MMM Day 3: #336 -- Leprechaun (1993)

Director: Mark Jones
Rating: 4 / 5

When we're children, we're taught that Leprechauns are cute little things who can bring great luck. Everyone knows the story, at least a little bit. Leprechauns were the protectors of treasure, and they took their jobs very seriously. There are two things that I've always heard about these little guys. One, that if you can catch a leprechaun, he'll grant you a wish. Like a little Irish genie. The second is that, if you catch him, you can convince him to show you where his treasure is hidden. You can imagine that losing the thing that they are sworn to protect must be very devastating. Sometimes, maybe, it might make them very angry. Angry enough to kill in order to get it back.

That's what happened here. A man named Dan O'Grady, after travelling to Ireland to bury his grandmother, returned home with a sack full of gold. He told his wife that he caught a leprechaun, and the leprechaun revealed his hidden treasure to him. O'Grady planned to move out of his house with his new-found fortune, but of course, his wife didn't believe a word he said. Until the little guy showed up and killed her, that is. He managed to imprison the Leprechaun, and O'Grady ended up in a retirement home, probably completely off his rocker after what happened, and a man and his daughter moved into his old house.

Once they move into the house, Tory and her father meet the Three Men Who Paint, brothers hired to fix the house up. They are Ozzy, Alex, and Nathan. Nathan is the cute, hunky one; Alex, the little boy with a potty mouth; and Ozzy, the man who isn't "all there" and acts like a child himself. Ozzy accidentally let the Leprechaun out of its prison, not long before he and Alex discovered the sack full of gold. They hid it in a well, and the Leprechaun went about trying to find it. This little guy was severely angry, and all he wanted was his gold back. But these two kids didn't dare give up there secret, until it was almost too late.

I was just three years old when this movie first came out. I'm not sure when I saw it for the first time, but I've loved this little guy for as long as I can remember. He's cute, in a monstrous sort of way; he's vicious, and just downright funny. Leprechauns are supposed to be these cute little men who like to cause harmless mischief; not this little devil who likes to kill anyone who gets in his way. It's just like a killer Santa: it's just not right. But at the same time, it's hard to be scared of this guy because he's so darn cute and funny. That's not to say that he doesn't do some horrible things, because he certainly does. In this one, he actually killed a man with a pogo stick. Just jumped up and down right on the guy's chest. It's comical, sure, but just imagine! That had to hurt. As far as I can remember, he's always had unique and entertaining kills, which is one of the reasons that I love him.

Give me back me gold!

So, once the Leprechaun gets his gold back, will he stop tormenting the ones who took it? Well, if they haven't spent it, or eaten it (like Ozzy did...), I suppose he would. But that rarely happens; people who come into that sort of money will usually spend it pretty quickly. A lot of the times, people will give him back a portion, thinking that he won't notice if they keep just a little bit -- which is far from true. He knows exactly how much he's supposed to have, and he's not going to let you off easy. Even if you do think it's just a little bit. So, it's usually just one attempt after another, until everyone is dead and he can get every little bit of his gold back.

Now, is the movie perfect? No, of course not. The effects aren't the best I've ever seen, but they're far from the worst. But that's really the only thing going against it, and I can live with that. Jennifer Aniston plays Tory, and she must be good since she's come so far since then. I loved Ozzy and Alex the most, though. They worked really well together, and I loved both of those characters. Ozzy, the big teddy bear; and Alex, the cute little potty mouth ("Fuck you, Lucky Charms!" ha!) The story is great, I think, even if it is a little silly. If you take a look at the mythology of Leprechauns, though, it really isn't all that farfetched. It does make sense; it's just not something we're used to seeing. Perfect? No. Entertaining? Hell yes! I mean...it's a killer Leprechaun for crying out loud. How could you not love it?

MMM Day 2: #335 -- The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Director: James Whale
Rating: 5 / 5

I first saw this many years ago and, even though I didn't remember everything about it, I did remember that it was very sad. The first one was sad in how misunderstood The Monster was; but this one is on another level entirely. It really tugged at my heartsrings, and actually brought tears to my eyes. The Monster definitely proved himself a very tragic character here, as if there was any doubt. This, along with the first, doesn't exactly feel like a horror movie to me. Sure, there are mad scientists, and the monster that came from their experiments, and all that good stuff. But The Monster isn't the villain at all. The townspeople are the real monsters here, because they refuse to even try to understand him. They see something different, they don't understand it, and so they attack it. They're bullies. If they'd taken the time to get to know him, they'd realize that he meant no harm to anyone. It's a tragic, dramatic love story...with monsters. The best kind!

So, at the end of the first movie, we saw the angry mob chase Henry and his Monster to a windmill and try to kill them with fire. They thought they were successful, but they, of course, were not. Henry was injured, but The Monster was only plagued with anger. At first, it seemed like he'd changed; like he was so angry that he didn't even care anymore, because he was attacking people for no reason. But then I realized that these were the people that had chased him there and set fire to him. He wanted revenge. Once he got away from those people, he changed back into the big teddy bear that I've always loved. He actually made a friend in this one: a lonely, blind musician. He was drawn to the man because of his music, and the man was extremely kind to him. He was blind to his "hideous" features, but he wasn't blind to his sweet nature. The man took care of him, fed him, gave him wine and cigars, and even taught him how to speak. At one point, The Monster began to cry, because he'd finally found a friend. But of course, all good things must come to an end. A couple of hunters wandered by and tried to attack The Monster. Afraid, he thrashed about and ended up setting fire to the old man's shack. Fortunately, the hunters had gotten the old man out before the fire consumed everything.

Meanwhile, back at the Frankenstein Castle, Henry was recovering, and he and Elizabeth finally got married. He was visited by Dr. Pretorious, a man with his own plan. He was able to create these little miniature people in glass bottles, and he said that he grew them himself, rather than creating them from dead parts. How he did this, I have no idea, but it was definitely interesting. What he wanted to do was combine their separate brands of genius to create another creature: a bride for The Monster. Henry wanted no part of it, however. He resisted, until Pretorious brought The Monster to his house and kidnapped Elizabeth. So, Henry agreed in order to get his girl back. It was successful, and the bride was born. But she, like everyone else, was terrified of The Monster. Heartbroken, The Monster decided that he no longer wished to live, and he planned on taking his new Bride, as well as Dr. Pretorious down with him. He actually let Henry and Elizabeth leave, though I don't really understand why. I feel like he was angry with Henry for creating and then abandoning him. The only explanation that I can come up with is this: The Monster knew that they were in love, something he wished desperately to feel, and he thought that they should be able to enjoy that for as long as possible. He's a monster, sure, but he's a compassionate soul. I've always preferred this one to the first, probably because, even though I'm a horror lover, I'm also a sucker for a good love story. This one is tragic, but it's still a love story. It evoked emotions within me that I've been through in my life: abandonment, loneliness, and misunderstanding.

In the first movie, Boris Karloff's name wasn't included in the credits. Where it should have been, there was a question mark instead. Here, he's credited as just Karloff. At the end of the credits, it says: "The monster's mate: ?" So, they stuck with that little tactic, which I found to be really cool in the first movie. Of course, now we know that The Bride was Elsa Lanchester (who also played Mary Shelley, which I have just now realized), but I just think it's an awesome scare tactic. I think more movies should do this; it adds some mystery.

May Monster Madness Day 1 -- Monster Spotlight: Zombies

So, May Monster Madness is finally here. I feel like I'm late, but it cannot be helped. I work the night shift, so the only time I have to write is during the day. I actually did try to watch a movie, but exhaustion took over and I kept falling asleep every five or ten minutes. So, that's out of the question, sadly. Instead, my first day is going to be a simple one. I did Monster Spotlight once before, and never did find the will to do it again. I guess now is the perfect time, and I'm going to focus on my favorite of all horror movie monsters: zombies! From here on out, I will be reviewing monster movies, but for now, let's talk about some of those awesome undead creatures. These are my favorite zombies.

Fat Santa Zombie from Silent Night, Zombie Night

I watched Silent Night Zombie Night for Creepmas last year, and I was really disappointed by it. That being said, one of the zombies left a mark on me. I don't know what it is about this guy, but I thought he was so awesome. He looks like he just ate one too many Christmas pies or something. He was most definitely the best part about that movie.

Zombie Baby from Dead Alive

This is an entirely different story, however. I loved Dead Alive. It was cheesy, it was gory, and just all around a good time. This little guy is what happens when two zombies make love. If a zombie love scene isn't awesome enough, add in a little zombie child chewing its way out of its mother. And he's just so gosh-darn cute, don't you think? The first thing I thought when I saw him was, "This is what mine and Jason's baby will look like." Jason Voorhees is my future husband, and I see him in pretty much everything. I do honestly believe this is what our child is going to look like. So, that's reason enough for me to love him. Rock on, Jason Jr.!

Cemetery Zombie from Night of the Living Dead

There were plenty of great zombies in this classic movie, but this is the one that stuck with me. His is one of the first faces you see in the movie, and he is precisely what was "coming" for Barbara. He is a part of one of the most known and quoted scenes in horror, and I love him for it. I love all the other zombies in the movie as well; especially the way their heads sounded when they were hit by hammers. Great stuff.

Julie from Return of the Living Dead 3

I'm sure there are quite a few people out there who were confused by Julie. Is she something that I want to run away from; or do I want to jump her bones? She was sexy as hell, and I personally consider her a sex symbol. I don't care if she was dead or not. Not only was she a bombshell, but she was also a badass. She was not one to be fucked with, even though that's precisely what I'd like to do with her. I'd just have to steer clear of all the glass/springs/wires pierced into her body.

"I can feel myself rot" zombie from Return of the Living Dead

What I love about this gal is that she was the first talking zombie that I'd ever seen. She might even be the first talking zombie ever; I'm not sure. She explained exactly why she and her zombie friends had to eat brains, and she succeeded in making me feel bad for them. She was such a sad lady.

"Send more paramedics" zombie from Return of the Living Dead

Most of my favorite zombie characters do come from the ROTLD series, because...well, those movies rock. I just love this guy, because that was one of my favorite scenes in the movie; and it's one of my favorite horror quotes ever. It was just so funny. The words themselves are funny, but the way he said it made it even better. It was like he was ordering Chinese food. 

The zombie chickens from Poultrygeist

There's nothing quite like zombie chickens, especially ones that people feel inclined to sing about. This movie is one of my absolute favorites. It had everything going for it, and the zombies were fantastic. I mean...angry Native American spirits trapped in frozen chickens that have come to life. What could be better?

Tarman from Return of the Living Dead

Ahh, Tarman. We all love you. Not only does he look awesome, but he was pretty darn scary, especially when he showed up out of nowhere, dripping his goo everywhere. Besides, he's the reason that all those cute graphics say "Brainssss!" in their thought bubbles rather than "Any body part I can get ahold of!" Or "Flesh!" Neither of which have quite the same ring to them. 

So, those are my favorite zombies. I think it's pretty easy to tell what my favorite zombie movie is, huh? Who are your favorite zombies? Anyone I left out? 

Oh, and enjoy these other wonderful Monster-related posts!

#334 -- Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust (2008)

Director: Silvia st. Croix
Rating: 3.5 / 5

When I saw the first of this trilogy, I loved it. It was delightfully cheesy, with just enough horror to make it amazing. Even though I've still yet to see the third one, I think I can safely say that I'm a fan of the trilogy. This one wasn't quite as good as the first, but it was still really enjoyable.

At the end of part one, we left off with the rest of the gingerbread men being sold at some sort of bake sale. I guess they thought that only that one particular cookie had been possessed; otherwise, why in the hell would they have sold them? Anyways, when this one starts out, one of those cookies is being delivered to a movie studio, along with a box of other goodies. This time, Gingerdead Man isn't killing for revenge, though. Sadly, he didn't come back for Sarah. This time, he's trying to move his soul into an actual human body, and he plans this from something that he read in a Satanic spell book. It, of course, calls for some human sacrifices, so he sets about killing everyone at this movie studio.

Cheatum Studios is own by a guy named Kelvin. He inherited the place from his father, and is apparently running it into the ground. They've got no money, they're running several products that they can hardly afford, and everyone on set hates each other and they're always getting into fights. Plus, their biggest celebrity is a little whiny brat, because he think he's better than the part he's supposed to play, and he spends most of his time in his trailer refusing to come out. They've got plenty of problems. When this killer cookie shows up, though, those problems don't seem like such a big deal. I think what I like most about this movie is the movies that Cheatum was making. There was one called Space Spankers, or something like that; there was some sort of parasite in some girl, and the only way to get it out was to vigorously spank her. There was something about a Hamburger Detective, and then the best one...Tiny Terrors. This one was about some little demonic puppet creatures, and they were fantastic. One looked like the love child of Papa Smurf and the Abominable Snowman. One was an evil robot; one was a big-boobed pirate lady, and one called Shit-For-Brains that was a baby doll with shit on top of its head. Then, there was one called The Haunted Dildo. It was literally a dick with a face, in a tuxedo. I seriously want them to make a movie just about these little guys. Hell, they could make a movie just about The Haunted Dildo, and I would be all over it.

Anyways, there were some other things going for the movie. I really liked Kelvin, I think mostly because of this guy's acting. It was horrible, but I could tell that it was purposely horrible, which I love. There was also a guy named Tommy, who was a part of a Make A Wish foundation, and his dying wish was to see the studio. He was wonderful, and I thought the actor that portrayed him was phenomenal. There weren't really that many gore effects to speak of, even though there were a lot more kills here than in the first one. The most memorable kill was when Gingerdead Man fucked a gay guy in the ass with a curling iron. Good stuff.

Even though there were some great things going on here, I don't think it was quite as good as the first one. There were more kills, true, but it was missing that special something that the first one had. There weren't as many cookie-puns; or, if there were, they were forgettable. There was no Gary Busey, which I think had something to do with it, since we got used to the idea of him being the Gingerdead Man. That's really the only problem I had with it: that it wasn't quite as funny as the first. But despite that, I still found it highly entertaining, and I'm looking forward to seeing part three.

#333 -- Albino Farm (2009)

Directors: Joe Anderson & Sean McEwen
Rating: 3 / 5

There were a few reasons that I found this interesting. First, and most obvious, the synopsis and title together gave me an idea of what the movie was about, and I liked it. Second, Chris Jericho. I like his in-ring character, so I was interested in seeing what type of character he'd be playing here. From the title and the little bit of information in the synopsis, I thought that this was going to be about some kind of farm where people are transformed into mutants; then, said mutants run rampant throughout the town, and these random kids will have to fight for their lives. It was nothing like that. I'll get to it in a moment.

First, let's meet our characters. Stacy, the final girl who is far from interesting. Brian, the asshole. Melody, the skanky one (because she took her tits out to convince Jericho and company to take them to the Albino Farm). And Sanjay, the nerd/token minority. None of these characters were extremely interesting. I'd say my favorite was Sanjay, but that's just because I have a soft spot for nerds. He didn't have that many lines, and he wasn't all that interesting either. The most interesting thing about them was how stupid they were. So, they were going on a trip, of course. Doing a project for school on rural America and its legends, or something like that. They get a flat tire after almost running over a dwarf, and they end up at a gas station where a fat blind man tells them that they should go home. He says something about a legend, mutters nonsense no one understands, and convinces the kids that they just have to find out what this legend is all about. So, they go in search of it. In the town of Shiloh, they find out that these people aren't normal; they all suffer from a deformity of some sort. Some just have hair-lips or crooked eyes; some others have claw hands and other nasty stuff. No one wants to tell them anything about the Albino Farm. Still convinced that it's real and they have to find it, they continue on their journey, until they meet Jericho and company. After paying them twenty bucks and flashing some boobies at them, they agree to take them where they want to go.

The Albino Farm is a fenced in establishment where mutants run around killing people. These people are seriously fucked up, and they're pretty angry about something. Maybe they just don't like outsiders. So, one by one, the group starts to die off. The last two end up in some caves, running from the mutants and blowing shit up.

I was kind of confused about all this at first, but I think I get it. The townspeople were all uber religious (which I'm sure is completely shocking to everyone). There was some scripture that said something about deformed people being cast out. So, I assume that all these deformed folks were imprisoned in the "farm," and some of their descendants were still there, just waiting until some poor kids showed up. That doesn't really explain how the other people were free (they weren't as bad as those in the farm, but they were still technically deformed in some way). I guess that, after so many years, they realized what they were doing wasn't right and stopped imprisoning people. Some were just unlucky.

The movie wasn't great. There wasn't a lot of suspense, and it wasn't entirely unique. We've all seen this shit many times before. I will say, though, that the creature effects were wonderful. The mutants in the farm were truly disgusting and ugly; and they looked great. The acting? It was okay. I really enjoyed Chris Jericho, though. I like him inside the ring; even when he's being a dick, he's entertaining. Some people have problems with his character here, because he's a dumb redneck (his in-ring persona is very intelligent), but I still found him entertaining. He was funny, and definitely the most interesting character of the lot. It was just too bad that he wasn't present more often. The movie really tried, but it just fell short. It had some things going for it, but in the end it was completely forgettable.

#332 -- Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Director: Guillermo del Toro
Rating: 5 / 5

Once again, I'm caught reviewing a movie that's not technically horror. IMDB classifies it as drama/fantasy/war. But I really don't give a shit what anyone else calls it. There are elements at work here that just scream horror to me. Besides, it's one of my favorite movies, and I'll review it if I want to, dammit.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, the princess of the Underworld escaped into the human realm. Having been in the dark for so long, the sun blinded her and made her forget who she was. Devastated, her father had portals erected all around the world, awaiting her return. He was certain that she would return one day; perhaps in a different form, in a different time. But she would return, and he would be ready to embrace her.

In Spain, in the 1940s, during war-time, a young girl named Ofelia moved to the countryside with her mother. They lived with Ofelia's new stepfather, Captain Vidal, an evil and malicious army captain. Her mother was with child and very sick, though Captain Vidal didn't care about her at all. All he cared about was having a son that would carry on his name (which didn't work for him). Vidal wasn't only cruel to his enemies; he was cruel to everyone he came in contact with, unless they completely obeyed him without question. Even then, they could never be sure that he wouldn't turn on them. With her mother being ill, and herself being surrounded by death and violence, it's no surprise that Ofelia longed for an escape. A fairy-like creature led her to a labyrinth out in the woods, where she met the Faun. The Faun told her that she was the long-lost princess of the Underworld, and that her father was awaiting her return. Before she could return to her throne, however, she would have to complete a set of tasks to prove that her soul hadn't turned mortal. The Faun gave her a magical book that would explain each of her tasks, and these tasks had to be completed by the full moon.

Pale Man

Ofelia's tasks led her on an incredible adventure, and she met some very interesting creatures. There was a giant toad living in the trunk of a massive tree; the fairy-like creatures I mentioned earlier, which were able to shapeshift and sometimes resembled stick-bugs. There were two creatures that out-shined all the rest. First, a creature called Pale Man, who reminded me of Lord Voldemort, with his flat snake-like nose. His eyes weren't in his head, though; they were in his hands. His body was disgusting, yet somehow compelling (he looked like a naked old man, thankfully not anatomically correct), and he was genuinely creepy as fuck. Then there's the Faun, who was an absolute masterpiece. He's based on the Pan of Greek mythology, which is obvious by the title. Pan was a goat/human hybrid in those mythologies, and that was taken to another level completely here. Visually, Pan's Labyrinth is one-hundred-percent stunning and beautiful. The story was incredible, and I liked how it stayed true to mythology while creating something completely different (like how Ofelia was not supposed to eat anything when she entered the lair of Pale Man, as with Persephone when she first entered the Underworld). The conflicting emotions of child-like wonder, fear, hatred, and love definitely made for a wild ride.

The Faun

To me, Pan's Labyrinth is a perfect movie. It has everything that a good movie should have: wonderful characters, beautiful cinematography, uniquely compelling and spooky creatures; suspense, and scenes that will make you genuinely worry about the characters you've come to love. It is a very dark fairy tale that is both beautiful and frightening.

Fun fact: Some of you might already know this, but I certainly did it. Doug Jones, who played both The Faun and Pale Man, also played Abe in the Hellboy series. I think this guy has a knack for portraying fantastical and awesome creatures.

#331 -- The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005)

Director: Paul Gagne
Rating: 2 / 5

So, I went to Movie Stop the other day because I realized that I hadn't bought anything new in a while, and I wanted to add something to my collection. I decided to buy one that I'd seen and knew I liked, and then one that I hadn't seen. So, I bought Dead Silence, and...this. Thank goodness it was only $2.99. I walked out of the store hoping that it would be good, but knowing deep down that it probably wouldn't. Mostly because on the cover it boasted that it was "more terrifying than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," and that it was "the scariest movie of the year!" If it was really any good, it wouldn't be comparing itself to something else. But...why compare your shitty movie to one that people around the world have come to absolutely cherish? That's just dumb. But I digress...

Let me break it down for you. The story of the killer is broken into different parts in the movie, so you find out new information a little at a time. But I'll just let you in on the whole sorry mess right now. Marty Sickle (clever, right?), who worked at the slaughterhouse, raped and killed some girl. Everyone knew he did it, but due to lack of evidence, he was set free. The girl's boyfriend and his jock friends decided to take matters into their own hands, so they went to the slaughterhouse to get some revenge. They hanged Marty over a tub and left. But the rope broke, and Marty fell into the water. Uncomfortable, probably, but very much alive. A little while later, a couple decided to go into the slaughterhouse to have sex (because to the girl, the idea of making love where defenseless animals were murdered was extremely arousing). Marty came out of the shadows, killed the guy, and the girl took his head off with a machete.

The first scene in the movie was that couple getting freaky next to the tub. The scene took about ten minutes. Then it cut to ten years later, and a group of college kids had decided to go to the slaughterhouse. By then, Marty was an urban legend. They said that, if you go to the slaughterhouse, at the exact place where he died, and say a rhyme ("Sickle once, Sickle twice, Marty came to take a life," or some stupid shit like that) three times, he'd rise up from the tub and kill everyone. So, the guys thought it would be funny to get one of their friends to put on a costume and jump out at their girlfriends to scare them out of their bras and panties. But the thing is, it took them for-FUCKING-ever to even get there. There was a ridiculously long party scene (a very boring party, by the looks of it; I thought college kids were experts on this...) that was absolutely pointless, and then they finally made their way to the slaughterhouse. They did their little rhyming game, but their stoner friend (whose name was, literally, Stoner) was too busy -- you guessed it-- getting stoned in his car outside to remember that he was supposed to be doing something. That was his role throughout the entire movie, by the way: getting stoned in the car. He did nothing else until the last ten minutes. Anyways, when they started to hear creepy things, the guys just thought it was Stoner doing what he was supposed to be doing. It wasn't, of course, and it turns out that their little rhyme actually worked.

Looks more like a pedophile than a psycho-killer...

When I started to get really bored and looked at the timer, I realized that nearly an hour had went by, and nothing had happened. It took about ten minutes for those kids to die at the beginning. The party scene was about twenty minutes, and I think fifteen of those focused on two naked chicks making out. Then, once they finally left the party, they spent 5-10 minutes wandering around an abandoned town, with the final girl whining constantly about how she wanted to go home. So, that's approximately thirty/fourty-five minutes. At about the fifty minute mark, someone finally got killed, and by that point, I would have been happy with someone falling down and bumping their head. The kill was actually pretty decent, but it only got worse from there. And, after wasting so much time developing characters that still remained underdeveloped, they actually killed one person offscreen. After wasting our time, they had the balls to not show us everything, those fuckers. The entire movie was about an hour and a half, so you can see how long any real action took place. Actually, scratch that. There was no real action. The so-called action sequences were rushed and half-assed and didn't look good at all.

Let me go back to that final girl. I hated her. She was annoying as fuck, and all I wanted was for her to shut the hell up. I actually liked her best friend more; but she, for some reason wasn't final girl material. I guess because she didn't rope her cheating boyfriend into proposing to her by telling him she was pregnant. The movie wasn't that bad, technically speaking. The kills did look cheesy, but I've definitely seen worse. It was just too slow, boring, and had too many scenes that made absolutely no sense at all (like the girl taking her skirt off at the end, for no reason whatsoever). It boasts that it's scarier than TCM; but it's just a shitty rip-off that tried to be good and failed miserably.

#330 -- Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Director: Robert Hiltkiz
Rating: 4 / 5

One thing you should understand about this movie: it's really not all that good, technically speaking. There's not a whole lot of action and the kills are kind of dull; plus, the main character is a weirdo. But, dammit, it's entertaining and I love it. I'm not the only one who loves it, so you can't blame it on my soft spot for summer camp horror. It's genuinely an awesome movie.

The two main characters are Angela and Ricky. Angela's father and brother were killed in a horrible accident when she was little, and she went to live with her super creepy aunt and Ricky. Auntie sent them away to camp Arawak, and that's when things got sticky. Angela was not a normal kid by any means, which I guess is understandable after all the trauma she'd been through, with watching her family die and everything. She never spoke, never participated in any activities, and for a good chunk of the movie all she did do was stare at people. Definitely not your average kid, which is why all the other kids liked to pick on her. They were absolute pricks to her, which kind of pissed me off. Sure, she was different, but that doesn't give you any reason to be so mean. The only person who actually got to know her was Ricky's best friend, Paul. He had a little crush on her, and they ended up having their version of a summer fling. He was the only person that could get her to talk. It was sweet.

Let's get back to everyone picking on Angela; whenever this happened, they died. The first person you'll actually be extremely glad about. From the moment they arrived at camp, you could tell this guy was a pedophile. He actually tried to molest/rape Angela, and he ended up with a huge barrel of boiling water dumped on him. Good fucking riddance. Since the murders happened after someone had done something wrong to Angela, it's pretty easy to guess who the killer was; it was one of two people. I could tell you which one, and it wouldn't ruin the ending at all, but I won't do that. I'll let you figure all that good stuff out for yourself.

The kills really aren't anything special, which is extremely unfortunate. If they had been, this movie would be right up there with the rest of my favorites. The one memorable one was when it was implied that a girl was fucked to death with a curling iron. I'm not sure if that was the intention, or if that's what actually happened, but...it sure as hell seemed like it. And that's just hilarious. Other than that, though, they're pretty bland. The characters are another story altogether. You'll be creeped out by Angela, but feel sorry for her at the same time. You'll love Ricky because he's so sweet and protective; plus he's got a mouth on him that would make a sailor blush. Paul was also a sweetheart, and you'll love the cute little relationship that he and Angela had. The rest you'll probably hate. They were all dickheads. When they were killed, even if the kills were a bit dull, you'll love it just because it means they'll finally shut the fuck up. So, the characters were interesting and easily evoked some kind of emotion, whether it was good or bad.

But none of that even matters. The best part of this movie is the ending, and that's what makes it so popular. There's a twist that you will not expect at all, and it's just so fucked up that you can't help but love it. Plus, it's the scariest part in the whole movie. It genuinely creeps me out. And it's so messed up you won't know whether you want to laugh, cry, or puke all over everything. So, if you can make it to the end (I'm making that sound like a more difficult task than it is; it's not that bad), you definitely won't be sorry.

#329 -- My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Director: George Mihalka
Rating: 3.5 / 5

I'm feeling kind of weird about this movie right now. I saw it many years ago, and I loved it. All this time, I've been thinking it was amazing. Now that I've watched it again, it's not as good as I remember it. I guess it's because, now, I've seen so many horror movies that it's easy to find flaws in them. But, I still really enjoy this movie, flaws and all.

It takes place in a small town called Valentine Bluffs. Naturally, this town has always been very much into Valentine's Day. There was a hundred-year-old tradition of holding a dance on the 14th, but one day, that tradition died -- along with several townspeople. There was a cave-in at the mine, leaving several workers trapped. When the rescue team finally got to them, they found only one man still alive: Harry Warden. After having been down there for a while, his mind was unraveled just a little bit. They found him munching on someone's arm. When he got out, he killed several people in the town, including the supervisors who I assume were supposed to be watching them and making sure they were safe (instead, they were at the dance). Since they failed him, they had to die. After he killed, he would cut out his victim's heart and send it in a little heart-shaped package with a warning: to never hold the Valentine's Day dance ever again. The town heeded that warning for twenty years, until one year, they decided to hold the dance again. Harry was, after all, locked away in a mental asylum, so they figured they were safe. Of course, as you know, they were dead wrong.

Just as all the festivities were coming together, people started getting murdered. The only person who believed Harry was back was a crazy old bartender. No one believed him, and instead chose to laugh in his face. If only they had listened...of course, if people in horror movies listened to the crazy old man, there wouldn't be a horror movie at all. The mayor recognized, a little too late, what was going on, and cancelled the dance. That didn't stop a group of joker miners, who decided to have a little V-Day party of their own. They went to the mines and started their celebrations. Most of them weren't stupid enough to go into the actual mines; they just stayed up top in the bunkers. That didn't save all of them, of course, but it did prevent them from having to be stuck down below in the dark. There were a few of the group that decided to go down in the mines, because the girls wanted a tour of where their fellas worked. They became trapped down there with Harry, desperate for a way out, and trying to escape with their lives.

The part that I like most about the movie is the human hearts sent as Valentine's Day cards. Each one had some kind of note with it. They usually rhymed and were pretty catchy. The kills themselves, for the most part, weren't very memorable; but that aspect of them made it interesting. It succeeded at being somewhat suspenseful, as we wondered if the kids would survive. Since the man's name was shouted all over town, constantly, though, there really wasn't any suspense involving the killer's identity. There was a twist at the end that's not exactly expected; but it doesn't make much sense. That's okay, though. Even though it's flawed, what I like about the movie is the concept. There are a shitload of Christmas horror movies; a couple based on April Fool's, and who knows how many based on Halloween. I've even seen a couple for Thanksgiving. But, if there's another based around the good 'ol Valentine's Day, I'm unaware of it. Besides the re-make of this one, of course. The cool thing about it (just like ones with killer Santas) is that it's just not right. Valentine's Day is the day of love; the couples' holiday. There's supposed to be happiness, warm embraces, and tons of love spread around. It takes that and throws some blood in its face, and I like that. It's different, and it's interesting. It's not a perfect movie by any means, but it's entertaining, and that's what really matters.

Caution, spoilers ahead!

#328 -- Idle Hands (1999)

Director: Rodman Flender
Rating: 4 / 5

Oh, how I love reminders of my childhood. I was nine years old when this movie came out, and I watched it constantly as a kid. I even taped it from my TV, along with Cherry Falls and Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th. It was one of my favorite movies back then, and it had been way too long since I'd seen it. Watching it now, I can see that it's not a perfect movie at all; but I still think it's absolutely wonderful.

Devon Sawa stars as Anton, a slacker/stoner with not much going for him. Okay, nothing going for him. There's been a string of murders going on in his town, but he doesn't know anything about that, of course. He's too busy watching cartoons and getting high. But one night, the murders come into his house, when he finds his parents dead bodies. He starts to think that, maybe, he had something to do with it. It becomes undeniable when he accidentally kills his two best friends, Mick and Pnub (played by Seth Green and some other guy). His hand has a mind of its own, he can't control anything he does, and the hand wants to kill everyone around him. He eventually decides that the only solution is to cut the hand off; but that doesn't kill it, it just gives it more mobility and it becomes more dangerous than ever.

As in every horror movie, there's a character that knows everything about what's going on. That character comes in the form of Vivica A. Fox. She travels the world in search of the possessed hand (which, I guess, jumps from body to body, though I'm not sure) hoping to stop it from taking an innocent soul to Hell with it. The innocent soul that it's after this time is Anton's girlfriend, Molly (Jessica Alba), and they've got to save her before the hand can get to her.

As a kid, all I saw when I watched this was a whole bunch of awesome. I still see that, of course, but I can recognize the flaws now. Like, back then, I never even questioned how Mick and Pnub came back from the dead. I thought, "Zombies! Awesome!" Now, though, I really do wonder how the fuck that happened. They said something about a bright light, but it was too far away, so they just turned back around. Typical stoners. There are definitely parts of the story that don't make sense, but that doesn't even matter. It's always been an awesome movie, and it always will be. It's got some creepy things going for it: the glow-in-the-dark writing on the ceiling that says "I'm under the bed," the zombies, and the murder stuff. All of that was really well done, I thought, and the effects were great. There was an awful lot of comedy in there too; it was very dark comedy, but great comedy too. IMDB says it's horror, but I'm sure a lot of people just call it comedy. There's just too much blood and guts for me to be able to say that, though.

The point is, even though it's flawed and far from perfect, it's a wonderfully dark and funny movie that will always have a special place in my heart.

#327 -- Dead Noon (2007)

Director: Andrew Wiest
Rating: 2 / 5

Oh, how they rope me in. I found this on Demand, and I thought the idea was somewhat interesting. Nothing I'd be dying to watch, though. When I scrolled down a little bit and saw Kane Hodder's name, I was completely sold. They get me like that every time. But don't let them fool you too; Kane is hardly in the movie at all, and even his awesomeness couldn't save it.

The back story on these folks is interesting enough, but somehow they just failed to deliver. So, back in the old West days, a sheriff finds his partner, Frank, sleeping with his wife. He kills his wife, every member of Frank's posse, and then sets out to kill Frank himself. He succeeds, and Frank ends up in Hell. While in Hell, he plays poker games with who I assume was the Sheriff. They always have the same deal: if Frank wins, he gets to go back to Earth. Frank usually loses, but this time he gets what he wants. So Frank walks right out of Hell and goes on a killing spree, searching for the last remaining relatives of the Sheriff's, so he can end their bloodline once and for all.

Pretty cool, huh? No. Frank and his resurrected posse go about killing everyone, and it's just mindless slayings. There's no real structure to it. For the most part, it'll leave you feeling confused. Once you realize that he's searching for the rest of the bloodline, it makes a little bit of sense; but not much. So, we're following Logan and Stuart, brothers and great-great-grandson's of the sheriff. They're cops too, and they're out searching for whoever has been killing all these people. Along with some chick (who happens to be much better with a gun than both of them combined), they're hoping they'll be able to stop Frank. They finally learn what Frank's all about, and it doesn't seem to bother them all that much. And, that's pretty much it. There's a fight scene at the end, and a shoot-out, and then - finally - it's over.

So, where does Kane Hodder come into play? Well, at the beginning he's got some girl held hostage, and he's telling her this story. She's all beat up and we can only assume that he means her harm. I'm going to spoil the ending now. Not that you care. The movie spoils itself by being so terrible. So, Kane ends up being a demon himself, and he's here to finish what Frank couldn't: ending the bloodline. The girl was supposed to have been Logan's daughter, which is what she thought all her life, but apparently she was Frank's daughter. I'm not really sure how that happened; I guess he raped Logan's wife. It wasn't explained at all. So, that's it. Kane's in the movie for maybe ten minutes altogether. And here's an interesting fact that I found on IMDB-- he wasn't even in the movie at all originally. The movie was made, and when a company decided to buy it for some reason, they added those scenes in. They also re-edited it, and worked some magic to make it better. So, originally, it was actually worse. Good grief.

Kane actually is the best thing about this movie. I usually say that just because I love him, but here it's actually true. The other actors were horrible; the effects were stupid, and the story was jumbled and made no sense most of the time. Usually, I can ignore bad effects. I'm no low budget hater. But I can only ignore that if everything else is done well which, here, it absolutely is not. Altogether, it's just a flat-out horrible movie. That one extra  point I gave it in my rating was for Kane, of course. He's wonderful, as usual. You should see it if you, like me, are a huge Kane fan. Otherwise, just skip it. You'll thank me, I promise.

#326 -- The Last Exorcism (2010)

Director: Daniel Stamm
Rating: 3 / 5

The reason that I even wanted to see this movie is beyond me. I'm not a fan of exorcism-based movies, and I'm definitely not a fan of this found footage craze going on. But, for some reason, this movie intrigued me. It's probably those scenes in the trailers with that girl all bent up out of shape and looking creepy. Who knows. But I took the plunge and checked it out, even though I was still hesitant. I knew that the worst that could happen was that it would be absolutely horrible, and the best, naturally, that I would end up loving it. Neither of those things happened.

It follows Reverend Marcus, a man who has been in the preaching business pretty much his entire life. His father was a preacher, so it's only natural that he'd follow in his footsteps. His dad also reveals that exorcisms run in his family; they've been in the family for generations. Marcus is no different; he'd been doing exorcisms for years. When his son was born with an illness, and they weren't sure he would make it, things changed. His son ended up being perfectly fine, but the whole mess caused him to question his faith and what he was doing. He decided to stop doing exorcisms, because they were all scams and he was no longer into tricking people that way. So, he hired a film crew to follow him on his "last" exorcism, so that he could show them all his tricks and prove that they were, indeed, fake. He would actually rig things very elaborately to make these people believe there was a demon in their presence; and he didn't even believe in demonic possession.

So, he and his camera crew ended up at the farm of the Sweetzer family, where Nell Sweetzer was believed to be possessed by some demon. Marcus performed all his fake exorcism mumbo jumbo and had the family believing that all was well. But Nell still showed signs of some sort of ailment. They took her to the hospital, thinking that she was sick. That wasn't it. The Reverend became convinced that her problems were purely psychological, but her father refused to take her to a psychiatrist; he asked for a second exorcism, and threatened to take care of matters himself if Marcus wouldn't oblige. They also learned that Nell was pregnant, and the issue of incest arose. Marcus and his crew were extremely worried about Nell's well-being, as they'd become convinced that her father was sexually abusing her. Even though Nell had proved that she was dangerous, they refused to leave until they could get her away from her father. Of course, her father wasn't the problem here, and more demonic things were going on. His last exorcism ended up being the only one that was actually real.

Overall, I thought the movie was pretty good. The found footage bit wasn't that annoying, up until the end (people running around in found footage movies never looks good). For the most part, it was done in a way that allowed me to forget about it. I also think the actors were really great; they were very natural, and it felt like it was a real documentary. There were a couple of somewhat spooky moments, but I can hardly call it scary. It's not -- at all. The problem was that it was extremely slow. The characters were easy to care for, yes, but after a while it got boring. By the time the action started, it no longer had my full attention. Therefore, I was left feeling a bit confused. I'm not entirely sure if it's because I wasn't paying attention, or if that was the point all along. But the ending worked in its own way, so I wasn't disappointed by it; just confused. I'll definitely have to be seeing the sequel; hopefully it will answer some of the questions this one left me with.

Spoilers after the jump. Continue at your own risk.

#325 -- House at the End of the Street (2012)

Director: Mark Tonderai
Rating: 3 / 5

By now, everyone knows Jennifer Lawrence from The Hunger Games. I think she's a beautiful girl, and I like how she always seems so natural in her acting. Still, I'm not so sure about her yet. I've become familiar with Max Thieriot from Bates Motel, and he's gorgeous as always; plus, he's a pretty good actor as well. In Bates Motel, he plays Norman's slightly less insane older brother, Dylan. Here, though, things are a bit different.

Synopsis from IMDB: A mother and daughter move to a new town and find themselves living next door to a house where a young girl murdered her parents. When the daughter befriends the surviving son, she learns the story is far from over.

What's sad is that the synopsis tells you the entire movie, pretty much. There are some things thrown in for shock value, but even though you might not be expecting these things, they're far from shocking. Jennifer Lawrence plays Elissa, who apparently has a thing for fixing damaged boys. In comes Ryan, the survivor of an apparent slaughter by his younger sister, Cary Ann. He was supposedly away at an aunt's house while this happened, which is the only reason he's still alive. When his parents died, they left him the house, along with some insurance money. When that aunt died, he moved into the house with plans of fixing it up and selling it. That's what he wants everyone to think, anyways.

When Ryan first shows up, I really couldn't help but love him. He's so darn cute, and he was so sad and sweet. I really loved Elissa as well; the rocker chick who was sweet and quick to make friends. I was really rooting for them as a couple. But, of course, everyone has secrets. Ryan's secret was that he was keeping Cary Ann in the basement. She was supposed to have run off into the woods after killing their parents, but no one really knew what happened to her. Some thought she'd died, and some others thought she had become a wild-woman, living in the woods and keeping to herself. It had become a legend in only four years.  Ryan tells Elissa that Cary Ann had an accident when they were children that caused her to have brain damage, which was why she was so psychotic and always trying to escape. She wasn't all there, and he was only trying to protect everyone by keeping her locked up. The plot thickens, though, as more of Ryan's secrets are revealed.

As far as technical things go, it was pretty good. There was very little blood, so there wasn't really a need for special effects. The movie looked good, especially with all those attractive young faces, and the actors were all good. The problem was that there wasn't all that much to it. There were a couple of jump-scares, but they weren't chilling or creepy -- just surprising. Things sneaking up on you but not actually scaring you. There was practically no suspense whatsoever, even in the "build up," and the big reveal at the end was not original at all. I'll tell you this: It's Psycho meets Sleepaway Camp. There, I've ruined the ending for you.

Spoilers after the jump. Continue at your own risk.

#324 -- Wolf (1994)

Director: Mike Nichols
Rating: 2.5 / 5

Let me tell you, the idea of Jack Nicholson as a werewolf if fucking amazing. I've always found him to be one creepy motherfucker, and to turn him into this supernatural beast with a hunger for people meat? Please! I was pretty sure that Wolf would be wonderful, but...well, I was wrong.

I do think that 'ol Jack is a terrific actor, and it's definitely not his fault that this movie didn't work for me. He played a guy named Will Randall who, after getting into a car accident, was bitten by a wolf. Afterward, he returned to his job at a publishing company, where he was being put out of a job by his younger co-worker (who happened to be sleeping with his wife...and this guy was supposed to be his friend). He left his wife and started sleeping with Michelle Pfeiffer who, seriously, should have played his daughter instead. That whole relationship made me uncomfortable for some reason. He was working on a way to get revenge on that asshole I mentioned earlier, and hopefully get his job back in the process. Oh, and sometimes he'd wake up thinking that he might have killed someone in the middle of the night.

Really, this is more of a drama movie that focuses on Will's relationships and the betrayals that he has to face. All that's okay, I guess, but I really didn't give a shit. The werewolf seemed like more of an afterthought, rather than the main focus of the movie. As a drama, it would have been better had Will fallen deeply in love with Pfeiffer's character. He said he loved her, sure, but I wasn't really able to feel that. All I felt was that he was extremely angry about his friend betraying him, and that maybe that was why he couldn't control his transformations as well as he should have. As a horror movie....there are several ways that it could have been better. The pacing was extremely slow, and the whole thing was just boring. They spent more time in the bedroom than anything, and even that wasn't any good. It wasn't steamy or sexy at all, because the entire time I was thinking that he was way too old for her. If she'd called him Daddy, I would've lost it. Also, Jack Nicholson as a werewolf wasn't as awesome as I'd thought it would be. He just looked weird. Maybe it was their special effects; I'm not sure. But I think he's creepier the way he is, without putting on those contacts and fangs and dumping all that extra hair on him.

There was a fight scene at the end of the movie, so there is some action; but it takes far too long for it to show up, and when it does, it's not that great. It's lame. So, I'm sorry Jack, I love you. But as for Wolf...I didn't hate it, but I definitely didn't like it. I grew up in the '90s, and I still love all those goodies. It was a great decade for cartoons, that's for sure. But I'm starting to think that the '90s wasn't the decade for horror...at all.

#323 -- The Darkest Hour (2011)

Director: Chris Gorak
Rating: 3 / 5

When I first heard about this movie, I was really interested in seeing it. Not because it looked like the coolest thing ever, but because I didn't know what the fuck it was about and I was intrigued. That was a smart move on their part, I guess, because it definitely roped me in. Then again, I waited for DVD instead of seeing it in theaters, so maybe not.

Plot: A group of youngsters witness some strange beings consuming everyone around them. They hide for a while, to be sure that they're safe, until they finally decide that they should venture outside. They wander through the city for a while until they meet up with an old man and a young girl. The man and girl have found a pretty decent way of keeping themselves safe, so the group sticks with them for a little while. They eventually learn of a possible safe haven, and they all venture outside once again to find it. Sound familiar? Once I really caught on, I couldn't help but feel that this was just 28 Days Later with a science fiction twist. I mean, the basics of it are pretty much spot on. There are some differences, of course, but it really felt like the same movie to me. Well, not the same, because...you know, 28 Days Later is a lot better.

The aliens, robots, or whatever those fucking things were...they sure didn't look like zombies. But if you think about it, they pretty much were. They weren't chowing down on these folks' heads, but they were, in a sense, eating them. The kids figured out that they were drawn to the electromagnetic energy inside their bodies, or something. Whenever the things got near, everything electrical would start going off; so I guess they were batteries. That's what I'll call them. The movie actually started off with a group, rather than one person who eventually met up with a group, and it took place in Moscow, rather than Britain. But other than that, it's essentially the same. I'm not sure if the film-makers were even aware of what they were doing, or if I'm the only one who sees it this way.

The movie was definitely interesting, but there are a few problems that I faced while watching it. Once I got it into my head that these things were zombies, I just couldn't feel anything for them. I love zombies, but not like this. I'm all for sculpting the undead into your own image, but this was a little much. I think if you go into it understanding that these things are Batteries, and not zombies, you might feel a little differently. Of course, you might feel exactly like I do. The second problem I had was that it was kind of hard to understand. I couldn't help thinking that I was too stupid to be watching this movie, because all that science talk made my head hurt. Sure, I got the majority of what was going on. I understand they were feeding on the energy in their bodies, and they were on their way to a much larger food source (energies below the city). But I didn't understand everything 100%, and that bugged me. I like to make myself believe I'm smarter than I actually am, and when that fake intelligence is questioned, I get a little testy. So maybe that's just a personal problem.

Besides all that junk, though, it's actually not bad. The idea of these unnamed creatures coming from some unknown place and devouring practically everything in sight...well, that's pretty scary. The fact that they were practically 100% invisible makes it even worse. There were enough nice friendships and budding relationships going on to keep the characters from being completely dull, but there was nothing that really blew me away. Overall, it was okay.

#322 -- Evil Dead (2013)

Director: Fede Alvarez
Rating: 4 / 5

I was beyond pissed when I realized that this movie was being remade. That anger was increased tenfold when I realized that there would be no Ash character; it just seemed completely pointless and made no sense whatsoever to leave out the character that made these movies. But I guess Bruce Campbell is just too old these days (though Ash returning to the cabin as an old dude sounds interesting to me...), and they didn't want to bring in a new actor for the character. Which I'm actually glad for, because I'd hate to see someone fuck that character up (which they most certainly would, because they're not Bruce Campbell). Anyways, the more I heard about it, and the more I saw the trailers, I started to think that it might actually be good. I read a lot of reviews stating that it was nothing but a gore-fest; some liked that, some didn't. I disagree with that statement, though. There's a lot of gore here, don't be mistaken, but that's not all the movie has going for it.

No, there's no Ash character. It follows a girl named Mia, a drug addict trying to sober up. She's there with her brother and a couple of their friends. I thought that aspect of it was very interesting, since they just thought she was going through withdrawal when she was possessed. The only person who knew what was really happening was the one who found the book and unleashed the demons (the other characters didn't even see the book until he told them that Mia was possessed).

I will say that this is one of the best remakes I've seen, and that's saying a lot because it's a remake of one of my favorite movies ever. I first saw the original when I was around ten years old, so it's been with me for pretty much my whole life. I've always had a soft spot for it, and I always will. But I think this one did exactly what a remake is supposed to do. It appealed to a new, younger audience, while still being able to please fans of the original. It introduced new characters, new situations, and new plots. It switched the story up, like it's supposed to. But it also stayed true to the original. Though everything was almost completely different, I still found parts of the original in there. They even used the first-person camera views when the deadites were coming. There was a boomstick (though, of course, none of these kids would dare call it that), and there was a chainsaw-hand. It didn't copy the original scene for scene (which I think is obvious from the trailers), and I'm glad for that, because...that would have just sucked. But they did honor it and respect it while still bringing new things to the table.

Some people seem to think that this has too much of a budget going for it; that the original worked so well because they had so little to work with. I disagree. I love the low budget charm that the original had, don't get me wrong. But I don't think that's what made the movie. What made the original Evil Dead was Bruce Campbell, plain and simple. That entire series would have been nothing without him. And I honestly believe that, if Sam Raimi did have a large budget back then, this is the movie that he would have made. He and Campbell were both there for it; they produced the damned thing. There's  no way they would have let them fuck it up. I did find a few problems with the movie, but they weren't really that big a deal.

Mia (who, I guess, is the "Ash" character) had the funny lines here. She's no Bruce, but she delivered one or two great one-liners. Like "Kiss me, you dirty cunt" and "Your sister's being raped in Hell!" But that was where the humor ended, which was cool with me. I think it would have been weird if she'd started shouting "Groovy!" all over the place. Okay, let's talk about the gore. There were some pretty gnarly scenes here. Limbs were being cut (or torn) off, faces being removed, and all sorts of other lovely delights. Most of those looked fucking wicked. There were also a couple of cringe worthy moments, like machetes through knee-caps (oh my fucking jesus, I can't handle that shit), and fingers being broken by crow bars. And the gore is pretty much constant. If you're a gore whore like me, you'll love it. The action starts right away and it doesn't stop until the credits roll, which was great. Speaking of credits, if you see this in the theater (which you should; there's no excuse for seeing it otherwise), you should stick around after the credits for something pretty cool. If you're an old school fan like myself, you'll really enjoy it.

So, was it as good as the original? Hell no. Was it the most terrifying film I've ever experience, as the poster suggests? Not even. But it's entertaining, exciting, and I was pleased by it. If you look at is as a remake, you'll definitely find problems, but they're not big ones. You have to compare it, it's only natural. But if you can take a minute and try to view this as its own movie entirely, you'll find that it's actually pretty great. If the original didn't exist, and this was something entirely new, I'd say it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. But since it is a remake of one of the greatest films ever made, I can hardly say that, now can I? I'm rambling, but the point is...either way you look at it, it's definitely a good movie.