MMM Day 7: #340 -- Frankenthumb (2002)

Director: David Bourla
Rating: 4 / 5

As May Monster Madness draws to a close, I will leave you on a very light note. Today's movie was written by Steve Oedekerk, the same guy who brought us Kung Pow. I think it's pretty easy to tell that this movie is not one to be taken seriously. It's silly, and it's funny as hell. It's actually one of several in the Thumbs! series, which includes Bat Thumb, The Blair Thumb, Thumbtanic, Thumb Wars, and The GodThumb. The characters are all -- you guessed it -- thumbs!

So, we're all familiar with the story of Frankenstein, and this one's pretty much the same. A monster is created, it is cast out, it runs amok, and it's led to a lighthouse and torched. It's amazing how they can tell pretty much the exact same story in such a weird way. These characters aren't nearly as tragic as those in Frankenstein, nor are they quite as sophisticated. In fact, they're all just downright dumb. But dumb in such a fantastic way.

Pepper & Humpy

Dr. Frankenthumb's assistant is not named Fritz, or Igor, as we've grown accustomed to. He is a hunchbacked thing named Humpy. Yes, Humpy. And the Monster actually has a name here! His name is Pepper, because he spiced up Dr. Frankenthumb's life. He's pretty mean to begin with, and he definitely doesn't like Pepper at all. Or small animals. But once his daddy casts him out, he starts to feel bad and becomes a very comical version of the creature that I love. Sad and lonely. I think my favorite part in the movie is when one of the angry mob finds a lighter, and he gets the shit beat out of him for it. An angry mob just wouldn't be the same without the torches, I guess. Either that, or the extremely weird ending, in which Bat Thumb himself makes an appearance.

The way that the characters speak, and their facial expressions are absolutely hilarious. They're over-the-top and stupid as hell, but it works. There are plenty of things going on here that don't make a lot of sense -- like the random cyclops that appears in the mob -- but it's all the more fantastic because of them. It, like Kung Pow, thrives on the things that don't make sense. Because they're nonsensical in a way that makes them hilarious. Again, not a movie to be taken seriously, and I would hope that no one would. If so, there's something seriously wrong. The story of Frankenstein is one that I have always loved, and I have no problem with poking fun at it. It's a light-hearted good time; you'll laugh and you might lose a few brain cells, but hey! We don't need all of those anyway, right?

Note: If you find the link in The Trailer Park for this one, it's actually a link to the full movie, if you're interested.

Well, the madness is over, guys. I had fun, and I hope you guys did too.

#295 -- Van Helsing (2004)

Director: Stephen Sommers
Rating: 4 / 5

Okay, you caught me. This one isn't technically a horror movie, but I don't anyone will argue with my reasons for including it on a horror movie blog. Anyone who hasn't seen this can figure out the basic story of it; and anyone who has seen it probably loves it. It is a wonderful movie with a very interesting and different version of the story of Dracula.

In the beginning, we see Dracula killing Dr. Frankenstein. He had brought Frankenstein to Transylvania to create the Monster for him, and once he'd succeeded, Dracula felt he didn't need the doctor anymore. That, and Victor refused to let Dracula use his creation for evil, like he'd planned. But Dracula didn't count on the Monster having a working brain that could form its own thoughts. The Monster ran away, holding its father in its arms. They ended up at the windmill that the angry mob burned to the ground. Cut to one year later, and we meet Van Helsing as he's attempting to kill the evil Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde kind of looks like an ogre, he's extremely agile, and he jumps around like a ninja. He finishes Mr. Hyde off, and he is then sent to Transylvania to get rid of Dracula.

Once in Transylvania, he meets the beautiful Anna. She's from a family that has been trying for hundreds of years to kill Dracula, and she will be his aide as he attempts to do the same. Along with these two, there's also a friar/weapons inventor named Carl. They eventually meet up with the Monster, who isn't quite as dead as Dracula had originally thought. They all form a very wonderful team, each with their own assets to help out on the mission. Carl is the brains; Anna and Van Helsing are the brawn, and the Monster has some inside information on Dracula that will help them greatly. Turns out, Dracula needed the monster because he was the key to Dr. Frankenstein's machine, and if he was captured once again, Dracula would be able to raise thousands of his children. Also, the only thing that can kill Dracula is a werewolf. Anna's brother is turned into a werewolf, and we assume for a while that he's the one who will kill Dracula. But he is killed by Van Helsing, and Dracula's real enemy is much more powerful.

There are so many great things going on in this movie that I honestly don't know where to begin. First of all, there's that intro. The beginning is my favorite part of the movie, because it shows a battle between Dracula and Victor Frankenstein. I know there must be more movies that bring these two together, but this is the first one I've seen, and I fucking love it. Frankenstein's Monster looks very different than he did originally, but he doesn't look bad at all; he actually looks really great. I was happy that they didn't change the character's traits too much too. He was still a benevolent and misunderstood creature, and at first, Van Helsing was the only person who could see that. He became a great friend and ally to the rest of them. Not only did it combine Dracula and Frankenstein, but it had the Wolf Man as well. The only thing it was missing was a few zombies, and then it would have been a horror fan's wet dream. There were also a lot of great people here. There was Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing, Kate Beckinsale as Anna, and Robbie Coltrane as Mr. Hyde. Yep, fucking Hagrid. He's practically un-recognizable, but it's just god-damn wonderful. Maybe it's just me, since I'm a huge Harry Potter fan, but I was so excited when I realized.

Besides all that, when you get down to the core of it, it's just a great movie. It has a great story that combined a lot of my favorite things, and it was different than any other I'd seen. It was full of non-stop action, wonderful fight scenes (with a bunch of people who were apparently raised as ninjas), amazing special effects, and a nice little love story thrown in for good measure (or to appeal to women...). It was exciting, different, funny at times and sad at times. Overall, it's very simple -- Van Helsing is a wonderful movie, and even though it might not technically be a horror movie, every horror fan should see it.

#236 -- Frankenstein (1931)

Frankenstein (1931) film poster (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rating: 5 / 5
Director: James Whale

This is often considered the single greatest horror movie ever made. While it's not my number one favorite movie, I would probably have to agree. It was one of the first horror monsters in creation, one of the "big three," as I like to call them (along with Dracula and The Wolf Man). It has inspired so much, has been copied and remade, but it has, and never will be, duplicated.

I read the book when I was in high school, and even though I don't remember every little detail, I do remember how completely different it was. In the book, the Monster was actually a very intelligent creature. After he was cast out by his creator, he wandered the wilderness. He eventually taught himself to speak and read, and he had an actual thought process--not like this Monster we've come to know and love. He was also kind of an asshole. His goal was to find Victor, his creator, and have revenge on him and his family for creating and shunning him. He also wanted a bride, so that he wouldn't feel so alone; when Victor didn't comply (or rather, promised him a mate and didn't make good on that promise), he was even angrier. I really can't blame him for being the way he was. I would have been angry too. He didn't ask to be made; and he certainly didn't ask to be feared and hated.

In the movie, though, it seems they softened the Monster up a bit. To me, he was a very sympathetic and tragic character. The doctor was actually named Henry in the movie (they switched the names of Dr. Frankenstein and his best friend), and he was obsessed with creating the Monster. He didn't care how many times people called him crazy, because he wanted to discover something great. He and his assistant, Fritz, stole bodies from the cemetery and parts from the medical lab in order to work on his experiment. Fritz, whose job it was to find the brain for the creature, messed up. He got an abnormal brain rather than a normal brain, which would be the cause of the creature's "viciousness." He stayed alone in an abandoned tower, leaving his family, friends and fiance home to worry about him. His best friend Victor, a doctor friend, and fiance Elizabeth visited him one day, claiming once again that he was crazy. But the storm that would bring his creation to life was brewing, and he was determined to show everyone that he was perfectly sane.


When he finally brought the creature to life, he started to regret it. He seemed fine at first, until Fritz brought a torch into the room, causing the Monster to lash out at everyone. This wasn't because he was vicious, of course; it was simply because he was afraid. But that scared everyone. They locked him up and planned to destroy him. Henry and Elizabeth returned home, leaving Henry's doctor friend to destroy the Monster. That didn't go very well for the doctor, and the Monster escaped.

The first person he met after his escape was a little girl named Maria. He befriended her for a brief period, which is what showed me that he was a severely misunderstood character. They were playing with flowers by a lake, and Maria was showing him how they floated. When he ran out of flowers, he decided to throw Maria in the lake. He had no intentions of harming her in any way; he was only trying to play with her. After that, he ran away in search of his creator. He crashed Henry and Elizabeth's wedding, while an angry mob was forming in the town. The mob chased the Monster to a big windmill in the mountains, where the set fire to the building, and supposedly destroyed the Monster for good.

What I love about the movie is the fact that the Monster is a sympathetic and misunderstood character. Like a snake, he only became vicious when he was threatened. He never meant to hurt anyone; but they frightened him and he saw no other option. I do believe he felt some negativity towards the Frankenstein family for creating and deserting him, but the way this character was portrayed, I really don't think he had the brain power to come up with such things. In the book, yes; but in the movie, he was meant to be a brain-dead monster and nothing more. I really think he only wanted to be reunited with his "father," and not to be left alone any longer.

A couple of things I really enjoyed about the movie--Frederick Kerr as Henry Frankenstein's father. He was silly, and he made me laugh every time he was on screen. He was the typical silly old man, and I really enjoyed him. And, of course, Boris Karloff. This was my first introduction to him, and I've loved him ever since. What's interesting, though, is that he wasn't even credited as playing The Monster. In the credits, there was only a question mark where his name should have been. I guess that added to the mystery and terror of the character, which I thought was really cool.

Either way you choose to look at it, love it or hate it, you cannot deny that Frankenstein is a piece of cinematic history that will never lose its place in the hearts of horror fans.