#341 -- Texas Chainsaw (2013)

Director: John Luessenhop
Rating: 4 / 5

I want to start off by saying that I'm not a TCM uber fan. It's not because I don't like it; it's just because I haven't seen all the movies. I've seen the original, and the 2003 remake. I loved how the original was filmed, and how Tobe Hooper directed it; I thought the remake was okay. So I haven't been all that exposed to the movies or Leatherface. Even if I had seen all those, I'm hardly a purist when it comes to these things (I loved the F13 remake), so I'm sure I'd still like this movie. It's not technically a remake, since it takes place after the events of the first movie; but I'm sure there are some old school fans out there who have a problem here.

So, right after Sally escaped from the Sawyer clan, the police showed up, along with a group of angry townspeople. Those townspeople burned the house to the ground, presumably killing everyone inside. There were two survivors: Leatherface, and a little baby girl. Two of the townspeople took the baby and raised her as their own daughter, named her Heather, and she grew up without having the slightest idea of who she really was. That was, until she got a letter saying that her grandmother had passed away -- a grandmother she didn't even know existed. This grandmother had left her house to Heather, and she and her friends took a little road trip to see the place. Along the way, they picked up a cute hitch-hiker (after hitting him with their van; and he actually paid them to give him a ride.) who would prove to be not quite as friendly as they'd thought. When they left to get something to cook for dinner (which he paid for), he decided to steal everything valuable in the house. That led him to the basement, through the wine cellar, and down to the dungeon where Leatherface lived. He was killed, and the maniac was set loose once again.

The main thing people have a problem with is the time line. Heather was born in 1974, right after all those events took place. She couldn't have been older than twenty-five, so realistically speaking, the movie couldn't have taken place any later than '97 or so. But everything was extremely modern. Since the movie did seem to take place in 2012, she would have to be somewhere in her thirties. People have a problem with this, but I don't. I could tell myself that, maybe these fancy cell-phones and things could have been around back in '97 (after all, I was only seven years old then; I don't have a clue what cell phones looked like then), but that's not really necessary. I do believe that Heather could have been in her thirties. The actress who played her is twenty-six, so it's not too far off. Besides, people do tend to look younger than they actually are. I'm twenty-three, people tell me I look fifteen. It happens, people! Besides, this is a horror movie; often times, while watching horror movies, you have to force yourself to believe things that you otherwise wouldn't. It's normal. I really don't understand why there's such a big issue here. Well, scratch that. It's a modern day sequel to a classic movie that everyone loves. People are bound to look for things to bitch about, and I guess they couldn't find anything else.

My point is, I really don't give a shit about the time line being unrealistic. The biggest issue I ever have with a horror movie is that it's boring. If it's exciting, has a decent story and good characters, I'm behind it. I don't care how contrived it seems; if it's done well, I'm cool. And I think this one was very well done. The crew behind the movie knew their stuff; they were either big fans of the movies or they did their research. With the film-making, it was pretty true to the original. And they threw some things in there that should have made fans giggle (I know I did...). Like Officer Hooper, and the fact that the lady who played Sally in the original was Heather's grandmother. And Gunnar Hansen, the original Leatherface, was a white-haired member of the Sawyer family here. I thought it was cool. There were other small things about the movie that I liked as well. Like the fact that Heather knew absolutely nothing about her blood relatives, yet she still grew up to be a butcher. It's in their blood.

I don't know how he was portrayed in all the other sequels, but what I know from this and the original (I don't remember anything about that remake in 2003), makes me really love Leatherface. In the original, his family forced him to do the things he was doing. They were rude to him, and I can assume that he suffered childhood abuse. He wasn't "all there," and he didn't know any better. He thought what he was doing was normal, and that all these people were hurting him for nothing. In this one, someone said that he had the mind of an 8-year-old trapped in that big 'ol body. It's really sad if you think about it. He's only doing what he was taught to do, and everyone hates him for it. A few other things I really like about Leatherface: he has his priorities straight (family comes first), and he gives absolutely zero fucks. He will chase a bitch out into town with his chainsaw blaring and not think twice about it. I know he's not the brightest guy, and he probably, literally, doesn't think about it. But I think he's a badass. That was what I liked about him in the original, and they kept that going here. He actually chased Heather to a carnival and sent all the patrons fleeing. Most other killers would lurk in the shadows and wait. Not Leatherface!

But what it really comes down to is the fact that the movie was entertaining. The action was pretty much non-stop, there was a decent amount of gore (which I always love), and that family bond that Heather and Leatherface shared was touching. Seriously, I thought I was going to cry. So the times aren't realistic; I can live with that. So the characters did a few things that don't make sense. Because horror movie characters are always smart about the decisions they make. I can live with that too; we all can, because we have to. It was entertaining, and it stayed true to the only original that I'm familiar with. To me, it's a winner.

#289 -- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Director: Tobe Hooper
Rating: 4 / 5

Everyone knows Leatherface, his family, and what they're all about. Some are old-timers, who know everything based on the originals. Some are youngsters and know more about the more recent string of movies. But me? I didn't know anything. I'd seen that one remake in 2003, but I didn't know much about it, and didn't remember much after I watched it. This is the first time - yes, that's right - that I have seen where Leatherface began. The most I've ever known about him and these movies is about Ed Gein, the man on which he was based. He was very loosely based on Gein, and the real man was a much more terrifying thing. But I can see now how they drew inspiration from him to create this piece of cinematic history. I've always felt like such a bad horror fan, being that I'd never seen this movie which receives such high praise. Now I feel...strange, because I feel like I should have enjoyed it a lot more than I did. Not saying I didn't like it; just saying, it's not as great as I'd hoped it would be. I feel like it would have been better had I watched this as a child, with absolutely no knowledge of it, what it was based on, and with nothing to base my experience on. If that had been the case, I think I would have enjoyed it much more. But as it is, I found it to be an okay movie that I respect...but wasn't blown away by.

It was about a group of friends making their way to an old house. It centers on Sally and her brother Franklin. After hearing about a string of grave robberies at the cemetery where their grandfather was buried, they decided to go have a look and make sure his grave wasn't among the ones that had been dug up. After making sure that he wasn't, they went to the house where they spent many days as children. On the way, the picked up a strange hitchhiker who seemed more than a little bit insane. He told them all about his family that ran the slaughterhouse, cut his own hand open, and then sliced into Franklin as well. They kicked him out of their van, of course, but they - mostly Franklin - became worried that the man was angry and might follow them. Little did they know, that man wasn't all they needed to worry about. A string of events led them to a farmhouse that wasn't far from their own, and they met up with a family of cannibalistic redneck crazies. There was the hitchhiker, his brother (Leatherface), a man who I assume was their father, and their grandfather who looked to have one foot already in the grave. There was no group slaying, or anything of that nature, as by the time Sally realized what she'd gotten herself into, her friends were already dead and stuffed in Leatherface's freezer. She ended up having to face this family all on her own.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did not have much of a budget to work with, and it shows. But there were some interesting things going on here. I particularly liked the summery feel of things. It was bright, hot, and the sun flares on the camera made me feel like it could have been a vacation video. The way things looked, in that area, made it feel like there should be happy and fun things going on, which is always an interesting thing in horror movies. The contradictory tones - in the way things look, and the events taking place- immediately make the viewer feel uncomfortable. Leatherface was not hidden in shadows for the majority of the movie; he was drenched in sunlight. There was also something about how everything seemed so natural. You're not being forced into being scared here. Again, there's nothing hidden in shadows, nothing jumping out at you at opportune moments. It feels almost like a relaying of information. Like, here, this is what happened, no tricks, no gimmicks. Everything going on felt like a natural series of events, like these things were supposed to happen. The movie was very subtle in that way, also. The viewer isn't slapped in the face with any of its so-called "scary" things, but we're left to simply feel them.

Texas Chainsaw isn't a blood-drenched horror movie, as some (like I did) might expect. It's not filled with gore and shocking murder scenes. What makes it scary is the mere knowledge of what is happening. Everyone outside of the group of friends was in on it. Everyone they met during their travels had something to do with that house and that family. That is where the terror lies: that no matter where you go, no matter who you meet, and no matter who you feel might help you...you're never truly safe. At the end, it can be assumed that Sally gets away. But there is no real resolution. She doesn't overcome the killers and get revenge on them for killing her friends. And that, too, is where the terror lies...in the fact that evil never truly dies.

Though all of this is well and good, and that subtle terror is something that many people love, I still feel as though things are not as I expected them to be. I had gone through my life knowing that the movies and the character are things that people in the horror community absolutely love and adore. I went all these years believing that I was missing out on something completely wonderful. But now that I've seen it, I feel like it was all hype. Though I can see where the brilliance in the movie lies, I wasn't as blown away by it as I figured I would be. I'm disappointed that it wasn't 100% amazing, as I'd expected. But even if I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped, I still respect it for what it is, and I understand why it's so beloved by my peers. Maybe as I continue on, watch the other movies in the series, and get to know these characters better, I'll be able to fully understand why everyone finds it so amazing. I look forward to delving deeper into this world that Tobe Hooper created.