#255 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 9: Saint Nick (2010)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Dick Maas

This little gem comes from the Netherlands, where Christmas traditions are apparently very different from America. I thought that, maybe, their traditions really were different, so I did some research. But it turns out that they're actually pretty similar. So, all in the spirit of the movie, I guess.

In 1492 (about the same time that America was being discovered, by the way), Saint Nick was invading villages and robbing and killing the townspeople. He had a group of henchman who would climb down chimneys to rob people of their goodies. But the townspeople had had enough of it, and they decided to rid themselves of their adversaries. They killed all the henchman in gruesome ways, before setting fire to Saint Nick's ship, killing whoever they'd missed. All of this happened on December fifth, which apparently was Saint Nick's birthday. Now, they say that if there happens to be a full moon on December fifth (which happens every thirty-two years), Saint Nick will return to kill everyone that he could.

The story follows a group of high school kids getting ready to celebrate the holiday season. They all know the "myth" of Saint Niklas, but only a select few actually believe it. The first to encounter the deadly saint is Frank. He and his friends were on their way to a party of some sort, dressed as Saint Nick and his henchman, when the real deal showed up to kill all but one of them.

Frank, the survivor, was blamed for the murders and arrested. He was able to escape with the help of a rogue police officer (who had encountered Saint Nick himself as a child) who had a plan to kill the old jolly man. Armed with a boat load of explosives, they set out to get rid of Saint Nick for good.

The Good

I really enjoyed this movie, so I think just about everything was good. The production values were fantastic. It definitely looked good, and the effects were splendid. I was really impressed with the effects, and the kill scenes were all amazing. The story of Saint Nick was interesting as well. When he and his henchman returned to Amsterdam, they still look as they did when they were killed: all burnt up disfigured. They practically looked like zombies, and the make-up was wonderful in that area as well. He was also very menacing and scary, and seeing him riding his beautiful white horse across rooftops was a wonderful sight to behold. The horse, as well, was somewhat zombie-like. The attacks it had endure were still plain on its body, making it quite menacing--though it was still very beautiful. Saint Niklas' weapon of choice was his staff, a long golden thing with a curly Q on top, which apparently had blades woven into it. He used it quite effectively, and it was a good weapon to use for decapitation purposes. The movie was definitely gruesome and bloody, something that I honestly wasn't expecting.

The Bad

I can't really say much about the actors in the movie, since it was dubbed in English and I couldn't tell much about their performances. The dubbing actors were not very good, though. Eventually, I started watching the real actors' faces, and I think I can say that they did a good job, but I can't be certain. I wish I could have seen it in its original language with subtitles, so I could get a real feel for the characters, rather than just bad voice-overs. But even as it is, I can deal with it. I really enjoyed the movie, bad dubbing or not.


So today's Creepmas entry was definitely better than the last.

I'd had this saved on Netflix for a while, waiting to watch it during Creepmas. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I thought the cover looked neat. I'm glad I finally got to watch it, and I found it highly entertaining. My suggestion to you is that, if you can, you should watch it with subtitles rather than dubbing. But if, like me, it's only available to you this way, you'll still enjoy it. I'd call this one of the better Christmas horror movies there are, and it should definitely be on your Creepmas watch list.

#251 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 5: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: Charles E. Sellier, Jr.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Billy. His grandfather was a crazy old man who told him a scary story about Jolly St. Nick. He told him that Santa would only bring toys to the good children; but to the naughty children, he would only bring punishment. That night, Billy saw his parents murdered by a robber in a Santa suit. He and his baby brother, Ricky, were sent to an orphanage to live with a mean old nun, and Billy grew up with a severe phobia of the fat man in the red suit. When Billy got old enough, he got a job at a local toy store. He seemed fairly normal at first (and pretty good looking, I may say so); that was until Christmas time rolled around. His phobia had not diminished at all. When his boss asked him to play Santa for the children, things really got ugly. They put some alcohol in him at an after-work party, and Billy started to believe he really was Santa. He knew that he needed to punish all the naughty boys and girls. Axe in hand, he set out to rid the world of the bad ones, and bring gifts (terrible gifts, but gifts nonetheless) to those who were good.

This is another one that I'd heard plenty of good things about. It's been called one of the greatest Christmas horror movies out there. I know, I know--that's not really saying a whole lot, but it still had me intrigued. I will tell you, though, it's pretty damn good. If you're a fan of '80s slasher movies, then this one is right up your alley. Which is exactly why I liked it. There were some truly tense scenes (like Billy asking a little girl whether or not she had been naughty), some laugh-worthy scenes, and some genuinely funny moments (like a ten year old Billy completely knocking out a grown ass man). All together, it was a very entertaining movie.

The Good

The characters. There were several characters that I found interesting. First, and most obvious, was Billy. I'm always intrigued by the killers, so long as they're done well, and Billy's story was definitely a good one. He suffered a very tragic and traumatic experience at a very young age. He grew up with a phobia that almost no one else had. He was completely alone. It only took that one little thing to set him off and send him on a killing spree. Billy was a very sympathetic killer, which everyone knows I love. I thought that Mother Superior, who ran the orphanage was a good character as well. Though she was a horrible old lady, the part was played well, and she was truly disturbing--almost more so than Billy. It was this lady who helped Bill turn into what he became. She believed firmly in punishing children in order to make them behave. When he was a child, she would spank Billy with a belt, and she even tied him to his bed so he couldn't leave his room after he had a nightmare. She assured them that punishment was a necessary and good thing for a child. So, it's really no wonder Billy turned out the way he did. There was one other nun, Sister Margaret, who was a very good character. She was very nice to Billy. She stood up for him and tried to help him out on a daily basis. From the expressions on her face, I could tell what she was thinking. She didn't want to work for the evil Mother Superior; but she knew that, if she left, there would be no one around to stand up for the children. I was also interested in Billy's little brother, Ricky. He was a baby when their parents were killed, and we hardly saw him again throughout the entire movie. I was interested in how he turned out, which was partially revealed at the end, and it was spooky as well. It also hinted at a sequel, and I've come to realize that there are actually quite a few.

The kills. They were true slasher-movie kills: inventive, but sometimes kind of cheesy. Like strangling a man with some Christmas lights, or impaling a woman on the antlers of a stuffed deer (that woman was Linnea Quigley, by the way). Of course, they kind of show just how messed up Billy was. If he just wanted to kill these people, he would have just killed them. But he wanted to make sure they knew they were being punished. The gore, surprisingly, was not over the top, but it was done well.

The Bad

Some of the dialogue was cheesy, but that is to be expected. I had no problem with that. When Billy killed, he yelled "Punish!" at his victims. It was either that or, "Naughty!" Sure, it's funny, but really it only made him look stupid. He wasn't a dumb guy, though, so I'm not sure why they decided to make him speak like a neanderthal before he killed. It kind of took away from his scariness, though he wasn't really all that scary to begin with. So, really, the bad's not all that bad, it doesn't hurt the movie at all.

The movie was actually hated by many when it was first released, I think mostly because it depicted a killer Santa Claus. It was yanked from theaters, thanks to a bunch of tight-ass pissed off mothers. But it's really not that bad. The biggest problem I have with it is that it's not suspenseful. We know right off the bat who the killer is, so there is no wondering. No big revelation. The only thing we had to wonder about was how he would kill the next victim. But other than that, I say that it's a very well made movie, and a wonderful addition to my Creepmas movie list.

Day five of Creepmas went pretty well for me. I saw a movie I'd heard a lot of praise for, and I really enjoyed it. I hope your fifth day goes as well as mine.

#247 -- 13 Days of Creepmas Day 1: Santa's Slay (2005)

Rating: 4 / 5
Director: David Steiman

Spreading holiday fear this Christmas...

So, Christmas time is coming again. While this means empty bank accounts for the most of us, it also means that the 13 Days of Creepmas is back. I had trouble finding topics for Creepmas last year, as I wasn't really aware of all the Christmas themed horror movies out there. This year, I'm going to try my best to find a bunch of movies to watch so my Creepmas can be more eventful and enjoyable. Head on over to the Creepmas Blog for more info, and to find all the other blogs participating. As for my first entry, I bring you a wonderful comedic horror movie about a killer Santa Claus.

Bill Goldberg stars as the evil Santa Claus, who happens to be the son of Satan and some girl named Erica. The myth says that, one thousand years ago, God sent down one of his angels to defeat the evil Santa. They placed a bet, Santa lost, and he was forced to spend the next thousand years being jolly and handing out gifts to children. But those thousand years are up, and Santa's back for some good 'ol jolly destruction. The story centers around a sixteen year-old boy named Nicholas, and his grandfather. Grandpa seems crazy, but has a secret that will prove very useful to the boy as he faces off with Santa.

Christmas is over when I say it's over!

The movie starts off with a family having Christmas dinner, when Santa comes down the chimney and kills them all. This family consists of Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart (from Urban Legend), James Caan (Elf),   and Fran Drescher. They're all killed in some pretty interesting and awesome ways, and I knew right away this was going to be a movie I'd enjoy. Fran Drescher's character had her hair set on fire, which I'm sure many people wished for back in her Nanny days, but I think it would have been more symbolic had something happened to her voice box. I'm not hatin', because I'll admit to being a Nanny fan...just sayin'. Santa's kills are definitely inventive. He uses pretty much anything he can get his hands on--like candy canes, flagpoles, stripper poles, turkey legs, Christmas tree-toppers, and exploding presents to name a few--and not to mention the fact that he could breathe fire. And it was Bill Goldberg, a big ass guy, so he probably really didn't need a weapon at all.

I didn't really know what to expect from it. The main reason I wanted to watch it was Bill Goldberg, and he most certainly didn't disappoint. He was funny and menacing at the same time, and very enjoyable. But I was surprised to find that it's one of those incredible "so bad it's good" movies; except that it's really not all that bad. It's just silly, but what can you expect from a movie about a killer Santa?
I really can't think of anything negative to say about this movie, other than I'm sad that I didn't watch it sooner! It was wonderful, and my Creepmas has gotten off to a really great start. Every Creeper needs this movie on their Christmas watch-list. So go watch it now, and get into the Creepmas spirit.