#284 -- Mum and Dad (2008)

Director: Steven Sheil
Rating: 3 / 5

Before I tell you anything of real importance about this movie, let's talk about that poster. I think it alone tells you just about everything you need to know. Those two people pictured are, of course, Mum and Dad. See how they look like the average every day couple. Mum's standing behind Dad, where he probably believes she belongs. Dad looks kind of sullen and angry, like everyone says every husband feels. It's safe to say that they appear to be a very normal married couple. But in the background there, you can see a severed head on a shelf, so I guess they're actually not quite normal. The tagline is "They're dying to have you over," which I think is kind of incorrect. They're not dying at all, but you will if you don't follow their rules. To me, at the very core of their relationship, Mum and Dad seem like the stereotypical 1950s couple. Dad's the bread winner, and Mum is the one who keeps the house in order. He wants to make sure she's happy, and she's there to calm him down whenever he gets a little bit too angry. They seem like they're in love, and I'm sure it would have been impossible for either of them to find someone else to satiate their needs, so they're actually quite a perfect couple. Aside from the craziness, of course.

The story centers on Lena, a young Polish girl working as a cleaner at an airport in London. She's new, and she makes it clear that she doesn't really have anyone that she can count on. She says that she and her parents don't get along, and she is distant from her siblings. I'm not even sure that her family lives nearby, so it's safe to say that no one would miss her if she disappeared. She's a sweet and smart girl, and she's pretty, so of course everyone should want her. She meets two other employees at the airport, Birdie and her brother Elbie. Birdie seems cheery and nice, even though she's quick to steal things she finds lying around. Elbie doesn't speak at all, but he never seems weird. He's just a shy guy (maybe...), and it's obvious to me that he has a good heart. After a night of working together, Birdie invites Lena over for drinks, but Lena declines stating that she has some things she has to do and that she'll try to go the next day. Birdie obviously isn't happy about this. Not long after that, a few things happen that cause Lena to miss her bus home. It isn't anything major; Birdie says that she forgot her phone and asks Lena to go back inside and help her look for it. I had the feeling, though, that Birdie had her phone all along, and that she only wanted to make Lena miss the bus. So when the bus does, indeed, leave without her, Birdie invites Lena to come stay with them for the night, so she'll at least have somewhere to sleep. Left with no other options, she accepts. Once she arrives at their home, it becomes clear pretty quickly that something isn't right. Birdie and Elbie disappear immediately, leaving Lena all alone in the kitchen. She's conked on the  head, knocked out, given a drug that leaves her unable to speak, and tied up in a dirty room.

Mum and Dad only have one child of their own, an apparently mentally retarded girl they keep tied up in an upstairs bedroom. The rest of their "children" are people they abducted. Birdie and Elbie are among those, but they were able to become "a part of the family." Dad often tells Lena that if she follows the rules, she will be okay, so we can assume that's what Birdie and Elbie did: they went through unspeakable amounts of torture and never misbehaved. And now, they help Mum and Dad capture new children, and they're free to come and go as they please. Lena is tied up and has designs cut into her skin. Once, she is locked into a suitcase and beaten with a wooden mallet. But these are not the acts of both parents' lust for blood. Mum is the one who enjoys torture, and she simply calls it "playing with her children." Dad doesn't even like them, it seems, and he only tolerates them for Mum's sake. But when they misbehave, he is there to deal out the punishment. Dad's the disciplinary figure, while Mum is the caring maternal figure who takes care of the family.

For the most part, they're a normal family. The have family dinners around the table, all the children have their own set of chores to do, and they even celebrate Christmas (with gifts like knives and naughty magazines). But instead of the traditional Christmas decorations, they've got bodies nailed to the walls. And instead of traditional family television, they watch porn while they're having their family meals. Oh, and sex is not kept a secret from the children, as they are invited to watch as Dad fucks a chunk of raw meat that most certainly belonged to a former "child."

Lena learns very quickly that she'll have to suck it up and take whatever they throw at her if she wants to survive; because if she misbehaves too much, she'll end up like the other chopped-up body parts that Elbie is seen incinerating in the back yard. She does an okay job of it at first, but there's only so much torture a person can take, and she soon starts fighting back. It becomes clear that if she doesn't escape soon, she'll be dead meat.

Mum and Dad definitely isn't a movie for everyone. Some would call it disgusting and disturbing, which it is. But as a horror fan, it's definitely not the worst case of abuse/torture that I've seen. I think the real torture is having to be stuck in that house with them, rather than the actual things that are being done to Lena; it is the knowledge that she'll either have to escape or die, and dying certainly seemed easier. There was one scene that I found particularly disturbing, but other than that, it's really not all that bad. It is fairly easy to enjoy, with characters that are easy to relate to, hate, and root for. It will keep you engaged through most of it, and it'll keep you wondering what they'll do next. I really enjoyed it up until the end, which I found was too abrupt and not very difficult. It spent the entire movie establishing the difficulty of escape, but then turned around and made the escape easy. There wasn't enough struggle or consequence; there wasn't enough fighting back or injury for me to really believe that Lena had a tough go of it. It left me wondering why she wasn't able to do it sooner. But other than the quick ending, I'd say it's definitely a movie that's worth seeing. It's not boring, it doesn't feel rushed or forced, and most importantly...the story isn't completely stupid.

#281 -- Asylum Blackout (2011)

Director: Alexandre Courtes
Rating: 2.5 / 5

Ugh. That is all I can say. I hate when movies have potential, succeed in ways, and then completely destroy themselves by the end. The idea of Asylum Blackout is an interesting one. It's pretty much the same as Medium Raw, a movie I reviewed not too long ago.

It's about a group of musicians working as cooks in an asylum for the criminally insane. One night, all the lights went out and the inmates escaped from their rooms and started a riot. It's a pretty simple story that could be downright terrifying if it was done properly. Sadly, it wasn't done properly here. The main issue I have with the movie is that it's confusing. At the end, I was left with more questions than answers, which is always disappointing. If I'm to be completely honest, though, I was left with all questions and no answers. The ending made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and the viewer is left with only theories to explain away what happened.

There were a couple of occurrences that hinted at what would happen in the end, but none of them panned out. First, there was George, the main character. At the first of the movie, as he was cutting some meat, he badly cut his finger and bled all over the raw steak. I thought, "Oh, something's going to happen with his blood in that meat." Later on, George had to go to work early in order to receive a shipment of meat, and the meat was kind of weird. They were shocked and confused when they realized that the chickens still had their heads attached, and the delivery man just said, "Oh, that's how they do it now." Also, I noticed that the boxes the meat was held in was dripping. It might have been blood, though I'm not sure. It was just something else to leave me confused.

There was on particular prisoner, Harry, that seemed sort of weird in the way that he was oddly drawn to George. At one point, George saw him convince another inmate to spit out his medication, and it can be assumed that he did this with several other (or all...) inmates. Throughout the movie, George was absolutely certain that Harry was the one behind all the riots and everything, and I was pretty quick to go along with him. There were scenes with Harry overseeing acts of torture and murder, and scenes where he was personally torturing George. But then there was a scene that implied George had been dead the entire time.

And then there's the ending...There's practically nothing to it, or at least it seemed that way to me. It was jumbled, weird, and made no sense. Maybe the director had some sort of artistic vision that just didn't transfer to the screen. I'm not sure what it was supposed to mean, and it seems like no one else is either. There's a thread on IMDB dedicated to discussing the confusing ending, which is where I got the few theories that I have. Before reading that, I was absolutely stumped. I had no clue. It seems to me that they were going for a sort of Shutter Island type of deal. That maybe George had been crazy all along, and was simply imagining everything. Maybe he was Harry, and he simply created this alter ego in order to take the blame off himself. But again, I honestly have no clue. I will admit that I was also confused by Shutter Island (both the book and the movie), but those were confusing in an intriguing and amazing sort of way. Not a "what a waste of time" sort of way. Shutter Island will make you think. Asylum Blackout will leave you feeling nothing.

I applaud the director for attempting to create an artistic movie that's different and unique. But it failed to relay its message to the viewer. It left me feeling confused and angry for wasting my time with it. But I watched in on my VOD, so I really didn't expect it to be anything but mediocre.

Plus side for the ladies: you'll get to see the hot guy naked.

#280 -- The People Under the Stairs (1991)

Director: Wes Craven
Rating: 4 / 5

I caught this movie on television years ago, but I only caught the tail end of it. I could tell instantly that it was something I definitely wanted to see. I caught it on TV again some time later, a bit earlier but still not at the beginning. Then, I got the jist of what was going on, but not completely. This time around is the first time I've actually watched the entire movie. So now I know the whole story, and I can tell you...I dig it. It seems like it's one of those movies that can go any way. Some people love it, some people don't, and some just don't care. I'm sort of in the middle. I really liked it, but I didn't quite love it. Still, it's a good movie.

It's about a young boy named Fool (I think his name was actually Poindexter; I think I'd prefer Fool too). He'd just turned thirteen, and he'd been through more than probably all of us have in our lives. He was poor, living in the ghetto with a cancer-ridden mother, a sister with some babies, and no money to pay for anything. On top of all that, their landlords were trying to evict them so that they could tear the building down and build something bigger and better. In order to get some money, a man offered Fool a job: to rob their landlords, who supposedly had a house full of gold. So along with two men, Fool set out to do just that. But little did they all know, their landlords were fucking crazy.

One of the men was killed pretty much as soon as he walked in the door. The other took some time, but it didn't take long for Fool to realize that he wasn't messing around with your average every day rich folks. They had a daughter who was terrified of them and suffered horrible abuse, and there was a guy living in the walls. The daughter, Alice, called him Roach (haha!) and he was a pretty cool dude, though he looked like he could be Steve Buscemi's son. There were some other people living in the cellar who kind of looked like zombies (probably because they were fed body parts of people that were killed). Roach had escaped into the walls, and remained there in hiding. Anyways, Fool became trapped in the house once his older accomplices were killed, and Roach and Alice helped him stay safe. He eventually escaped with a couple of gold coins and took them back home to help with his mother's operations and such. He then returned to the house to save Alice, because...well, someone had to do it.

It turned out that "Mommy" and "Daddy" were actually siblings, and Alice wasn't their daughter at all. They abducted children, trying to find the perfect child. Everyone knows, though, that there's no such thing. Once they found something wrong with one of them, they'd cut it out (Roach had his tongue cut out for trying to call for help) and throw them in the basement. Those were the people under the stairs. Daddy was really crazy, and he wore some kind of dominatrix costume while he was shooting at people in the walls. It was easy to tell, though, that Mommy was actually the brains and master of the operation. That was one evil bitch.

I think all the components of the movie were really well done. The actors were good, the story was well written and interesting, and it definitely succeeds in holding the viewer's attention. It goes at a steady pace that's neither rushed nor slow, and the effects (though there wasn't all that much gore) were good. Word around the internet is that there's a remake in the works, though I don't really see the point. It's a good movie, but it's hardly great enough to be considered a classic. It doesn't really have a cult following, and it's not old enough to need a revisit. It's just more evidence that people are completely unable to come up with their own ideas, and simply feed off the ideas of great minds like Wes Craven.

You should give The People Under the Stairs a go, though. It's an entertaining movie with an interesting and original story.