7.19.2012

#123 -- Monster Brawl (2011)

Director: Jesse T. Cook
Rating: 4/5

Attention all fans of horror and wrestling: this is the movie for you. Monster Brawl was a story of...well, a monster brawl. In a secret graveyard with no audience (for safety purposes) the Monster Brawl took place. Monsters were summoned from around the world to compete in a fight-to-the-death match for the coveted monster's heavyweight championship. Before each match, we got a little bit of backstory about each monster, as well as their statistics (weight, height, number of wins, and any sort of special powers). There was also a little bit of pre-match trash talk, as there is with any good wrestling match. First up in the middleweight creature division, we had Cyclops vs. Witch Bitch, with Cyclops coming out victorious with a laser eye-beam. Next, in the middleweight undead division, was Mummy vs. Lady Vampire, with our vampire gaining the victory by ripping out the black heart of the former Pharaoh. And then we were on to the heavyweights, starting with Werewolf vs. Swamp Gut. Werewolf took the win by squashing the gigantic gut of the swamp creature. Next up was Frankenstein (the monster, not the doctor) vs. Zombie Man. At first, I was undecided on who to root for in this one, as I love both zombies and Frankenstein's Monster. I finally settled with rooting for Frankie (since there are millions of zombies and only one of him). My cheers were rewarded with Frankie taking the win by way of a headcrushing foot-stomp, which was followed by all the zombies in the graveyard coming to life to avenge their fallen comrade.



And finally, what we were all waiting for: the main event. The Monster's Heavyweight Championship match, with Frankenstein vs. Werewolf. Never in my life did I imagine I would see Frankenstein's Monster deliver an elbow-drop, but as they say: never say never. This was an incredible match, with twists and turns and complete awesomeness. I mean, Frankie vs. Wolf Man? Who would'a thunk it? So who came out victorious in this match, and who became the heavyweight champion of the world? Watch it and find out!

I actually really enjoyed this. If you think it sounds extremely silly, that's because it is. It wasn't meant to be an amazing shit-your pants type of horror movie. It was meant for entertainment, and it succeeded splendidly. If you don't go into it expecting to have your mind blown, I think you may be entertained. If you're not a fan of wrestling, you might not like it too much. But as a wrestling fan myself, I enjoyed it. The make-up was hit and miss. Some were good, some were not so good. But that wasn't what I was concerned with, so I didn't mind it too much. This one starred Jimmy Heart as the ring announcer, and Kevin Nash as Zombie Man's trainer. I also must mention the announcers. They were definitely entertaining, with some very funny comments, one of which was, "That was a wicked kick to the dick." All in all, Monster Brawl was definitely an interesting and entertaining movie. It was silly, and contained two things that I enjoy: horror and wrestling. I think in the next installment, they should include an alien, a demon, and perhaps Hades himself (since Cyclops was constantly threatening him). Check this one out if you're looking for some light entertainment.

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