorry Jack, I love you. But as for Wolf...I didn't hate it, but I definitely didn't like it. I grew up in the '90s, and I still love all those goodies. It was a great decade for cartoons, that's for sure. But I'm starting to think that the '90s wasn't the decade for horror...at all.

#314 -- Dino Wolf (2009)

Director: Fred Olen Ray
Rating: 2 / 5

Yes, what you're seeing actually does exist. When I stumbled upon this, I was hoping that it would be a delightfully cheesy creature feature with plenty of gore and laughs, whether intentional or not. What I got was a mediocre, cheesy creature feature with plenty of gore and definitely unintentional laughs. It wasn't what I'd hoped for -- something that would be so horrible that it was funny and entertaining. But I wasn't laughing because I thought it was funny; I was laughing because I couldn't believe how stupid it was.

You might think it has something to do with a dinosaur/wolf hybrid type of creature. You wouldn't be completely wrong. It's actually a prehistoric wolf creature whose fossils have been combined with human DNA. So, pretty much, an extremely lame werewolf. I don't even remember exactly why these scientists decided to fuse human and wolf DNA together, but I really don't care. All of that was just their way of putting a spin on the werewolf story, and it doesn't really matter. Basically what we have here is a dude in a wolf suit -- a suit that, by the way, doesn't even have a working mouth that moves -- pretending to eat some stupid people out in the woods. But the bad effects are something that can definitely be overlooked; that's not the problem. There were some almost interesting sub-plots going on, but since they were only somewhat interesting at best, even they couldn't save it.

So, here we go. There's some kind of research facility out in bumfuck nowhere that's conducting experiments on said prehistoric wolf fossils. The wolf/human DNA fusion was successful, and they had the creature contained for a while. But then it got out, of course. There was no reason for it getting out, either. It just happened. I don't recall an explanation of failed security or malfunctioning locks or whatever. It just escaped.   The movie follows a local sheriff, his goofy son, some CIA agents, and some scientists as they trek through the woods searching for the Dino Wolf so that they can capture it. The woman whose DNA was inside the wolf was the only who was safe, because she was kind of like its "mom." It had a soft spot for her, and she was emotionally attached to it as well. So, the movie did attempt to add some romanticism, something to tug at the heartstrings, but...let's face it. That's just dumb. Maybe if the movie had been made better, that sort of thing would have worked. But here, with these actors so horrible that you wanted them to get eaten, and the wolf that looked so stupid you just wanted to laugh..nothing works. The wolf was actually hidden for a while, because of all the blurs it caused by its super speed (or maybe just a bad camera?). But once you do get a good look at it, you'll wish you hadn't. The mystery of it almost made it okay, because it allowed me to at least convince myself it might be cool. But once it was showed up close, it took away all of that. It wasn't cool. Not at all.

If you think about it, the story actually isn't that bad. But like I said, everything else about the movie was so bad that it just made it look stupid. It was lame. Here, a couple weeks after watching it, I'm finding it hard to remember the little details. Lame wolf eating people in the woods. So what?

#295 -- Van Helsing (2004)

Director: Stephen Sommers
Rating: 4 / 5

Okay, you caught me. This one isn't technically a horror movie, but I don't anyone will argue with my reasons for including it on a horror movie blog. Anyone who hasn't seen this can figure out the basic story of it; and anyone who has seen it probably loves it. It is a wonderful movie with a very interesting and different version of the story of Dracula.

In the beginning, we see Dracula killing Dr. Frankenstein. He had brought Frankenstein to Transylvania to create the Monster for him, and once he'd succeeded, Dracula felt he didn't need the doctor anymore. That, and Victor refused to let Dracula use his creation for evil, like he'd planned. But Dracula didn't count on the Monster having a working brain that could form its own thoughts. The Monster ran away, holding its father in its arms. They ended up at the windmill that the angry mob burned to the ground. Cut to one year later, and we meet Van Helsing as he's attempting to kill the evil Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde kind of looks like an ogre, he's extremely agile, and he jumps around like a ninja. He finishes Mr. Hyde off, and he is then sent to Transylvania to get rid of Dracula.

Once in Transylvania, he meets the beautiful Anna. She's from a family that has been trying for hundreds of years to kill Dracula, and she will be his aide as he attempts to do the same. Along with these two, there's also a friar/weapons inventor named Carl. They eventually meet up with the Monster, who isn't quite as dead as Dracula had originally thought. They all form a very wonderful team, each with their own assets to help out on the mission. Carl is the brains; Anna and Van Helsing are the brawn, and the Monster has some inside information on Dracula that will help them greatly. Turns out, Dracula needed the monster because he was the key to Dr. Frankenstein's machine, and if he was captured once again, Dracula would be able to raise thousands of his children. Also, the only thing that can kill Dracula is a werewolf. Anna's brother is turned into a werewolf, and we assume for a while that he's the one who will kill Dracula. But he is killed by Van Helsing, and Dracula's real enemy is much more powerful.

There are so many great things going on in this movie that I honestly don't know where to begin. First of all, there's that intro. The beginning is my favorite part of the movie, because it shows a battle between Dracula and Victor Frankenstein. I know there must be more movies that bring these two together, but this is the first one I've seen, and I fucking love it. Frankenstein's Monster looks very different than he did originally, but he doesn't look bad at all; he actually looks really great. I was happy that they didn't change the character's traits too much too. He was still a benevolent and misunderstood creature, and at first, Van Helsing was the only person who could see that. He became a great friend and ally to the rest of them. Not only did it combine Dracula and Frankenstein, but it had the Wolf Man as well. The only thing it was missing was a few zombies, and then it would have been a horror fan's wet dream. There were also a lot of great people here. There was Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing, Kate Beckinsale as Anna, and Robbie Coltrane as Mr. Hyde. Yep, fucking Hagrid. He's practically un-recognizable, but it's just god-damn wonderful. Maybe it's just me, since I'm a huge Harry Potter fan, but I was so excited when I realized.

Besides all that, when you get down to the core of it, it's just a great movie. It has a great story that combined a lot of my favorite things, and it was different than any other I'd seen. It was full of non-stop action, wonderful fight scenes (with a bunch of people who were apparently raised as ninjas), amazing special effects, and a nice little love story thrown in for good measure (or to appeal to women...). It was exciting, different, funny at times and sad at times. Overall, it's very simple -- Van Helsing is a wonderful movie, and even though it might not technically be a horror movie, every horror fan should see it.

#245 -- Dark Wolf (2003)

Rating: 2.5 / 5
Director: Richard Friedman

I didn't really know what to expect from this movie going into it. On the surface (before you watch it, that is) it seems pretty cool. It features my favorite bad guy, Kane Hodder, and it was directed by the same guy who directed the Friday the 13th TV series. It claims to be a sexy and terrifying movie about a werewolf looking for a mate. So it definitely sounds promising. But does it deliver? No, not really.

The story is interesting enough, I guess, but it wasn't executed in a way that made it fun to watch. So, let's take a look at the plot. Apparently there are two different kinds of werewolves, pure bred and hybrid. I couldn't really tell the difference other than that the supposed hybrid looked like a full-on wolf, while the so-called pure blood looked like a half human/half wolf (which seems backwards, if you ask me.) So, the hybrid wolf, or the "dark wolf" needed a mate so that he could get rid of the pure blood race altogether, and then eventually the humans as well. Or something like that. From what I could gather, there was only one purebred left, and that was a cute little waitress named Josie. She's informed by a police officer (who also doubles as a werewolf hunter) that the dark wolf is hunting her, and he makes it his job to protect her (well, actually, her old protector getting killed made it his job). He also tells her that anyone she touches will be hunted down and killed, because the dark wolf will follow her scent. So there's plenty of people getting killed in bloody ways.

I think the only thing people will find appealing about the movie is the nudity. It starts off with boob shots, and there's even a million-year long scene where two naked chicks in body paint make out with each other. I guess that's why it calls itself sexy. And I'm pretty sure that, when the dark wolf finally found Josie, he started humping her. So if you're into wolf on girl

action, then you might like that bit too. But other than that, it's a poorly made movie. Like I said, the story was okay. The gore was pretty decent as well, though too much of the actual killing was hidden, or the kills they showed just lacked the necessary oompf. The werewolf makeup looked cheesy. So cheesy, in fact, that they didn't even want us to see that much of it. It was mostly just close-up shots of its eyes. But I can deal with a cheesy, rubber costume. What got me were the transformation scenes. They were 100% animated, and it looked like it belonged in a bad video game.

So, if you must, watch this movie for the same reason I did--Kane Hodder, and he was great of course. All of the actors actually did a great job with what they had to work with. They weren't the problem. Blame it on bad CGI and dullness.

#186 -- Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Rating: 4.5 / 5
Director: Drew Goddard

Upon a first look, you'll think this is just like any other cliche horror movie. There's a group of college kids out in the woods, and they start to die. Even the kids themselves are pretty cliche. There's the whore, the jock, the smart guy, the stoner, and the sweet innocent girl that everyone roots for. Personally, I was rooting for the jock, but that's another issue entirely. But, you'll know by the trailers and various previews that it's actually quite different. Everything these people are going through is controlled by an outside force. But I don't think you could possibly realize just how different it is until you watch it.

It all started in the cellar of the cabin. There were various objects that seemed fairly normal; but they were special gadgets, and they would decide the group's fate. Whichever object they found the most interest in would release some sort of adversary. In their case, it was a family of torturous zombies. I think the family's father was abusive, and he killed the entire family; but it didn't go very much into their story, rather than reading a few pages from the daughter's diary. They looked kind of swampy, which I guess was from being in the gross lake waters for so long. They called them zombies, but they weren't the eat-people kind of zombies. They killed them with saws, bear traps, and whatever else they could get their hands on. All the while, everything was being controlled by some people in a control room. The kids could decide the outcome somewhat, but it was mostly rigged. The whole time, there were chemicals being released into the cabin. It would change the way they thought, and steer their actions toward whatever the directors wanted them to do. Of course, it didn't have much of an effect on the stoner, because his marijuana cancelled the effect of the chemicals. There was also a wall between the cabin area and the "real world," and there really was no way across it. We found this out when Mr. Jock decided to try to jump his motorcycle through it. It didn't end very well for him.


At the end there was supposed to be only one: the virgin. They said that the virgin's death was optional, and it was decided by fate, rather than the puppeteers. But that didn't go very well for them. In the end, there were two. I was actually kind of confused about that, though. The one they said was the virgin was not a virgin. Something was said at the beginning of the movie about her sleeping with one of her professors. So, my question is this: were they rooting for the wrong one? Anyways, they found their way back to the control room, and they learned the truth of what was happening to them. It was a scheme much bigger than just wanting them dead. In the building, there were cubes filled with different sorts of creatures; any of them could have been unleashed on the kids. There were zombies (real zombies), demons, killer clowns, killer unicorns, werewolves, a Pinhead-type guy, giant serpents, giant spiders, and a shit load of other things. There was even something they called a merman, but it looked nothing like any merman I've ever seen before. It was actually very interesting.

So, it started out just like any other horror movie would; but it ended up being completely different, and I really liked it. The only problem I had was the direction they took with the creatures. With all those other awesome things available, they chose the swampy zombies? I'm talking about the directors/screenwriters, not the characters. They could have chosen something much better. I personally would have liked to see the big pin-head like guy. There was some sort of puzzle ball that would have brought him to them. He had saw blades stuck in his head, he was big, and he definitely looked very dangerous. I would have liked to see what he would have done to them. Some of the things I understand would have made the movie less appealing (like the killer clown; there are so many of those), but some things would have been badass. But they did what they did, and I still really loved this movie. I'd been wanting to see it for a long, long time, and I'm so freaking glad that I finally did. So, what are my last words on this movie? Look at that picture above, the one to the left. That's Chris Hemsworth. 'Nuff said.

#179 -- Underworld (2003)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Len Wiseman

I'm going to surprise you by saying that I found this movie On Demand. It wasn't on Fearnet, because they wouldn't dare to have such a good movie grace their VOD channel; it was on one of the premium channels, but I can't remember which one. I was really excited when I found it because, for some reason, I had never seen it before. I'd always been interested in it, but I never got around to watching it. Now I'm really glad I did. It is a vampire movie like no other I've ever seen before. It's also a werewolf movie unlike any I've ever seen.

A long time ago, werewolves were slaves to vampires. One werewolf in particular, Lucian, happened to fall in love with the daughter of the vampire Lord. They married, though it was frowned upon, and Sonya became pregnant. Instead of allowing the "abomination in her womb" thrive and becoming a member of his coven, Lord Viktor had his own daughter killed: burned alive, while Lucian watched. Ever since then, there was a terrible war between the vampires and the lycans. Selene was the character the the movie centered on. She was a vampire warrior, and she was intent on destroying every last one of the werewolves because she believed they killed her family. She learned differently later on, but I'll leave you to figure that one out for yourself. Anyway, Selene discovered that the werewolves had been stalking a human man, and it seemed strange that they would be interested in him as something other than food. So she took him from them, but she wasn't able to save him from a life altering bite from Lucian. Then she was in a bit of a pickle, because she kind of wanted to kill him. Everyone else in her coven certainly wanted him dead, but Selene had grown feelings for him, so she kept him safe.

Eventually we learned that Lucian needed Michael (the human) for his blood. He'd been working on figuring out a way to mix the species of vampire and werewolf, so that nothing like his story with

Sonya would have to happen to anyone else. And Michael's blood was the answer. Michael ended up turning into a vampire werewolf hybrid, and it was pretty fucking bad ass.

Everything about this movie was wonderful. The beautiful Kate Beckinsale played Selene, and she was absolutely amazing. I liked how it turned the werewolves into the sympathetic characters, and it made me angry at a creature that I usually love (vampires). I was on the lycans' side, because I felt for Lucian, and I hoped that he would succeed so that Michael and Selene could be together. Of course, I don't know yet if all that worked out, because I know their other Elder will be rising in the second movie. I haven't seen any of the others, but I'm really excited to check them out. Anyways, let's talk technical shit. The effects were good, of course, but I did think the werewolves looked kind of weird. Michael, as the hybrid, looked way better, and he was a whole hell of a lot stronger. I loved the atmosphere in this too. It was filmed beautifully; everything was dark, but not in the sense that I couldn't see shit, like a lot of movies are. The characters were easy to care for (or hate, accordingly), and I could actually feel something while I was watching it. But what I liked most was the story of it, and how different it was from anything I've ever seen. I was so excited to be able to see a half vampire, half werewolf. I can't believe it took me so long to get into this series, and I can't wait to check out the rest of the movies and see what happens between Selene and Michael. So if you're like me, and you haven't yet checked this out, please do so immediately. You won't regret it, and you'll thank me for it later.

Some more screen caps, 'cause I can

#141 -- "B" Challenge: Big Bad Wolf (2006)

Director: Lance W. Dreesen
Rating: 4/5

The "A" challenge is done, so now I'm moving onto the B's. I shouldn't have any problem finding movies starting with this letter, seeing as horror movies like to have the word "bloody" or something like it in the title. I might be surprised, though; who knows? I watched this movie last night on television. I wasn't expecting too much, since most of the movies I watch on TV really aren't all that great. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how entertaining Big Bad Wolf was. Everything about it was good; it wasn't a mind-blowing spectacular entry into the horror genre, but it was definitely very entertaining. First off, we saw a couple of guys out in the woods. What they were doing, I'm not really sure. I think they were in Africa somewhere on a safari. Maybe. But anyways, the two that we saw were talking to the other--who had gotten separated from them--through a walkie talkie. They heard a terrifying roar and went to investigate. One of them is killed, and the other follows shortly afterwards, but not before he has his legs torn off by the strange creature that killed his friend. The third member of the party, Charlie, returned to find his brother leg-less and dead. He shot the creature, but somehow he knew that wasn't the end of it. Cut to seven years later, and college freshman Derek was getting ready for a trip with a couple of his classmates. He was pledging for a fraternity, and I guess to prove to the popular kids that he was worth it, they were going out to his stepfather's cabin in the woods for a weekend of fun. There were six kids in all at the cabin: Derek; the popular dipshits, Alex, Jason, Melissa, and Cassie; and Derek's long-time friend Sam (don't you dare call her Samantha), a badass biker chick played by Kimberly J. Brown (from Halloweentown, anyone remember that?). So they got to the cabin after driving around in circles for five hours, and they commenced with the partying. Sam was, of course, having a horrible time. She just didn't like the company, but other than that everything was okay. Alex and Cassie were in the bedroom having their fun; Melissa and Jason were outside having their fun; and Derek and Sam were inside chatting. Everything went wrong, though, when Melissa was attacked by some huge beast. Jason ran for it, and almost made it back into the cabin. Almost. His legs were torn off, just like Derek's dad. They shut the door on the beast, only for him to come in through the bedroom window and rape Cassie. It killed her and Alex, but Derek and Sam were able to escape. They went back home, safe and sound. They knew that they were not attacked by any normal animal. Sam's points were these: it walked on two legs, it wore pants, and it could talk. Yep, this werewolf talked to them. And he was funny as hell. He even referenced the Three Little Pigs when trying to break into the cabin. "Little pigs, let me in, or I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll rip your guts out!" He had all sorts of funny little things to say. Derek and Sam soon began to suspect that Derek's asshole of a stepfather, Mitch, was actually the werewolf. With a little snooping, a DNA sample, and his uncle Charlie's telling of the true story of his father's death, they knew the truth. And they had to stop him.

Like I said, this one was definitely entertaining. Even though the werewolf could talk, it stuck to the typical werewolf formula. Full moon, silver bullets, and things like that. Also, it was a wolf-man, instead of 100% wolf, which I always like. Mitch the man was a complete dick, but Mitch the werewolf was funny as shit. Also, I've got to mention Ms. Kimberly J. Brown. I have always been a huge fan of Halloweentown ('cause I'm cool like that), so it was really awesome to see her in this. She was a biker chick, for sure. She had the leather jacket, the nose/lip/tongue piercing, and she was a bad-ass. Everyone was scared of her, and she could definitely take care of herself--and Derek, for that matter. She was just awesome, and I loved it. The story was pretty predictable. I wasn't really surprised at anything other than how much I enjoyed it. The ending was pretty much what you'd expect from a werewolf movie, but that's okay. Even with those couple of things, I still think it was done really well. All of the actors did a wonderful job, there was just enough gore to please me, and the creature effects weren't all that bad either. But what got me was the talking werewolf. I've already mentioned it, but I'll say it again. It wasn't really the fact that he could talk; it was all about what he said. I think that, if he'd been saying serious things about how he was hungry and wanted to eat them, it would have been seriously stupid. But since he was comical and he made us laugh, it worked. That was the only silly part of the movie, though. The rest played out like a horror movie. Kids get killed, survivors try to get revenge on what killed them, while trying to keep from getting themselves killed in the process. It wasn't scary, but it was a good movie. Oh, and also: Mitch would start transforming when he got angry or horny. Yes, horny. He was able to control it on normal days, but on the full moon he just couldn't hold it back. He was a whore, I'll tell you that much. He raped Cassie earlier on in the movie, and he tried to have a go at Sam too. I can't really blame him for that, though, considering the way she collected his DNA sample. Anyways, this is some light entertainment that'll have you giggling. So check it out!

#138 -- "A" Challenge: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Director: John Landis
Rating: 4/5

It's always seemed to me that this movie is a pretty big deal in the horror world. It seems that it has a big following and a lot of fans. So I feel pretty stupid saying that this is the first time I've seen it. I don't know how it eluded me for so long, but it is what it is. Anyways, it's about two friends--David and Jack--who are backpacking through Europe. They plan on heading over to Rome when they're finished with London, in hopes that Jack's crush will meet them there and give Jack a little somthin' somethin'. In order to get out of the cold, they go into a little pub called The Slaughtered Lamb. It even has a picture of an impaled lamb's head over the door. The pub patrons are not very inviting, and when asked about a pentagram engraved on the wall, they get a little bit stiff. They're not complete assholes, though, so they warn the friends before they leave. They tell them to beware the moon, stay away from the moors, and keep to the road. Being young and adventurous, they ignore this advice. They stray from the road, head directly into the moors, and ignore the moon altogether. That is until they hear a strange howling and growling nearby. Fearing that there's a wild dog about, they start running. But there are some things that people just can't outrun. Jack is killed by the beast and David is hospitalized and remains unconscious for three weeks. Everything seems pretty normal at first, until he is visited by his dead friend Jack. Jack lets him know that they were attacked by a werewolf, and not by an escaped lunatic (as the police report stated). Since Jack died a very unnatural death, he's stuck in limbo, and the only way for him to move on is to destroy the werewolf's bloodline. Jack tells David that he is the last werewolf. David doesn't believe it for a while, and just thinks he's gone crazy. That is until two days later, on the full moon, when he transforms into a monster and kills several people around London.

The transformation scenes are actually pretty good. We see almost every bit of the transformation, and it isn't as bad as you might think the '80s would produce. The werewolf itself, though, is a different story. It's not that bad, but it's not that great either. It's kind of weird looking. Anyways, David has to figure out how keep himself from killing everyone in London, while keeping his new girlfriend (the nurse who cared for him in the hospital) safe. He is constantly visited by Jack, who keeps trying to convince David to take his own life. He introduces him to all the people he killed, and they each try to convince him as well. He tries once, after he woke up naked in a zoo, but he just can't do it. So, in the end, David will have to be stopped the same way as all the werewolves before him.

I enjoyed this one, of course. It had all the '80s cheese that I love (well, not all of it, but it had enough). The werewolf, like I said, looked weird, but it wasn't bad enough to ruin the movie for me. I liked David, because he was a cool guy with a little problem. I can imagine that this was a very big deal when it was released in 1981, but seeing it for the first time in 2012 kind of dimmed it for me, I guess. If I had seen it when I was a kid, I'd probably still be obsessed today. It's amazing what time can do to a good movie. I'm not really sure why, though. Anyways, I really liked it and I understand why it's gotten such a great following.

#93 -- Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2011)

Director: Kevin Munroe
Rating: 4/5

Going into this, I knew that it was based on comic books. So I knew it would either be really bad or pretty freakin' awesome. I haven't read the comic books, though I REALLY want to, but I'm sure they're badass. Dylan Dog is a private investigator for monsters: zombies, vampires, and werewolves. He's investigating the theft of a talisman belonging to a family of werewolves. If whoever has this talisman uses it properly, some bad shit will go down. It will create a horrible monster (even worse than the ones Dylan already knows) that is seemingly unstoppable. I thought this was going to be a horror comedy. While it did have some funny parts, it was just a good movie. Dylan encounters several werewolves (one of which is professional wrestler Kurt Angle), some very smart vampires, wimpy zombies, monster hunters, and one of the biggest, baddest zombies I've ever seen in my life.



While everything in this movie is good, the best part to me was Dylan's best friend Marcus. This guy was hilarious. After being turned into a zombie and losing his arm, the only replacement limb they can find for him is that of an african american. That in itself is pretty funny. But the zombies in this movie are very weak, and they're scared of everything. So, being a zombie wuss, Marcus makes for some very entertaining movie viewing. It definitely gives a different view of the monsters we know and love, and that's new and refreshing. Overall, it was very enjoyable.

#78 -- Skinwalkers (2006)

Director: James Isaac

Rating: 3 / 5

A lot of werewolves are very accepting of what they are. In fact, they not only accept it, but they embrace it; they love it. They love the feeling of tearing into human flesh; they describe it as being like a drug. They are addicted. But there are some other werewolves who do not see it that way. The see it as a curse, and all they want is for it to end. According to Native American legend, a half-breed boy will end the curse forever. Once the boy turns thirteen, he will have the power to end it all. A red moon will signal the coming of the boy's thirteenth birthday, and for one pack of werewolves, it is not a happy occasion.

Skinwalkers follows Timothy, the thirteen year old half-breed boy, and his family. All are werewolves except for his mother and a family friend. His family soon becomes a target for an opposing pack of werewolves who wish to kill Timothy in order to keep their animal-like lives. They do not want it to end, and they will do whatever they can to stop him from doing so. Timothy and his family must run for their lives in order to save him from those who wish to kill them; and also, to be able to lead normal lives. Many are lost on the way, sacrificing their lives in order to keep him safe. But will Timothy ever really be safe? 

I liked this movie. There was a good bit of action, though not a whole lot of gore. What was interesting was that the wolves in Timothy's family chained themselves up at night, so they couldn't get out and kill anyone. They're kind of like vegetarian werewolves. But it wasn't that they didn't want to eat people. The problem was that they did, and if they ever fed on a human, they would be stuck. They would become like the other Skinwalkers who embrace and love what they are, and they definitely didn't want that to happen. I liked this because it wasn't a typical werewolf movie, and they were actually werewolves. They were like wolfmen (the way they're supposed to be), and I like that. It wasn't the most wonderful movie I've ever seen, and the fear factor was practically zero. But the story was interesting, the characters were likable, and it was filmed beautifully. It's interesting and I'm glad I watched it. 

#75 -- Ginger Snaps: Unleashed (2004)

Director: Brett Sullivan

Rating: 3 / 5

This movie picks up where Ginger Snaps left off. It doesn't make much sense for this movie to also be called Ginger Snaps (except, of course, because it's part of a series). Ginger already snapped, and Ginger is dead (she appears to Brigitte through hallucinations, though). It would make more sense for this one to be called Brigitte Snaps, but I guess that just doesn't sound as cool. If you remember the first movie, you know that Brigitte was infected by Ginger's blood, and she is now fighting her own change. She keeps shooting the Monkshood (the cure she found in the first movie) into her veins, but she learns that it only slows the transformation; it doesn't stop it. And to top all of that off, there is another werewolf hunting Brigitte down. She runs, but he always finds her. What does he want? Well, he wants to mate with her.

Brigitte ends up being admitted into a mental facility/rehab, and without her Munkshood, the other residents are in danger. Luckily, she gets help from a fellow patient, Ghost (who is staying at the hospital with her badly burned grandmother), to escape. They go back to Ghost's home, set traps for the monster hunting Brigitte, and try to keep Brigitte under control. But we soon learn that Ghost has more than a few mental issues, and Brigitte doesn't exactly get the ending that she'd hoped for.

This is a good installment to the Ginger Snaps trilogy, and Ghost adds just enough of a twist without becoming irritating or stupid. In the first movie, in the first stages of Ginger's transformation, Ginger was quite sexy. Brigitte, however, is just nasty. She does not make a pretty werewolf, but I think that's what they were going for. She was definitely scarier than Ginger. While I did enjoy this movie, it just can't compare to the first, in my opinion. But if you're a big fan of the first, you definitely need to check this one out. The first one left us wondering what would happen to Brigitte after she killed Ginger, and this one answers that question for us. 

#53 -- The Wolf Man (2010)

Director: Joe Johnston

Rating: 3 / 5

Lately, all werewolves have turned into wolves. I know what you're thinking: "But, they're supposed to be wolves!" Wrong. They're not wolves. They're werewolves – meaning MANbeast. It seems like most werewolf movies these days have men turning completely into wolves, rather than a man/wolf hybrid. This version of The Wolf Man – well, it's an actual wolf man, and I appreciate that greatly. 

A man, Lawrence, returns home to investigate the death of his brother, Ben. A beast has been loose in the town; some believe it is a wolf, some believe it is a lunatic, but some others know the truth. When Lawrence tries to kill the beast, he is bitten. He is stitched up by a gypsy woman and returns home. But he is not normal, of course. He transforms during a full moon and commits terrible murders. He is committed to an asylum. The doctor makes himself, and everyone else, believe that he is actually not a werewolf, but a crazy person who has convinced himself that he's a werewolf. Even though they've seen him in wolf form, they go along with it, for whatever reason. But there's still another beast out there…So Lawrence must keep hidden from the police, while simultaneously trying to save the woman he loves from the other beast, who wishes to kill her. 

The transformation scenes are graphic and visually stunning. It is amazing how real it looks; I was incredibly impressed with the effects. This movie includes an epic werewolf battle, a story of loss and love, and betrayal. It is a beautiful film, visually, and each character is well developed. My opinion is this: I can appreciate that it is a good and well made movie, but I didn't love it. That's not because it had flaws, or just wasn't good – as I've said before. It is simply personal tastes. I can appreciate the movie for what it is, and I would recommend it to just about anyone.

#39 -- The Beast Within (1982)

Director: Philippe Mora

Rating: 2 / 5

I find myself wondering if I've already seen all the good b-movies there are to see. I've seen a lot, and a lot of them I like. But lately I've been stumbling upon the not-so-good ones. So I ask: where have all the good b-movies gone? This wasn't too horrible; it just wasn't what I expected. What I expected was a horror comedy, but what I got was something different. Usually you can tell when a movie is purposely stupid, but I think this one genuinely tried to be scary. But with the story they came up with, that was just not in the cards. 

A married couple gets into a car accident and ends up in the woods. The man goes for help and leaves his wife and dog at the car. The dog starts barking like crazy, so the lady lets him out of the car and ends up following him deeper into the woods. The dog is killed - smashed against a tree - and the woman is raped by a big hairy creature. 

Seventeen years later, the couples' son is having medical problems. He suffers from an out-of-whack pituitary gland, rapid growth, and constant visions of a strange house. He is afraid he is going to die, and the doctors don't know what is wrong. They believed, at first, that the problem was genetic. But upon testing both of his parents and realizing that they are fine, they don't know what else to do. But Mama knows. She knows that her husband is not the biological father, but rather the man beast that raped her seventeen years ago. So they go on a quest to find that man to get medical records and such, hoping to save their son's life. They travel back to the place of the incident, and start digging around. It is apparent that people in the town do not want them to know anything. The judge refuses information, and the newspaper man is evasive. The only help they get is from the sheriff, who tells them that, around the time of the incident, a man was killed - partially eaten and his house set on fire. 

Meanwhile, Michael (man-beast-child) has escaped from the hospital and is roaming around the town his parents have traveled to. He kills newspaper man and returns to the hospital. It is very obvious that his health has drastically improved. He escapes the hospital and then is captured so many times I lost count. It actually starts to get annoying after a while. 

Anyways, there isn't much to this movie. It's a little bit boring. Much of the time we spend watching is waiting for Michael to transform into a werewolf - because we know that's what it is. Well, I think it was supposed to be a werewolf anyway. But he's going around town killing members of a certain family. He develops a crush on a girl from that family and warns her to leave town. On her way, though, she crashes her car and ends up not leaving at all. We eventually learn the story. A woman cheated on her husband with Michael's father. When Husband found out about this, he killed his wife. He then locked Michael's father in the cellar. He knew Daddy was a werewolf, and being an undertaker, it wasn't difficult to acquire food for him. But he eventually died down in that cellar. And now, it seems, his spirit has returned to possess his son. 

And that's the gist of it. There's really not much more to it. The best part was when Michael FINALLY transformed. It was incredibly AWFUL. CGI does terrible things to people - like make them look like retarded aliens of the asian persuasion. 

I can't make any excuses for this one. Some people might say, "Well, what do you expect from the '80s?" But I happen to love '80s horror movies, and I have seen FAR better. Like I said before, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen. But I won't be watching it again, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone other than people like me. If you want to see every horror movie ever made, then of course check it out. Otherwise, you're not missing much.

#11 -- Ginger Snaps (2000)

Director: John Fawcett

Rating: 5 / 5

Out by sixteen, or dead in the scene, but together forever

This movie stars Katharine Isabelle (who has become one of my favorite actresses) and Emily Perkins (you might remember her as a young Beverly in Stephen King's "It") as two outcast sisters in high school. They are picked on constantly, but Ginger doesn't mind at all; she is a tough girl and can stick up for her self. Brigitte is the shy one, and she needs her sister.

For a project in school, they take photos of each other "being dead." These photos are completely incredible and show exactly how twisted the sisters are. They also have a pact to commit suicide when they both turn sixteen. And their motto is "out by sixteen or dead in the scene, but together forever."

When a girl at school hurts Brigitte, Ginger vows to get revenge. They plan to kidnap the girl's dog and hide it, to make it look as if it were killed by The Beast of Baily Downs (a beast who has been killing the local dogs). When they get there, though, the dog is already dead. So, they decide to move him to be sure that she will see. In the midst of all this, Ginger gets "the curse." If you're a female reading this, you know what that means. If you're a male, well...I'm sure you can figure it out. Anyhow, as they're leaving Ginger is attacked by a wild animal (The Beast). 

Immediately Ginger begins to change. She becomes sexually promiscuous and distant from her sister. She is fighting with other girls and getting in trouble at school. She starts off by killing the neighbor's dog ("He just kept barking, and barking, and barking"), and ends up killing one of her teachers and a janitor. They begin spiraling downward as Ginger tries to have as much fun as possible, while Brigitte searches desperately for a cure for her sister.

She finds this cure with the local stoner and pot-grower. It is a flower that they must break down into a liquid and inject into the infected. While transporting Ginger in the back of Sam's van, her change is completed. They are chased throughout their house, and Brigitte finally has the chance to inject the cure.

Yes, even as a werewolf, she still has boobs.

Ginger Snaps is one of the best werewolf movies out there. The effects are wonderful, the transformation scenes are gruesome and frightening, the characters are lovable, quirky, and interesting, and at the heart of it...it's a sweet story about two sisters who will do anything for one another. When I first saw it, it scared me half to death; now it's easily one of my favorite movies. So if you're into werewolves, you've probably already seen it. But if not, you should go do that right now!