Favorite Types of Kills

Kills are a very important aspect of horror movies; they’ve just got to be awesome. There are certain types of kills that really get my blood pumping.

Disembowelment

Dawn of the Dead

Ah, the always-amazing gutting. I love seeing someone’s guts spilling out on the floor. Zombies are pretty fucking good at this.

Impaling

Friday the 13th IV: The Final Chapter

Kind of like stabbing, only better. Seeing someone with a pole, or a sword, or any other sort of large object jutting out of the majority of their body – that’s awesome.

Bare-hands

Friday the 13th III: 3D

It’s really amazing to see a killer use nothing but their bare hands. It is a showcase of incredible strength, and it makes me happy inside. Jason Voorhees is really good at this. I love it when he squishes someone’s head, rips their heart out, rips limbs off, etc. It’s incredible.

Stabbing

Psycho

Yeah, it’s simple, but you really can’t go wrong with it. As long as the killer doesn’t rely on this alone, it’s perfectly fine. And as long as there’s lots and lots of blood, it’s great in my book.

Torture

Saw II

Yeah, I’m a sicko, but whatevs. I love seeing someone subjected to such excruciating pain that they wish they were dead – oooh yes. The Saw series is a really good example of this. I love all of Jigsaw’s devices, and those kills were so brutal they really appealed to my gore whore senses.

Creative kills

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors

These are the kind of kills that can’t be described, because they can’t be put into a category. It’s just something the writer’s came up with and put to screen. I love strange and creative kills, and seeing something I’ve never seen before.

Now, the only type of kill I consider “bad” is anything done with a gun. I hate guns. They are so fucking boring, and I’m always disappointed when I see them in horror movies. Come up with something awesome, people! Put the gun down, and grab the samarai sword. Please and thank you.
So what are your favorite types of kills? Any kills you find dull? Share!

Elements of Horror

I read a few articles about this, but most seem to look into the psychological side of things: what in our psyche draws us to horror. But that's not what I was looking for. So, I'll just tell you what I think the elements of good horror are. Movies don't have to have every single one of these to be good (because that probably wouldn't make much sense anyway), but I think they should have at least a couple.

1. A good (or at least understandable) storyline.
Of course. If we don't know what the hell is going on, we're not going to be interested. I tend to like romantic background stories involving the characters, or some other kind of sob story. It just makes me sympathize with them, and I want them to survive that much more. Plus, there's got to be a good story about the killer(s) as well. I also tend to like sad or traumatic story for them. I like that love/hate relationship I can feel for the killers.

2. Creative kills & lots of gore.
No one wants to see a bunch of people get stabbed in the gut. A knife will get boring after a while, so we need to have some creative and unique kills going on. I think A Nightmare on Elm Street is absolutely fantastic in this category. Since Freddy kills in peoples' dreams, there's literally nothing he can't do, and the resulting kills end up pretty fucking epic. Some people will say that the kills don't matter, and that the story is the most important thing, but that's a load of horseshit. The story is important, yes, but without those awesome kills why bother coming back for more? And yes, I'm a gore whore, so the bloodier and more vicious the better.

3. Lighting
I realize not all horror relies on creepy lighting, but I love the effect it can have. Something popping out of shadows, or being barely visible, or maybe just slightly blurry. I also like the kind of dark lighting a lot of supernatural horror has. It just adds a little oompf to what is already a good movie.

4. Music.
Yes, yes, yes. Think about it. There's a woman hiding, the killer is close by, and about to sneak up on her. It's something very simple, and if it is completely silent, the tension will be gone. The suspenseful music just makes our hearts beat faster.


_{I think Asian horror is very good with all of this (except the titties). Their use of lighting is amazing, the storyline is always good and the villains (or ghosts, usually) are always sympathetic. And they're always just downright creepy as hell.}

5.The setting.
It really does matter where a movie takes place. Some places just aren't scary (even though I realize some movies actually succeed in making non-scary places scary). I always like woods, carnivals, and creepy old houses.

6. Titties
Yes, I said it. I know I'm a girl, but I grew up watching 80s slasher movies. I'm set in my ways, and I stand firm by my belief that if I don't see titties, it ain't a horror movie. Not literally, of course, but it just kind of makes everything better. Everybody loves some good T & A.

7. A good villain.
This might be the most important. I already said that the killer must have a good story, but there are other things that make a good killer. He (or she) should have some sort of thing. Like, he always chains his victims up, always takes their eyes as trophies, or always jacks off over his corpses. It doesn't matter. He needs some kind of constant thing. He also must be vicious, unstoppable, and just downright awesome. He doesn't have to be super strong, but if he's not he should be super smart. If he doesn't rely on his strength to get good kills, he should rely on his brains.

8. Good victims.
Some people might say, "Who cares about them, they're going to die anyway." But it's very important. They should be likeable and interesting. Otherwise, we won't give a shit about them and the whole movie will be ruined. I've watched several movies with completely dull, and the whole thing was ruined for me. So the other characters are very important.

9. Scary moments.
This one's simple. It's those oh shit moments, the ones that make you want to jump out of your seat or shit your pants. The moments that shock & awe you and leave you on the edge of your seat begging for more. I love it.

10. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Most of my favorite movies include all of this. It's typical, but it works. There's usually a group of people getting fucked up, partying and getting it on. It's all fun and games and then BAM! A bunch of dead fuckers.

11. Comic relief.
I love when a horror movie has a certain character that is fucking hilarious. That way we can laugh, get scared for a minute, laugh again - at least until the funny-man is killed. Think of Ned in the first Friday the 13th. He was silly and made us laugh all the way until he was killed. In A Nightmare on Elm Street, the comic relief happened to be the killer, which gave us a strange but wonderful feeling. In The Evil Dead, it was the hero that was our funny-man, and we all severely love him for it. It's kind of like life. There's got to be some entertainment and some funny stuff amidst all the horror.

Zombies

Some horror fans, like myself, have an affinity for zombies. But why? Is it because we're crazy and simply MUST see copious amounts of blood and gore in order to be entertained? Are we secretly cannibals? Or, psychologists might agree, are we desperately searching for proof that death is not the end? We may never know the reason, but one thing is for sure - zombies are fucking awesome. They allow for something beautiful: the ability to love something so completely taboo. And it's all right, because they're not cannibals. We're not sickos who get off by seeing humans being eaten by other humans. We're just sickos who get off by seeing humans being eaten by MONSTERS. Zombies take an awful taboo like cannibalism and make it okay to love. But where do zombies come from? Somewhere in the world, did someone actually rise from the dead and eat his or her family? Is it just justification, or an explanation, of cannibalism? Well, no. Actually, they come from Haiti.
Back in Haiti, if you pissed off your family, they could call a voodoo priest to take care of you. The priest would give you some kind of powder, making you appear dead. You'd be treated like a corpse - buried and forgotten. But later on, the priest would dig you up. You'd still be completely human, but your senses and memory would be erased - thus, making you a "zombie." Of course, this doesn't mean a zombie as we see them today. You would basically be in a comatose state, while still awake and mobile. So it is quite obvious how the modern zombie came about. But why do the zombies we know and love eat people?
There are many arguments on this subject, but sadly we may never know. I've asked my pet zombie, but all he had to say on the topic was "Brarrrgggh." So, unfortunately, we have only theories to go on. I have a few myself.
1. Zombies have lost something very important - their lives. They're empty. They can sense life in others, and they crave it. They are desperate for the life they once had, and they will do anything to get it. And upon ingesting the life of humans, they are revitalized.2. To put it simply: they're hungry. And they're not smart enough to figure out how to work a microwave, so they revert back to the caveman ways - with an obvious twist, of course. You know what they say (I can't tell you who they are; I've been sworn to secrecy) : if you get hungry enough, you'll eat anything.3. As depicted in Return of the Living Dead, they eat us to relieve pain. After they have been dead for a period of time, rigor mortis sets in, which explains why they move in such a slow, stiff, and shuffling manner. With the rigor mortis comes the pain. It hurts them severely. And eating people (or brains as the zombie in question states) alleviates some of that pain. [this theory is actually contradicted in Return of the Living Dead 3, where the zombie finds that pain decreases the hunger she feels for human flesh.]4. It's instinct. Cats know to use the litter box; zombies know to eat people.
We may never know what goes on in their heads, if anything. If anyone has a zombie who's not a complete asshole, or has access to one that can be used for research, I would love to know. I'm very interested in these creatures, and would love any knowledge anyone might come by. Until then, I will have to be satisfied with my own theories, and continue to be intrigued by these elusive creatures.

Earliest Horror Movies

I thought that I would delve a bit into the history behind these movies that we love so much, so that we can fully understand and appreciate where the genre came from and what it has become.

Horror: an overwhelming and painful feeling caused by something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; a shuddering fear

Kinetoscopes & Nickelodeons

Thomas Edison basically invented the movie, alongside an assistant, using a certain kind of film. He came up with the Kinetoscope, which was the first device used for viewing motion pictures. It was a box-like structure with film running throughout its interior. The movies were viewed by looking into a small hole in the top of the structure. Edison eventually also created a projecting Kinetoscope. Nickelodeons were early movie theaters, and the first that focused solely on showing motion pictures. Viewers were charged five cents for entry, which is how the theater got its name.

The First Horror Movies

The first horror movie was created by none other than Thomas Edison in 1895, entitled The Execution of Mary Stuart. It was a very short film (about fifteen seconds) depicting the execution of the Queen of Scotland.



It is argued that this was, in fact, not the first horror movie. There was another entitled Le Menoir du Diable (The Devil's Castle) directed by frenchman Georges Méliès in 1896. In it, Satan is playing tricks on a couple of Knights, making things disappear and reappear. The women that appeared were delightfully frightening in their posture, and the effects were quite impressive coming from such an early and technologically primitive era. I felt a special kind of wonder viewing this, being the horror fan that I am.

The technology for incorporating sound and/or music into films had not yet been discovered, so since the films were silent, were most often accompanied by a pianist. Silent films, though certainly not for everyone, have a certain charm. You must focus completely on the images being projected, and without the distraction of music and sound can sometimes be even more frightening. It is also entertaining to see how the actors portray their characters without the use of their voices. Their motions are usually extremely exaggerated and quite comical, but this does not take away from the effect of horror. Some early silent horror films that come to mind are Nosferatu (1922), The Phantom of the Opera (1925), and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919 - which I have yet to see, but have been meaning to do so). The first horror film to incorporate sound was 1931's Dracula, starring Bela Lugosi. So that's it for my brief history lesson in horror movies. Stay tuned for more history, as we travel through the decades to discover what our favorite movie genre is all about.