#43 -- The Gore Gore Girls (1972)

Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis

Rating: 3 / 5

If you're looking for a nasty film with dark humor, then look no further! A private detective and a cute, and apparently very horny, reporter are investigating a series of murders. Strippers all around are being brutally murdered one by one. The PI is a bit of an asshole, but the reporter wants his ass anyway. She constantly makes advances at him, and he constantly pushes her away. The investigator, Abe, is indeed an asshole - but he's no doubt a funny asshole. I'm not sure if he was actually trying to be funny, though. He reminds me of Willy Wonka; I'm not sure why, because he looks nothing like him. It might be the cane he carries around all the time.

Notable murders: A girl gets her ass beaten by a meat tenderizer; a girl is killed while blowing a bubble, and the bubble fills up with blood; a girl's nipples are cut off, and milk spurts from them.

Yes, it is brutal; it is violent. There is no doubt about that. But is it a good movie? Well, I'll have to let you figure that one out for yourself, because I honestly can't decide. The gore whore in me was quite pleased with this one. It was funny as well, as I'm sure it was meant to be. The murders end up being fueled by envy. Everyone's jealous of strippers. Right? At the end, the creators of the film bid us adieu with an obviously self-mocking goodbye. 

Phew. It was an interesting ride, and I'm sure some would stand screaming "Hallelujah, it's over!" Me? Well, as my three stars reveal - meh. It was okay. Nothing completely wonderful, but nothing too awful either. The gore, while nowhere close to being expertly done, was good and still quite disturbing. There are faces and asses being bashed in, eyeballs being gouged out, throats being slit, and...booby milk being poured into little glasses. I believe this movie is something only the 1970s could provide us with. So thank them if you want, or curse them if you must. But whatever you do - don't go into this expecting to see large quantities of hot, naked women. While it is a movie about strippers, there is surprisingly little of that. Many of the girls remain in pasties and all of them (excluding the one afro'd black woman) are too white to dance. And, I'll be completely honest here, they're not all that attractive. So don't see this just for the T & A, because you'll be sadly disappointed. Instead, see it for the humor and the head-bashing. 

#42 -- Detention (2010)

Director: James D.R. Hickox

Rating: 2 / 5

Really I would like to give this one 2.5 stars, because I almost liked it. The problem with this movie was that it was confusing. It may be just me, or maybe I wasn't paying it as much attention as I should have - but I was confused throughout a majority of it. I got the gist of it, but some parts, for me, needed further explanation that was not given.

Sometime in the 1970s, a high school prank went terribly wrong and a boy ended up dying. He was locked into a furnace in some underground tunnels of the school, and when lightning hit the school, it somehow caused the flames to erupt and the boy was burned to death.

Seeing that this movie was released in 2010, the rest of the movie must have been around forty years later. A group of kids are sent to detention. When their teachers leaves, locking them in before he goes, to meet with the pretty new history teacher, things start to get weird. They start seeing ghosts. I probably don't have to tell you that it is the ghost of the young boy who died. He takes the form of a floating black cloud, and...really is not scary at all. I think the scariest part of the movie is the white boy who thinks he's a Jamaican ninja. 

The teacher is killed in the men's room, and the kids are left to find their own way out of the classroom. They do this via the underground tunnels. It appears that the ghost of the dead boy can also possess people, and it seems that he has possessed the history teacher, as well as one of the kids (a boy we like to call Nerdboy). So, there's that for the kids to worry about too. Nerdboy seems to embrace his new life as a possessed agent of the vengeful spirit. He goes bonkers. After killing one of the kids, he tries to kill two more. And he tells them that he likes killing people because it's fun. 

Turns out, the ghost isn't so vengeful, though. Ms. History teacher is actually his mother. This would be one of the confusing things. The kids in question are children of the people who killed Ghostboy back in the '70s. So this woman would have had a child in high school during that time. And now, forty years later...She should be dead by now, right? No, she looks like she is about thirty-five. So apparently she had a child before even she was born. Of course, she might be back from the grave to avenge her son. This is hinted at (I think) when the kids push her face into the fiery furnace. It burns, then instantly heals. That is the only evidence I have that she was not entirely human. But when another lightning bolt hits the school, she is set ablaze and killed. So I'm really not sure. And another question arises: why wait so long to avenge your son? We know her intentions were to punish the parents the way they'd punished her - by taking their children away from them. But did she want to wait until they were the same age? I mean, it probably would have been just as effective when they were children. Just sayin'. 

This really wasn't all that bad. The acting was decent (and included David Carradine as the principal), the effects were okay, and the story...Well, it's not something we haven't seen a billion times already. I didn't like it mainly because I didn't know what the fuck was going on half the time. But again, maybe it was just me. I'd say, once again, my favorite part was the white boy/Jamaican/ninja guy, who we know had to have been trippin' some major balls. Not like, GIANT balls, but...You get it. Ahem...

#41 -- The Initiation of Sarah (1978)

Director: Robert Day

Rating: 3 / 5

Sarah (an outsider with telekinetic powers) and her sister, Patty, are starting college. They've both been searching for sororities. But when the popular sorority (ANS) chooses Patty and excludes Sarah, the sisters start to drift apart. Sarah joins a less popular sorority (PED) that has had an ongoing feud with ANS, and things start to get even worse. During Hell Week, the sisters of ANS torment the girls of PED, and they force Patty to join in on the fun. 

When a prank sends Sarah over the edge, her house mother, Ms. Hunter, convinces Sarah that she must get revenge, and she helps her harness and control her unique power. But Ms. Hunter isn't just a concerned "mother." She seems to be some sort of witch, or involved in a Satanic cult. During their initiation, Ms. Hunter gets Sarah to telekinetically "destroy" the sisters of ANS. She, somehow, causes Jennifer (the head bitch over at ANS) to age instantly. Ms. Hunter then tries to convince Sarah to commit murder - to kill one of her new friends. But Sarah will have none of it. SPOILER. She sets the maze (where they are conducting the initiation) on fire, and kills Ms. Hunter as well as herself.

This made-for-TV movie is entertaining in its own way. It is a bit reminiscent of Stephen King's Carrie (1976). The basics of it are the same, while it gives us its own unique story and characters. It makes us feel for the characters, though sadly lacks in the action/suspense department. I particularly liked Roseanne Conner's grandmother as the satanic house mother. It wasn't very exciting but, as I said, entertaining to an extent. This one also stars Morgan Fairchild as Jennifer, the snooty bitch at ANS. Though a beautiful girl, we feel nothing but anger toward her for her meanness and trickery. Initiation is an all right movie, though I wouldn't call it wonderful. It was fun for a one-time view.

#40 -- The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror (2007)

Director: Jaymes Thompson

Rating: 4 / 5

Yes, you read that right. And yes the tagline reads "Some things should stay in the closet." In my last review, I questioned whether or not there were any more good b-movies left. And lookie what we have here. I found one! During the opening credits, when the theme song "Watch Out for the Straights" played, I just knew this movie was going to be awesome. Now, it's definitely an acquired taste, and you must have an open mind while watching this. If you don't like gay people, naturally you should stay away. 

Five gay couples and a (excuse me for my lack of political correctness) fag hag end up staying at a bed and breakfast. They've failed to book hotel rooms, so this is their last resort. This is a gay-friendly place (it even has a rainbow flag hanging above the door). But shortly after arriving, they realize that this "quaint" little place really ain't so quaint. I think when the owner offered me some mincemeat muffins (just...gross), I would have left right then. 

Among all the gay folk, we have a porn star called Mr. Leather and a drag queen who calls him/herself Carrie Duway (haha, get it?). What they don't realize (though it was kind of hard to miss with the mincemeat muffins, complete with earrings, and all) is that the owner of the little B & B is a crazy bitch. The place is actually not gay-friendly at all. In fact, Helen (the owner) HATES gay people. It's against god's law! Scattered around the inn, you can see bibles with "Gays must DIE!" written inside, as well as a shrine to George W. Bush. It just so happens that Helen's daughter, Luelle, likes pretty girls. She's not supposed to like them, but she does; she just can't help herself. And Mama doesn't like it when Luelle has girlfriends. So when Luelle starts looking at the girls the wrong way, Mama kills them. Her plan is to convert one of the men into heterosexuality in order to marry her daughter, to create a union to offer to god as payment for her evil lesbian ways. 

But Luelle's brother has different plans. Manfred is a very strange half man/half...fish? I'm not sure, but it was FUCKED up. Anyways, Luelle took care of Manfred for a good while, and he doesn't want her to go away. So he kills all the men, because he doesn't want her to have a boyfriend. So, to recap: Mama won't let her have girlfriends, and brother won't let her have boyfriends. What's a girl got to do to get some love? Oh, and Manfred happens to be the bastard child of 100 crazy republicans, and was conceived in a bathroom orgy

. 

Really, the title was all I needed to know that I HAD to see this movie. I didn't really expect much, with my recent experiences having not been so good, but I was so surprised. This movie was absolutely hilarious. One particular scene that had me rolling on the floor was after one of the men cheated on his boyfriend. Boyfriend decides to beat the shit out of the lover. But when Lover rips Boyfriends sweater, Boyfriend starts crying. "You ripped my sweater!" And after a while, he keeps crying: "You fucked my boyfriend! Why didn't you want me?" And commences to making with the boom boom. 

In the end, though, all is well. Two of the homos end up repenting, and they realize that the crazy folks were right - they had to accept god. They go a little bit batshit crazy,and I believe it was the perfect ending to a surprisingly hilarious movie. 

#39 -- The Beast Within (1982)

Director: Philippe Mora

Rating: 2 / 5

I find myself wondering if I've already seen all the good b-movies there are to see. I've seen a lot, and a lot of them I like. But lately I've been stumbling upon the not-so-good ones. So I ask: where have all the good b-movies gone? This wasn't too horrible; it just wasn't what I expected. What I expected was a horror comedy, but what I got was something different. Usually you can tell when a movie is purposely stupid, but I think this one genuinely tried to be scary. But with the story they came up with, that was just not in the cards. 

A married couple gets into a car accident and ends up in the woods. The man goes for help and leaves his wife and dog at the car. The dog starts barking like crazy, so the lady lets him out of the car and ends up following him deeper into the woods. The dog is killed - smashed against a tree - and the woman is raped by a big hairy creature. 

Seventeen years later, the couples' son is having medical problems. He suffers from an out-of-whack pituitary gland, rapid growth, and constant visions of a strange house. He is afraid he is going to die, and the doctors don't know what is wrong. They believed, at first, that the problem was genetic. But upon testing both of his parents and realizing that they are fine, they don't know what else to do. But Mama knows. She knows that her husband is not the biological father, but rather the man beast that raped her seventeen years ago. So they go on a quest to find that man to get medical records and such, hoping to save their son's life. They travel back to the place of the incident, and start digging around. It is apparent that people in the town do not want them to know anything. The judge refuses information, and the newspaper man is evasive. The only help they get is from the sheriff, who tells them that, around the time of the incident, a man was killed - partially eaten and his house set on fire. 

Meanwhile, Michael (man-beast-child) has escaped from the hospital and is roaming around the town his parents have traveled to. He kills newspaper man and returns to the hospital. It is very obvious that his health has drastically improved. He escapes the hospital and then is captured so many times I lost count. It actually starts to get annoying after a while. 

Anyways, there isn't much to this movie. It's a little bit boring. Much of the time we spend watching is waiting for Michael to transform into a werewolf - because we know that's what it is. Well, I think it was supposed to be a werewolf anyway. But he's going around town killing members of a certain family. He develops a crush on a girl from that family and warns her to leave town. On her way, though, she crashes her car and ends up not leaving at all. We eventually learn the story. A woman cheated on her husband with Michael's father. When Husband found out about this, he killed his wife. He then locked Michael's father in the cellar. He knew Daddy was a werewolf, and being an undertaker, it wasn't difficult to acquire food for him. But he eventually died down in that cellar. And now, it seems, his spirit has returned to possess his son. 

And that's the gist of it. There's really not much more to it. The best part was when Michael FINALLY transformed. It was incredibly AWFUL. CGI does terrible things to people - like make them look like retarded aliens of the asian persuasion. 

I can't make any excuses for this one. Some people might say, "Well, what do you expect from the '80s?" But I happen to love '80s horror movies, and I have seen FAR better. Like I said before, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen. But I won't be watching it again, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone other than people like me. If you want to see every horror movie ever made, then of course check it out. Otherwise, you're not missing much.

Zombies

Some horror fans, like myself, have an affinity for zombies. But why? Is it because we're crazy and simply MUST see copious amounts of blood and gore in order to be entertained? Are we secretly cannibals? Or, psychologists might agree, are we desperately searching for proof that death is not the end? We may never know the reason, but one thing is for sure - zombies are fucking awesome. They allow for something beautiful: the ability to love something so completely taboo. And it's all right, because they're not cannibals. We're not sickos who get off by seeing humans being eaten by other humans. We're just sickos who get off by seeing humans being eaten by MONSTERS. Zombies take an awful taboo like cannibalism and make it okay to love. But where do zombies come from? Somewhere in the world, did someone actually rise from the dead and eat his or her family? Is it just justification, or an explanation, of cannibalism? Well, no. Actually, they come from Haiti.
Back in Haiti, if you pissed off your family, they could call a voodoo priest to take care of you. The priest would give you some kind of powder, making you appear dead. You'd be treated like a corpse - buried and forgotten. But later on, the priest would dig you up. You'd still be completely human, but your senses and memory would be erased - thus, making you a "zombie." Of course, this doesn't mean a zombie as we see them today. You would basically be in a comatose state, while still awake and mobile. So it is quite obvious how the modern zombie came about. But why do the zombies we know and love eat people?
There are many arguments on this subject, but sadly we may never know. I've asked my pet zombie, but all he had to say on the topic was "Brarrrgggh." So, unfortunately, we have only theories to go on. I have a few myself.
1. Zombies have lost something very important - their lives. They're empty. They can sense life in others, and they crave it. They are desperate for the life they once had, and they will do anything to get it. And upon ingesting the life of humans, they are revitalized.2. To put it simply: they're hungry. And they're not smart enough to figure out how to work a microwave, so they revert back to the caveman ways - with an obvious twist, of course. You know what they say (I can't tell you who they are; I've been sworn to secrecy) : if you get hungry enough, you'll eat anything.3. As depicted in Return of the Living Dead, they eat us to relieve pain. After they have been dead for a period of time, rigor mortis sets in, which explains why they move in such a slow, stiff, and shuffling manner. With the rigor mortis comes the pain. It hurts them severely. And eating people (or brains as the zombie in question states) alleviates some of that pain. [this theory is actually contradicted in Return of the Living Dead 3, where the zombie finds that pain decreases the hunger she feels for human flesh.]4. It's instinct. Cats know to use the litter box; zombies know to eat people.
We may never know what goes on in their heads, if anything. If anyone has a zombie who's not a complete asshole, or has access to one that can be used for research, I would love to know. I'm very interested in these creatures, and would love any knowledge anyone might come by. Until then, I will have to be satisfied with my own theories, and continue to be intrigued by these elusive creatures.

#38 -- DIEner (2010)

Director: Patrick Horvath

Rating: 3 / 5

What can you expect with a title like that? Honestly, not much. But this movie quite surprised me. I was expecting zero budget, and crap all around. But what I got was, while still low-budget, quite an entertaining experience. 

It was at this point that I knew this movie was going to rock my socks off. Was I right? Not exactly, but I was still entertained. First we have a waitress, Rose, telling her life story to a complete stranger. They agree that there's no one left in the world that can be trusted, and he proves his point by killing her and the diner's sole chef. A troubled married couple enters, and he plans to kill them as well. But, thankfully, a cop named Duke enters and saves the day - for a moment, at least. Ken, the killer, pretends to be a waiter for a while, but when Fred (chef) and Rose emerge from the freezer they've been stored in, as flesh-eating zombies, his secret comes out. Duke is bitten by one of the flesh-eaters, but he lasts quite a long time - enough time to tell us that discovering his wife was pregnant made him want to blow his brains out. 

When Fred is discovered, Ken decides it will be a good idea to duct tape him to the floor. Ha! Of course, being a serial killer and all, he's got a bag full of duct tape and rope. He sticks Fred with nails, hoping to kill him for good. But these zombies are strong as hell (even though they don't appear to be half as strong as normal zombies). He ties Rose up to a coat rack. Now, if this isn't the stupidest approach to detaining zombies, then I don't know what is. It's humorous in its stupidity, though.

Rob and Kathi (the married couple) keep knocking Ken in the head, trying to keep him from killing them. Yes, in a diner full of zombies, they're afraid of Ken. And rightfully so, because the zombies are actually quite inadequate. 

Ken eventually gets tired of getting smashed in the head, so he ties Rob and Kathi to a couple stools. He cuts off Rob's pinkie finger as collateral, and tells him that he'll get it back when he decides to cooperate. It's stored in a cup full of ice. Each time Ken is knocked out, we see flashbacks of him as a child, apparently playing hide-and-seek with an older woman - possibly his mother or a babysitter. I'm not sure what this was supposed to reveal, because it was just Ken walking around a house looking confused. And therefore, I was confused. 

As I've said, the zombies were inadequate. And the focus did not lie on them completely - it was more on the relationship between killer and victims. And Ken was hilarious. He was extremely smart, which I can assume is why he was so batshit. As zombies come in through the back door and attack Ken, he realizes that he actually killed most of them. As they're tearing away at his flesh, he is screaming "I regret nothing! Nothing!" Ha!

Rob is killed while trying to crank up a semi-truck, and the  movie ends with us assuming that Kathi has also been eaten. Yep. Here we have a zombie movie where the zombies win. It's a risky move, and not all that bad. But that is partly my reason for giving this one three stars instead of four. I wanted to see a big explosive KILL-THE-ZOMBIES ending. That's what we like, to see just how they're going to defeat them this time. But this time, they just couldn't get it done.

I did not like this movie because of the zombies, because, quite honestly, they sucked. I like this movie solely because of Ken, the hilarious serial killer. I actually found myself rooting for him, and I was quite heartbroken when he was killed. This movie was not incredible in any sense, but it - mainly Ken - was entertaining. So, just watch it for him. 

Have I mentioned that I loved Ken?

Anyways, this rated well for me because I was pleasantly surprised by it. I expected something completely shitty, and what I got was something quite good. I didn't love it, but it was worth my time. 

#37 -- Zombies Zombies Zombies (2008)

Director: Jason Murphy

Rating: 3 / 5

Zombies and strippers. They go together like peanut butter and jelly; like cookies and milk; like doritos and apple sauce. But seriously, what could be better than being able to watch a bunch of hot chicks eating each other, without having to hide it from your family? I sure as hell can't think of anything. 

A scientist is working on an experimental drug that will kill cancerous cells. The drug works - it kills cancer cells, but it has a SERIOUS side effect. That drug gets stolen by a fat drug dealer. Said fat drug dealer later buys a whore, and the whore steals the drug from him. She smokes it like it's crack rock and shares it with one of her friends. The two whores become zombies and, well...You can probably figure out the rest. 

The strippers are: Dakota, Dallas, Pandora, and Harley. We also have Baby and her pimp, Johnny (or Daddy), Harley's brother Chris, and Dakota's boyfriend. Johnny figures out that it's the drug that's causing the whores to go crazy, so Chris and Dallas decide to go find the scientist. Johnny is actually a bit of a chicken shit, so he refuses to go along. The scientist has found a cure for the zombieism and he gives it to Chris before he is attacked by a zombie. Unfortunately, as Chris and Dallas are fighting with the zombie, Chris accidentally injects the drug into himself. They kill the zombie and go back to the strip club, without the cure. 

Meanwhile, there's plenty of comedy to distract you from all the blood and guts. Johnny is actually quite funny. He keeps his pimp hand strong, while jumping at every unusual sound or every person standing beside him. He finds out that Baby is pregnant, and tells her that he'll have to start working her overtime. You know, before she gets fat and all. We get to see Dakota giving her boyfriend a lap-dance, only to be attacked by a zombie. Boyfriend is very angry because he was about to get laid, and that damned zombie ruined it. So, naturally, he beats her into a pulp. 

If this isn't reason enough to see this movie, you're gay. Or a close-minded woman. Either way, you suck.

Much to my own dismay (because he happened to be my favorite character), Chris is attacked by a zombie. But it doesn't take long to realize that he is unaffected. The zombie, however, isn't as lucky. You see, since the cure had been injected into Chris's blood, he IS the cure now.
After letting two zombies in at a time, to bite Chris and be blown into pieces, Chris isn't looking too good. He is probably dying from blood-loss. Or just from letting so many zombies chow down on him. He can barely move anymore, but he realizes he is the only hope for the others' survival. And he is thinking of Harley, his sister, and Harley's daughter. He has to save them. So he sacrifices himself. He throws himself to the zombies and gets eaten up, leaving the surviving girls splattered with bits of exploded zombie guts.

If you like zombie flicks with comedy thrown in, this is the movie for you. I laughed through the whole thing, but I was equally amazed at the level of blood and guts. And the kills were fun as well - there's nothing more fun than watching a stripper take a chainsaw to a horde of zombies. It was a fun and entertaining experience.

#36 -- Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

Director: Lee Demarbre

Rating: 2 / 5

Wow...Okay, where to begin. I'm a huge fan of cheesy b-movies, but there are some that are too bad for even me. This would be one of them. It seems that this film has gained somewhat of a following, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. All right, so basically Jesus has returned to slay vampires. These vampires can walk in the daylight because of a new skin graft operation. Where do they get the skin? Lesbians of course! So, lesbians all over the place are disappearing. A couple of priests, including one with a mohawk, decide they need help. So they go to the island where Jesus lives, drinking lemonade that looks an awful lot like beer. The lady vampires also know where Jesus lives, and they've come to kill him. After killing both the priests, they go for him. But little did they know, Jesus is a ninja. [cue the long boring fight sequence] He gets away from them and goes back to town and gets a makeover, complete with haircut, shave, and earrings. 

He meets some atheists and decides to try to convert them. [cue another long boring fight sequence] He teams up with a foxy lady named Mary Magnum (Mary apparently wants some of that sweet ass; she even implies that Jesus has a big 'un), and they fight the vamps for a while until Mary is killed by Maxine Schreck (the head vampire lady). Jesus then speaks to his father, who comes to him via a bowl of ice cream. God sends a luchador, Santos, to team up with Jesus. They fight the lesbian vampires, and blah blah blah.

This movie mainly consists of incredibly long and slow fight sequences. And the fighting isn't even done well enough to say that it's "action-packed." It's just slow, and boring. I think the idea of Jesus fighting vampires is great, and it could have possibly been a great movie. I don't know what turns me off of it, but...It just didn't do it for me. I found myself checking the time every few minutes just to see if it was almost over. Now, that doesn't happen very often for me, but...here we are. It could have been the bad sound quality, because I couldn't hear or understand half the things they were saying. 

It wasn't completely awful, I don't guess. There were some funny parts, but not enough for me. There's not enough horror for it to be a horror movie, and not enough funny for it to be a comedy. I think they were going for horredy, but that didn't quite work either. I didn't hate it. It was more of one of those "I really don't give a shit" moments. So, meh. Whatever. 

#35 -- Amusement (2008)

Director: John Simpson

Rating: 3 / 5

A word to the wise, kids: Don't be a bully.

Bullying never works out well for either party involved. And sometimes, if you don't watch who you bully, you just might wind up dead. 

A kid is bullied by three girls (what kind of boy lets girls bully him, anyway?). That kid grows up to be a crazy son of a bitch. He's angry and thirsty - thirsty for revenge. This movie is kind of made up of three different stories. They seem completely disconnected at first, but end up tying together and playing a big part in the overall plot. 

First, we have Shelby. She and her boyfriend have been on vacation, it seems, and that vacation hasn't gone well. They're on their way home, and Boyfriend is playing some kind of game with other cars. He calls it a convoy. I have no idea what this is, but that may just be because of my complete incompetence when it comes to cars. But he explains it as communicating with the other cars while they're driving down the road. His convoy consists of a semi-truck and an SUV. They all end up pulling into a gas station and they meet up. The truck is driven by...well, we'll just call him Trucker. 

The SUV is driven by a nerdy looking middle-aged man. Trucker tells them that the interstate is packed up, that the cars aren't moving at all. But he knows a way around it and invites the others to follow him. While they're still sitting in the parking lot, Shelby sees a girl in the back of Trucker's truck. She doesn't think much of it, really. But as they're following behind him, the girl puts her face up to the window, holding a sign that says "Help me." Shelby is surprised, and begins to tell Boyfriend about it - and then the girl slams into their windshield. She's jumped out of the truck. She tells them not to let him get her. Shelby and Nerdy stay with the girl, and Boyfriend goes on a trucker chase to get Trucker's license plate number. But Trucker ends up chasing Boyfriend, and by the time he gets back, the girls and Trucker are gone. Nerdy tells him that he's taken both the girls hostage, and they go to find them. They come to a little shack, and Nerdy volunteers to go check everything out. Boyfriend is sitting in Nerdy's SUV waiting. Nerdy waits outside the door for Trucker, and when he walks out, Nerdy bashes him over the head and kills him. Boyfriend looks in the back of the SUV and sees the girls, beaten and bloody. Nerdy then returns to his SUV and...well, it's implied that he is going to either beat or kill Boyfriend, but it ends, so we don't get to see. Trucker was actually trying to take that girl to rehab. She wasn't really in any trouble; she was just a druggie who didn't want to give up her addiction.

Then we have Tabitha. She's babysitting for her little cousins. The boys were being babysat by another girl, but Tabitha has come to take over for her. When she gets there, the boys tell her that the babysitter has already left. Not long after, a boy shows up claiming to be Babysitter's boyfriend, and says that he hasn't seen or heard from her. Tabitha just assumes that the girl went to a friend's house. Tabitha is going to be sleeping in the guest room - and it's full of clown statues. They don't bother her too much, except for the life-size one sitting in the rocking chair. Her aunt calls, and Tabitha tells her she has a problem with the clown. But there's a bigger problem - Auntie says that they don't own a clown like that. Tabitha turns around, and...SURPRISE! The rocking chair is empty. They clown chases her and the boys around a little bit, and she ends up in a storage shed - where she finds Babysitter's body. The boys say that Clown just wants to play, but his games are NOT for children. 

Lastly, Lisa. She's clubbing with her roommate, and Roomie wants to spend some time with a guy in the bar. Lisa goes to spend some time with her boyfriend, and the two roomies were to meet back at home for "roommate night." When Lisa gets home Roomie is not there. So she invites Boyfriend back for some more fun. She wakes up in the morning, and Roomie still has not gotten home. So she decides to go to the hotel where Barboy is staying; she's sure that Roomie has gone to the hotel with him. The manager of the hotel tells her that all the beds are full and won't let her in. But she gets Boyfriend to use his Health Inspector badge to get in. Boyfriend is looking at a large music box; a blade shoots out of the box and flies into his eye. Lisa waits outside for a while, but eventually gets worried, so she sneaks into the hotel. After realizing that there is, in fact, NO ONE THERE, she finds many bodies sewn into the beds. So the beds were full, just...not by living people. 

Tabitha wakes up in an interrogation room. She is informed that she and her friends (who she hasn't seen since elementary school) were all found in the building, in separate cells. She suddenly remembers a boy they went to school with. They had all made some art projects: boxes with scenes inside that were viewed by looking into a hole. The boy's box contained a squirrel, or some kind of rodent, suspended with its stomach cut open. He said, "Funny, isn't it?" This boy wants revenge on them for bullying him, though the actual bullying was never shown. He's decided to torture them. He's got all sorts of mechanisms and things inside this building, including a room that shrinks and almost crushes Tabitha. He has Shelby and Lisa suspended with their stomachs cut open, or so it seems. He eventually rips the cloth off of them - the cloth that makes it LOOK like they've been cut open. They're completely unharmed; just scared out of their minds. He asks Tabitha, "It's funny, isn't it?" She starts laughing. This makes him happy. He lets her out, and she stabs him in the neck. As they're running away, Lisa gets stabbed and killed. Tabitha and Shelby keep running, and they get to a large ladder leading up to a hole. One of them (I won't say which) falls to her death, and the other makes it to the top. It looks like this is where Crazy Man lives; its set up like an apartment. But doors close all round our survivor, and we see that she is in a semi truck, and we (or at least I do) that this is what was happening to the girl in the truck that Shelby saw in the beginning. I'm not sure if that's the case, though.

This movie was entertaining. Tabitha's initial story involving the clown was the best part. The clown's creepy laugh was amazing. It was kind of confusing at times, because the story wasn't completely laid out for us. It just leaves it up to our own imagination, which I guess isn't all that bad. I honestly watched it mainly for the clown, because I dig some killer clowns. So if you're also into that sort of thing, definitely watch this one - because that clown rocks. 

#34 -- Let Me In (2010)

Director: Matt Reeves

Rating: 3 / 5

At last, a much needed break from the sparkly vampires. Said sparkly vampires should definitely run and hide from this one, because they would not stand a chance in hell. 

Owen is a troubled young boy of twelve. Well, he's not exactly troubled, so to speak. He is unhappy. His parents are getting a divorce and his mother is immersed in religious babbling. We believe from the beginning that he has problems. He stands in front of a mirror, wearing a mask and holding a kitchen knife, saying "Are you scared, little girl?" He then spies on his neighbors making whoopie. And we just know that this kid has problems. But once he gets to school, we realize where these problems come from. He is bullied constantly. While he is being pounded on, his bullies yell "Are you scared, little girl?" These little bullies are the biggest assholes I've ever seen. Owen can't swim, and they are bound and determined to get him into some water: probably just so they can laugh at him as he's flailing around in the water. 

A little girl around Owen's age moves into his apartment building, right next door to him. She is with a man believed to be her father. The first thing Owen notices about her is that she doesn't wear shoes - and it's the middle of winter. Owen sees her at night when he's outside, sitting on a jungle gym and eating Now & Laters. I fear that Owen might become morbidly obese at a later age, because he loves those damn Now & Laters. Owen and the little girl (Abby, he later learns) bond over a Rubix Cube and become friends. He has no idea what she is, and he doesn't seem concerned by the fact that he only sees her at night. I don't think he cares very much, though, because he likes her so much.

Abby doesn't usually do her killing herself. Her "father" finds people, kills them, and brings their blood back to her in jugs. But one night, a murder plan goes awry. There is a car accident, and Father pours acid all over his face. I'm not sure if he is trying to commit suicide (he says earlier that he is tired of living the way he does), or if he is trying to make himself unrecognizable to the police. Either way, his face is terribly burned and he is hospitalized. Abby visits him (by flying up to the window), and he lets her drink his blood. He then falls from the window, down into the snow below. 

A man is walking around, and goes into a tunnel. A little girl - Abby - is sitting inside crying, "Help me." Concerned, he approaches her. She tells him that she fell and she can't get up, and she asks him to carry her back to her apartment. He picks her up, and she attacks. She moves incredibly fast as she bounces around inside the tunnel. And a grown man is no match for this little girl; she flings him this way and that way and all around. She rips him apart, and we see her face: silver eyes, sharp teeth, covered in blood. I was very impressed with Chloe Moretz - how a young girl of only thirteen could play such a vicious character, and play it very well. She is frightening.

After killing the man, Abby sneaks up to Owen's window. When he asks her how she got up there, she tells him that she flew. He doesn't believe her. She makes him invite her inside. She takes off all her clothes and climbs into bed with him. Don't worry; there's no underage pornography in here. It simply implies that her clothing is removed. She will not allow him to look at her (because her face is covered with blood), but he notices that she is naked. "You're not wearing anything. And you're freezing," he says. "Is that gross?" she asks. He assures her that, no, it is not gross. He asks her to "go steady" with him. I'll pause for a moment to tell you that this movie takes place in 1983, so don't chastise the boy for his out of date language. 

When Owen realizes what she is, he seems frightened, but not quite enough for him to run away from her. He helps her get cleaned up after another murder, and he still sees her every night. She helps him as well. The bullies have decided to get revenge on Owen (because he hurt one of them, by cutting his ear in half). Swim practice is going on, late at night. They lure the teacher outside, and the Head Bully's brother holds Owen underwater. He says that if Owen can stay under there for three minutes, he'll only cut him a little bit; but if he can't, he'll poke a hole in his eyeballs. One minute passes, and Owen is sure that he is going to die - that is until the bloody bodies start falling into the pool all around him. He rises to the surface, and a pair of bloody hands lift his head up. Owen and Abby have a nice little slumber party on the diving board, while four bodies float in a bloody pool underneath. 

When the policeman investigating the murders finally finds her (she's sleeping underneath a pile of blankets in the bathtub), he opens up the window and burns her skin. But Owen has been watching. He screams at the man and he is surprised enough to turn. The split second of distraction is more than enough time for Abby to attack. She kills him in the same manner that of the other man, and she hugs Owen.

Is Abby stopped? Is she killed? Well, I actually don't want to give away the ending. Usually, I don't have a problem. But this ending, though a little bit uneventful, was very good. So, naturally, I feel like I should keep it to myself. It is a sweet story, even though the vampire in question is vicious and NOT SPARKLY. It's not scary. It's more disturbing: the sight of such a young girl committing brutal murders. I enjoyed it. And as I said before, it's a nice break in the screamy teen subgenre of vampire films. So, take a peek, if only in order to restore the lost hope in these bloodsucking monsters. Trust me, they're not dead. They're hiding from the screaming teens.

Did I mention that Abby does not sparkle?

Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse

I thought I would take a moment to talk about one of my favorite video games. I was so excited when I came across this gem a couple of years ago. In it, you play as Stubbs. Formerly a traveling salesman, he met his untimely death and later returned to raise his army of the undead. Yes! Finally, a game where the villain is the hero. Stubbs takes place in the fictional town of Punchbowl. It is set in the 1950s, where robots rule and zombies...eat your brains, what else? So, you basically walk around eating peoples' brains. What more could a zombie-lover ask for? Your victims yell hilarious things at you as you're eating them. Things like: "Stop eating me!", "You cannibal!", and "He's eating my SOUL!" And when you get full, what do you do? Just what we would do in real life - pass gas. Yes, apparently, zombies fart too. You will eat civilians, policemen, scientists, doctors - no one is safe! You will even have to urinate into the reservoir to contaminate it just 'cause you can! It's madness! It's fun! It's awesome! It's Stubbs the Zombie! The soundtrack is also a blast from the past (not my past, of course, but...someone's). I personally love oldies music, and that fact only made this game that much better. Unfortunately, I was not able to finish the game due to a shitty Xbox that decided to go KAPOOEY on me, and not play anything. So I don't know how the game turns out or whether or not Stubbs got the revenge that he deserved, and I'm afraid that I never will. Regardless, I have my fond memories. Stubbs will live on. Brrrrarrrggghhhh

#33 -- The Telling (2009)

 Director: Nicholas Carpenter

Rating: 3 / 5

"The only real horror is that there is no horror left."

Playmates Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt star in The Telling, which I believe to be a large contributing factor of why people watch this movie. Not that it's bad, but I mean...Come on. They're hot. We start of with your typical college party: kids at a pool, getting wasted and fooling around. A dumpy, plain girl, Brianna, is strolling through and is insulted by the Head Bitch (Madison). She runs away crying, into the pool house. A couple follow soon after, looking to make with the boom boom, and they find the girl - dead. She is sitting underneath a mirror which reads "You made me do this." In her hands is a bottle of alcohol, and a bottle of pills. It's sad, I suppose, but I really can feel no sympathy for this girl. I know it sucks getting bullied, especially by people that you look up to and aspire to be like. But committing suicide because they don't want you in their sorority? That's a bit extreme and a lot dumb as shit. So excuse me when I don't feel sorry for her. Anyhow, following the discovery of the girl, we have the typical boo-hooing mother. 

Cut to one year later, and the sorority is looking for new pledges. There are three girls up for the job, if you want to call it that. With the tragedy from the past year, the school has demanded that the sorority stop being such shallow bitches and actually look into what type of people they are, rather than how big their tits are. So, Head Bitch decides to have a little story-telling session. She likes horror, and whoever can tell the scariest story wins. 

Story # 1

Lily is living with her boyfriend, Tommy. Tommy's ex-girlfriend, Sarah, returns to the states from England, and he lets her stay with them until she can get on her feet. They find a doll that is pretty creepy. It's obvious it's been in the trash for a while: matted hair, eyeball rolling around in the socket, dirty dress...blah blah blah. The doll talks in a weird, almost robotic voice, and says things like "I love you," and "We can be beeessst friends." The typical doll things to say. But after a while, the doll develops a larger vocabulary. Turns out, when she says "I love you" to Tommy, she actually means it. And Sarah isn't the one that Lily needs to be worrying about. When the doll first tells Lily, "I think I'll have him all to myself," she believes that Sarah has put a radio in the doll, to mess with her. The doll keeps saying things like this, and Lily goes a bit nutzo. She's so out-there, though, that it turns something that could be quite frightening into something utterly hilarious. While she's in the bath, she hears a strange noise downstairs. She goes to investigate and - surprise surprise - Sarah is dead in the kitchen. Lily finds little bitty doll-prints in Sarah's blood, and she follows them to the television set. She grabs the doll angrily, and she is electrocuted. Hearing the screams, Tommy rushes downstairs to find the two girls. The doll then says, "I hope they allow conjugal visits where you're going." Ha-ha. Ha-ha. So, really, this one ends up being more funny than anything. It's not a bad thing, but I'm not quite sure that's what they were going for. The pledge who is telling the story informs us that Tommy was, indeed, put away for life.

Story # 2

Eva DeMarco (played by Marquardt) is a washed-up actress who is desperate for work. She tells her agent that she will take any - ANY - role, as long as she gets that cheddar. He finds her a job in - I assume - Romania. When she gets to a creepy castle (what else?), she meets the handsome and charming director, Victor. He fills her full of absinthe, and she has a horrible nightmare involving creepy people in masks. She awakes to a letter telling her to meet them for a cast and crew dinner before filming. She gets there, and all the people at the table are wearing masks: the same ones she saw in her dream. However, she doesn't seem alarmed by this. Maybe she doesn't remember? I don't know. But when they all keep staring at her, she gets nervous quickly. Victor plays a video for her, explaining that the first thing people did with the invention of motion pictures was to film horrific things: executions, wars, etc. He claims that the man who recorded this film is a man of artistic genius. IS, not was. He is sitting at the table, and he removes his mask to show a grisly face. Or, what I assume was supposed to be grisly. Through a sort of montage, all of the cast remove their masks. They are a film crew of the undead. They explain that they have lived for so long, they have seen everything, and that regular horror films just don't cut it anymore. I think she said "Nosferatu don't cut it," or something along those lines. So, they make their own horror movies, and their demographic? Well, the undead of course! They get bored sometimes too. So, they drug Eva and tie her to a table. Unfortunately, we don't get to see any of the gore I'm sure came afterwards. We cut to Eva sitting at the table with Victor and saying, "I'm ready for my close-up."

Story # 3

This one is my favorite of the three stories. It is simple and slasher-esque, and that is what I love about horror movies. We've got three friends: Jenna, Anna, and Meredith. Jenna is a bitch - just a flat out bitch. They're planning to go out to the movies. There's a repairman at their house, because something is wrong with the television and Jenna MUST record her show or she will kill someone. She decides to leave the repairman alone in their house so that they're not late to the movie. They return shortly afterwards - the movie is sold out. Jenna's PISSED. She is going to kill someone. Did I mention she's a bitch? For some fun, they decide to make prank phone calls. Jenna calls a lady, pretends to be a police officer, and tells the woman that her husband is dead (bit - I think you can tell by now...). Meredith calls a man and tells him that his house has been chosen to receive some free pizza. In the middle of their conversation, there is a knock at the man's door, and he goes to answer it. There is a struggle, and the man is obviously murdered. The girls call the police to tell them about the incident. Before they do, they get a phone call saying that if they do call the police, or tell anyone, they will be next. They call the police anyways. One cop shows up (they find this suspicious because he doesn't have a partner) and surveys the house. They soon become very suspicious, and the logic behind their suspicions escapes me. He's sweaty, so he can't actually be a cop. I'm stumped. But, anyways. Jenna dies first, but not before she stabs the killer in the hand. Ana is next: strangled. Meredith is obviously hysterical. The repairman shows up again and the policeman handcuffs him to a chair, believing him to be the murderer. But Meredith knows the truth...She stabs and shoots the policeman, only to return to find Repairman dead. The killer shows up saying, "Look at the mess you made," and it's over.

We return to the sorority house, and they have chosen their new members: two girls who look just like them. They will not allow the "normal" girls into their sorority, of course. Suddenly, they start feeling ill. They believe it to be caused by bad wine, but one of the pledges assures them that it's probably the poison. The girl has poisoned some cookies, in order to avenge her sister, Brianna. Even though Brianna committed suicide for a really dumbshit reason, this girl blames the sorority bitches. She has set it up to look like a group suicide. She's written suicide notes via text messages and even e-mailed the girls' families. She exits the sorority house and lets Boo-hooing Mother know that their job is done.

This movie wasn't wonderfully made, but I enjoyed it. I'm not really sure why...Maybe it was all the hot women. So that is my advice to you. If you're interested in seeing some smokin' babes, then check it out. Otherwise, meh - take or leave it.

#32 -- The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

Director: Peter Cornwell

Rating: 4 / 5

This is perhaps the best possession/haunted house movie I've ever seen. It was supposedly based on a true story. I don't know how much of that I believe to be real, but regardless, the movie was good. 

A woman with a cancerous teenage son, Matt, moves to Connecticut, in order to be closer to the hospital he must frequent for treatments. Almost immediately after they move in, Matt starts seeing strange things. They put if off as hallucinations due to side effects from the experimental treatment he is receiving. A couple of things he sees: bodies having strange letters and symbols cut into their skin, and having their eyelids removed; a seance; and sandbags being thrown into caskets. He puts it off as well, until he finds a box of photos underneath the floorboards in the attic. The young boy he has been seeing in his hallucinations was a real boy, and his name is Jonah. 

After doing some research with his cousin, they find out what had happened in the house many, many years ago. The house was a funeral home, owned by a Mr. Aickman. The funeral home doubled as a place for communicating with the dead. People would come from all over the world to speak with their dead loved ones. Jonah was Mr. Aickman's medium.

Eventually Mr. Aickman found a way to "amplify" his seances, giving him the ability to make ectoplasms appear. Ectoplasm is some weird gooey junk that would spew from the orifices (mouth, nose, ears, and..ahem..others...) It seems Mr. Aickman was stealing bodies from the local cemetery (and replacing them with sandbags inside the coffins) to conduct these "experiments." It was believed that he cut off their eyelids so they would have to see, rather than be rested after death. But they learned later that he was removing them to make the spirits "unseen." One day, one of the seances went wrong, and all the members were killed - except Jonah. 

They believe that Jonah's spirit is trapped in the house, and he is the one who is haunting them. They call upon a preacher that Matt had met at the hospital, and he helps them exorcise the demon, so to speak. He uses some kind of metallic crucifix to find where the spirit is trapped. He finds it in the dumbwaiter, and traces it back into the wall. He finds Jonah's ashes and takes them out of the house. Everyone goes about their regular business, believing the nightmare to be over. But when the preacher has a huge profound moment in his car, alongside Jonah's thought-to-be-rested spirit, he realizes that it is most definitely not over. He calls the house to explain to them, but no one answers.

It turns out that, when the others had been killed during the seance, Jonah fled. He tried to escape the house, but the spirits turned on him, and he became trapped inside a furnace: being burned alive. Since his eyelids had not been removed, it was deduced that he was not one of the evil spirits, and that the evils were still in the house. Jonah was actually protecting the house from them, trying to warn the occupants. 

Matt ends up encountering Jonah's spirit in the hospital, where (SPOILER ALERT!) the spirit enters Matt's body. Matt is dead from the cancer. Jonah then returns to the house, removes the bodies from their hidey-holes, and burns the house down. This sets all the other, evil, spirits free. He then exits Matt's body, and paramedics try desperately to revive him.

In a bit of text before the end credits, we are informed that Matt's cancer disappeared and he recovered completely. 

The Haunting in Connecticut was not exactly scary, no. There were a few OMG scenes (the typical: where we see spirits/apparitions in mirrors and/or shadows), but overall - not very scary. However, the story was amazing, and the execution was great. It was just a genuinely interesting story. And while I might not believe it, the fact that it was "based on true facts" is also interesting. Overall a very good movie, and a must-see for fans of the supernatural. 

MORAL: Beware of funeral home directors. They'll fuck you up.

Profile of a Serial Killer: Jeffrey Dahmer

Horror in any sort of entertainment industry would not exist if not for the horrors of real life. They would have no purpose; there would be no reaction if we didn't understand that things like this really happen. That is why horror movies scare us: because they're relate-able. It is not the case with all horror movies, of course, but we know that these things could possibly happen to us. Here, I will profile the most infamous serial killers in history. Perhaps learning of the horrors in our world, you will be able to better appreciate these movies for what they are.


Birth name: Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer
Date of Birth: May 21, 1960
Date of Death: November 28, 1994
Cause of Death: Murder

Jeffrey Dahmer was a triple threat: serial killer, cannibal, necrophiliac. With his somewhat boyish and nerdy looks, one would not expect him to do the horrible things he did (especially since he worked in a chocolate factory: a real life Willy Wonka). But that is what all horror teaches us: expect the unexpected. He murdered at least seventeen men between the years of 1978 and 1991 (these are the only ones that were confirmed).

I believe personally that this number would have been smaller if not for the incompetence of the police force. One of Dahmer's victims, fourteen year-old Konerak Sinthasomphone, escaped. After Dahmer drilled a hole in the boy's head and poured acid inside (leaving him in a zombie-like state), the boy managed to wander out into the street. He was naked, bleeding, and very much disoriented. Two women saw him and called the police. When the police arrived, Dahmer told them that the boy was nineteen years-old, and his boyfriend. He told them he'd gotten drunk, they'd fought, and he'd wandered outside. The police agreed, and they left the boy with Dahmer. The police actually thought the situation was funny. They were recorded in phone calls and conversations with dispatchers, and they were laughing. Sinthasomphone was murdered only moments later.

Sinthasomphone was Dahmer's thirteenth victim. If the police had investigated this a bit more, and realized that he was an underage prisoner of Dahmer's (drugged, not drunk), that boy would still be alive. They could have also saved four more lives. But what I believe to be an unwillingness to get in the middle of a homosexual domestic dispute prevented them from doing so.

Dahmer liked to keep trophies of his kills. Heads and several other organs and body parts were found in his home during investigation. He would either preserve them to keep as keepsakes, or he would eat them. He was also a known necrophiliac. This was because of what Dahmer himself called "passive sex" where he felt the need to do horrible things to his victims' corpses.

Known Victims
1. Stephen Hicks (18) in June of 1978
2. Steven Tuomi (26) in September of 1987
3. Jamie Doxtator (25) in October of 1988
4. Richard Guerrero (25) in March of 1988
5. Anthony Sears (24) in February of 1989
6. Eddie Smith (36) in June of 1990
7. Ricky Beeks (27) in July of 1990
8. Ernest Miller (22) in September of 1990
9. David Thomas (23) in September of 1990
10. Curtis Straughter (16) in February of 1991
11. Errol Lindsey (19) in April of 1991
12. Tony Hughes (31) in May of 1991
13. Konerak Sinthasomphone (14) in May of 1991
14. Matt Turner (20) in June of 1991
15. Jeremiah Weinberger (23) in July of 1991
16. Oliver Lacy (23) in July of 1991
17. Joseph Bradeholt (25) in July of 1991

Dahmer was found guilty of fifteen counts of murder (reduced from seventeen for reasons I'm not sure of), and was sentenced to fifteen consecutive life sentences: a total of 937 years. However, on November 28, 1994 Dahmer was beaten to death along with another prisoner, by fellow inmate Christopher Scarver.

Dahmer is the only serial murderer, that I have found so far, that seemed to feel remorse for what he'd done. Before being taken to prison, he seemed almost happy because he knew that it meant he couldn't cause any more harm to people. Whether this was a ruse or not, we will never know.

#31 -- Slashers (2001)

Director: Maurice Devereaux Rating: 4 / 5

A new game show is on the rise in - where else - Japan. They're having their first ever American special, with all American contestants. What do they have to do? Survive. They will run for their lives through a maze inside the studio, and if they survive they will win A LOT of money. I'm talking millions of dollars. And, a plus: they win millions of dollars for each slasher that they kill. 

The slashers? They're the best characters in the movie. The contestants (Megan, Michael, Rick, Devon, Rebecca, Brenda) are believable and we do feel for them. But the slashers are far more entertaining. We have Chainsaw Charlie ("Born in a barn, raised in a slaughterhouse"), a redneck with a chainsaw; Dr. Ripper ("I want you to open your mouth and say 'Aaaaahhhh!'"), a hilarious doctor with wonderful one-liners; and Preacherman ("One bad mother superior"), who wants to rid the world of sinners. Charlie and Dr. Ripper are veterans in the game; they know what they're doing, and they do it well. This is Preacherman's first appearance, and he's not so good. He ends up being the first slasher offed. 

The set that was used for their maze was actually an old paintball course, but I believe it worked wonderfully. There were plenty of places for the contestants to hide, and they even added some trickery to it (like a room that rotates every so often). There is a love room, where contestants can have sex to add time to their lives (because everyone loves seeing sex). Michael tries to rape Megan in order to do this, but she is saved by Devon. 

Rebecca (a strong girl who has a life-threatening disease) ends up killing Preacherman, right before Charlie kills her. He cuts her in half with his chainsaw, and Megan is forced by Dr. Ripper to watch the whole thing. The others...I'll leave you to find out for yourself. But, in the end it's Megan and Michael left standing. But Michael has a dirty little secret of his own and, even though all the slashers are dead, Megan is still in danger. Michael wants to kill Megan so that he can keep all the money for himself ("I'm gonna rape you, and I'm gonna kill you. But not necessarily in that order"). But Megan, a law student, bluffs him into thinking he will go to jail when the show is over. He is afraid, and ends up taking care of himself. 

This one, honestly, is just fun to watch. There's nothing big and splendid about it, and it's not perfect in any aspect: the acting, filming, effects, etc. But it's definitely entertaining. I'm wondering when there's going to be a real game show like this. America seems obsessed with death and murder anyways, so it's only a matter of time. But I think the writers got it right. If a game show like this were to actually surface, I think it would be safe to say it would take place in Japan (you never know what you're going to see over there). 

So if you're looking for a wonderfully made horror film, this is not the movie for you. But if you, like me, enjoy just a good entertaining film...give it a try. Even if you don't love it like I do, it will definitely get a reaction out of you.