#95 -- One-Eyed Monster (2008)

Director: Adam Fields
Rating: 5/5

I went into this movie hoping - and I mean really hoping - that it would be amazing. The title alone is intriguing at the least. But trust me, don't watch this with your kids, 'cause it's not about a cyclops. It is about a team of adult film-makers making some pornography in a cabin out in the woods. One of those of those people is none other than porn god, Ron Jeremy (ew...) Unfortunately, their naughty adventures come to a startling halt when Mr. Jeremy's penis is severed and possessed by an alien. Yes, you read that right. This alien-possessed penis then begins to go on a rampage, killing everyone in sight.

You wouldn't think there would be many ways for a penis to kill people, but there are quite a few - my favorite of which is boring a hole straight through a girl's head. You must be asking yourself: why in the world would aliens want to possess a penis? Well, to reproduce of course!

One-Eyed Monster is a freaking awesome movie. It's as simple as that. It's hilarious, but it's also got some good elements of horror. Of course, it's so silly it completely fails to terrify, but that does not take away from the absolute awesomeness. The only bad thing I could possibly say about it is that there wasn't enough Ron Jeremy. I actually really enjoy him as an actor (not in porno, please and thank you). He's actually a funny guy, and he has been in quite a few of my favorite movies. Unfortunately, the alien's took his manhood far too soon, and all we saw of him was his...well, you know. Watch this movie! You'll thank me for it, I promise.