#46 -- Somebody Help Me (2007)

Director: Chris Stokes

Rating: 2 / 5

Starring Marques Houston and Omarion, Somebody Help Me is just another kids-out-in-the-woods movie. And it's not that great of one. That's not to say that it couldn't have been. I think the story had potential, but it just didn't quite reach that potential.

Brendan (Houston) has planned a surprise birthday party for his girlfriend, Serena. Along with his best friend Darryl (Omarion), Darryl's girlfriend Kimmy and a group of other friends, they party in a cabin out in the woods. Four of the friends go outside to have a little private fun (why they couldn't use one of the rooms in the cabin, I don't know), and they never return. As the rest of the friends search for them, they go missing as well. 

Brendan is suspicious of the neighbor, an old man who likes to watch/take pictures of them, and is having dreams about a little girl (not like that, you perv). It turns out, there's a crazy plastic surgeon down the road who likes to perform unorthodox plastic surgery on his captives. With some research, Brendan discovers that the doctor had "accidentally" killed his wife twenty-something years ago, and now similar murders happen every year on the same day. So, I guess he felt really bad about killing his wife, so now he's...trying to kill everyone else? 

That was my biggest problem with this movie. It was a bit slow and boring, but I kept watching because I was interested in the doctor. I wanted to know exactly why he was doing what he was doing. I figured there was something there, but I just don't know. It doesn't make much sense that he would kill innocent people to rid himself of the grief he felt for killing his wife. You would think that, since he'd killed someone so close to him, he would want to say away from murder. We never know what goes on in someone's head in a situation like that, but it's a movie - they're supposed to tell us. So that was the only explanation - he'd killed his wife on "accident," and I accepted that. But what I wanted to know why he was removing ears and eyeballs, and giving hair and scalp transplants. Sure, he's a plastic surgeon, but there had to have been something else there. 

This was actually an all right movie. Yeah, it was slow. But it was almost worth it to see girls with bondage gags being cut on. However, it was ruined for me because of the lack of explanations and back-story of the killer. Okay for a one-time view, but not good for much else.