#315 -- The Final (2010)

Director: Joey Stewart
Rating: 4 / 5

I was interested in this movie the moment that I happened upon it. The idea of nerds getting revenge on the cool kids has always been something that piques my interest, probably because it's something I've dreamed about for pretty much my whole life. I was on the receiving end of quite a lot of shit-talk and teasing back in middle and high school, so I know how it is. It wasn't as bad as what these kids got, but it wasn't always pleasant either. The worst I got was a bunch of guys driving by and pelting water balloons at my house. And getting shoved into a wall by some guy I'd never even seen. Other than that, it was mainly just insults shouted across the hallway or classroom that really didn't even bother me. Oh, I'm a freak? Cool. I'm weird? Thanks! I'm a dyke? You're just jealous 'cause I get more girls than you do. That kind of stuff never really bothered me. The physical torment, though limited, is what got me, not because it made me feel bad, or because it made me sad; but because it just pissed me the fuck off. I don't know you, so don't fucking touch me, asshole. But anyways...The point is, I understand being angry with people for treating you like an outsider and tormenting you just because you're different. Though I only daydreamed about sweet revenge once, and I never seriously considered getting even with any of those people, I definitely understand where these kids are coming from. Those cool kids made their lives a living hell. They made them wish that they'd never been born, and all for what? Shits and giggles. It didn't benefit them at all, and it made these kids feel worthless just because they weren't what was considered "normal." They didn't deserve it. They'd done nothing to warrant the way these people treated them. Was torture a reasonable response to this? Well, they certainly thought so.

The group consists of Dane, Andy, Jack, Ravi, and Emily. They each have their own little quirks; in other words, they each have a unique reason to be constantly tormented. They get their revenge by way of a Halloween costume party. They send out anonymous invitations to the kids that tortured them, knowing that they'll jump on any chance to get fucked up and/or laid. The popular kids don't know anything about the party or who is throwing it, but they don't care. They only have one thing in mind here: having fun. But their fun is short-lived when the alcohol supply is spiked with some sort of drug. They all wake up, chained to the floor, and are each subjected to a different form of torture. Most of the torture is purely physical -- a kind of lotion that eats away at the flesh, having needles shoved into various parts of the body, etc. -- but some of it is mental torture as well. At one point, a boy is forced to cut off a girl's fingers, with the promise that if he does so, he will be spared. It is obvious that the outcasts have spent quite a lot of time planning this little party.

The movie does have a kind of spooky feel to it, mostly due to the costumes that the outcasts choose to wear. Dane wears a big gas mask, Emily wears a plain white one; Jack dresses as a scarecrow, Ravi is an evil clown, and Andy is what looks like a Nazi soldier. They're creepy, I'll give them that. But there's no fear factor with this movie, at least not for me. I was rooting for these kids. I saw what they went through, I've been through it myself, so I wanted them to have their peace of mind. In the real world, I don't think anything justifies torture. But this is a movie, and I wanted those assholes dead just as much as the outcasts did. Don't get me wrong though. Don't think that I'm complaining at the lack of scariness. I'm not. It was actually a really great movie and, even though I understood what they were doing, it was a bit unnerving to see such young kids doing such horrible things -- and with such skill! You'd think they'd been doing it for years. But no, they had been through a meticulous planning stage that was unseen to viewers. That much can be assumed.

This isn't a visual horror movie. Though seeing these kids in their costumes doing these horrible things will leave you with a weird feeling in your heart, that's not what it's about. It's a mental horror movie. It will make you feel uncomfortable in spots, and you might feel weird for being on the side of the so-called "bad guys." But I think that's the point. The kids, though they're doing unspeakable things, aren't meant to be the bad guys, which is interesting. The bad guys are the ones who pushed them to that extreme limit. I believe it's also a morality tale. Be careful who you tease and torment. If you bully the wrong person, you just might end up in the middle of nowhere, chained to a floor and missing half your fingers.

#314 -- Dino Wolf (2009)

Director: Fred Olen Ray
Rating: 2 / 5

Yes, what you're seeing actually does exist. When I stumbled upon this, I was hoping that it would be a delightfully cheesy creature feature with plenty of gore and laughs, whether intentional or not. What I got was a mediocre, cheesy creature feature with plenty of gore and definitely unintentional laughs. It wasn't what I'd hoped for -- something that would be so horrible that it was funny and entertaining. But I wasn't laughing because I thought it was funny; I was laughing because I couldn't believe how stupid it was.

You might think it has something to do with a dinosaur/wolf hybrid type of creature. You wouldn't be completely wrong. It's actually a prehistoric wolf creature whose fossils have been combined with human DNA. So, pretty much, an extremely lame werewolf. I don't even remember exactly why these scientists decided to fuse human and wolf DNA together, but I really don't care. All of that was just their way of putting a spin on the werewolf story, and it doesn't really matter. Basically what we have here is a dude in a wolf suit -- a suit that, by the way, doesn't even have a working mouth that moves -- pretending to eat some stupid people out in the woods. But the bad effects are something that can definitely be overlooked; that's not the problem. There were some almost interesting sub-plots going on, but since they were only somewhat interesting at best, even they couldn't save it.

So, here we go. There's some kind of research facility out in bumfuck nowhere that's conducting experiments on said prehistoric wolf fossils. The wolf/human DNA fusion was successful, and they had the creature contained for a while. But then it got out, of course. There was no reason for it getting out, either. It just happened. I don't recall an explanation of failed security or malfunctioning locks or whatever. It just escaped.   The movie follows a local sheriff, his goofy son, some CIA agents, and some scientists as they trek through the woods searching for the Dino Wolf so that they can capture it. The woman whose DNA was inside the wolf was the only who was safe, because she was kind of like its "mom." It had a soft spot for her, and she was emotionally attached to it as well. So, the movie did attempt to add some romanticism, something to tug at the heartstrings, but...let's face it. That's just dumb. Maybe if the movie had been made better, that sort of thing would have worked. But here, with these actors so horrible that you wanted them to get eaten, and the wolf that looked so stupid you just wanted to laugh..nothing works. The wolf was actually hidden for a while, because of all the blurs it caused by its super speed (or maybe just a bad camera?). But once you do get a good look at it, you'll wish you hadn't. The mystery of it almost made it okay, because it allowed me to at least convince myself it might be cool. But once it was showed up close, it took away all of that. It wasn't cool. Not at all.

If you think about it, the story actually isn't that bad. But like I said, everything else about the movie was so bad that it just made it look stupid. It was lame. Here, a couple weeks after watching it, I'm finding it hard to remember the little details. Lame wolf eating people in the woods. So what?

#313 -- Near Dark (1987)

Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Rating: 2 / 5

I'm going to start by completely negating the purpose of this review. Regardless of anything I say here, you should experience this movie on your own. Apparently, it's got a healthy following, and a lot of people really love it. I appreciate what it was trying to do, but I definitely didn't love it. The only reason I even wanted to watch it was for Adrian Pasdar, who was in my favorite television show. I wanted to see what he looked like back in the '80s.

So, here's the deal. Country boy Caleb (Pasdar) meets a beautiful girl late one night. He's immediately drawn to her, takes her on a little date, and then offers to drive her home. But he refuses to take her all the way home until she gives him a kiss. One thing leads to another, and that kiss turns into a bite, changing Caleb's life forever. He almost makes it home when the girl, Mae, and her family swoop him up in their RV and get him wrapped up in their vampire life. Most of the family didn't want Caleb around, and they wanted him to prove himself by killing; but he couldn't do it. He just wasn't cut out to be a vampire. He found his place among them, though, by not being afraid to fight to keep them safe.

What most people like about this movie is that, even though it's somewhat modern, it takes things back to the way vampires used to be. I don't see it like that. These guys are nothing like Dracula. I do like it when horror movies are set out in the desert. It gives them a romantic yet gritty feel, which is always nice. These guys didn't kill only for feeding purposes, and their fangs weren't their only weapons. They fed on humans, of course, but sometimes they killed just for the sake of killing, it seemed. It focused more on the human side of the vampires, rather than the undead side. These people were crooks before they were turned, and that lifestyle stayed with them even after death. They lived like outlaws, even more so than they would if they were regular vampires. All of this is well and good, and I'm glad it stuck to the proper vampire mythos. But it doesn't change the fact that the movie was boring. There were a few good action scenes, but they weren't enough. Even the romance wasn't enough to make it extremely interesting to me. The best thing was Bill Paxton as one of the vampires. He was definitely malicious, and he made the movie. Other than that, I felt that the movie as a whole was pretty boring.

Like I said, though, you should experience it for yourself. A lot of people really enjoy it, and you might too. Just because I didn't doesn't mean that you won't.

#312 -- The Clinic (2010)

Director: James Rabbitts
Rating: 3.5 / 5

These days, I'm a little hesitant when it comes to surgery/hospital based horror movies. I haven't seen that many of them, so I'm not entirely sure why I'm so against them to begin with. I think it's because I'm afraid that something Human Centipede-esque is going to happen. Thankfully, this one wasn't anything like that. To me, it felt like Hostel meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

It took place in 1979, several years before the invention of DNA testing, which proves to be a crucial plot point. We meet Beth and Cameron, an engaged and pregnant couple on their way visit Beth's parents for Christmas. When they're run off the road by an old, rusty ambulance, they decide to stop and rest for the night at a shady motel. In the middle of the night, Cameron leaves to search for a snack, and when he returns, Beth is gone. The police are no help, nor is the equally shady manager of the motel, so Cameron takes matters into his own hands. He ends up pulling a gun on the police officer, stealing his car, and crashing it right before he can get to Beth.

So, where is Beth? She's at the clinic, of course. Her baby has been prematurely removed from her and hidden away in the clinic. She wakes up in a tub of ice, discovers that her child is missing, and goes on a search to find it. Along the way, she meets up with three other women in the same predicament. They are, for the most part, certain that their babies are alive and somewhere in the building, and their main priority is to find them. Everything turns out to be a sort of twisted game. Inside their bellies is a tag which matches the tags on their babies. Since there is no DNA testing at this time, the only way to figure out which baby is theirs, they have to remove the tags from their stomachs. There is another woman somewhere in the building who is on a mission to kill all the others, in order to provide a process of elimination to discover which baby belongs to her.

There are several different elements at work here. I mentioned two other movies earlier; allow me to explain my statement before you get too angry at my comparisons. It feels like Hostel for more than one reason, one of them being quite obvious: that the women wake up in strange places and in very strange and dangerous predicaments. The other reason you will discover once you watch the movie for yourself (I don't want to spoil the ending). Now, it feels a bit (only a little bit) like TCM because of the "everyone's in on it" aspect of it. The police, as well as the motel manager, knew everything all along, and they played a role in things in the end. That is where the comparison stops. The Clinic doesn't feel like a copy-cat at all. It has its own ideas, it works on its own merits, and it's definitely an enjoyable ride. I'm simply trying to give you an idea of what you're getting into.

This is not a scary movie, do not be mistaken. It is disturbing in some ways, but mostly...it's just sad. I'm not even a mother yet, but I could feel the women's horror and fear for their children. Most of them died with no way of knowing whether or not their babies would survive. Each and every one of them had one single dying wish: take care of my baby. It's a deeply terrifying thought: to create this beautiful little person, and then to be shoved into a terrible situation with no way of protecting it. It also proves just how strong a woman can be when the thing she loves the most is in danger; the lengths that a mother will go to in order to ensure the safety of her child.

The ending, while somewhat awkward and nonsensical, works in its own way. It raises some questions about the rest of the movie, but it makes enough sense as to not ruin it entirely. It ends on a neutral note that is both happy and depressing. It is not a perfect movie by any means. It has its plot holes, and it raises several questions when everything is said and done. It might leave you questioning the intelligence of some characters and the morals of some others. But in the end, all of those things can be forgiven. What this is, is a deeply disturbing movie that will give you a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach -- especially if you're a woman, and even more so if you're a mother.

#311 -- Abraham Linclon: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Rating: 4 / 5

I knew going into this that it was based on a book. I haven't read the book, but that told me one thing: that it was at least going to be a unique and interesting story. But I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into. It turns out, it's actually a really great movie, and it was more than I imagined it would be. I took more from it than I would have expected.

I'm not an expert on Abe Lincoln. I know as much as every other regular person out there, and that is just what I remember from high school. Not much. He freed the slaves, and he wore a funky hat: that's just about it. But still, I feel like the people making the movie knew a lot about him. Even though I know practically nothing, I feel like most aspects of his life were adequately portrayed. I could be wrong. They could have been wrong. There could be Lincoln experts out there seething at how wrong they were. But none of that matters. Here, Lincoln is simply a fictional character based on a real man. Sill, I feel like Lincoln's story was told properly; just with a few extra little details thrown in.

As a young boy, Abe saw his mother murdered. He grew up with anger and hatred in his heart, and once he reached adulthood, he vowed vengeance on the man who committed the crime. He met with a man named Henry who informed him that the murderer was a vampire, and Henry taught Abe the ways of slaying. As with any job, the job of vampire hunter came with a few rules. Abe could only kill the vampires that Henry told him to kill, and none other. Henry obliged only so that he could wait until the day that his mother's murderer's name appeared on his list. Abe lived as a hunter for a while, and eventually learned that there was another evil he wished to destroy: slavery. He thought that, the best way to destroy this particular evil was with words rather than his axe. So he became president. The war began. The confederate army was full of vampires, and soldiers were dying left and right. It wasn't until Abe's son was killed the same way as his mother that he decided to take matters into his own hands. He picked up his axe once more and joined in the war himself.

Now, that's the basic premise of the movie; but naturally, there's much more to it than that. I don't want to spoil it, because it's something that you should experience on your own. It's full of love, betrayal, murder and heartache -- as are most vampire movies. The historical aspect of it only makes it more interesting, because you understand that most of these things actually did happen. So, here's what the movie did for me. It made me appreciate Honest Abe even more. I know it's sad, because I should have greatly appreciated him to begin with, but it is what it is. Secondly, it turned Abraham Lincoln into a sex symbol. Yes, I said it. I'm probably the only one who thinks this way, but bear with me. Physically, Benjamin Walker, who played Abe, is kind of cute. But that's not what attracted me to him. He was fucking bad-ass. The way he could swing that axe around was absolutely amazing. He was a great fighter. Plus, inside of the axe was a hidden gun. That just makes him even more bad-ass. Here, I was under the impression that Abraham Lincoln was a peaceful man (which, in reality, he probably was), but this fictional version of him could kick some serious vampire ass. Doing that in a suit and a funky top-hat just made it even better. Remember that commercial about the game "Apples to Apples", where it showed their version of "sexy Abe Lincoln"? Imagine that, just less goofy and with a big 'ol axe in his hand. I'm sure I'm not the only freaky horror girl out there who would find that sexy.

I'm rambling, I apologize. Anyways, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was, indeed, a very good movie. It was equal parts action, horror, romance and historical fiction. It had an interesting story which married reality with fantasy, and the vampire aspects of it actually made sense when linked with real events. Again, I haven't read the book, but I can only imagine that it's ten times better. So I definitely have to read it. I had high hopes for this one going into it, but I never imagined that I would like it as much as I did.

#310 -- Sinister (2012)

Director: Scott Derrickson
Rating: 3 / 5

Horror movie are really good at creating trailers to reel people in with false hopes that they'll be scared shitless. I know that's the point of a trailer, and I'm glad that they're able to do this, for their own sake's. But sometimes it can be downright annoying. When I saw the trailer for Sinister, I knew that I had to see it. I was sure that it was going to be different from all the other shitty horror movies that come out these days. I just knew that it was going to be genuinely scary. Sadly, the scariest part of the trailer turned out to mean nothing at all in the actual movie. That's not to say that Sinister is a bad movie; it's just not at all what I'd hoped it would be.

Ellison Oswalt was a true-crime novelist who moved into a house where murders took place in order to do research for his newest book. He apparently had done this several times before; sometimes, he found clues the police had missed and helped solve the crimes, and in other cases his antics let killers go free. His last success was around ten years ago, and he was convinced that this one could be his comeback. This explains why he continued with his research even after everything went extremely wrong: he was obsessed. He had access to a bunch of home movies which showed exactly how a set of families were murdered in their homes. I'm not sure how he gained access to these films, since the police department (the sheriff, at least) absolutely refused to help him. I think he might have found them in the home's attic and checked into them just because. In each case, every member of the family was killed, except for one child, and that child was never seen again. Slowly, Oswalt began to link each murder together, proving that they were all committed by the same person. Or at least, that's what he thought. The main thing he noticed in the films was a ghostly figure that appeared in the shadows, as well as a strange symbol that was always painted somewhere in the families' homes. He did some research, got some professional help, and discovered that this "ghostly figure" was actually a demon called Bughuul who stole children's souls by way of digital images. Once a person saw him in the images, he was able to jump from his dimension to theirs.

All of this is very interesting. It sounds like an old folk tale or something, but as far as I can tell, Bughuul  was created specifically for the movie. I was hoping this was a real myth, so I could do some digging and come out with something cool. But I applaud them for coming up with an original villain. Sinister works on certain points (several, actually), but it fails in the most crucial way. It does't rely only on jump-scares, as most ghost/haunting/demons movies do, which is always nice to see. There are a few of them thrown in, don't get me wrong, but it mostly relies on things that disturb you rather than scare you shitless. The old films of the families getting murdered were, indeed, quite sinister. They were disturbing to Oswalt as well as viewers. They were also creepy, artistic, and very well done. The characters were engaging as well. Ethan Hawke was great as the obsessed writer losing touch with reality and slowly losing his mind over his work. I could understand him. He was also very jumpy and easily spooked, which offered some comic relief (not that it needed any..) I could also understand his wife, Tracy, who was exhausted with him. I was actually worried about their marriage, which is a shocker. Most horror characters --aside from the villain--are extremely bland.

Even though the old films were great, they were used for too long. It was slow going, and it took a good while for anything to happen in Oswalt's reality. And once the line between the dimensions was erased, things got cheesy. The ghostly children showed up in Oswalt's house, but it looked like there was a slumber party going on and his kids' friends were trying to scare him. The kids weren't spooky at all. And that is where the movie fails. It's just not scary. Though it has a good idea and does a lot of things right, it just fails to offer up any real scares. It wasn't quite disturbing enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth. It didn't keep me up at night. It didn't make me hide behind my pillows with my heart racing. In the end, even though they did some things right, what they created was a forgettable horror movie that really tried.

#309 -- Silent Hill (2006)

Director: Christophe Gans
Rating: 4 / 5

I've heard about Silent Hill for years. I've always known that a lot of people love it, but I just never got in on it. It was based on a series of Japanese video games by the same name. I've never played any of the games, but after watching the movie and researching a little bit about them, I can't wait to play them...Once I get a better game system, that is. There just aren't that many good games for the Wii unless you're eight years old. Anyways...

The movie is about a woman named Rose whose adopted daughter, Sharon, has nightmares about a place called Silent Hill. In order to figure out what these nightmares mean, Rose decides that she needs to take Sharon to Silent Hill, in hopes that the girl might remember something and figure out why she is so scared. Rose's husband advises against it, since the town was known for a disastrous fire and is still unsafe. Rose, of course, goes on without her husband's blessing. Once they arrive in Silent Hill, Sharon disappears, and Rose realizes that the town is not normal -- and there is no escape. She meets with a police officer (played by Laurie Holden!), and together they weave their way through this spooky ghost town searching for Sharon and a way out.

There are definitely some interesting things going on in Silent Hill. There are amazing and horrifying characters, a cult that murders children, and indescribable creatures lurking in the darkness. There's also a man/creature that carries the biggest knife I have ever seen in my life. This is a fantasy world that is very easy to get caught up in, and that's just from watching the movie. Imagine what it's like playing the games! I can't wait. The movie itself kind of plays out like a game. The entire time, the viewer is left extremely confused and unsure of what is going on. We know what we see, and what Rose sees, but there's no way for us to know exactly what it all means until the very end. I found myself feeling stupid throughout the majority of it because I didn't fully understand, but the ending made everything perfectly clear, and what an ending it was! Rose learned a few shocking secrets about her daughter's past, as well as the awful things that went on in Silent Hill before it was turned into a ghost town. There was a magnificent final villain that was unique and definitely frightening.

I don't want to say too much about this movie, actually. I went into it not knowing anything about it, and I was so surprised and awed by it that I couldn't believe it took me so long to see it. I think that's how everyone should experience it. You don't need to know anything, really, because the shock of what you will see is part of the fun. Just know that it is a wonderfully creepy movie with some of the greatest horror characters I've ever seen.

#308 -- Yellowbrickroad (2010)

Directors: Jesse Holland & Andy Mitton
Rating: 3 / 5

Contains spoilers

I had this in my Netflix queue for a long time before I actually watched it. I thought it sounded interesting, but I wasn't sure about it. Then I started reading some reviews, and it seemed like people really liked it, so I checked it out. I'm on the fence about it, and it turns out, so it the horror population as a whole. Some people love it, and some people hate it, while most others just don't get it. I get what it was trying to do; I just don't understand the point.

So, here's the story. Back in the 40's, an entire town wandered into the woods, never to be seen alive again. Some bodies were found, but most of the people seemed to have disappeared. In the present day, a team of professionals ventures deep into the same woods to try and uncover the truth behind the mysterious disappearance. The start on a trail known as the "Yellow Brick Road," and things go downhill from there, for both the characters and the viewer.

It's definitely an interesting concept, and the obvious nod toward The Wizard of Oz makes it even more so. As these people are in the woods and start to talk about things, they start to come up with some theories. They believe that those people thought that, at the end of this trail, there was some sort of Wizard that would grant their wishes. Mass delusion, or something. There's one other nod toward Oz, where a recently murdered girl is strung up on a post wearing a straw hat. Also, once they reach a certain point into the wilderness, they start hearing old-time music that cannot be explained. They're terrified of it at first, but they grow accustomed to it, and eventually learn to love it. When it disappears at random times (only to return later), they miss it. They also hear other sounds that destroy their ears and their ability to hear anything else. There's also something in those woods that makes them lose their minds and want to murder each other.

Again, it's a very interesting concept, but it fails on one main aspect: it doesn't bring anything together or provide an adequate ending or explanation. It builds up some great tension, as we're sure we're going to discover something great about the people who wandered into the woods all those years ago. We're sure we're going to discover something amazing and creepy about what lurks in those woods, and what drew those people to leave everything behind in search of something unknown. We're drawn to the characters in front of us, as we watch their mental states deteriorate. We're sure that something great is going to happen, but it never does. The way it starts off, it feels like a ghost story. The music the explorers hear in the woods hints that, maybe, the souls of those people are still present in the woods. Or perhaps it was the music that drew those people into the woods, and it is what is leading our team to their destination. The thing is, I'm not sure. The fact that these people started losing their minds and doing terrible things to each other also makes no real sense in the scheme of things. Lunacy can't be what drew those people into the woods back in the 40's, but it could be why they were never seen again.

At the end of things, it feels like there was no real supernatural or mysterious thing going on at all. These people were in the wilderness, worlds away from civilization, and this caused their minds to unravel. That is all. No wizard at the end of the yellow brick road; no supernatural entity bringing these people to an untimely demise. Just a bunch of people, lost in the woods, who go crazy. And that is why it was disappointing for me. It has a great lead-up, with potential for some great things, but it falls short. The music is never explained, nor is the town's mysterious disappearance. In the end, one man reaches a final destination, which is a ghostly movie theater where he is forced to see his dead wife on the big screen. Whoop-de-doo. I feel like Yellowbrickroad could have been a great movie if it had a proper ending with something that made all of the weird occurrences mean something. But in the end, it feels like a documentary about what happens when a group of people are kept away from civilization for a long period of time. Despite its amazing build up, great production values and talented actors, it falls short and fails due to its lackluster ending.

#307 -- Candyman (1992)

Director: Bernard Rose
Rating: 4 / 5

 I remember watching this as a kid with my little "boyfriend." The only parts of it I remembered were a bunch of bees coming out of Candyman's mouth, and some woman getting naked. I think the naked lady scared me more than anything, and I'm sure the boy was even more terrified by it than I was. These days, I understand that Candyman is something to be feared.

Helen was working on a thesis paper about the urban legend of a man called Candyman. He resides in the projects, and all the residents are terrified of him. The story says that, if you say his name five times in front of a mirror, that he'll show up behind you and kill you with a hook. At first, Helen was sure that this was just the peoples' way of putting an actual face to the problems (all the crime in their area) that they faced every day. As her research continued, she realized that there was much more to Candyman's story, and she started to believe that he might be more than mass delusion.

Candyman was the son of a former slave who fell in love with a slave owner's daughter. He impregnated the girl, and her father then swore vengeance on him. He ordered a mob to saw off his hand; they then covered his body with honey and unleashed a bee-hive on him. His hand was replaced by a hook, and he lived on throughout the years, killing anyone who dared to say his name. When Helen came into the picture, everything changed. He didn't want to just kill her; he wanted to take her for his bride. Every murder that Candyman committed was blamed on Helen. She ended up getting arrested and committed to a hospital. She had to figure out a way to defeat Candyman while proving her innocence (or at least staying away from the police long enough to fight him). I think that Candyman was trying to make her lose her mind. He planned on ruining her life to a point that she would actually wish for death and join him. His plan, for the most part, worked very well. But not without a price.

Candyman was actually adapted from a short story by Clive Barker called "The Forbidden." It's in a volume of short stories called "The Books of Blood." I actually never realized this. I knew that Barker had something to do with the movie, but I didn't know what. I haven't read the story or the book, but I can't wait to check it out. He has quickly become one of my favorite authors, and I know that the story must be genius, like everything else he does.

As far as the movie goes...Since I saw it at a young age, without having read the story (or knowing anything about it), I really like it. I feel like Candyman is an icon of horror, even though he doesn't get as much recognition as the other big name horror villains. I think the thing that makes Candyman so scary is Tony Todd. Todd is a great actor, and has definitely made a name for himself in the horror world. He's a big guy, and with that deep, rattling voice, he was the perfect choice for the role. And, of course, Clive Barker himself was involved in the production of the movie, and he wouldn't let them ruin something he created. It's an interested movie which tells a tale of not only supernatural horror, but also the horrors of everyday life in the slums. There is sadness, betrayal, and of course, lots of blood. Candyman has it all.

#306 -- Madison County (2011)

Director: Eric England
Rating: 2.5 / 5

When I first saw this, I thought it looked pretty cool. I thought it would be a nice kids-in-the-woods slasher movie, good for some mindless entertainment. Also, there's a Madison County here in Georgia, where I live, so that drew me to it as well. I never had any hopes that it would be mind-blowing, and I was right. It was actually filmed in Arkansas, so I can rest easy knowing that these people weren't shit-talkin' us Georgians. Just southern people in general, I guess. These kind of movies make me wonder if non-southerners are scared of us.

Anyways, the story isn't all that original; it's something we've seen hundreds of times before. A guy decides to go to Madison County to interview the author of a book about some murders that happened there. The legend was that this killer murdered around thirty people; the townsfolk knew about the murders, some even witnessed them, but they never said a word about it. James plans on writing a paper about the book, and he takes some friends along. Once they get there, they meet the creepy locals who don't want any outsiders in there town, and they soon learn that the author knew the killer a little better than they'd thought.

The so-called "twists" were predictable. The characters were also fairly predictable, but it did do some new things that I didn't expect--mainly the fact that the nerdy guy was the only one getting laid. The order in which the kids were killed also felt different to me. If you watch enough movies like this, you can pretty much predict the order they'll die, but this one switched it up on me. All of the characters were likable. There wasn't even that one character that you hate and want dead --there was one that acted like an asshole sometimes, but his reasons were understandable, so I didn't hate him for it--so it was really easy to root for them. I liked the killer here, too. His name was Damien, he had apparently been beaten and tortured by his stepfather as a child (leaving him horribly disfigured, though we never got to see his face), he wore a big pig mask and carried an axe. The pig mask might sound cheesy, but it actually looked pretty neat. It succeeded in being creepy rather than stupid.

I was really enjoying the movie up until the end, because it really didn't have any. There always has to be a main character, and in this case that was James. There was another character with him at the end, but we never learned what happened to them. It cut off before letting us know if they got away or not. I was really disappointed by this, because I felt like the story was incomplete. Sometimes that sort of thing works, but not here. It only left me wanting more. I was also disappointed in the fact that there wasn't all that much gore. The story wasn't deep or profound or all that creepy, so I think it definitely needed more blood. It's not a big problem, definitely not as big as the incomplete ending, but just something I found disappointing.

Overall, though, I thought it was a fairly decent movie with good characters and a creepy killer.

Profile of a Serial Killer: Albert Fish

Name: Albert Hamilton Fish
Date of Birth: May 18th, 1870
Date of Death: January 16th, 1936
Cause of Death: Electrocution

If you know anything at all about real-life serial killers, you know that they are all vicious, monstrous creatures who cannot even be described as human. Even if you know nothing specifically, you understand this fact. But there were none -- and hopefully never will be -- quite like Mr. Albert Fish. He was the craziest, most vile one of the bunch. Not only was he a serial killer, but he was a pedophile, cannibal, and a sado-masochist with some very disturbing quirks. He stated that he grew up in an orphanage that was run with fierce brutality. He was known to scream "I am God!" into the skies, and he later told authorities that the voices in his head made him do it.

By all outwardly appearances, Fish seemed more than normal. He was a grandfatherly figure: a very polite and sweet old gentleman that people trusted and depended on. He was a werewolf, hiding behind a false skin until he found the perfect moment to pounce on his victims. In one case, he employed a young man as a farm-hand. The family loved him, treated him with respect, invited them into their home for lunch, and thought of him as a grandfather to their children. So it was only natural that when he said he had a child's birthday to attend that they agreed to let their young daughter accompany him. She was never seen again, but Fish was kind enough to send a letter to the girl's mother explaining exactly how he cooked her and what she tasted like. He was known to force his six children to beat him with a paddle until he bled, and he also pierced his own skin with long needles--somewhere around twenty of them were found in his pelvic region. He also like to shove alcohol-doused cotton balls into his rectum and light them on fire. When arrested, he admitted to molesting over four-hundred children.

Fish tried for an insanity plea, and despite several psychiatrists agreeing to this statement, he was found guilty and sentenced to death. There are a couple of rumors surrounding his execution. One is that he was not only untroubled by this, but that he liked it and found the idea to be "sexually thrilling." The other is that the execution was not successful on the first try due to the several needles that he'd put inside of his body and left there. It is said that he actually had to be electrocuted twice.

No matter who you hear or read about, there has never been another as terrifying and disturbing as Albert Fish. The scariest part is that he seemed so kind and gentle, and that people trusted their children to this monster. But, yet again, that was his goal.

#305 -- The Masque of the Red Death (1964)

Director: Roger Corman
Rating: 3 / 5

And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

To me, Edgar Allen Poe is like the Shakespeare of horror. You really have to think to understand exactly what it is he's trying to say. There are obvious points to his stories, but there's always a hidden meaning that is usually more terrifying than the obvious. He was a poet; whether you're speaking of his stories or his poems, all of his work is poetry. I read The Masque of the Red Death in high school, and I re-visited it after watching this movie starring Vincent Price. I felt something was missing from the movie, and felt the need to feel that which the original story had to offer. If you look into the meanings behind the story, you'll find that it is a very deep and terrifying tale, both things I didn't get from the movie. That's not to say that the movie is bad, because it's not; but to get the full effect of this story, you'll need to read Poe's original version.

This adaptation adds a little more depth to the character of Prince Prospero. In the story, he was simply a man who offered a safe haven from the plague of The Red Death, only to have it invade his castle and destroy everyone within. In the movie, however, he definitely had ulterior motives. Prospero (Price) was a devil-worshiper who planned to offer all of his guests as sacrifices to the Prince of Darkness. In the end, the unknown figure who showed up in the middle of Prospero's masquerade ball, once revealed, shared the Prince's face. I feel like this implied that Prospero himself was the Red Death, because he had brought death and decay to his constituents. Since it took place in the 12th century, his being the Prince gave him reign over all in the villages surrounding his castle. He was not a benevolent man; he was quite evil, cared nothing for his people and killed those who defied him without so much as blinking. In a sense, he was death.

The movie was filled with abduction, betrayal and murder. The part of Prospero was played wonderfully by Vincent Price, and Hazel Court (who played Price's wife in The Raven) played the part of Prospero's most faithful follower. The movie wasn't bad, as I said, but it was missing the depth of the original story. It did have a few deep elements: the implication that Prospero himself represented death. But the original was an allegory for the different stages of human life, with the personified "Red Death" representing an entity that one meets at the last stage. There was a tiny hint of this in the movie, but it wasn't explained quite enough. Yes, the story itself was quite vague and requires a bit of thought to fully comprehend (at least on my part). The movie was just as vague as vague, which I feel only brought it down. It is not a literary work of art; therefore it can't afford to remain so vague to its viewers, especially since it obviously wasn't a complete adaptation. It didn't take absolutely everything from the story; it threw its own plots and back-stories in there, so I feel that it should have explained things a bit better.

Even though they were both quite vague, I felt something deep and meaningful while reading the story that the movie couldn't give me.

#304 -- Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Director: Rob Hedden
Rating: 5 / 5

Contains spoilers

Okay, so a lot of people have issues with this movie. It looks like most feel one of two things about it. They think either A) putting him in Manhattan was stupid, or B) that was cool, but he wasn't there long enough. Both are true, but I don't really care about all that. I do have some issues with the movie; to me, it feels like one big plot hole. But I don't care about that either. Parts 7, 8, and 9 of the series are the ones that were released around the time I was a kid -- this one was actually released five months before I was born -- so they're really the ones I remember watching back then. They all have a special place in my heart, no matter how silly or gimmicky they are. This one has always been one of my favorite, and it will stay that way, despite the tiny little issues I have with it. Sure, the movie is nothing but a giant plot hole. Sure, they figured people were getting tired of the summer camp setting (which I absolutely never will) so they stuck him some place else, which felt weird. There are only two movies in the series that I will rate anything below five points, and even then I'm only willing to go as low as 4.9. So, there are only two reasons that I will really have an issue: if they A) mess with the story (part five, where Jason wasn't even present), or B) they mess with Jason's appearance (Jason X, when they turned him into a fucking ROBOT). So, in conclusion, despite its faults, I love Jason Takes Manhattan.

Here's the run-down. It wasn't just a random occurrence that took him to New York. A bunch of high school kids were going on some sort of graduation party/field trip to New York, and they were taking a cruise ship. They happened to go through Crystal Lake, where Jason was awoken via some electricity or something. He climbed aboard the ship, because even though they weren't technically in his camp, they were still invading his home, and he didn't like that. So he started killing all the kids on the ship, and of course, it eventually took them to New York. I don't care that the majority of the movie took place on a boat, because, to me, that just makes the events that much more terrifying for the victims. When they're at the lake, at least there's an endless amount of open space that the kids can run into. Even if their cars don't work (which they never do, of course), they're still not completely stuck. Here, though, there was absolutely nowhere they could go. They were trapped in a confined space with Jason, knowing that the only they could do was either hide or fight. Or throw him overboard, but good luck with that. Once they got to New York, they felt like they'd reached a safe haven. They thought, "Okay, we're here, there are other people around, and there are plenty of places to hide." They learned quickly that there was still no way to get away from him, of course. But that was a giant let-down and, and I feel like it showcases the exhaustion that they must have felt. They went through so much already while they were on the boat; they arrived at their destination, believing that they were safe, only to realize that nowhere was safe from Jason Voorhees. I think that these victims had a rougher time than the rest because of this.

Okay, first I'll explain the issues that I do have with the movie, then I'll round things off with reasons why it's still fucking awesome. I mentioned that it feels like one giant plot hole, and it really does. The back-story for this one really doesn't make any sense at all. The main character, Rennie, has something in common with Jason: she can't swim, and she's terrified of the water. To be fair, Jason's not scared of anything (I hate when people say he's scared of water, because he's in it all the fucking time; there's no way he's scared of  anything.), though he was when he was a child. Apparently, when Rennie was a kid, her uncle tried to teach her to swim by throwing her out of their canoe. While under the water, she saw a young, deformed Jason -- which is why she grew so completely terrified of being in the water. Okay, one of two things were happening with this bit. They were either trying to imply that Jason was a ghost, or they didn't realize that he's like, 40 years older than her and there's no way she could have met him as a child. Throughout the movie, she sees glimpses of the young Jason drowning and crying out for help. She sees him in mirrors and in the windows of the boat. Again, is Jason supposed to be a ghost, or are they somehow mentally linked to one another? It didn't really expand on or explain any of that, so I really didn't get it.

Secondly, the way Jason looked. They didn't fuck with his appearance in the same way that Jason X did. For the most part, he looked just like he was supposed to. When he was unmasked, though...I don't know what the fuck that was. His face was flat, he had no teeth, and his skin sort of looked blue. Hillbilly smuf, anyone? When Jason's mask is removed, we're supposed to be terrified by how vile and gruesome his face is. This, though, was just funny -- and that shit ain't right. He was unmasked down in the sewers of New York. The two heroes threw some toxic waste on his face, it melted a little bit, and then he...turned back into a child. What? Yeah, little Jason returned, in the fetal position crying like a baby. Who knew that toxic waste was a time machine? It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, and it  is actually the biggest issue I have with the movie. Maybe it was imagination or drug-induced hallucination (because Rennie had been drugged and almost raped by some thugs). Maybe they were trying to turn Jason into something different; something less than human that we hadn't seen before, but they weren't really sure how to do it. I think that was actually done better in Jason Goes to Hell. Sure, it was stupid as fuck, but at least it made a little bit of sense.

Despite the fact that Jason Takes Manhattan doesn't make a whole lot of sense, I still love it. It has some of my favorite scenes from the entire series, ones that I always use as examples when explaining why I love these movies so much. First, there's a hot rocker chick who is killed by her own guitar. There's the boxer who thought he could actually beat Jason's ass. Jason ended up letting the guy punch him until he was exhausted, then punched his head clean off. It landed it a dumpster. Later, when his friends were trying to find him, they found his head stuck on the gearshift of a police car. Oh, Jason. You're so funny. There was a guy who had a hot sauna rock shoved into his stomach, which looked extremely painful...and awesome! There was the hockey billboard that really confused Jason when he first arrived in New York. And  the best one, and probably my favorite scene in any of the movies. There were some thugs in New York, outside listening to some music. Jason was angry as he walked past them, so he kicked over their boom-box. They thought they were bad-ass, thought they'd pull a knife on him and start cussing him. He turned around, lifted up his mask, and the thugs stumbled through something like, "Sorry, m-man. It's cool, dude." No, he didn't kill them; which brings me to another thing I like about the movie. It shows that Jason isn't the mindless killer everyone thinks he is. Sure, he was a mongoloid. Sure, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. But he's not as stupid as people assume. Once they got to New York, he didn't bother anyone. He didn't kill any of the NY citizens unless they got in his way. He wasn't after them. He had no problems with them, because they hadn't invaded his home. I think he only killed one person in New York, actually, which...makes me smile really big. You remember when Kane Hodder was denied the part in Freddy Vs. Jason, in favor of Ken Kirzinger? Well, I really despise Ken, because he really sucked balls. The NY citizen that Jason killed here? He was played by Ken. Ha! I love watching it now and seeing Kane throw Ken around like a rag doll. Little bitch ass.

So, yeah; the movie has its issues, but it also has its charm. I don't care that it doesn't make sense. Sure, I like the stories they throw in, but that's not why I'm here. It's cool if they've got a good story, but mainly it's about Jason. I don't watch these movies to be engaged with the characters' stories. I don't watch them for the characters, because I could give two shits about any of them, despite how likable they are. I'm here to watch Jason fuck shit up. Ghost, mongoloid, whatever they were trying to turn him into...he still does that quite brilliantly.

#303 -- The Possession (2012)

Director: Ole Bornedal
Rating: 2 / 5

The first thing you'll notice when watching this movie is that it claims to be "based on true events." That's not really surprising, as most ghost stories claim the exact same thing. I did some research, though, and it turns out, it kind of actually is. There was a box (known as the Dibbuk Box) selling on Ebay that was supposedly haunted. It was originally owned by a Jewish woman who survived the Holocaust; it kept changing hands, each person who owned in claimed that they experienced nightmares, health issues, and sometimes death around them. It eventually made its way to a man named Jason Haxton who wrote a book about the things he experience while in possession of the box. It all comes down to what you, personally, believe. I don't know how much, if any, of that I believe. But it does mean that the movie was at least partially telling the truth. I've made it a mission to find and read "The Dibbuk Box" by Jason Haxton, so that I can see just how truthful the movie is, but I have a feeling that the events in the movie were only loosely based on the things that actually happened.

Anyways, here's what the movie is about. A man, recently divorced, gets to have his two daughters every weekend. After buying a new house, he stops at a yard sale to see if he can find some new dishes. One of his daughters, Emily, finds a strange box that she is very drawn to. He buys the box for her, and she becomes obsessed with the thing. She won't allow anyone else to touch it, and if they do, she gets extremely violent with them. Eventually she even starts getting violent with her family. She stabbed her dad with a fork, and threw a bunch of glass at her mother. But that was pretty much where the action ended. The main reason they were concerned with her to begin with was that she was acting weird, unlike herself. They just decided to get her some help when she started being mean. Her dad, who was a basketball coach, went to a professor at his college to have him inspect the box. He learned that it was a Jewish device used to contain demons, that it should never be opened (which of course, Emily did), and that the only way to get rid of the demon (and save his daughter) was to get the demon back into the box. To New York he goes, to find a rabbi who can help him.

All of that sounds interesting enough, though I still feel like the "real" story is more interesting. The movie, though it had an interesting story, was incredibly boring. It mostly consisted of Emily getting distant from her family and friends and her obsession with the box. By the time there was any action, half of the movie was over; and when that action took place, it wasn't that great. I've already stated two of those things above, and there was only one more to speak of. The ending scenes, where the rabbi was trying to help them get the demon back in the box, were more comical than anything. It wasn't exciting; it wasn't scary. It had an interesting story, but I'd much rather read Jason Haxton's version of things. What's sad is how much I was looking forward to seeing the movie, and how disappointed I was with it. I was hoping for some real scares, even if they were cheesy or cliche; but there were no scares at all.  I will say that once the demon had fully taken over Emily, it looked pretty cool. So, there's that...

#302 -- Circle (2010)

Director: Michael W. Watkins
Rating: 2 / 5

I'll be honest. Going into this, I didn't actually want to watch it. I wanted to watch something, I was resting comfortably in my bed, and I didn't feel like moving an inch; so I started searching through my On Demand. I looked over this one more than once, and I thought it seemed like it would be predictable, and I wasn't all that interested. But of all the movies I looked through, it looked the most promising -- which is pretty sad. Plus, I saw that Silas Mitchell was in it. I've come to really enjoy him, so that at least gave me some hope. But this is a case of having a lot of great things to work with but failing to create an outstanding product.

It's about a group of students that I assume were in college studying to become criminal psychologists. A class project sent them to the childhood home of a guy named Bennett (Mitchell). This guy had murdered five people, I think. He was arrested and sent to a psychiatric hospital. The students' assignment was to stay in the house for the weekend to get a feel for how Bennett thought; to get a peek inside the mind of a serial killer. They also hoped to find something that the police overlooked, so that they could get some major brownie points. But little did they know, Bennett had escaped from the institution, and was making his way back home.

The very basic premise sounds an awful lot like Halloween, but don't expect it to be a rip-off, because it's not. I think that these people might have been inspired by Halloween, but it's actually nothing like it. There was a back-story on Bennett that I didn't really understand. He had arranged all of his victims in a half-circle, because that's the shape of an eyeball and apparently the Greeks thought that would...be really cool. Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention, or maybe my volume was too low, but I actually have no idea what Bennett's deal was. The movie followed a couple of cops trying to find him, and to figure out exactly what it was he was doing so they could prevent him from doing it again. They found, in his room at the institute, that he'd drawn all sorts of symbols on the walls. The doctor said that she'd been interpreting it, and that she'd sent her notes over to the cops; but in the end, she decided not to share them, so we never got to learn what it all meant. I'm not sure what the point of all that was, other than to prove that Bennett wasn't an idiot, because he certainly seemed that way to begin with. I think the idea was interesting enough, but there wasn't enough explanation to make it work. I had a problem with the way the cops operated, as well. When they figured out a key point to Bennett's story, the audience wasn't clued in at all. There was no lead-up and no allowing us to figure it out along with them. Suddenly, they knew something, and we just had to accept it. The problem was that it didn't make enough sense for me to accept.

Though I obviously had some issues with the movie, I do think it had some good things going for it. First of all, the actors. Most of them I had never heard of, but they all worked really well together, particularly the policeman and the female FBI agent. I was kind of disappointed with Silas Mitchell, though. I don't fault him for it at all, but I feel like he was downplayed. Since he was the main reason I even watched the movie, I felt like there should have been more for him to do. His character hardly ever spoke, and when he did, he spoke in Greek. He wasn't creepy at all; he just sort of sulked off-screen and we hardly even saw him. He is such a talented actor, and I don't think they used his talents to the fullest extent. It took way too long for him to actually kill anyone, and when he did it was either off-screen or so excruciatingly forgettable that it was upsetting. I was hoping to see him play a bad ass serial killer who seriously fucked shit up, but I didn't get that at all. There were absolutely no memorable kills and practically no blood and gore to speak of. Oh yeah, back to the good stuff. I think the movie definitely looked good. It wasn't mind-blowing, but it didn't look homemade either, which is always good. Silas wore these light blue/gray contacts that made his eyes really pretty, and sadly, that was the most memorable and exciting thing in the entire movie. I loved his eyes, and his hot brother had the same eyes; yum!

Overall, it was just an okay idea. It had some good things to work with, but nothing ever panned out. It was a bloodless and brainless movie that tried to be smart and scary; and it failed on both accounts.

#301 -- My Stepdad's A Freakin' Vampire! (2009)

Director: David Matheny
Rating: 3 / 5

Everyone knows I'm a sucker for movies that look cheesy. I think it's safe to say that this one looked to be the epitome of the word, which is why I was intrigued by it. Sometimes, when I stumble upon something like this, it ends up being absolutely wonderful and becomes one of my favorite movies. Sometimes, it ends up being a piece of crap I wished I'd never watched. But at other times, like now, it ends up as something I could live with or without.

The movie was about a guy named Rusty, whose mother just married Richard. Rusty hated Richard, because he was sort of an asshole. When mom went out of town, she asked that the two of them get along, but all Rusty wanted to do was stay away from him. When he discovered the body of a missing mailman in their attic, though, he realized he might be dealing with something other than a horrible stepdad. He called the police, but once they arrived, the body was gone. So he went to the same person that all of us would go to in a similar situation: his best friend, Travis. Travis didn't believe him either, that is until they were attacked by the undead mailman.

They were saved by their school's janitor, who just happened to double as a vampire slayer (since, of course, his family had been killed by Richard himself). Gert, the janitor/vamp slayer, explained that Richard was actually the leader of an ancient vampire army. That army was brought to Earth by some sort of talisman, and once the army was defeated, it was taken under the protection of a certain family. It remained in that family ever since, and that family was the Funkhausers. Rusty Funkhauser. So, Richard had spend who-knows-how-long searching for that talisman, which is why he married Ms. Funkhauser. Once he found it, he would be able to raise his army again, and take over the world. It was up to Rusty, Travis, Gert, and a nerd-boy named Brad to defeat the vampire threat.

You can tell that this movie is fairly low budget, but it doesn't always show. It's sort of a hit or miss with this one. Sometimes everything looks wonderful, and at other times it just looks cheesy. As for the story, I liked it. The whole army/talisman thing was cool. The acting was just okay, and the effects, again, where hit or miss. It was definitely a cheesy movie that had quite a few laugh-out-loud moments. For the most part, I say it was a good effort, but I feel like it was missing something. The entire time, I felt like, if they'd just pushed things a little harder and made a little bit more of an effort, it would have been great. It definitely wasn't a bad movie, but it just failed to go the extra mile. I was entertained, and it's definitely something to check out if you're into this sort of thing--like I am.

This review was part of Vampire's Day Soiree, hosted by Holly's Horrorland. What better way to spend the most romantic day of the year than by sitting down to a nice vampire movie? Or, in my case, a cheesy vampire movie. I could have chosen a more sophisticated movie, but instead I chose something that my boyfriend and I could both agree on. He wouldn't have enjoyed an older or foreign movie, so cheesy it was! It is, after all, the couple's holiday, and I wouldn't have felt right watching it alone. Besides, he promised to watch a movie with me, which doesn't happen often, so I didn't want to jeopardize that.

Anyways, I love the idea of this, and I hope it continues throughout the years. I'm looking forward to participating in this event again. Head on over to Holly's blog to check out the other participants and enjoy all the vampire goodness.

#300 -- Fright Night Part II (1988)

Director: Tommy Lee Wallace
Rating: 3.5 / 5

For a long time, I didn't even know there was a sequel to Fright Night. I saw it on TV, so I recorded it right away. But I waited a long time to actually watch it because, well...naturally, most people are a little hesitant when it comes to sequels. Plus, the description was something about Charlie believing that the events in the first movie never even happened. I was scared that I'd just be watching Charlie doing normal things and not believing in vampires. I was just being cynical, though; I should have known that something would happen to make him start believing again. Duh.

So, Charlie went to college, got a new girlfriend named Alex, and started seeing a therapist after the traumatic experience with Jerry Dandrige. The therapist had him convinced that things were not as they seemed. Charlie started believing that Jerry was just your average every day serial killer. He believed that, after having his best friend and girlfriend kidnapped by he guy, his mind created the vampire scenario. I guess, maybe, he thought a vampire would be easier to deal with than a regular serial killer. It doesn't really make sense to me, and it shouldn't have made sense to Charlie. But what can you do? Therapists can make you believe some crazy things. Anyways, Charlie is afraid to visit his old friend Peter Vincent for reasons I don't really get. It was one of two things: either he didn't want to relive what they went through, or he felt bad for Peter because he still believed in vampires. But after he had his last session with the therapist, he decided it was time to go see him, and he took Alex along for the ride. You could tell straight away that Alex was a keeper. She knew all about Charlie's story and his fear of vampires, and she helped him through it. When she met Peter, she didn't think he was crazy with all his "vampires are real!" talk. She thought he was cute, I think. When Charlie said that he loved the book "Dracula," she went to the library and read it in, like, ten minutes. Plus she was pretty hot. I really hope Charlie married that girl.

Anyways, after their visit with Peter, Charlie was hanging out in the lobby of his apartment building while Alex went to the little girl's room. In walks a group of weird looking people. Instantly, his old hesitance came back. He watched these people like a hawk until he realized that he was doing the exact same thing he did with Jerry, and he decided that he was acting crazy. As time progressed, though, he kept seeing these people, and they only became more and more suspicious. He started following them, until he finally saw two of the girls attack one of his friends. It was at this point that he went to Peter for help. They investigated, found a rational explanation (a vampire-themed party) for what he had seen, and then Charlie went back to his "vampires aren't real" mind frame. It went in an opposite direction than the first movie, as Peter ended up being the one trying to convince Charlie that there were vampires around them.

Let's talk about this "group" that I mentioned. They were a pretty colorful bunch, to say the least. One of them I can only describe as being the epitome of the '80s; complete with an over-the-top teased up hair-do, the roller blades that he never took off, and the wacky clothes. One of them I don't think was a vampire at all. He seemed to be the leader of the group, though. I call him bug-man, because he liked to eat bugs, and once he was killed a whole bunch of maggots and mill worms spilled out instead of guts. One was a werewolf. Wait, what!? A fucking werewolf? Oh yes. And he had a thing for Charlie's girlfriend, so you know that didn't end very well. The one that the movie mainly focuses on, though, was Regine. She plagued Charlie's dreams, seemed to follow him everywhere, and she was so seductive that it was a struggle for Charlie to resist her. He was a gentleman, though, and he stayed faithful to his girl. So don't worry, ladies. Charlie's not a complete ass. Anyways, Regine was holding a grudge against Charlie for something I'll let you figure out for yourself (though you can probably figure it out pretty easily). She planned on turning him into a vampire, so that she could torture him for the rest of his everlasting life.

Fright Night Part II is definitely a good movie. It's got everything the first one had: humor, Charlie panicking like a crackhead, some gnarly special effects, and of course, some evil vampires. I didn't like it quite as much as the first one, but I still thought it was great. The vampires looked a little different -- once they turned into full-on vamp form, they kind of looked like giant deformed bats. They looked awesome, but I didn't like them quite as much as their appearance in the first one. I liked Charlie's girlfriend a lot better in this one, though. Amy was kind of annoying, but Alex was wonderful. She was very supportive of Charlie, she never left his side, and when it came down to vampire-fighting, she was no scaredy cat. Oh, here's one thing that I loved about it. Regine actually stole Peter's job as host of Fright Night. Instead of sitting back and letting her steal his thunder, though, he decided to go and kill her -- while they were filming! He failed and got arrested, of course. He was screaming at the cops about vampires and how he was a vampire killer, and he was committed to the crazy farm. Ha!

Anyways, as far as sequels go, I thought this one was pretty great. No, it's not as good as the first one, but they rarely are. It seems like there are quite a lot of people who love this one just as much (if not more) than the first one, so it's really strange that I never knew about it. I really need to stay in the loop from now on. It won't happen, but a girl can dream. I'm always the last to know.