#247 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 1: Santa's Slay (2005)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: David Steiman

Spreading holiday fear this Christmas...

So, Christmas time is coming again. While this means empty bank accounts for the most of us, it also means that the 13 Days of Creepmas is back. I had trouble finding topics for Creepmas last year, as I wasn't really aware of all the Christmas themed horror movies out there. This year, I'm going to try my best to find a bunch of movies to watch so my Creepmas can be more eventful and enjoyable. Head on over to the Creepmas Blog for more info, and to find all the other blogs participating. As for my first entry, I bring you a wonderful comedic horror movie about a killer Santa Claus.

Bill Goldberg stars as the evil Santa Claus, who happens to be the son of Satan and some girl named Erica. The myth says that, one thousand years ago, God sent down one of his angels to defeat the evil Santa. They placed a bet, Santa lost, and he was forced to spend the next thousand years being jolly and handing out gifts to children. But those thousand years are up, and Santa's back for some good 'ol jolly destruction. The story centers around a sixteen year-old boy named Nicholas, and his grandfather. Grandpa seems crazy, but has a secret that will prove very useful to the boy as he faces off with Santa.

Christmas is over when I say it's over!

The movie starts off with a family having Christmas dinner, when Santa comes down the chimney and kills them all. This family consists of Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart (from Urban Legend), James Caan (Elf),   and Fran Drescher. They're all killed in some pretty interesting and awesome ways, and I knew right away this was going to be a movie I'd enjoy. Fran Drescher's character had her hair set on fire, which I'm sure many people wished for back in her Nanny days, but I think it would have been more symbolic had something happened to her voice box. I'm not hatin', because I'll admit to being a Nanny fan...just sayin'. Santa's kills are definitely inventive. He uses pretty much anything he can get his hands on--like candy canes, flagpoles, stripper poles, turkey legs, Christmas tree-toppers, and exploding presents to name a few--and not to mention the fact that he could breathe fire. And it was Bill Goldberg, a big ass guy, so he probably really didn't need a weapon at all.

I didn't really know what to expect from it. The main reason I wanted to watch it was Bill Goldberg, and he most certainly didn't disappoint. He was funny and menacing at the same time, and very enjoyable. But I was surprised to find that it's one of those incredible "so bad it's good" movies; except that it's really not all that bad. It's just silly, but what can you expect from a movie about a killer Santa?
I really can't think of anything negative to say about this movie, other than I'm sad that I didn't watch it sooner! It was wonderful, and my Creepmas has gotten off to a really great start. Every Creeper needs this movie on their Christmas watch-list. So go watch it now, and get into the Creepmas spirit.